Brendan was too far away to catch the lads name while he stood awkwardly talking with Warren by the counter, but he had been aware of him the moment the young man walked in. Skinny, swamped in with hoodie two size too big and baggy trackies. Shoulders up, like protecting himself, like he was used to getting pushed around.

The way Warren was looking down on him with sneer on his face kinda told that was the case.

Brendan pretended he was focused on checking out the dumbbells on the shelf, while edging his way closer. The lad had a frown on his face while he listened Warren's jargon about gym rules and so on. There seemed to be some sort of disagreement after that, even when Brendan couldn't hear properly what was going on. But then Warren did him a favour and turned to look at him instead.

"Brady. Come here, will ya."

"Being so polite, Foxy, how could I refuse?" Brendan walked towards them as slowly as he could, seeing the annoyance on Warren's face. The lad was staring at him, with the same frown on his face as he had been talking with Fox.

Blue eyes.

Underneath the hostility Brendan saw something else, a flare of interest when the blue gaze run over Brendan's frame quickly before settling on his eyes.

Good.

"Little Ste here is interested of joining in but he's not yet quite sure is the membership worth it." For a second Brendan had forgot Foxy was there until he spoke and forced Brendan attention towards himself. "I thought you might give him a little tour, show him what's what and see if you'd get him seal the deal." Warren gave them the fakest of his smiles and Brendan gave him one of his.

"My pleasure." He didn't turn to look at the kid when he turned, "This way," and walked off. He didn't have to turn to check if the lad followed, and only stopped at the other side of the gym, putting the boxing ring between them and Warren and making sure he wouldn't be able to hear them. He turned to face the lad who was gazing around under his frown, giving sceptical looks to the machines they had in there.

"So, tell me Steven, what do you look for a gym? We are small but we have all you need for a good training, and as you can see we offer a chance to spar in the ring as well as -"

"It dun't matter, does it." The lad spoke, cutting Brendan off. Rude. He threw a angry glance at him. "I already told the other bloke, it's too expensive, I can't afford it, can I." He had his arms crossed over his chest, protective. Brendan knew that look.

He leaned back to rest against the wall. "If it wasn't that expensive, what would have been your goals? Muscle build? Stamina? Looks like you could do both." To be honest Brendan tried his best not to imagine that perfect slim frame without those baggy clothes as he would have had to excuse himself to the toilets if he let his imagination wander. He got another angry glance from the lad and it made him grin. The lad, Steven, shuffled with his feet awkwardly, softening a little after noticing that Brendan was messing with him.

"I don't know. I thought, maybe, maybe someone could have teach me how to fight. Like punching and that, and I knew this gym had the ring, so... But like I said, the prise is too high."

It surprised Brendan. The prices of their gym were very low, as the main income came from Foxy's side businesses which the gym covered. But looking the way Steven was dressed, clearly a kid from council estate, maybe he didn't have even that small amount Foxy was taking for.

Seeing the way Steven held himself, the way he wanted to learn how to fight, told a story of it's own. Brendan felt a strange pull inside of him.

"Tell you what, Steven." He pushed himself away from the wall and walked near him. The lad startled from the sudden proximity, but he didn't step away, instead looking up to face Brendan's gaze. Brendan was aware of the boy's scent, cheap aftershave and something else, sweet, familiar, which made his balls hum. "How old are you, even, seventeen, eighteen?"

"Twenty." Lad pouted. Brendan could imagine those lips around his dick.

"Shame, you are too old to our youth program. But what I can do for you, is to give you a month trial for free."

"What?" Steven's mouth fell open before the suspicious frown was back. "What's the catch?"

"There is no catch." Brendan did his best to hide how much he wanted the boy to stick around. He had no idea why, apart from him being hot as fuck, but there was something else that pulled his curiosity. "One month free trial, you get all the benefits including training sessions with me if you like, and after a month we can look over you joining in or you just walk away. How's that, eh?"

Steven hesitated. He was staring at Brendan's eyes like he tried to see something menacing in there. Finally he gave a small nod. "Okay."

"Good." Brendan stepped back. "We are open till noon to ten pm, Tuesdays to Saturdays, Foxy there does the morning shifts and I'm mainly here by the evenings, just the heads up if you want to pick your trainer. There's locker rooms and stuff, but I guess a smart lad like you can figure it all out. Or would you like me to come and show you how the showers work?"

"Shut up." There was a flicker of smile on Steven's face before it disappeared, but it was long enough to tell Brendan that if the lad was gorgeous while in a bad mood, he would be stunning when he was happy. "Do I need to sign something or..."

"Nope. I tell Foxy, we have a good face memory and this place is so small we can tell if there's strangers in. So, thirty days, starting today. You wanna get right started?"

"No I can't. I don't have me stuff." He looked awkward again, making Brendan wonder did the lad even have money to buy any gym gear. "I'll come by tomorrow."

"I'll be keeping an eye for you." Brendan said and he though he saw the lad blush a bit, but he quickly turned his face away.

"Ta. See ya, then." And off he went, faster than Brendan expected. He walked behind him, seeing Foxy throw a curious glance to Steven when he slipped through the door into the street.

"Your sale speak needs some polishing." Foxy said and turned a page on the magazine he was reading at the desk.

"On the contrary. I gave the lad a months trial."

"You're joking." Foxy looked at him like he had lost his mind. Maybe he had.

"I'm not. He was too old for the youth program, but this still says charity. Young, poor lad from the estate, turning his life around after getting a membership from the gym... I can see the headlines. Imagine what it does to the imago of this place." Brendan grinned. Warren's side business had a nasty habit of spreading around, and it wasn't as secretive as Warren had hoped.

"You'll be paying his membership from your own pocket." Warren grunted.

"Ah, Foxy, sign of a good will. You let this slide and maybe I forget the lady in that tight dress once my sister comes along the next time." What ever had got Cheryl pay any interest on Warren, Brendan never knew.

Warren squinted at him, before sighing. "Fine. One skinny runt here or there, I don't care." He picked up the magazine again. "It's a good thing you have that ridiculous tache on your face. No one can take you seriously anyway."

Brendan had heard better throwbacks, but he let Warren have this one. He was already thinking had he been a fool after all, and if the lad like Steven could be trusted to show up even for a free gym hours.

He could hardly wait the next day to see if the boy were back.

::::::

As it turned out, Steven was back the next day, and following days as well. He had the habit of kinda sneaking in, like he was embarrassed to enter, disappearing for the locker rooms for a while before reappearing, wearing another pair of baggy trackies and T-shirt too big for him. The lad probably got all his clothes second hand, scraped together here and there, but from the way that oversized clothing revealed his jutting collar bones Brendan wasn't going to complain.

Brendan tried to play it cool, focusing on training other customers while he was constantly weirdly aware of Steven slouching around the gym, trying different machines awkwardly but too stubborn to ask any help. One of the regulars, Rhys, noticed the lad and after watching him try chest press he casually made his way close by to offer some tips. The next time Brendan looked they had moved over to the cable triceps bar and Rhys was showing how it worked.

Brendan felt a flare of annoyance, but he knew Rhys was straight and were in the gym purely to impress his girlfriend. Still, every time Brendan's eyes landed on Steven he couldn't help but thinking how every man would want to try their luck on him, straight or not.

It was Steven's third night in the gym when he finally approached Brendan, shyly made his way closer until Brendan pretended he just noticed him.

"Alright?"

"Yeah, hi, um, I was wondering, if you could, maybe, like train me?"

"Got enough from the machines already, have ya? Gained enough muscle to take me on?"

God, he sounded flirty even when tried to tone it down.

Seeing Steven get flustered made it worth it.

"I mean, that's why I came, didn't I, to get to know how to, you know..." Steven looked anywhere but him.

"Throw a few mean punches, that what you want, isn't it?" Brendan asked and the lad gave him a small nod. "I'm not gonna spar you tho, not until you get some idea what you are doing."

"You not gonna teach me?" There was dark cloud on the lad's face when he looked at Brendan disappointed.

"I said I won't spar with you. I can still train you." Brendan tried not to focus on the warmth spreading inside him when Steven's face was illuminated by hope. "Come here."

He took Steven to the punching bag and went over the spare gloves by the shelf, finding a pair which weren't a totally useless.

"Put these on and we see what you got."

He was awkward, there was no doubt about it. His punches were clumsy and Brendan had no troubles holding the sack while Steven gave it his best shots. But there was determination in his eyes which Brendan liked. This one wasn't going to give up so easy.

"Okay, I've seen enough. Step aside for a second, let me show you how to stand."

For a while Brendan just showed Steven how to fix his pose so he was more stable and could get more strength on his hits. Ste tried to mimic him the best he could, watching closely Brendan's every move. When Brendan stepped closer and took a hold of Steven's arm to put it in a better position there was rush of electricity going on between them. Brendan let go and Steven took a step back.

"Alright." Brendan cleared his throat. "That was good, you are a fast learner. Practice what we did now, just the pose, maybe watch come boxing clips online. We continue from this next time. Okay. Good."

He had to get away. Steven opened his mouth to say something but Brendan couldn't hang around to listen. He made his way to the office, locked the door and leaned his forehead against it, trying to steady his ratchet breathing. What the fuck was going on?

The next day Macca showed up. Brendan had been glancing on the door, hoping to catch Steven's slim frame to slip in, but instead it was this another young lad. Macca's face lit up when he saw Brendan and as hard as Brendan tried to zig zag his way to the opposite direction Macca caught up on him.

"Hiya." Macca breathed, smiling nervously, brightly. "Should have known this is where you're hiding. I have been trying to call you."

"Have been busy." Brendan grunted.

Macca reached to touch his hand. "I have been missing you."

Brendan pulled his hand away. "I'm at work."

"You're always at work." Macca was too close, trying to reach for him. "Brendan, please."

Brendan could feel the eyes on him, the cold sweat on his neck. By the corner of his eyes he could see Steven entering the gym, throwing a questioning glance towards them. "In the office. Now." Brendan growled low and rushed in.

Once Macca had followed him Brendan pushed the door closed.

"What do you want, Macca, what do you want?"

