A/N: this is originally posted on my instagram (svuxsquad) as AU or Alternate Universe and some people are requesting to make them a fanfic so here it is folks. There were some scenes added but the original story still intact.

Also side note that none of this happened in the real show. Olivia never got shot (cuz she got that damn flexes to avoid a bullet.) characters are not mine tho, Dick Wolf will get mad at me if i claim them.

[Prologue]

One. Two.

I had this dream since i was a kid.

Three. Four.

"no no no please stay with me. stay with me sweetie."

Five. Six.

A little girl was touching the flowers.

"please! call a bus! officer down!"

While her parents was beaming at her. She was the best thing that ever happened to them.

"Call a fucking bus!"

•••••

Seven. Eight.

"We gotta get moving! prepare OR 2 immediately!"

"keep fighting ok? i love you. i'll never stop loving you."

"Never."

••••••••

I've been on this unit for 20 years. And because of it, I became a mother. But everything is not complete...

Without him.

He's the reason why I'm standing still.

The reason why I'm keep fighting.

Until now.

Beep. Beep. Beep.

"PATIENT IS CRASHING! GET A CRASH CART NOW!"

•••••

It happened so fast.

The minute the man took his weapon on her, I ran. I ran as fast as my feet can.

Two gunshots.

She's lying on the floor. Her own blood coats her jacket.

"no no no please stay with me. stay with me sweetie."

She looks at me wide eyed. Then she slowly touch my face with her blooded hand. I hold it and kiss it. "You going to be ok. Just stay with me ok?"

"please! call a bus! officer down!" I yelled. Her hand still on my face.

"I-I l-love...y-you." and with that, she lost conciousness.

They immediately loaded her in the ambulance. We got to the hospital in just 10 minutes, put her in a gurney and rushed her to the OR.

"Keep fighting ok? I love you. I'll never stop loving you."

"Never."

••••

I left her for 8 years. I thought I would be okay without her by my side.

Turns out, It's not.

Day by day, I'm thinking about her. She's the reason why i'm standing still.

The reason why I'm still keep going.

Until now.

"Move!" The nurses yelled as they run along with the crash cart.

No no no. Not her.

Please god. Not her.

A/N: I know it will be a little confusing but i decided to add some because like someone here on FF once said, the characters had their own mind. :)