A/N: EDIT: Well, the trolls are back. Look at the reviews. *sigh* pretty sure its a group of people or one very persistent person doing this...

...but it hurts. Can't we have peace? Please?

T_T

May The Fourth Be With You!

Please read this, would you kindly? Thank you~!

I should have a Star Wars update ready soon given what days it is, but I've got to get to work.

This Naruto ain't nice. I've said that the last two chapter, but it needs to be said again. Of course the Grail's just about given up trying to suppress Servant memories by this point, so all hell is going to break loose. I'm still working on my RWBY stuff but the chapters are so SODDING LONG that they're taking time. Case in point, the last chapter of "An Untraveled Road" was nearly twenty thousand words long. Writing monster chapters like that take a lot out of me.

Not to mention my Star Wars stories. Clone Wars was a massive gut punch.

Whereas with these? Shorter chapters, quicker to update, but they cover less ground.

As I've said before, Berserker!Atalanta hails a from a bad end in A Most Unlikely Berserker. The same applies to Avenger!Jack, Sane!Fran, Grand Semiramis, and Corrupted!Jeanne. Like I said, bad endings. Servants stemming from routes where everything went awry. You'll see these Servants -among others!- pop up in a few stories, but trust me when I say you DON'T want to see those bad endings. They're all written already, but I won't ever post them here.

Furthermore, this incarnation of Atalanta has her memories from Berserker. Remember. She's from a bad end where just about everyone died.

I don't shy away from violence or certain scenes in this story. Its nothing graphic mind you, but this story's a beast of its own. In other news...I just finished the Lostbelt. If I wasn't motivated to update faster before I bloody well am now! So many feeeeeeeels. In other news, still not feeling well. Not sure if caught the damn virus, but I don't have much energy these days. Been hunkering down and working odd jobs to make ends meet, too. Shadow!Naruto's a right blast to write, in part because I don't have to hold back with him. Berserk!Atalanta's a fixture of this story as well, and as such this tale takes on a more centralize role than others.

As ever, I own no references, themes or memes. Nor do I get paid for any of this.

Reviews are love. Reviews are life. Reviews make me strive.

Sorry if its short, but I'm still really sick...

"How did we get here? I have memories of you. I knew you so well, and to see you twisted into this...

"I. Am not. Berserker. I'll thank you not to call me that again. As to what you said earlier, there's nothing wrong with wanting to live. I don't know you. I don't remember you. I don't think we ever met, at least not in the forms we have now. But if you say that we knew each other, if you say that some incarnation of me was something to you, somewhere, somehow...then I'll try and give you the benefit of the doubt."

"Just like that? You'd forge an alliance with me so easily on nothing more than words alone?"

"Give me some credit here; if you try to stab me in the back, I'll have to kill you."

"Not a chance, Ber...I mean, Archer. I won't forsake you. Never."

...sooo can I have my arm back now? Please?"

"No. Never. Its mine now. I claimed it.

"For crying out loud...

~Berserker and Archer.

A Most Unlikely Meeting

Footsteps heralded Archer's return.

Another, softer pair informed Kairi he'd brought a guest.

An Archer tamed by a Berserker. There was a cruel irony to be had there.

As such, the Necromancer couldn't help but smile as he brought the bottle to his lips and drank. Whiskey was all well and good, but he'd broken out a good bottle for the occasion. This called for a celebration! In less than twenty four hours since his summoning, Archer -Naruto, he reminded himself!- had already slain a Servant and formed an alliance with another. He'd sent him a mental message to warn him of their coming an hour before and now the conquering killer returned with his prize in tow. There was also another Sisigou was drinking, but he wasn't about to spring that on the blond. Not here. Not yet.

When said Servant finally made his entrance he was surprisingly silent, stoic even. The woman on his arm was anything but.

Clad in little more than a black fur pelt with little more than some modest coverings for her bits, she was still a beauty to behold. Ashen violet hair hung down her shoulders, framing a smiling face and hooded golden eyes that took in the crypt with something akin to nostalgia. There was a strange feral grace to her every step, not from tension, but a strange joy he didn't understand. This then, must be Berserker.

"How strange it is," she murmured softly, "To be back here again."

Naruto blew out a breath. "Can we not do this right now? Please? I'm not in the mood."

"Well, would you look at that." Despite himself, the Necromancer grinned. "Didn't expect you to bring a girl home after the first date."

