A/N: And betcha didn't think I'd post this update. I usually don't get past the fourth chapter of these stories after all... but here it is! As always, reviews are appreciated! You guys' have been really, really awesome so far!

War Maid-en – Chapter 5

Ancient Secrets

Rapping her fist against the hard, dark wood of the dormitory door, Eve tapped her foot against the stone walkway. "Bernie, if you don't come out now, we're going to be late for class," she told the resident introvert from the outside.

"E-Eve…" Bernadetta von Varley stammered from the other side of the closed and locked door. "Please, g-go away… I don't w-want to come to class t-today."

"We need to be on time to make a good impression on our new Professor, Bernie. Come on, let's go together. I'll keep you safe on the way there, I promise."

A pause resounded, then the girl squeaked out a weak little, "Uh-uh."

"What if I bake you some cake this evening?"

"…Red velvet?" the purple-haired smol girl asked in an equally small, though somewhat-hopeful voice.

Eve nodded before realizing Bernie wouldn't be able to see her nod through the door. "If that's what you want, sure," she said warmly. "We'll eat it together. How does that sound?"

"…O-Okay…" The door creaked open a little and Bernie poked her head out, blushing and looking at the ground. "M-Maybe I can come out f-for just an hour or t-two. You can g-go ahead… I'll be there in a bit."

"I can do that," the maid agreed with a nod, "or I can make sure you're not just lying to get me to leave and walk with you, instead." She chuckled as Bernie pouted at her and sighed before returning in the room, and emerging with a backpack.

"You're not going to go, are you?" Bernie groaned, looking exhausted as they headed off towards the training ground to take a right. "Oh, now we might both be late to class… I'm s-so useless and horrible… I just g-get in your way…"

"Nonsense," Eve told her, poking her cheek, causing the girl to jump and yelp a little. "I'm choosing to do this for you myself. If anything, I'm getting in my own way. Besides, you're neither useless nor horrible." Her cheeks tinged a little rosier. "In fact, you're really c-cute." God, she always felt so embarrassed saying that to other girls. "And you're the best sniper in the class. Hell, you're even better than a lot of the Golden Deer snipers. You're invaluable to us."

"Y-You think so?" Bernie asked shyly, chewing her lip. Eve nodded happily, giving the girl a reassuring smile.

"I definitely do," she said with complete honesty.

"…You're always s-so h-honest," Bernie said shakily. "I d-don't deserve anything you said… I don't deserve s-such kindness…"

Eve frowned at her sternly. "Of course you do, Bernadetta. You've done nothing to not deserve it. You're not an asshole, not a bigot. You're a good person. The voices in your head telling you that you don't deserve kindness? Punch them. Or shoot them with an arrow, if you prefer. They're lying to you, Bernie."

"I… I…" Bernie's lip quivered and her eyes watered, and before Eve could quite expect it, the smaller girl burst into tears and ran off ahead of her, wailing, "I don't dese-herve yo-hoo!"

Eve sighed and rubbed her head. Well, Bernie had at least managed to hold a conversation with her before running off. That was starters?

…God, she wished this world had therapists. Or that she knew how to treat trauma.

C-Rank Support Achieved!

~o~

Byleth Eisner had no idea what she was doing.

Things were happening way too quickly for her tastes. First, she gets roped into helping a bunch of students around her age fight off a group of bandits. Just another Tuesday. Finding out the green-haired gremlin who haunts her dreams has time-manipulation powers, saving Byleth from certain death? Less fine, but still okay. Finding out her father wasn't always a mercenary and getting roped into returning to the Monastery he used to be a captain of a knight squad at? Less fine, mostly since it meant they wouldn't get paid for the next job they were going to.

Forced to be a professor at said Monastery because a certain someone had apparently recommended her, regardless of the fact that she had no former teaching experience or education at all?

Although she did not understand how to express it, the young woman was in full-blown panic mode.

Especially because all these girls in her class were so cute, oh goddess!

(Floating with an unimpressed frown beside her, Sothis facepalmed wearily.)

In any case, weariness rose up in Byleth's head just looking at her class, though her face remained as passive as ever.

Linhardt had conked out on his desk; hair disheveled, drool slipping out of the corner of his mouth, eyelids relaxed shut, and face half-buried in his arms. He didn't even try to hide his slumber. Meanwhile, Bernadetta buried her face in a book, kept nervously glancing at her other classmates and then the door, and tried to make herself as small as physically possible. Her distress was so tangible you could cut it with a knife. Dorothea played with her hair idly, hummed a little showtune, and—when she caught Byleth glancing at her—gave her a flirty wink and blew her a kiss, sending the poor bisexual girl's heart racing like her father's horse. Catia kept stealing glances at Petra and quickly looking away with a blush and a squirm whenever the oblivious girl noticed. Petra, for her part, sat ready and attentive, like Edelgard and Eve, though both the empress-to-be and maid kept getting distracted by Ferdinand, who seemed to be attempting to lean across Eve to challenge Edelgard to a duel. Hubert gave Ferdinand an icy glare. Caspar kept resetting his shoulder's position, tapping his finger on his desk, and cracking his back.

This. This is what she had to deal with.

"Hello, class," she said neutrally. The students had the decency to stop what they were doing and pay attention to her, except for Linhardt, who had to be woken by Caspar pulling his ear. Bernadetta nervously peeked at Byleth from over the top of her book, tensing like a rabbit in front of a hunter. "Let's take a roll call."