"Isn't it obvious?" The young man gave him a look so full of need that it was disgusting. "I want you. Brendan, I though after you and Eileen separated we could -"

"You thought what? That we had some movie romance? Ride in the sunset? How stupid are you?"

Macca swallowed but didn't give up – it was weird how his stubbornness was layered with neediness which repulsed Brendan, while Steven's stubbornness had quite quite the opposite reaction.

He really shouldn't be thinking Steven right now.

"I lost everything since Eileen caught us, my family hardly speaks to me, but I thought it would be worth it if we just..."

"Shut up." Brendan couldn't look at him. "I lost my family too, she hardly let me see the boys, you know what this cost me."

"And you can't make me pay for it. You were in it just as much." For a second Macca's words made Brendan feel ashamed the way he had been treating the lad. But the he made it worse again, by getting too close. "You are out now, and I could make you happy if you just let me."

Brendan imagined it, them in his small studio flat he had rented since Eileen threw him out, Macca in his bed, in his life, his constant need to please Brendan suffocating him. People knowing, people seeing, them, together, like it was meant to be. The image made Brendan's skin to crawl.

Macca's hands were on him, he was leaning closer, trying to kiss him, make this something is was not.

"Get off!" Brendan pushed him, and only then he realised the door in the office was cracked open and Steven was peering in. "What the fuck do you want?!"

"Errr, I though, are we gonna have our training today?" Lad's eyes were like saucers and Brendan couldn't help but thinking how much he had seen, how much of Macca on him had the boy witnessed.

"Get out." It was all it took and Steven was gone, and the door was shut again. He took a step to it and pulled it open. "Get out." He said again, to Macca this time. "Never come to my work again. If I need you I call you. Now, GET OUT!"

Thankfully, Macca left without a word, looking bruised and hurt. Brendan slammed the door shut and slumped sitting the uncomfortable chair they had in there.

Steven would have to train alone tonight.

::::::

Brendan was almost sure Steven wouldn't be back after getting shouted at, but the next day he was there as usual. It was late and Saturday evening, almost nine o'clock and there were just regular doing some lifts when Steven suddenly appeared next to Brendan who was rolling towels, almost startling him. He hadn't seen the lad come in, too focused on imagining all the things Steven probably thought of him alongside his fucked up relationship with Macca, and now when Steven was there there was rush of relief, surprising Brendan as much as boy being back.

"Um, could you maybe see if my posture is any better now?" Steven asked, and Brendan tried to catch any new reservations in his gaze but saw none. Boy seemed to always be guarded, looking everyone with suspicion in his eyes before relaxing or letting his shield drop when he was focused on using the machines or throwing punches. Brendan was glad he didn't see any disgust or anger in him after what he had seen yesterday.

They moved to the sack and it seemed that Steven had listened Brendan's advises. His stance was more stable and there were more power in his punches, but it was still obvious to Brendan that it would take sheer luck for the lad to ever win a fist tight. Still, he kept encouraging him and they went on for a good while, Brendan holding the punching bag while Steven let his frustration out.

At some point Brendan realised they were only one's left in the gym and it was soon time to lock up the place. Steven seemed to run out of his steam and took a step back, shaking his right arm a bit to let go of the tension but he seemed pleased with his workout.

"That was better." Brendan said, helping Steven remove the gloves. It was suddenly very quiet without the noise of leather getting hit, and Brendan couldn't help himself asking "Who do you imagine it is, when you hit it?"

Steven shrugged, looked the floor. "No one. Does it matter?"

"No." Brendan put the gloves back on the shelf. "But I know it's someone, from the way you look at it before you hit it."

Steven threw him a glance. "When you train, do you see someone in it, then?"

"Yes."

"Who?"

"It's getting late." Brendan sighed. He watched Steven's expression get guarded again from Brendan closing off, and it made Brendan's heart ache.

Fucking ache.

"Steven." He cleared his throat. "I'm sorry about yesterday, about..."

"No, it was my fault, I shouldn't have come looking when the door was shut, I should have known you had something private with your boyfriend." Steven was rambling now, quick to make his apologies. It made Brendan think how he must have been used to apologising all the time. Still, some of his words made Brendan flinch.

"He's not my boyfriend." His words sounded loud and hard, and now it was Steven who flinched. Brendan forced his tone down. "I'm not with him, I'm not..." I'm not gay, he wanted to say, years of living in denial pushing up again, but he swallowed the words. "It's complicated."

"Okay." Steven nodded, relaxing again. "I'm still sorry I disturbed you."

"Nothing to apologise." Brendan said. They stood there awkwardly a while, before Brendan remembered the time again. "I really need to close up. You still have time to hit the shower while I do my check up, if you want."

"Ta." Steven disappeared to the locker rooms while Brendan walked around the gym, making sure everything looked fine, putting some of the gears back on their right places, wiped out few of the machines some idiot had left sweaty. When he thought he had waited long enough he too went to the locker room to get his belongings.

Steven was half way through dressing up, he had his baggy trackie bottoms on but he was shirtless, skin still gleaming from the shower, hair wet. Brendan tried not to look but it took all his strength. He made his way to his own locker, and while he got his stuff out he couldn't help but take a glance of Steven fiddling with his shirt, and when he lifted his arms while pulling it over his head Brendan could see the outline of his ribs and a cheap looking tattoo on his hip, peeking through the hem of his pants.

Jesus.

Brendan remembered how to breathe. Shower could wait till he got home, but he wanted to change his clothes nevertheless. He took off his shirt and gym pants, before pulling his jeans on. While he was buckling his belt he was suddenly aware that Steven had gone very still, and when he turned his head the lad was staring at him. Soon as Steven noticed Brendan was looking at him, he quickly started to shuffle his clothes into a plastic bag he used to carry his stuff around.

"I have a old gym bag I don't use, if you need one." Brendan said to fill the silence.

"I don't need handovers." Steven mumbled.

"Don't you accept gifts either?" Brendan asked. Steven turned to face him now, watching when Brendan pulled on his T-shirt and hoodie on top.

"Not from strange men, no."

"Ah, and here I though we were mates."

Steven smiled then and Brendan could feel his own mouth betraying him, mirroring Steven's expression.

"Seriously, it's going in the bin if you don't want it, or to goodwill's, so it's up to you."

"Well alright then. Thanks." Steven zipped up his trackie top and threw his plastic bag on his shoulder, but his gaze never left Brendan's eyes.

"Good. I'll bring it here on Tuesday, assuming you'll be joining us."

"I'll be back, making most of me free month." Ste said as they left the locker room together, Brendan shutting off lights as they went. "Thanks, again, for this trial thingy, it's dead nice from you."

"You're welcome." They reached the front door, and Steven waited when Brendan set up the alarm and then locked the door after they stepped out on the street. It was a quiet road, hardly any traffic when they stood on the sidewalk facing each other. "You shouldn't be so suspicious over everything, you know. Not everyone is here to screw you."

"Aren't they?" Brendan could have sworn there was new kind of gleam in Steven's eyes and his tone was lower. Brendan was pretty sure that if he had leaned in Steven wouldn't have backed down.

It was too soon.

"Goodnight Steven. See you on Tuesday."

Was it disappointment in his eyes now? "I'll see you then. Bye." The lad turned and rushed down the street, hunching his shoulders up again on that way of his. Brendan watched him go until he blended in with the shadows on the street.

He called Macca on his way home. It disgusted him that he did, but it was easier than going in for a pull, and it disgusted him how eager Macca was to come in, how he didn't question why Brendan wanted him in after things he had said the day before. He didn't even question why Brendan didn't want the lights on like he usually did, when Brendan fucked him in the darkness of his studio flat, imagining that the eager body spread underneath him belonged to someone else.

::::::

On Tuesday Brendan was just sparring with Dodger when he heard Foxy's laughter by the door.

"What happened to you? Walked on the door? Shame you ain't paying for this, I would ask my money back from Brady giving such crappy lessons if this is the payoff."

Brendan turned to see what was going on, and it was Steven. He had clearly tried to sneak in after seeing Warren was still at the desk, hoodie up but it wasn't enough to hide the massive bruise on his left eye. Warren grinned at Brendan and shook his head laughing, before returning to his paperwork. Steven stood by the door, looking ready to turn around and run.

"Steven." Brendan called and the lad gave him a defeated glance. Brendan turned to speak for Rhys who had been watching the match on the side of the ring. "You, come in and take my place, will ya? Give Dodger more equal opponent, as he has no chance with me."

"Oi!" Dodger shouted before laughing, and while Rhys climbed in the ring Brendan scooted out and walked to Steven who still stood frozen on his place.

Brendan ignored Warren's amused glances and instead leaned to see Steven's face closer. The bruise was fresh and his eye was puffy too. "Steven, what happened?"

The boy just shrugged and didn't face Brendan's gaze.

"Alright, come here." Brendan carefully placed his hand on Steven's shoulder, and steered him on the other side of the ring where Warren wouldn't bother them. He sat Steven down on the bench there and sat next to him. Steven still wan't meeting his eyes. "Steven. Who did this?"

"I don't wanna talk about, alright?" Steven snapped. "I just came for my training, not for the third degree."

Brendan took a breath in. "Okay. Go get changed."

Steven looked at him then, surprised Brendan gave up so easily. When Brendan said nothing more the lad rose and rushed to the locker rooms, leaving Brendan wonder who was the asshole bruising that pretty face.

When Steven was back Dodger and Rhys had finished their sparring session and were idly chatting while collecting their water bottles and what ever, and Warren had fucked off the premise, so it was it was almost like they were completely alone again. This time Brendan didn't bother to give Steven any advises, but just held the bag while Steven punched it, again and again. He went on until he was breathless and sweaty, and all out of what ever anger he had been bottling up. Then Brendan went to get them cold drinks from the office and they sat on the bench again, only sounds being the gulps from Steven chunking down his water.

"Better now?" Brendan asked when Steven had drowned half of his drink.

"Yeah." The lad nodded. He played with the label of the bottle, peering it off. "It didn't help tho, none of it, the things you said. I forgot it all when... I just, like, froze."