"And I expected you to be somewhat sober upon my return." Archer's scathing retort cut through the dimly lit crypt like a knife. "How disappointing."

In all aspects of life there was bravery, then there was complete and utter foolishness. Kairi Sisigou had become a master of toeing the line between both; years as mage had taught him what he could and could not get away with, and he only dared this much because he knew the measure of his Servant. Naruto was many things; efficient, quick and ruthless to be sure, but he wasn't stupid. Archer or no, he needed him. Just as he needed his Servant's prowess if he hoped to win this war and have his wish. Killing one another served no purpose. Baiting, however? That was fun.

And if the kid looked fit to strangle him for that...worth it.

"Eh, I'm used to being a disappointment." he grinned, hefting the bottle. "I summoned you after all, didn't I?"

Sure enough, Archer hissed at him, but didn't make any overt moves toward him. The woman proved another matter altogether.

"Kairi Sisigou." those hooded golden orbs regarded him as full lips quirked into a small smile. "Its good to see you again. You look well."

Alright, now that he couldn't ignore. It was strange enough that this Servant seemed to know this place, but him? That couldn't be possible and it immediately aroused suspicion. It was only the faint sheen of those golden orbs that held him back from making any over moves. She didn't seem happy to see him. Almost...sad. As if she were mourning a long lost friend. He wasn't sure how to feel about that. How he should feel about that. So he asked as much:

"Have we met?"

"Once." Her expression turned sorrowful. "In another life. You died well."

Naruto made noise somewhere between a snarl and a squawk and fixed his companion with a murderous glower.

Urk.

Scowling at the idea of his demise, imminent or otherwise, the old Necromancer knocked the bottle back once more. He didn't want to believe her words; didn't want to trust them. That they rang with truth made them all sting the same. Did that mean he was going to die in this war, too? Nope. Nope nope. Nope nope nope! Lots of nope! Nope sandwich with a big 'ol heaping helping of nope! He wasn't thinking about that! Any of it!

"Setting that lovely tidbit aside," Naruto sighed, brushing past him to snatch one such bottle for himself as Berserker mimicked him, "What's the plan? You said you had one, Atalanta."

Ah. So that was her name.

"Naturally." when he sat she did the same, claiming his lap without so much as a word and laying her head against his chest despite the long-suffering look he gave her. Golden eyes flashed at him over her shoulder and Sisigou though he saw the Alter smile in the faint light. "We kill anything that moves. Together, we'll be unstoppable."

Naruto actually laughed at that; it was a sharp, short noise that sounded as if it hadn't been heard in nearly a year. For once he sounded more surprised than amused.

"Together, huh?" he yawned. "You're really not going to let go of that, are you?"

Her ears twitched. "No. You're mine now. No take backs."

"Now wait just a-mmrph?!"

Sisigou didn't laugh when Naruto reared backward; and he certainly didn't laugh when Atalanta welded her mouth against his again. Nor did he laugh when the blond pried himself free, clamped both hands on her hips and held her fast. If he so much as snickered now he knew his life would be forfeit, contract or no. Instead he steered the conversation to safer waters before the madwoman actually tried to mount Naruto. She looked like she was considering it.

"Look, this is touching and all, but we can't just slaughter every Servant we see."

"Of course we can." the woman silenced Sisigou with a flick of the wrist. "I slew Assassin of Black last night and Rider of Red some time before that." she tossed her head, nearly swatting Naruto with her hair when the latter tried to protest. "I believe their trues names were Sasaki Koujirou and Saint Martha. Each put up a fight, but victory was mine." this time, there could no mistaking the small, feral smile that plucked at the corner of her mouth. "Naruto clearly slew another, as I'm sure you well know. That's three Servants dead out of fourteen. We're already well on our way to winning this war."

"You'd kill one of your allies?" Sisigou balked, bringing his own bottle down. "Just like that?"

Naruto looked at him like he'd gone made. "What allies? I don't know any of them. I barely even know her."

"Quite right. The weak die. The strong survive." Atalanta tilted her head at him, and actually looked baffled for once. "Is that not the way of your world, magus?" when he didn't readily reply she leaned back into Archer's chest. "Rest assured, I have no allies save the two of you. Nor do I recognize any other faces in this war. Everyone else is an enemy to be slain, unless they pledge their loyalty." perhaps seeing his fear, her eyes widened in mild concern. "Oh, but not you!" She hastened to add with a frantic wave of her arms, "Worry not, I shan't betray your confidence-

"Hey, Necromancer!" a sharp, angry voice arose from the entrance to swallow her words. "We're back!"

