Disclaimer: I wish I owned Danny Phantom! Desiree: -turns me into Butch Hartman- AHHHHHHHHH! CHANGE ME BACK CHANGE ME BACK! -is changed bac

Summary: To avoid embarrassing himself as Fenton, Danny decides to go as Phantom to pick up the tampons Sam needs.

Rating: T

Inspiration: A conversation with ghostgothgeek

Pairings: Danny/Sam

Warnings: Talk of periods

Other Notes: N/A

The fluorescent humming of the lightbulbs and soft music seemed to be the only background noise of the local store. Danny's eyes scanned the shelves hard, growing confused as he struggled.

Maximum absorbance? Ultra thin? Flex foam? What? What the fuck do any of these even mean?

He scratched his chin, giving a curious hum as he tried to remember the brand name Sam told him. Danny reached into his pocket to pull out his phone to try and compare the picture of the tampon box he took when Sam first made the request. He heard a store cart wheel past the aisle before abruptly stopping.

"Danny Phantom?" a confused feminine voice called out. Danny froze before remembering. Oh yeah. He really didn't wanna be seen buying these as Fenton, or even being in the tampon aisle.

"Hello, citizen," he tried to greet cheerfully, but it came out weak and timid as the reality of his decision fully hit him. He glanced to see a confused middle aged shopper staring at him with wide eyes, pushing a cart full of items. She quickly hurried past, and Danny returned his attention to the shelf.

What the fuck, none of the boxes matched. He stared, dumbfounded. Was he at the wrong store?

He nervously walked down the aisle towards the wall, and his face lit up with relief before flinching. There was more. Holy hell there were so many options! How did girls know what kind to use? Sports? Security? Click compact? What?

He held his phone up and compared the boxes to the picture. Oh thank Pariah Dark, one finally matched. He eagerly snatched the box up, tucking it under his arm. He paused. What if Sam needed two? Wait, how many were in a box? He glanced and read the box, recognizing some of the new buzzwords that he had learned about feminine hygiene products. Holy shit 36!? ...Wait was that even enough?

Danny could feel eyes boring into him, and he turned to see a couple staring at him in absolute disbelief. He felt his cheeks burn a dark green.

"It's-it's not mine," he stammered out. "It's for my girlfriend."

"You have a girlfriend?" the guy asked curiously. Danny nodded, and he glanced at the shelves. Sam didn't bleed enough to warrant a second box, right? Well she did run out. But did that mean she was almost done? "Dude! You're Danny Phantom!" Danny winced.

"Yeah, yeah, I know who I am," he muttered.

"Can I have your autograph?" the girl blurted out. Danny forced a smile.

"Got a pen?" he asked.

The girl immediately began to dig through her purse and produced a small handful of pens, as well as what looked like a study guide for some class. She offered both to Danny. He picked a purple sharpie.

"Um, hold this real quick."

He traded her the tampons for the paper, and he used a shelf to quickly sign. The girl's face brightened, and she happily took the paper back.

"Thank you so much!" she chirped, and she showed it to her boyfriend while putting the pens away. Danny took this as his chance to quickly walk away.

He stuck close to the wall, keeping the tampons between him and the wall to avoid anybody seeing. He prayed that he wouldn't run into his parents, or worse, Valerie. Both would immediately be guns blazing, assuming he was out to...steal tampons. For some reason.

"Is that Danny fucking Phantom?" a surprised voice called out. Danny walked faster, and he slipped into an aisle.

Sam didn't ask him for it, but Danny had a sister. He knew the deal. Not the whole deal, but enough to know that he would be the world's best boyfriend if he picked up a little something extra for his beloved. After some careful searching, he found what he was looking for. The vegan chocolate Sam loved the most. He smiled in relief as he picked up a bar of it.

"Danny Phantom!" a child's voice gasped. Danny turned to see two boys, no older than seven, staring at him in absolute disbelief. He felt himself relax a bit, giving a friendly smile and wave. Kids were so much easier to interact with than judging adults or lovestruck teenagers.

"Hey," Danny greeted. One boy was shyly tugging on the hem of his shirt, which Danny noticed had his logo on it.

"Hi," he replied shyly. Danny glanced up to see a woman turn into the aisle with a shopping cart. She looked surprised and paused when she saw him before quickly wheeling up.

"Danny Phantom?" she seemed so confused. Danny nodded in confirmation. She smiled a bit. "Jason loves you. Jason, did you say hi, honey?"

She reached out to put her hand on her son's head, the one in the Danny Phantom shirt. He just stared at his feet. Danny knelt to his height.