"That happens." Brendan said and Steven looked at him curiously. "Happens to me too. Happened. Hardly anyone ever feels lucky enough to try taking me down, but... I wasn't always this big, you know. I used to be a skinny runt, just like you, back in the day."

Steven gave him a small smile. "I can't imagine it."

"You gonna tell me who beat you up?"

Sigh. "Does it matter?"

It does to me.

"Just wanna look after my favourite client."

"I'm not paying for ya." Steven pointed out. He rose up. "Thanks for the drink. See you tomorrow."

"See ya." Brendan watched him go. He wondered where the lad went each night he left the gym, what kind of hell hole did he live in, with who. Was the person who caused the black eye gonna hurt him again?

It didn't seem to happen, as the bruise on Steven's face faded as the week went on. He still came in every night, slipping through the door at half nine, nine, when there were just Brendan and maybe one or two members finishing up their sets, so when he and Brendan went over their set they had their privacy. Brendan picked up some of the machines he thought might help Steven to buff up, even when the thought of him changing that perfect frame of his made Brendan ache.

"I wanna spar." Steven said on Saturday night, when Brendan was making his way to the punching bag.

Brendan raised his eyebrow. "Really? Against who?"

"You, you idiot." Steven's sass made Brendan smile. "I'm bored of hitting the bag. Not that I wanna hit you," he quickly added, "but the bag's just there, it's not like a real person who can move and come at me."

Brendan hummed. "You sure you can handle it?"

"Only one way to find out, ain't there?"

"Okay. One, no gloves. I'm not gonna try and hit you, we just try some moves which may help you to get away if someone's coming at you, okay?"

Steven nodded. "Okay."

They climbed on the ring. "Brace yourself with the back leg, just like we have practised. Now, if I come you like this, try to block me with your right arm." Brendan made a slow movement towards Steven, who still had troubles to stay in balance and stop Brendan's arm. "Okay, bit faster now." Brendan repeated the movement and this time he had no trouble of grabbing Steven and spinning him over so he had him on a lose neck hold. "You lose."

"Fuck off." Steven wiggled free. "Do it again."

Brendan managed to catch Steven on the second time too, but on the third Steven blocked and darted sideways, only Brendan was faster again and somehow his arms ended underneath Steven's arm pits. The lad screeched.

"Not fair, it tickles."

Brendan laughed and let go of him. "It's not my fault I can win so easily. Just look at you."

"You saying I'm scrawny?" Steven said, mock offended, and surprised Brendan by lunging on him. Brendan lifted his arms to stop his approach, only Steven used his leg to trip him over. Brendan grabbed his arm and pulled him with him, and they ended up wrestling on the floor, laughing. Steven had the most annoying and weird laugh Brendan had ever heard, like someone was strangling a donkey, and it almost discarded him long enough for Steven to get on top of him, but he got his head back in the game and spun them over, easily over weighing Steven down.

"Do you yield?" He asked, pinning Steven's hands on the ground.

"Yeah." Lad laughed. The way he looked, happy, breathless and spread underneath him was almost too much, so Brendan released his hold and rolled away from him before things would have got too embarrassing. Steven pushed himself on sitting position too, and for a while they just tried to get their breaths back.

"What if none of this works?" Steven asked and looked at Brendan, serious now. "What if I never learn how to... I know I'm not strong enough, so, how can I defend myself?"

"Hitting them on the head with something heavy would do the trick." Brendan said, and Steven let out a laugh. "Seriously, Steven, you shouldn't need to defend yourself, ever. If there's someone in your life who's hurting you, then..."

Steven shook his head. "None of that matters, you know. Shouldn't and wouldn't, it doesn't matter, not in the world I live in."

"I'm sorry."

Steven gave him a puzzled glance. "Why do you care so much?"

Brendan shrugged. Because I wanna fuck you. Because I wanna see you smile. Because I wanna know what it's like when you are happy. "I see a lot of me in you, I guess. Like you are going through same things I did when I was younger."

"Right." Steven played with the lace of his shoe, before looking at the clock on the wall. "Bugger, is that the time?"

It was ten fifteen. Brendan hadn't even noticed. "Got lost with time, didn't we. Better lock this place up."

"I'll help you."

Together they cleaned the place up. While getting changed in the locker room the air was heavy with something unsaid. This time Brendan allowed himself to look when Steven slipped off his shirt and there was something in the way Steven folded it up and showed it in his new gym bag before putting on a fresh one, which told that he didn't mind. And when Brendan was changing his shirt he saw Steven looking at him, unapologetic.

"So, any plans for the rest of the weekend?" Brendan asked while he locked the front door. Steven stood by him on the street and shrugged.

"Dunno. See me mates, maybe. You?"

"My ex is going to let me spend tomorrow with my kids, so that's my Sunday."

"You got kids?" Steven asked surprised.

"Two boys. Only good thing that came from my marriage." He gave Steven a thin smile. "She threw me out when she found out I was screwing her nephew."

"Macca." Steven said slowly and Brendan nodded. "Sorry, it was the things I overheard the other day."

"It's okay." They stood there for a second, in silence. Then Steven sighed, breaking the moment.

"I really need to get going."

"Good night. See you on Tuesday." Brendan got a smile from him, and then the lad spun around and started to rush down the street. Brendan waited for a while, before following him. He knew it was stupid, but his curiosity got better of him, he needed to know.

The street the gym was was on the worse side of the town, and the neighbourhood Steven was heading for was even worse. Houses that looked like they were ready to fall apart and tiny, manky looking corner shops, people on the streets matching the setting. Steven probably knew the streets like the back of his hands, the way he walked forward and hardly looked around.

There was one of the corner shops Steven had just walked past when a man surged out from it, reaching Steven in few fast step, grabbing his shoulder and spinning him around roughly.

"Where the fuck have you been?!" He shouted and Brendan could see Steven dropping his shoulders, like he was trying to make himself smaller. "You were supposed to get me more siggies but you just disappeared, you fucking twat!"

The man was older, hair and short beard going grey, face and body type telling he spent most of his days in the pub or in front of a telly. Brendan could take him down, easy. But Steven looked absolutely horrified, and Brendan knew for sure that was the one who gave him the black eye, and god knows how many before it.

All the hairs behind the back of Brendan's neck were standing. There were times when he would have grinded a piece of shit like that to the ground with no second thought, but now he took a steadying breath before getting closer.

"Is there a problem here?" Brendan walked to them. Steven's face was full of shock, and the man holding on to him squinted at him.

"This is none of your business."

"Steven, is this man bothering you?" Brendan asked. The man threw Steven a filthy look.

"You know this man?"

"Er.. He's me gym instructor." Steven's voice was small.

"'Gym instructor.'" Man spat the word. "That were you been hiding at, when you should've been looking for a real work?"

"I asked is there a problem." Brendan said, trying to stay calm.

"And I said this is none of your business, man talking to his son." Man eyed at him, clearly coming to the conclusion there was no point of challenge him any more. He turned to look at Steven. "Home, now."

"Mind if I just have a word with Steven?" Brendan smiled, revealing his teeth. Man flinched.

"I'll see you there." He said to Steven before walking down the street.

Brendan watched him go. Steven was shaking, staring the ground.

"You shouldn't have said anything. It just made things worse."

"Is there a place you can go, Steven?" Brendan asked. "Instead of going home now, is there a place you could go? Just long enough for him to sober up and forget this happened?"

Brendan would have wanted to take boy to his home, but his sons were coming up the next day, and explaining a random man on his flat would have been awkward. Still, he needed to know Steven wasn't in the same flat with that man tonight.

"I guess I could go to my mate, see if she lets me stay on her couch. But it doesn't matter tho, Terry will get mad about something else later on, he always does." Steven looked defeated, and embarrassed about the situation.

"I couldn't let him hurt you." Brendan tried, but Steven shook his head, like none of it mattered.

"This time. But there will always be the next time. Don't follow me again."

And after saying that he turned around and walked off, on different direction where Terry had gone, leaving Brendan stare after him until he was gone.

::::::

Eileen dropped the boys to Brendan's place the next morning and Brendan tried to focus for them the whole day. But all the time, while kicking a ball in the park and while taking them out for dinner he kept thinking where Steven was, if he was safe or not. He didn't even have the lad's number so he could check up on him. He also worried he had put his foot in, and Steven would be so pissed from the whole situation that he'd never show up in the gym again.

Monday felt like the longest day of his life, and on Tuesday he couldn't wait to get in work and spent the whole evening by glancing at the door, but Steven never showed up. Brendan's insides were twisting and turning, and he was in such a bad mood that all the regulars stayed out of his way. From nine to ten, the time Steven usually came in, there gym was silent, only one guy was in pumping the iron with headphones on so Brendan had his own go with the bunching bag until it was time to lock the place up.

He stepped on the cool, dark street ready lock the door, when one of the shadows near the wall moved.

"Brendan."

"Steven? What are you up to, out here, why didn't you come in?" Brendan watched Steven shuffling closer, slowly. When he reached the light of the nearest street lamp Brendan took a sharp inhale. "Get in. Come on, there's a good lad."

He steered Steven inside, and guided him through the dark gym into the office."Put your bag down and sit there, on the couch." Brendan walked to the other side of the room and got out the first aid kit before returning to Steven and sitting next to him. "Let me take a look of that."

He pushed Steven's hood back as gently as he could. There was lot of blood covering Steven's face, but as he examined the destruction in front of him Brendan felt relieved that most of it seemed to have come from Steven's nose. There was a cut on the bridge of it, and there was still some fresh blood dripping out from the nostrils. There was another cut on his left cheekbone, a bruise on his temple and those beautiful plumb lips of his had been cut open too by a punch, making the other side of his mouth swollen and bruised. Steven sat there silently, gaze down when Brendan gently ran his fingers over his face, but he flinched when Brendan touched his nose.

