"Alright, who's ready for the season finale?" said Lisbeth.

"Go ahead," said Kayaba. "I mean, after that last episode, I don't think it could get that intense after that last episode,"

"Here we go," said Kirito, pressing the 'play' button.

Heathcliff's speech.

"You know, they certainly know how to write a decent speech," said Kayaba.

75th boss battle.

"Man, I wish it was that easy," said Asuna.

"But the experience was well worth it!" said Kirito.

Everyone gave him varying looks of disapproval.

"What?"

Kirito's reason for buying the game.

"They've got a point there," said Kayaba.

Everyone looked at him.

"I mean, I wasn't taking any chances with the game, being the first of its kind and all,"

"Okay, but what about all those basic game design flaws?" said Klein.

"I... forgot why I put them there,"

Kirito rolled his eyes.

"What?" said the Kayaba, "I forget things,"

Kirito attacks Kayaba,

"Dang, why didn't I think of saying that?" said Kayaba.

"Why does this Kirito seem so much more confident than I was?" said Kirito.

"Well, you're not on a power trip," said Klein.

"Fair,"

Kirito's explanation.

"Okay, why can't we have plot twists like that?" said Sinon. "I mean, we barely foreshadowed that one!"

"I was a little short on episodes," said Kirito. "I kinda had to move things along,"

Kirito's monologue.

"Dang... why didn't I get something like that?" said Kirito.

"Now that I think about it," said Klein. "What did I even end up doing?"

Everyone thought for a while.

"I got nothing," said SIlica.

"I mean, I barely did much," said Lisbeth.

"Now now," said Asuna. "I'm sure they won't change much else. I mean, it's the finale,"

After Asuna says "Go suck a d**k,"

"Oh come on, that was a passionate moment!" said Asuna.

"I kinda liked it," said Kayaba. "I mean, didn't you two get like... one and a half episodes of bonding?"

"Most of it happened off-screen," said Yui.

"Oh yeah, you got to see the whole thing," said Leafa. "You'll have to tell someday,"

"Okay, Auntie Leafa!"

Kayaba battle.

"I kinda wish they'd play the theme song in-show at least once," said Kayaba. "I mean, those were good songs!"

Kirito and Asuna reunion.

"I remember that," said Kirito, staring lovingly at his wife.

"I was so happy..." said Asuna.

"Get a room, you two!" said Kayaba.

"This is our house," said Asuna.

Kayaba's motive.

"Uhhh..." Kayaba awkwardly rubbed the back of his head. "I feel a bit silly now,"

"Yeah, the mystique feels a little underrated now," said Kirito.

"I mean, how hard was it to think a decent reason?" said Sinon. "Hubris? Hackers? Rogue AI? No offense, Yui,"

"None taken," said Yui

"Yeah, you should get that checked out if you forgot something like that," said Yuuki.

Everyone stared at her.

"Weren't you dead?" said Asuna.

Yuuki shrugged. "Authorial bias,"

"Oh, okay,"

After the episode.

Everyone sat in silence.

"Well," said Kirito. "That was..."

"...something," said Asuna.

"What should we do now?" said Keiko.

"We could go visit our abridged counterparts and chat it up," said Klein.

Alright, everyone. If you want me to write the OG cast meeting their abridged versions, please leave a review.