"Hey, Jason," he greeted him again. He held out his hand, allowing it to glow lightly. Some ice began form. Jason and the other kid began to stare at it in absolute awe as the glowing powers soon finally faded and left in its place a small ice sculpture of the Danny Phantom logo. Danny offered it to Jason, who happily took it.

"I want one!" the other kid blurted out.

"I gotcha, dude," Danny promised him, and he repeated the process. This time the kids were nearly bouncing in place at being able to see such an event up close. The other got a logo as well.

"Thank you!" the other kid practically shouted as he snatched it up eagerly.

"Thank you!" Jason quickly spoke up.

"Of course, just make sure you stay clear of ghosts. A lot of them aren't very nice, and I don't want to see you get hurt," Danny explained. They nodded, and both began to shove them up to their mom to show her, both chattering a mile a minute.

"Yes I see, they're very nice, be careful with it," their mom began to try and calm them down, but to no avail. "Boys, go pick out your candy." The words were like magic, and the two began to run up and down the aisle trying to find what they wanted. The mom sighed lightly. "Thank you," she told Danny, and she cocked her head curiously. "No offense, but why are you here?" Danny flinched at the unintentional reminder. He held up his items for purchase.

"Girlfriend," was all he said. The mom nodded understandingly.

"Getting chocolate's a good move," she told him. "Smart man."

"Thanks. Have a good night," he told her, giving a small wave before quickly exiting the aisle.

It's almost over. It's almost over. Danny exhaled deeply as he headed towards the self check out. He was so close. He just had to make the purchase, and then he could immediately fly out, invisible all the way back to Sam's.

Oh no. Oh no.

His heart sank as he saw the dreaded rope of doom stretched across the self check out area. Closed. Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck.

He stared at the line. It wasn't too bad, but given his items of purchases, he'd rather go through the accident again. Danny exhaled deeply. It was for Sam. He could do this. Boyfriends bought their girlfriends tampons all the time. Hell, his dad would constantly chuck what his mom and Jazz needed into the cart with zero fucks. Why couldn't he be more like that? Danny felt ashamed of himself. He and Sam were nearly twenty. They'd been together for almost a year, and he can't just go and get tampons for her in his own human form like an actual good boyfriend? Well, way too late to back out of this now.

The ghost went to stand in line. The man in front of him, an older man with a mustache and thick glasses, glanced behind to see who came, and he immediately did a double take before staring. Danny gave a shy wave. The man frowned, narrowing his eyes at him. Danny began staring off to his left, but he could still feel the man staring at him.

"What the fuck is a ghost doing here?" the man finally spoke. Danny's eyes locked back onto the man's.

"I'm buying tampons and some chocolate for my girlfriend." It came out a bit more raspy and weak than he wanted it to, and he coughed a bit at the end to clear his throat. The man stared hard at him.

"Ghosts need tampons?" he sounded skeptical, and he took a step forward as the cashier finished checking out the person before him.

"She's human," Danny explained. The man's face darkened as he scowled. He raised a finger up to Danny.

"I think it's absolutely disgusting that you would take advantage of a human like that, and you should be ashamed of yourself," he told him. "I hope the Guys in White destroy you one day."

Danny just swallowed nervously. How do you even respond to something like that? He just bit his lip and stared off to the side again. The man, to his relief, turned to the front and refused to say another word to him. Although he did shoot him a nasty glare as the cashier gave him his receipt.

He wordlessly put his stuff on the conveyor belt, and the bored cashier began to ring him up.

"Is that all for you today?" she asked. Danny cleared his throat.

"Uh, yeah," he murmured. The cashier hummed in acknowledgement as she read out the total, and Danny handed her the cash. Something hit him, and Danny blinked. "You know, you're the first person to not say something about me doing this." The cashier gave a breathless chuckle as she handed him his change.

"You're far from the weirdest thing I've seen this shift alone," she told him. "But ignore the other dude. He's just being a pissbaby because he doesn't have a girlfriend to go buy tampons for." Danny snorted in amusement. "Tell the Mrs. Phantom I said hello."

"Will do," Danny replied. He grabbed the plastic bag of tampons and chocolate, tossing the receipt inside. He didn't bother walking out the door, but instead seized the chance to turn invisible and fly far, far away.

"You're such a dingus!" Sam's voice scowled through the bathroom door. Danny sighed from where he laid on the bed.

"I'm sorry, it's just, embarrassing," he tried to justify his weird decision. A few moments later, Sam came out of the bathroom. She looked miserable, and Danny offered up the candy bar he got her. She accepted it, immediately tearing off the wrapper.

"No. I mean, yeah. That was stupid. But you got the wrong box," she told him. Danny's eyes widened in horror.

"So do I-"

"Yeah, you need to go back." Sam took a bite of the chocolate bar.

"...Fuck."