"I don't think it's broken." Brendan said. He opened the first aid kit and got out disinfector and sprayed it on some cotton pads. "This might sting." He tried to be as gentle as possible, but Steven still whimpered when Brendan started to clean his cuts and wipe out the blood. His heart was on his throat as he worked, and Steven didn't meet his gaze the whole time. He just kept staring somewhere on the ground, and even when his face was swollen and bruised like that Brendan couldn't help but admire the length of his lashes, casting shadows on his cheekbones. Brendan dabbed the nose clean first, then the cut on his cheekbone. When he had lastly done what he could with Steven's mouth he ghosted his thumb over that bottom lip. There was a tear running down from Steven's eye then, and it shook Brendan's core just as much as the damage had done. Before he could think he wiped it off too, held his hand against Steven's cheek and felt the boy relax to the touch.

"Thank you." His voice sounded sore, like he had been screaming or crying a lot.

"It was him, wasn't it?"

Steven sighed and nodded. "I've been staying with Amy and her dad, they let me sleep on their spare room and Amy said I could stay as long as I need. But I didn't have much stuff and I thought I could sneak in and get some while he was out, but he had been staying in, waiting for me." Speaking seemed to hurt him a bit, and he couldn't open his mouth very wide so some of his words were more mumbling than anything else, but he seemed to need to get it out. "He was on me soon as I was in the flat. Asked if I had been staying with me sugar daddy, saying he had always know I was queer but this was the proof, that there was no way anyone would look out for me unless I let them fuck me for protection... " There was another tear but this time Steven wiped it off himself. "At some point he must have though he had killed me, because he just stopped and left the flat. When I could move I tried to get as much stuff as I could and left. I didn't know where else to go." His voice broke down. Brendan had never hated anyone as he hated Terry right now.

"Did he hit you somewhere else?"

"He kicked me when I was on the ground." Steven's voice was small. "I couldn't to anything. None of the things you've been teaching, none of it came into me."

"Hey, hey, listen to me Steven, it wasn't your fault, okay. None of what that bastard did to you is your fault." His blood was boiling, but he tried to keep his voice calm for Steven's sake. "Can you show me where it hurts?"

He helped Steven to stand up and open up his hoodie. He lifted his shirt and there was a massive bruise on his right side. Brendan tested it with his fingertips, and Steven yelped.

"There might be a cracked rib here. You should go to the -"

"No." Steven shook his head and let his shirt fall down, covering the mark. "I don't want to."

"Okay." Brendan helped him to zip up and they sat back down. Steven was looking at Brendan now, his eyes even bluer than usual, and despite his bruises and cuts he was still the prettiest thing Brendan had ever seen. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but things will get better. I swear, one day this all is just a bad memory."

Steven sniffed, looking sceptical. Brendan reached to stroke his cheek again. "I promise."

Steven leaned closer then, trying to kiss him. For a split second Brendan wanted to let him, but he knew if he did he couldn't stop kissing him, and god knows what else, and the boy wasn't on the state for it. He turned his face aside and Steven pulled back.

"I'm sorry." He mumbled.

"Don't apologise. But you are not in fit state, your head is a mess." Brendan wanted it to happen, God he wanted it, but he wanted to be sure Steven wanted him as well, and was not just seeking the comfort. Before the boy could argue Brendan continued. "Are you safe with this Amy?"

Steven nodded, and shifted in his seat, awkward. "Yeah, but I thought, I thought I maybe could... Stay with you."

"No." If Brendan would take him to his place he would have to have him. Steven had been hurt enough without Brendan using his vulnerable state on his advances. "You go to Amy's, let her take care of you, yeah? Listen, I tell you what," he quickly added when Steven looked like Brendan had slapped him. "where's your phone, I'll give you my number." Steven handed it over and Brendan wrote his number down. "Call me, any time, when you need me. Or text me. And you know where to find me, okay?"

"Okay." Steven nodded. He tried a small smile. "I might be sending you some dick pics instead."

"Who says I would mind?" Brendan said, and then cleared his throat and looked aside when Steven's eyes were growing darker. "So, you go to Amy's and get well."

He helped Steven to his feet, and they made a slow walk back to front door. Outside Brendan was tempted to say fuck Amy, and take Steven to his place instead and fuck him until he couldn't feel the soreness from the punches anymore. "Are you sure you are going to be safe?" He asked instead.

"Yeah. Terry won't come there, not when Amy's dad's around. He's a coward, you know."

"I know the type." Brendan said. "You want me to walk with you?"

"No." Steven shook his head. "I mean if you do I'm gonna... It's better if I go alone."

"Okay." At least Brendan wasn't only one feeling the tension pulling between them. "I'll see you later."

"Yeah. And Brendan... Thank you. For looking after me." Steven said quietly. He threw a quick glance towards him like he wanted to say something else too, but just let out a sigh instead and started to waddle on his own direction. The way he moved showed he was in pain still, but hopefully that Amy of his would look after him.

There was storm inside Brendan when he made his way home. Part of him cursed his morale from not taking the opportunity of Steven throwing himself at him. The other part of him couldn't have lived with the idea of Steven not being there in full state of his mind. All Brendan was sure of was that he wanted the lad more than anyone he's ever met before, and his need to hold him and keep him safe from Terry Hay's of the world was overpowering everything else.

His finger hovered over Macca's name on his phone, when he tried to decide should he fuck his frustration away. But the thought make him feel dirty and disgusted, to be using Macca like that, and to be using image of Steven plastered over him. So he put his phone down and went in bed with glass of whiskey instead.

::::::

Steven made Brendan wait two days before texting him.

Thanks again for the other night

And who's this? Brendan knew exactly who it was but wouldn't waste a chance to tease him.

Who d'you think it is yu brick

I don't know, I patch up so many lads during nights, it's hard to keep track...

Haa haa

How are you doing?

Alright. Ames is takin care of me. She's not so gentle thoug as you

I can be rough too

I'd like to see that

Get well soon and maybe you will

And on they went. Ste was texting him what he was doing and Brendan usually replied with something embarrassingly flirty. He felt like a teenager, sending filthy text to his crush. Jesus. Yet he couldn't stop himself.

We'r watching telly some crap show she lkes

See? I was right sending you to her. If you'd be at my place you'd have no time to watch telly from the things I would be doing to you

Mabe I'm doing them with her

Yeah? I'm wasting my time here?

No chance

Warren had noticed Steven was gone. One day, after one of his "clients" had left with a parcel full of little white pills to sell forward, he turned his attention to Brendan.

"Yo Brady. Where's that little runt of yours? You already fucked him and threw him aside?"

"Mind your own business Foxy, and I do the same." Brendan smiled at him. "I might need to give my sister a call, as her how she's doing."

"Fuck off, Brady." Foxy growled. "You know I keep your sister happy."

"God knows how." Brendan let him smile grow wider. "Must be your wallet she loves more than you."

Warren clearly struggled with a comeback and went on another route instead. "And what's with the beard? Finally got bored with the porn tache?"

"Change is good. You should try it." Brendan walked away. To be honest he had no idea why he was letting the beard grow. One morning he was just too bored to shave and it had gone from there. He wondered how Steven would react when he'd saw it.

It took almost two whole weeks before Steven appeared in the gym. It was Saturday, half ten and the last client had made his way out, shouting his goodbyes and Brendan was about to close off bit early, seeing as no one would be getting in that time. He heard the door and turned to look and it was Steven, standing there almost shy and smiling at him.

"You have a beard."

"Hello to you too."

Slowly they walked towards each other, eyeing each other up. Steven looked good, the bruises were almost completely gone and it seemed that Amy had been feeding him well too. He was still skinny as fuck, but there was healthier glow on him which made Brendan wonder how malnourished the lad had been all this time. They stopped, arm length away from each other.

Brendan felt silly of how awkward he was suddenly feeling. They had been flirting like hell these past weeks through texts and now when Steven was there he hardly knew what to say.

"You look good." He said and Steven have a little nod, like he already knew.

"You too. I like the beard."

"Good." He rocked on his heels. "Place been quiet without you."

"Yeah, cause I'm your best non paying customer." Steven laughed. "Maybe I start coming in again, then."

"You better hurry then, as your free trial ends on Tuesday." Brendan tilted his head. "Unless I can interest you to a new kinda deal."

"You might, yeah." Steven slid a bit closer. Brendan could catch his scent and realised how much he had been missing it. Then the cocky exterior faltered a bit, when Steven said, more quietly "I have been missing you."

"I've been missing you too." Brendan heard himself saying. Steven looked at him underneath his long lashes, shy.

"If I'd try to kiss you know, would you stop me?"

"You know why I did the last time."

"I do. And it was dead nice of you to look out for me like that, but I didn't want to do it because I was beaten up, right, or because my head was a mess. I came in here, I wanted to kiss you, because of the way you..." Brendan held his breath when he listened what Steven was saying. "The way you make me feel safe."

Brendan cradled his face then, and kissed him, and kissed him, and kissed him.

::::::

The lights on Brendan's flat were on this time. He could hardly remember how they made the trip from the gym to there, when he was half hard on his pants the whole time, having to stop every now and then to kiss Steven, not caring about other people on the street, the cars passing them. They had undressed soon as they got in, scrambling, shaking hands, kissing in the between.

Brendan was pleased of the surprised gasp from Steven when he had dropped his boxers, the way Steven had looked at him, his eyes full of mixture of fear and arousal.

You ever done anything, Steven? Brendan had asked in one of their texts, imagining the boy blush while writing his reply.

Not with another bloke

Don't worry. I'll show you

What?

Everything.

And now he was there, spread on his bed, breathing hard, sighing, gasping when Brendan kissed and licked his whole body. The bones on his wrists, the ones on his hips, biting the tattoo he had on there. His tiny, perfect nipples, the goosebumps that rose on his chest while Brendan sucked both of them hard. His dick fitted in Brendan's hand like it was meant for it, and when Brendan gave it a few stroke while kissing him Steven's moans echoed on Brendan's mouth.

Brendan got out condoms and the lube, pouring generous amounts on his hand before returning to play with Ste's dick. Boy arched off the bed, grasping the sheets, throwing his arms around Brendan's shoulders, clearly not knowing what to do with his limbs. Brendan eased his touch to give him a breather, and not to make him come too soon.