They went down one by one through the class. Byleth could barely hear anything from Bernadetta when they reached her except for a small, terrified squeak, but she accepted it anyway.

She marked all of the class as present and nodded, taking a short breath before continuing, "Alright, let's start off with all of you writing down a list for me to see what weapons or magic fields you have strengths in, and which ones you do not. If you could also tell me what class you are currently and what you would prefer to work towards, as well as any other important information such as Crests, that would be good."

They all did as Byleth requested after she passed some paper around. She studied the papers for a while, committing the class's strong suits and weak areas to memory. Nodding to herself, the ex-merc felt a little less unsure of herself. At least now she knew what areas to train her students in.

"Alright, then, class," she said, a rare smile breaking out. "For our first assignment… we are going fishing."

The room was so silent you could hear a gnat's fart.

"…What?" Edelgard said at last, dumbfounded.

~o~

The class stared. All of Caspar's boundless energy took a break for a moment. Linhardt felt so engaged the thought of sleep didn't cross his mind even once. This was beautiful. This was exotic. This was…

Byleth thrust the spear into the water and pulled it back with a triumphant yank and stood up, knees sore from bending over on them upon the pier.

"…Okay, I'll admit it," Ferdinand managed. "I'm impressed."

Byleth, a blank look etched on her face, nodded as she held up the Queen Loach wriggling in its death throes, impaled on the blade of its spear. "Dinner," she intoned, and promptly stuck the giant fish against the ground and stomped on its head. It stopped wriggling.

Bernadetta jumped, stunned out of her enraptured silence. "P-P-Professor!" she cried. "You didn't h-have to k-kill it like that!"

Byleth tilted her head. "It was a powerful enough blow that it died instantly," she replied evenly. "I put it out of its misery as painlessly as I could."

"You are reminding me of some of the fishermen back home in Brigid!" Petra declared excitedly. "They were having the same skill as you!"

The blue-haired girl shrugged and started walking to the kitchens, picking up a bucket as she went and sliding the fish off of the bloodied weapon on its side. The huge marine creature flopped to the bottom on top of a couple others. "Come. With this Queen Loach and the other two I killed, there should be enough for all of us to have dinner. Who knows how to cook fish?"

Petra and Catia both raised their hands, as well as Eve. "I do, Professor Eisner," they all said.

She nodded. "Eve, help me cook." She tilted her head and then smiled. "And you all mentioned that we should be equals, yes? Then call me Byleth."

"Uh…" Eve nodded dumbly. "Sure, Profe... Byleth."

Byleth led the way to the kitchens, her step a little lighter. Eve, meanwhile, unbeknownst to the ex-merc, internally facepalmed. Oh, god, the fanon is true. She had a feeling this was going to be an… interesting year.

~o~

In a dark city filled with strange architecture, otherworldly and futuristic, a pale-faced old man paced furiously.

"Is the new portal ready?" growled a man with sharp facial contours, snow-white hair and eyebrows, and curious black earrings, as well as advanced, shiny black armor. "This one cannot fail."

"Nearly, sir," the other pale-faced man sitting at the chair and typing away on a computer replied. "I am attempting to calculate the proper coordinates now. It is difficult, however. The multiverse is quite large and expansive, and even a single mistake could throw us off entirely. However, with every bug discovered in the programming, we grow one step closer to the Reaper."

"I see…" the leader of the Agarthans murmured, staring at the weapon in his hand. "The Church's best-kept secret… there are few who still remember it. Perhaps that damned archbishop herself does not even remember. After a millennium of our research, it is within our grasp, I can feel it…"

"Sir, should I proceed with another attempt? The calculations should be finished in the morning."

Thales closed his eyes for a moment and then nodded. "Do it as soon as it is possible. Our God cannot be kept waiting any longer than he must. The salvation of our people from the hated humans and the Children of the Goddess must not be delayed. When it is complete, we will at long last take back the land that should have rightfully been ours."

He left the computation room with a sweep of his cloak, stepping through the dark halls of the underground city with ease. It had been a while since he had visited it… Perhaps he should pay his respects.

The Agarthan headed towards a largely concealed alcove towards the back of the city, shrouded in darkness and only visible to him due to the fact that his kind's eyes had long since evolved to see well in extremely low levels of light. He stepped through the alcove and walked down a short, stony passage, emerging in a room unlike most others in the city. Perpetually lit with magic candelabras which cast an orange glow around the room, shadows flickered in several areas where the light was not strong enough to reach. Thales took a moment to allow his sight to adjust, and then walked forward upon carefully carved stone tiles, painted with a ribbon of black.

Pillars, beginning to crumble due to the hands of time, held up a curved ceiling some thirty feet above Thales's head, and a cool breeze flowed through the chamber. A kind of mystic feeling, one sure to grant a creep of adrenaline deep within the veins of a new visitor, hung in the room. On the opposite end of the hall from the entrance, a set of four stairs lifted up a circle of stone, upon which an onyx coffin sat, black as night. The box had not seen the light of day for over a millennium—not since the age of the Goddess.

Thales walked towards the coffin and pushed the lid off of it with ease. The light in the room dimmed. An ancient coldness swept through the air.

"Our Father," Thales said quietly, gazing into the coffin.

A void gazed back—empty and endless.

"Soon, you shall return to us. This I promise."

He continued gazing into the void for some time. It was only when he slid the coffin's lid shut again with an echo of stone grating against stone that the torch light in the room returned to its normal brightness.

The next morning, in the Kingdom of Faerghus, another glowing hole opened up in the sky.