"Alright?" He asked and Steven pulled his head down for another kiss. Then he reached down to touch his own dick to get some lube on his hand, and then touched Brendan's cock with it. Tentatively first, and seeing Brendan's reactions his touch grew more sure. He was a fast learner for sure. Brendan slid his own hand over Steven's balls to his hole, and started to massage around it. Steven's hand started to get uncoordinated and his eyes flutter shut, and when Brendan finally pushed a tip of a finger in there was a surprised gasp from him. Brendan kept playing with one finger first, slowly, gently, and when the frown eased from Steven's face and he relaxed against his hand Brendan slipped another one in. By the time he added the third one Steven's hand had gone slack on Brendan's dick, his eyes were rolling and dick leaking pre-cum against his belly.

Brendan pulled his fingers out. "Yeah?" He asked.

"Yeah." Steven swallowed as he watched Brendan roll on a condom, lubing the head and placing it against his entrance.

He tried to be as gentle as he could while pushing in, watching every expression on Steven's face. It clearly hurt, he was squinting his eyes shut and his mouth turned into and 'o', breath puffing out from him. Brendan tried not to move, keeping his weigh on his arms when he looked down on Steven. He leaned down to kiss the side of his cheek.

"Are you alright?" He could hardly recognise his own voice, the way it was heavy with feelings he was having.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm just..." Steven breathed out again, and Brendan could feel him move his pelvis a bit, tilting it to change the position. He relaxed underneath him, and opened his eyes to look at him. "Brendan."

It was all good then. Steven's arms and legs around him, pulling him closer, not caring about getting crushed. His face filled with expressions, pain, pleasure, need, relief. The sound he made seemed to go straight to Brendan's balls, and somewhere deeper too, filling his soul. And the way Steven kept looking at him made him feel powerful and vulnerable at the same time.

Brendan had never considered himself a sentimental guy, but things he felt while inside Steven were all new, like this was his first time too. And when Steven slid his right hand between them to grab himself, and his noises rose up when he came, trembling and crying out, it forced Brendan's orgasm out from him, like they were one being finally reunited.

He blamed the lack of sex from these soppy thoughts, when his brain was clearer from the sex haze. But Steven was there by his side, and Brendan couldn't stop touching him or kissing him, and what the hell was that? This was the part where he usually told the lads to leave, even Macca.

Steven draped his arm and leg over him, like he knew Brendan would never tell him to go.

::::::

They hardly left the bed for the next 24 hours, and ventured outside only once to get more condoms and some take away. Other than that they were fucking, or just laying and kissing, sleeping in between, limbs tangled together.

They talked, this and that, bits and pieces, random things and facts about each other. Steven smiled, all the time, even when Brendan was fucking him there was that flicker of it on his face until the pleasure took over and all the could to was cry out. If he was sore from the sex it didn't seem to bother him, and Brendan had hard time believing Steven had been a virgin just few hours before. The way he took his pleasure, the way he wanted Brendan to give it to him, surprised him. The lads he had been with before had wanted him, Macca had been unhealthily needy of him, but not like this. Steven was like the pleasure belonged to him, and Brendan was happy to give it to him.

And afterwards when they laid side by side, Brendan stroked his cheek or rubbed his ear and Steven closed his eyes, enjoying those simple touches as much as Brendan enjoyed doing them. Seeing that peace on Steven's face brought by the hands that had done so much bad, it felt like a reward.

Brendan wondered was this what being in love felt like.

::::::

The second night, in the dark, Brendan was aware Steven was awake next to him.

"Who do you see when you hit the punching bag?"

"My dad."

Steven didn't ask anything else, just leaned closer to kiss him. He knew what it was like.

::::::

"You have nothing in your cupboards." Monday noon, Steven rummaging the flat, looking something to eat. Brendan was laying still in bed, watching him.

"I eat out, or order take away. Who has the energy to cook?"

"I do." Steven pulled out a loaf of bread, sniffed it and it passed the test as he started to cut slices from it. "Do you even have eggs?"

"I don't think so. Come on, leave it, lets take a shower."

"No, I'm starving." Steven smiled at him. "You take a shower, I run to the shop to get something, where are your keys?"

"Are you going like that?" Brendan asked, as Steven was wearing only his shirt and nothing else. Steven blushed.

"I'm gonna get dressed first, you git."

"Shame." Brendan yawned. "You sure you want to miss this in a shower?" He pushed the blanket aside revealing his cock. Steven smile grew wider.

"I'll always have room for dessert, don't I." He pulled on his trackies and trainers.

"You gonna go on commando? And wearing my shirt?" Brendan eyed the boy up and down.

"Go and get your shower. I'll be back soon." Steven grabbed his wallet and Brendan's keys from the counter and was out from the flat before Brendan had chance to say anything else.

He did as Steven suggested, and true enough, when he stepped out from his small bathroom Steven was already back and boiling eggs and toasting the bread for them. There were also some sort of herbs on Brendan's table as well as tomatoes.

"Who taught you to do all this?" Brendan went to give him a kiss for the cheek. Steven wiggled.

"Wet beard. And excuse me, but this is probably the most basic thing you can do. But I used to take some cooking lessons from me mate Tony, and he said I should apply for a cooking school and such, but Terry saw it as a waste of time and money so..." His voice faded away. "Anyway. Anyone should know how to boil an egg. Brendan, what are you doing?"

Brendan had wrapped his arms around Steven's waist, and just held him for a second before letting go. Steven gave him a soft smile, before returning to the food.

"Oh and guess who I saw at the store? Or like outside of it, just hanging around like he was waiting for something. Macca. Yeah, he gave me this look, but I'm not sure can he remember me as we only met like, once, and that was me peeking in while you were having your argument so." Brendan got almost breathless from just listening Steven's chatter, and when he mentioned Macca there was cold shiver inside him. It seemed like the light bulp moment for Steven. "Was he... was he waiting for you?"

"Haven't seen him in days, weeks even." Brendan walked to his phone and checked it. Fuck. Eight missed calls and bunch of texts which he deleted without looking at them. "He doesn't seem to get the message that I don't want to see him."

Steven was spreading butter on the toast, focusing. "Have you told him it's over? Cause otherwise he'll just keep harassing you. Or, I don't even know if it is over, and this is just... I'm sorry, I'm rambling."

"Steven. Look at me." Their eyes met. "I'm not with him. I've never been with him. I'm gonna tell him that what ever arrangement we had, it's over now. For good. Okay?"

It was practically nothing. He was just telling Steven what he already knew, that Brendan wasn't fucking Macca while he was fucking Steven, and he never would. It wasn't a marriage proposal, or statement of how he felt or asking Steven to go steady, yet it was like light was flicked on inside the lad when he smiled Brendan like he had just given him something big.

"Here." He handed Brendan a plate full of toasted bread, covered with some sort of self made herb butter, tomatoes and boiled egg. "Eat up. I want my dessert soon."

::::::

Tuesday.

"I don't want you to go to work."

"You think I wouldn't much rather stay here? But I have to. I have actual paying customers I need to tend to, so."

"Not handing out more free trials then, eh?" Steven asked, smiling. They were laying on their sides, facing each other.

"Only for the pretty boys." Brendan said and Steven pushed his chest playfully, before stroking the hair there.

"I guess I should go back to Amy's, then."

"Or you could stay here." Brendan suggested. Steven took a breath.

"You mean that?"

"I have a spare key." Brendan said awkwardly. "You could go out and what ever, and still get back in before I get off. If you wanna."

Steven's smile was massive. "I could want that. Ta. But I still need to pop into Ames tho, to get more clean clothes. I can't wear yours forever."

"S'not my fault you're so skinny they all hang loose on ya." Brendan quite liked that.

"So, I could go there while you're at work and then when you get off I'd be..."

"Here, waiting me like some housewife." Brendan joked, as what this was turning into felt too unreal. He had a flash of realisation, that this was the life Macca had imagined for the; him, in Brendan's flat, waiting him to get home, feeding him, taking care of him, and Brendan looking after him in other ways. Only Brendan never wanted it when it was Macca; Now when it was Steven it was all he could have ever wished for.

:::::

Friday night Steven came to see Brendan at work. He walked in casually, waving a hello to Rhys who was just on his way to get changed, and once he was out of sight Steven walked to Brendan who was washing out the rowing machine.

"Hey you." Brendan said. "What are you doing here?"

"I was bored so I came to see you. I used to spend all my evenings here, remember, before my membership ran out." Steven grinned.

"I can give you a new one, if you want." Brendan suggested, but Steven shook his head.

"It was to get help to deal with Terry but as he's not a problem anymore..." Steven's expression clouded for a second, remembering the man causing him all that trouble, but he quickly brushed it off and smiled. "Besides, I'm getting me cardio at yours, don't I?"

"Glad to be in service." Brendan said. He was just about to lean in for a kiss but the Rhys was out from the lockers and walked past them on his way out.

"Alright Ste? Haven't seen you in a while."

"Good, yeah. Decided it wasn't for me after all. Just in for some last minute tips from me coach."

"Yeah, milk it all you can, Brendan's the best." Rhys said his goodbyes and was out, leaving Steven and Brendan alone in the gym.

"Hear that?" Brendan took the opportunity and pulled Steven closer. "I'm the best."

"Mmh, maybe." Steven was being cheeky. "You could prove it, just to make sure. Come on, lock up so we can get home and you can show just how good you are."

"Why wait. We have the place to ourselves." Brendan rubbed his beard against Steven's cheek and felt him shiver in his arms.

"Here? Aren't there cameras or something?"

Brendan laughed. "Foxy ain't having none of those in here, there's too much sneaky business going on for him to risk anyone catching it. We're perfectly private in here."

"Okay." Steven pulled him for a hot kiss. "The office?" He asked once they separated.

"I have a better idea." Brendan grabbed his arm and walked him to Warren's desk near the door. "Imagine how he would flip out if he'd ever learn what we have been doing on this precious place of his..."

"That's so mean." Steven grinned. "I couldn't ever walk in and see him sitting behind here, without thinking me laying here, while you have your ways with me..."

Brendan stroked his arm down Steven's back to his bum and gave it a squeeze. "I know. It would be truly awful. So drop your pants and hop on."

::::::

Their conversations drifted to more serious directions during the nights, after they had fucked and laid in the darkness, Steven's head on Brendan's arm or on his chest, or Brendan spooning him from behind, face buried on his neck. It was easier to talk when they couldn't see each other, only feel every breath, every tension and relaxation in their bodies when they shared things they hadn't known before.

Steven told him about the abuse, how Terry Hay had made his life a misery since he got together with his mum. How he wasn't his real father despite giving Steven his name, and how he somehow had used that excuse to beat the living shit out of him from tiniest mistakes. Steven told him about the troubles he had in school, the minor crimes he had done to get through, to get some money in his pockets in hopes of saving enough to get away from Terry but never seemed to succeed. Nicking cars, robbing people's homes, picking pockets. Terry always found out one way or another, took his savings and ordered the lad to get some more. He wasn't too shy from criminal life either, Brendan gathered, some minor dealing, arranging bets, what ever. Main thing was that Terry was a scum and Brendan needed to keep Steven away from him.

Brendan found himself talking too, telling Steven things he hadn't shared with many people, if any. His career as a boxer in Ireland, working for Danny Houston, climbing in a ring with another man and the game wasn't over until other man didn't get up again. How Eileen had never asked about the cuts and bruises but had taken the money with silent judgement, spending it on pretty clothes and to their boys. The arguments they had when Brendan told her he quit and would move to England after his sister, how he had secretly hoped that would be the end of them, but after long rows she had said her and the boys would come too, because that's what a good catholic wife was supposed to say.

He didn't tell the details of what had happened in the ring, and Steven didn't ask. Somehow he seemed to know enough anyway, but it didn't scare him away; Instead every night he spent in Brendan's bed made him think boy was some kind of miracle, the way he pulled Brendan on top of him, like Brendan was worth of something so beautiful.

::::::

"Warren, one of your 'clients' had left this shit laying around in the toilets." Brendan threw a dodgy looking zip bag on Warren's desk.

He quickly grabbed it and showed in his pockets. "Bit louder, Brady, I guess the granny at the end of the road didn't quite catch that."

"You are getting sloppy, Foxy, that's all I'm saying. This little cover up of yours, it's not gonna work much longer. Your clientele isn't the most trust worthy one, one of these days they gonna take you down with them." Brendan took one of the papers from the shelf and waved it front of Warren. "See this, the actual member list? No new names for two weeks. And Andy just quit the other day. No one wants to put their feet in this shit hole, there's not enough people coming in to make this look like anything else than the drug cave this is."

Warren leaned back in his chair, looking him curiously. "What's up with you? This never bothered you before, you knew exactly what you got into."

"Maybe I'm bored of watching this place crumble down."

"Hmmh." Warren grinned. "It's that little runt of yours, isn't it? That rat boy you couldn't keep your eyes off. I know you two been keeping at it outside this place. Don't tell me he's gonna make a honest man out of you? Shame, knowing what kind of dog you were back in the day when Danny had you in his leash... I've heard he never had a fighter like you since you walked away." He gave a dramatic sigh. "Anyways, you don't have to worry about this place much longer. I'm gonna get rid of this soon and move on the better grounds, you can do what ever the fuck you want after that."

Brendan tried to remain calm, not let Warren's words tip him off. "Yeah? What's the next big step on you, Foxy, another shit hole in another shitty place?"

"On the contrary." Warren looked mighty pleased with himself. "It seems your beloved sister is bored with this long distance thing. And she is eyeing a nice little club on her town, but she needs a business partner for that... Well I have the money she needs, and busy club is the perfect place for me to keep up with my side projects."

"You keep your stuff away from my sister!" Brendan growled. Warren laughed.

"Bark all you want, Brady, I know you ain't as clean as you pretend to be. You know what, we could be proper partners. Just imagine the money. And that little Ste of yours, he knows the street judging the look of him, he would know just where to reach the people I'm after. He would make a great dealer, that one."

"Stay away from Steven." Brendan said. "And stay away from Cheryl."

Warren laughed again and returned to his magazines like Brendan's threats meant nothing. Brendan walked away, trying to imagine the best way to get rid of him.

::::::

Tuesday, before Brendan was supposed to leave to work they were on a market buying some food. Brendan stood there with a basket while Steven was loading it with some groceries, chatting away, telling all the recipes things could be used for and planning out their meals for the week. Brendan was aware he had smile plastered on his face while he listened the boy going on, hardly taking in anything he was saying, just admiring how happy and well Steven was looking.

"Brendan? Hi."

He saw Steven's expression to drop and when he spun over it was Macca, standing there awkwardly with a can of coke. This grocery store was way off from the area Macca lived, so Brendan couldn't help but thinking had he been lurking near by just in hopes to running into him.

"Macca." Brendan nodded. "How you been?"

"Erm, yeah, great." Macca's eyes moved between Brendan and Steven. "Sorry, have we met?"

"Um, yeah, kinda. In the gym. I'm Ste." Steven reached his hand out and Macca quickly squeezed it. Neither of them did a good job hiding their discomfort or jealousy.

"Okay, well, it was nice to run into you." Brendan said, trying to move him along. "I'll call you, yeah? Good lad." He turned back to Steven and steered him forward.

"I thought you ended it up with him." Steven whispered.

"I've been busy." Brendan grunted. "I'm either balls deep in you or at work, there's not been any good moment."

"Right." Steven's good mood was gone. They finished rest of the shopping almost silently and there was a frown and a pout on Steven's face all the while. Brendan couldn't wait to get home and fuck those away.

"Bugger, I forgot the milk." Steven groaned when they stepped out the store. "Here, hold these bags, I'm gonna go and get it."

"Don't get stuck in a pesto section or what ever." Brendan said. "We got enough stuff as it is."

"Shut up." Steven's pout was replaced by a smile for a second before he disappeared back inside the store.

Brendan stood there watching the crowd walking on the street, when he was suddenly aware someone had appeared next to him, and it was Macca again, looking at him nervously.

"Hi. Again. I.. I didn't want to ask in front of Ste -"

"Steven."

"-but, um, why haven't you answered my calls?"

Brendan swallowed. This wasn't how he wanted to do this.

"Listen, Macca. I've... What ever this has been, this thing between us, it's... It's over, okay. Over. I'm not gonna call you again, and I'm sorry for this past year and how it's been, but... It's over."

Macca's expression was blank. "What?"

"Yeah, so."

"Do you have any idea what I have lost for you? I lost my family because I was sleeping with you. I have been staying at home night after night hoping you'd call. I even got a job offer back from Ireland and I didn't take it because I thought... I thought you needed me." Macca's voice was getting higher by every word. Brendan tried to shush him.

"I'm sorry, okay, but I never asked you... I never asked you to give your life up for me."

"You said you weren't ready to be out like that, and now you're having groceries with that, that other lad, oh god I remember it now, I saw him, I saw him in that corner shop next to your place, and he was wearing your shirt wasn't he? Why is it okay for you to be with him when you couldn't be with me? Brendan, you can't do this to me, I love you!"

Steven had got out from the store and stood by the steps holding a carton of milk, eyes wide as he watched Macca crying now and Brendan standing there awkwardly.

"I said I was sorry!" Brendan was getting frustrated now. People were watching. "I never felt that way for you."

Macca had spotted Steven and he looked at him like he was something disgusting. "You think you are special now, don't you, that you are somehow better than me because you're in his bed now, but just you wait until he gets his eyes on another one when you get older, he'll trade you for a younger model before you know it. Just you wait and see. He can't love, he'll just use you until there's nothing left of you to take and then he throws you aside. I should know." He threw a one last look to Brendan, full of bitterness. Then he stormed off, pushing past people who had stopped to stare his outburst.

Despite the sounds of the street everything felt silent.

Slowly Steven walked down the steps, crossed the space to Brendan's side. He didn't look at him though. "I got the milk." He said, quiet.

"Yeah, yeah, good. Let's get going then, shall we? Good."

They made the way back to Brendan's place in silence. Brendan was shocked by Macca's reactions. He hadn't even considered it would get like this, he had know he would be upset but never expected this. It was been just sex, right? Only now he started to realise it hadn't been just sex to Macca.

Brendan watched as Steven put the groceries away, filling the half empty fridge and empty cupboards with stuff Brendan had never thought he would be needing. Steven worked steady and fast, but Brendan saw the tension in him.

"You alright?"

Steven put the last tin in the cupboard and closed the door, before turning to face him. His gaze was still down and he played with the sleeve of his hoodie.

"How many has there been before me?"

"What?"

"I'm not judging, okay, but I know I'm not the first, and clearly Macca is not the first so... I just... I just wonder how long this will last."

"What do you mean?"

Steven looked up at him then, and there was more pain in his eyes now than there had been while his face had been busted by Terry. "I know when things are too good they always are, right. I'm not stupid. I know things wont last. So I'm just wanting to know, how long before I'm like Macca, when you stop answering my calls and wont see me and then I spot you on a bloody grocery store with a younger lad. I need to know, so I can... I can prepare."

Brendan was getting annoyed now. Was this how Steven saw him? After everything he just saw Brendan as someone who'd use him like everyone else did, and threw him aside once he had had his fun.

"I never promised you anything." His voice sounded cold and cruel even to his own ears. Steven flinched like he had hit him. "This thing, we never made any deals how this is gonna work. It does, until it doesn't. That how long depends purely on you." To me, this is forever. But instead saying it aloud, to show how vulnerable Steven made him, he turned mean instead, to make himself look stronger than he felt. "You get just as much out from this, eh, roof on top of your head, food in your belly, looks like you got a very nice deal."

Steven gasped and when he spoke his voice was broken like he was holding back tears. "You say I'm using you? You think I... I sleep with you, not because I love you but because I need a place to stay? Fuck you!"

"I need to get to work." Brendan grunted.

"Don't, don't you walk away now, we aren't finished yet!" Steven walked after him when Brendan grabbed his bag and headed for the door.

"Aren't we?" Brendan asked and slammed the door closed after him.

No one dared to approach him at work. Even Warren had one look at his face, and shut his mouth and kept himself busy before he fucked off. Everyone's reactions reminded Brendan how people used to be afraid of him while he was still working with Danny, his reputation moving in front of him, making people whisper behind their hands how Brendan was the devil himself in the ring.

Seeing as no one wanted to train with him Brendan put on his gloves and beat the shit out of the punching bag. The image of his father always there, sneering at him, making him the man he was today, unable to show his feelings, messing the one good thing in his life that he had.

He let out a gasp when he realised what Steven had said to him in the middle of the argument. I love you. Broken, desperate, despite the way Brendan had hurt him with his accusations. I love you.

Brady, you fucking idiot.

"Everybody out!" He shouted, startling the few guys left doing their training. "I SAID OUT!"

It was only half nine but Brendan didn't care. He rushed the guys off "family emergency" he mumbled, locked the place up hastily and ran all the way back to his flat.

"Steven? Steven!" It was impossible the lad was hiding somewhere, as there were no place to hide in the small flat. Still he checked the bathroom, the closet. No sign of Steven nor his belongings.

On the kitchen counter he had left Brendan's spare key.

::::::

Twelve calls going straight to voice mail. "Steven, please call me."

He didn't.

::::::

Two days in and still no word from Steven. Brendan paced around the gym like animal going mad. Rhys tried to ask him was he okay but soon retreated when Brendan gave him a manic laughter as a reply. After he got off he wondered to the streets of Steven's neighbourhood, hoping one of the skinny lads walking around in hoodies and trackies were him. None of them were.

When he finally got home in early hours of the morning he laid awake in the bed he had shared with Steven, breathing his disappearing scent from the pillow.

::::::

Steven, I love you. Please come home.

::::::

"Brady, what ever you are doing you need to snap out from it." Warren barked on Thursday when Brendan got it, half an hour late. "I got in this morning and the alarm was off, you need to get your head in the game."

"Like there was nothing to steal in here, anyway." Brendan grunted. There was truth on Warren's words though. He couldn't give a fuck about cleaning after himself, nor focus enough to remember had he put the bloody alarm on or not.

And it didn't seem Warren was any better of remembering things himself. After he had gone Brendan went to fetch a sheet of paper from the front desk and on the top drawer there were more of those zip bags. Maybe one of his clients hadn't come to pick them up, or maybe Warren had forgotten to move them. Brendan slipped them into his pocket and later hid them in one the couch pillows.

::::::

The fresh fruits Steven had bough for them started to rot on Brendan's kitchen counter.

::::::

On Sunday Brendan had cancelled seeing his sons. It pained him, as Eileen had been hinting she would be moving back to Ireland soon with the boys, as she had no reason to stay in England anymore, but Brendan knew he was in no state of seeing them. Instead he spent the day walking around the direction he knew Amy lived, only he had no idea what she looked like or where exactly she lived, but he hoped for the miracle of seeing Steven crossing a street or entering a corner shop. Once he though he had seen him disappearing behind a street corner, and he ran there but it was some other lad, with startled brown eyes when Brendan spun him around. He made his excuses and left.

Around midnight he was back at his flat. He was starting to lose hope of ever finding Steven again. Brendan rested his head against Steven's pillow and closed his eyes.

He was woken up by rattling of his phone when it buzzed on the nightstand.

Steven.

"Steven?" He answered, gasping the name fast like the boy would hang up soon as he heard him answer, "Steven is that you?"

A sniff. "I... I've done something and I... Bren I... I need you."

"It's okay, it's okay." Brendan was wide awake now. "Where are you?"

"At the gym." Barely a whisper.

"I'm coming."

He ran all the way there. There were hardly any people out, and the street where the gym were was always dead quiet so there was no one around when he got there. There were no lights visible from the inside, but when Brendan went to unlock the door it was already open.

He stepped inside the dark gym. "Steven?"

"Bren."

He was curled in a ball in one of the corners. Brendan rushed to him and dropped to his knees, took him into his arms. It was too dark to see Steven properly but the way he fitted in Brendan's hold was familiar, like the scent of him, the sounds of his breaths when he cried against Brendan's chest. Brendan cradled him and shushed him, until Steven calmed down enough to speak.

"What is it baby, what's happened? It's alright now, I'm here."

"I.. I hit him. I panicked and that's what I remembered, you saying it, hitting them with something hard, and I did and I think I killed him." Steven's voice broke down again.

"Shh, shh. Killed who? Steven, who did you hit?"

"Terry." Steven pulled away a bit and Brendan saw the shadow of his arm when he pointed to the other side of the room.

Brendan had to let go of him, and he slowly walked to the light switch and put on the one illuminating the ring. It was low light in the middle of the room, but it was enough to see what was going on.

First he looked Steven, who was still sitting in the ground, tears and snot running down his face. There was a fresh bruise on his cheek but otherwise he seemed unharmed physically, but he was shaking and looked like he was going to puke.

Brendan looked the direction he had been pointing before. There was a body laying in the ground, and a dumbbell next to it. Jesus.

He slowly walked closer to see. There was blood on Terry's head and on the ground. He crouched down and checked his pulse. He then got up and slowly walked back to Steven, knelt in front of him and held his face.

"He's not dead."

"What?" Steven sniffed.

"You didn't kill him. He's not dead. Yet."

Steven took a sharp breath of relief, before his face clouded. "What do you mean yet? Do you think he still gonna..."

"I don't know. If we call an ambulance now, he still might make it. But listen, listen," he continued when Steven opened his mouth, "If we do call the ambulance, how do you think it will look? You two here, in the middle of the night, him half dead after you hit him in the head with a dumbbell. Steven, they are going to put you away for that."

Steven whimpered and rocked back and forth. "I didn't mean to, I didn't, I can't go to jail, I can't."

Brendan took him in his arms again. "And you won't go. Okay, listen to me. You didn't kill him. Say I did. Say I take the blame and I'll be the one they arrest and -"

"NO." Steven clung on to him. "No. Don't. It's even worse, I won't let you, I can't lose you, Brendan please, I can't lose you."

"Okay. Okay." Brendan held him tighter. He was thinking as fast as he could. There was an idea forming in the back of his head, but he wasn't sure would it work. "Steven, do you trust me?"

"Of course I do." Steven looked at him and there was no doubt in his eyes.

"Listen to me. You need to leave. You go to my place, yeah, you get in, you get rid of these clothes, take a shower, a long one, clean yourself properly, and you stay in until I get back."

"What are you going to do?" Steven asked.

"What I need to." Brendan cradled his head. "Steven, what ever I said before, I'm sorry, I didn't mean any of them. What ever happens I need you to know that I love you."

"I love you too." Then he swallowed. "Are you going to kill him?"

"Steven..."

"Have you ever done it before?"

"Would you still love me if I had?"

Without a doubt. "Yes. Brendan. I love you. And I need you to promise, promise me you'll come back to me, promise or I won't go and I'll call the cops myself."

"I promise. Trust me. Now, you need to go."

He helped Steven stand up and handed him the key to his flat. Steven took it, and the he surged up and kissed him, long and deep. Then he picked up his back bag which had been laying on the ground and Brendan walked him to the front door. They made sure no one was around before Steven slipped out and disappeared in to the night.

Brendan turned to face Terry's emotionless body and got to work.

::::::

He knocked his flat's door.

"Who's there?" Steven's voice came through the door, low.

"It's me."

The lock rattled and then the door opened, and soon as Brendan was in Steven was in his arms. His hair was wet and he smelled fresh and clean, and he was only wearing one of Brendan's T-shirts. Brendan held him as tight as he dared. Taking him in with all of his senses.

After a while Steven pulled back. "Are you alright? What did you do?"

"Sit down. We need to talk." They sat on the edge of the bed. Brendan reached for his pocket, pulled out an envelope and handed it to Steven. "Here's some cash and an address. My sisters, he lives in a small village few hours north. Tomorrow you gonna take the first bus to Hollyoaks, and go to her, tell her I sent you and she'll look after you."

"No, what about you?" Steven shook his head. "You gonna come with me, right?"

"I need to stay or it will be too suspicious. I'm gonna handle everything, I said I would, but you need to get away. Has anyone seen you these past days, anyone who knows who you are?"

Steven shook his head slowly. "No. Since I left here, I stayed with Amy for few nights and then... You forgot to lock the toilet window, in the gym. So I have been sleeping there, after you were gone."

"Jesus, seriously?" The window was so narrow Brendan hadn't even considered someone would fit in there. But of course skinny bitch like Steven would wiggle his way through.

"Yeah. I told you, remember, I used to sneak in people's flats to steal stuff so it wasn't that hard to get in. And I have seen you lock down so many times, I remembered the code to shut down the alarm and all. But Terry, he... he must have been looking for me. I don't know how he knew where I was, but he came knocking, shouting he knew I was in and if I didn't let him there he would call the cops and say I was trespassing. When I opened the door he tried to catch me straight away, but I ran, and he came after me, and when he caught me I just reached the first thing that came to my hand and hit him with it."

Brendan stroked his cheek where the bruise was. Last one Steven would ever get from that man. "So, you text your Amy, say you've been in Hollyoaks for these past days, yeah? And if anyone comes asking, that's where you've been, this whole time."

He waited until Steven nodded. "Will you come too, when you can?"

"When I can, yeah. I need to make it look like something I had planned all along, and not like I'm running. And tomorrow morning, when the police come knocking, they can't find you here."

"Did you kill him?"

Brendan closed his eyes. "Yes."

The silence lasted few heart beats. Then he felt Steven's fingers, gently running through his beard. "Thank you."

Brendan opened his eyes and looked at him. Steven was crying, but there was relief in his face, and something else. Brendan allowed himself to imagine it was love.

"No one has ever done anything for me, even me own mum, she let that, that bastard beat me up. No one has ever loved me enough to put themselves in harms way to protect me."

"Are you not scared of me?" Brendan asked. Steven smiled behind his tears.

"No. I just love you."

"Come here." Brendan crushed him against his chest. Even if he was lying, Brendan took it, he took this moment when he believed that someone like Steven could love a murdered like him.

He took a shower while Steven took his clothes to the bin on the other side of the block. Then they just lied in bed, breathing, trying to rest these few hours they had.

Steven's hand slid down from Brendan's chest to his groin, and grabbed his dick.

"Steven..."

The boy shifted downwards, took a better hold of him and with his fist and his mouth got him ready. It didn't take much, with the time Brendan had been missing him, and the talent Steven had. Then the boy reached for a condom and rolled it on him, squirted on some lube and straddled him. He was still only wearing Brendan's T-shirt and he rubbed himself over Brendan's dick, before feeding it into his hole, opening himself with it.

Brendan held his hips while Steven fucked himself on his cock. When he came with a cry his cum spurted on Brendan's chest. Brendan was still hard, and in him, and Steven slid his finger inside Brendan's mouth.

"Bite me." He said, voice low from sex. "Mark me so I can have you with me when I go."

Brendan rolled them so Steven was on his back, and slowly pulled out from him. Stripped the T-shirt away from him, sucked and licked his right nipple before biting down on it, sucking until he had created a mark. He inched downwards and did it again to Steven's belly, to his thighs, covered him with his love. He flipped the boy on to his belly and bit down hard on both of his bum cheeks, before entering him again. By the time he came Steven was hard again, and Brendan sucked him off.

When they laid tangled together Steven dipped his head down and bit on Brendan's chest, just above his nipple, sucked and sucked until he was pleased with the dark mark left against his place skin.

"Now I'm with you too."

You always are, he wanted to say, but it would have been too soppy. So he just pulled the boy in for another kiss.

::::::

Morning early light crept on the flat when Steven stood by the door with his bag.

"You better come and find me, you hear? If I hear even a peep that you have taken the blame, that something has happened and you're going to jail, I'm coming back and telling everyone it was me."

"It will be alright." Brendan said. "Just go."

"Promise me."

"I promise." He took a hold of Steven's face and kissed his forehead. He tried to believe this wasn't the last time he saw him, that Steven wouldn't suddenly realise what kind of man Brendan was and that he was not worth of waiting for. With the money he had given him Steven would get much further than just Hollyoaks and Brendan wanted him to have that chance if it was what he wanted. "I love you."

"I love you too." Steven pulled away and went.

::::::

Few hours later the police came knocking.

Brendan opened the door, wearing only his boxers and dressing gown.

"Mister Brady?" The older one asked.

"Yup. How can I help you gentlemen?"

"We came to ask about your whereabouts from last night."

"Why so?"

"There has been an accident in your workplace so we just need to rule out that you weren't there."

"What kind of accident?" Brendan asked, concerned.

The officer pulled out his pad and a pen. "Do you mind if we step in for a moment?"

"By all means, please." Brendan let them in. "Now, how I can I assist you?"

"Where were you last night between eleven pm and three am?"

"Here. I was home. At least around midnight or so. Didn't watch the clock, did I." He smiled.

"Were you alone?"

"Nope, I got lucky." He kept on smiling. The younger officer was walking around the small place, his eyes stopping on the unmade bed and the used condom on the floor.

"And can she confirm you were with her the whole night?" The older officer kept writing things down.

"He could, yes, if I'd remember his name." Brendan grinned as he saw how the men got uncomfortable. "Shame he didn't leave his number, he left quite the impression." He made sure the officers could see the fresh mark on his chest. The polices exchanged a look and the older one closed his pad.

"If you happen to get your memory back, please let us know. This is all from now, thank you for your co-operation."

"No problem at all. Tell me, what has happened? Has the place been robbed?"

The officers exchanged a look again. The older one cleared his throat. "There was a body inside, but we haven't identified them yet."

"Really? Oh God."

"Unfortunately we have no more information for you." The officers made their leave. "Thank you again, we contact you if we have more to ask."

"By all means, please." Brendan watched as the pair disappeared for the hallway. He closed the door and leaned against it. So far so good.

::::::

Mad Brady, they had called him, when he had punched teeth out from mouths of men, broken their noses, cracked their ribs. The things he did for Danny outside the ring too, when someone owed him and hadn't paid, Brendan paid them a visit. Usually just his reputation did the trick. If not... he had his ways to make men pay.

He had done it all for money. Not feeling guilty over it, not thinking twice the damages he had caused. When he got in the ring, no matter who had been his opponent, Brendan had seen his father in his place. Every bone he broke, they were his fathers. Until one day the man hadn't got up anymore, and they had to get three men to pull Brendan away from him. Broken neck wasn't part of the plan.

Horrible things, these hands had done, for money.

When he had knelt next to Terry, heard his heavy, difficult breathing, it hadn't been hard to cover his nose and mouth with these hands, make sure he died through his touch to take the blame out from Steven's. Not the first horrible thing he had done, but for the first time it was made for love.

He had made sure to clean the dumbbell the best he could. The little zip bags of drugs, hidden in the couch, made their way in Terry's pockets instead. Brendan tried to think the other places Steven might have left his fingerprints or other signs he had been there. But after all it was a gym, and the police would find tons of fingerprints everywhere, Warren's, Brendan's, Rhys's, other clients. Brendan hoped there would be enough coverage everywhere to keep Steven safe. Maybe, knowing the reputation of the place and the man laying dead on the ground, the police would see it as a simple drug deal gone wrong and nothing else.

Brendan had made sure to leave the door cracked open as he left. On his way home he made a call for the emergency line, trying to speak as English as he could.

He had given the address of the gym. "There's shouting, and flashing lights inside. They sell drugs there, I know, but this sounds like somethings gone too far."

He had closed the line before the lady on the other end got a chance to ask anything else.

::::::

"Can you believe this shit?" Warren spat on the ground. He and Brendan stood outside the gym, further away, watching police going in and out with their kits and carrying stuff they took as an evidence. Looked like they had found Warren's stash under the ring, more of those little white pills he kept handing over to his clients like sweets.

Cheeky bastard. If Brendan had known they were there, setting all things up would have been so much easier.

"You reap what you sow, Foxy." Brendan said, calmly. "I told you, you need to be more careful."

"Fuck you and your warnings." Warren pushed his hands in his pockets. "If I go down I take you with me."

"You have nothing on me. You always made sure to keep me away from your side work, didn't you. So you're on your own on this." He patted Warren on his shoulder. "Oh, and don't bother calling my sister. Someone told her about this little thing and your little business. She wants nothing to do with you."

For once Warren had nothing to say. Brendan walked away feeling like the king of the world.

::::::

He waited three weeks to make sure the investigation died down.

The police came twice more and took him to the station to be questioned, but couldn't pin any of the drug deals with him. And it seemed that the members of the gym had said their good words on his behalf while being interviewed, swearing on Brendan's good name.

Who would have thought of that?

Warren, on the other hand, wasn't so lucky. The rumours didn't do him any flavors, and his fingerprints were all over the drug bags. None were found from the dumbbell, and it seemed like the police were pretty convinced someone had heard about Warren's stash, sneaked in and tried to rob it, got into an argument with their partner in crime and ended up dead. When they finally identified Terry they discovered his long record of on and off prison sentences, and were ready to write the whole thing off. No one would miss another scum from the streets.

Warren would be convicted for serious drug crimes, but Brendan wasn't going to stick around to see it.

He gave a notice of his flat and there were only few box full of stuff he wanted to keep, rest was going to goodwills. Eileen and the boys had moved back to Ireland, but Brendan wasn't going to follow them. He was going north, to Cheryl, to Steven.

To his surprise Steven hadn't fucked off with his money. The lad had done as Brendan suggested and had been living under Cheryl's roof for these past weeks.

"He's such a lovely wee lad, isn't he, and he keeps asking about you all the time." She told him on the phone. "I've been telling him all kind of embarrassing stuff from when you were wee, oh Bren I'm so glad you have finally found someone."

It felt unreal, and Brendan still wasn't quite ready to believe it. Steven kept texting him every day, nothing relating to the crime in case police would check Brendan's phone. They hadn't, which was just as well, or they would have seen long thread of embarrassingly flirty messages and dick pics sent back and forth.

When Brendan finally backed his few boxes in the car and drove away from the city, he didn't look back once.

Half way through his drive he got nervous. What if Steven wasn't there? What if he was, but things weren't the same between them, after things Steven knew Brendan had done? He tried to calm himself, but being so close of getting the one thing he wanted made him tense.

He had called the estate agent in the village, and not surprisingly there had been plenty of properties free, like small place usually had. He had picked up one flat based purely from the agents description, as he was sure Cheryl wouldn't want to listen the noises Steven and Brendan made during the nights. If the lad even wanted to move in with him. Maybe he wanted to stay with Cheryl instead.

But when he followed the driving instructions and drove in front of his new flat, Steven was there, sitting on the stairs. He jumped up when he saw Brendan's car, and even when it was cold winter day the lad shone like a sun when he smiled so widely Brendan was worried he would hurt his jaw.

Brendan got out from the car. "Hello Steven."

"Hi."

Then they were on each other's arms, and Brendan held on to Steven like he was his lifeline. "I missed you. God, I missed you."

"Me too. Every day I hoped you would just get here."

"I'm here now."

"And you not gonna leave me ever again. Promise me Brendan."

Brendan kissed him. "I promise."

"Good." Steven smiled. "Now, are you gonna show us the new flat?"

"The agent said there's a key under the flower pot." Brendan let go of Steven so he could crouch down to search for it. "Here it is."

"If I'd known it was there I could have gone inside instead of freeze me arse off waiting for you out here." Steven laughed when Brendan unlocked the door and pulled it open. The he screeched when Brendan picked him up, easily, like he weighed nothing. "What are you doing?"

"Taking you in. It came partly furnished. There should be a bed waiting for us... I'll warm your pretty ass for you."

"Sounds promising." Steven smiled before kissing him.

Brendan carried him inside.

This was my "short little AU ficclet to get me out of the writers block", but as always my short got out of hand... Hope you guys enjoyed this one! I'm still planning on continuing my Taking Bullets universe and this was more of a detour to get my writing juices going again.