Everyone went still. Naruto sat up. "What was that?"

"Oh, nothing." Sisigou grimaced. "Just the wind-

CLANG!

This time, there could be no ignoring the sonorous noise that came from just outside the crypt. Naruto arched an eyebrow, but whatever he might've said was muffled by the explosion that followed. Little more than a dull whump of sound, it nevertheless blasted a wave of humid air into the crypt. Less so the shout that followed.

"Who put that trap there?! I thought we got rid of these?!"

Atalanta jerked upright at that, with Naruto only half a step behind her.

Sisigou simply deflated. "Well, look at that. They're back. You caught me. Oh no."

Each Alter exchanged a baffled look as much at his blatant sarcasm as they did him. "They?"

"Friends of yours." the Necromancer poured himself another drink and knocked it back with a harsh guffaw when both Alters glared at him. "Two of them bulled in here while you were away; said something about the Grail or somesuch and that they were looking for you. Told them to come back tomorrow." He grinned at the blond's resultant scowl. "Guess they didn't listen."

"What did you do?" Naruto blew out an irritated breath.

"Alright, but you can't be mad at me." Sisigou smirked back at him.

"What. Did you. Do." Atalanta leaned forward, head butting against his with a hiss.

"Set up some traps." the Necromancer folded both arms behind his head and smiled smugly. "Not enough to hurt them of course, but still-

"NECROMANCER!"

With a mighty crunch the door leading to the inner chamber flew from its hinges and sailed at them. Berserker moved to catch the wooden frame, only a for a writhing web of silent shadows to intercept the onrushing door before it could land. It shattered like so much driftwood in their grasp, leaving naught but broken timber behind.

Not so the golden-blue sheathe that came flying through them to strike Naruto on the chin.

Archer went down with a startled yelp as the impromptu missile struck him; as Sisigou looked on the holy weapon actually boomeranged back the way it had first come into the smoke. Berserker had only just begun to manifest her bow when the new arrivals bulled through the wreckage to confront them. Naruto was left squinting through the haze, rubbing his chin. Sisigou sympathized.

What kind of madman threw their sheathe at someone?!

"Greetings, fellow Servants of Red!" a grandiose voice called from within the smoke. "Please excuse our intrusion. I'm afraid her Majesty couldn't wait to meet you."

Three heads tilted as one. "Eh?"

"Sh-Shut up, Caster!"

As an irritated Naruto lay reeling on the ground, the haze cleared and he found himself frowning at a hand. Without thinking he seized it and allowed himself to be hoisted to his feet.

Caster of Red, for this man could only be such, proved himself to be a striking young man with pale hair clad in a white robe bearing...flowers of all things. He flashed a small apologetic smile at the befuddled blond as he released him. Distantly, he was aware of another standing behind the mage, but for some reason he couldn't bring himself to look away.

"Once more, I must apologies for her behavior." Caster sketched a sweeping bow. "She has quite the temper, you see."

A name came to Naruto then, utterly unbidden.

"Merlin...?"

The man blinked in surprise but beamed nonetheless. "Why, yes!" he tittered softly in surprise. "Have we met? You seem...familiar."

They had. He was sure of it. He remembered that damn grin, that sly smile. Naruto -Archer!- fought down a scowl as he met that cryptic smile. There was something there. More memories, more pain that wasn't his. He'd seen this man's face before. Somewhere. Somewhen. Somehow. He couldn't find any other world for it. An angry spike of agony shoved itself through his skull when he tried to remember. No. Not his memories. Not his. It had nothing to do with him. Yet he couldn't silence the irritation he felt toward this being.

Without warning, his right arm twitched. "For some reason, I want to punch you."

...that's a reaction I'm quite familiar with!" Caster actually dared a laugh. "Please, don't. You might break me."

"Naruto, no." Berserker swiftly nagged his arm when the irritated blond made to do just that. "He's on our side, for now."

"Well, hey!" The woman beside him proved entirely different as she bulled her way into her vision. "I thought I recognized the two of you! Long time no see!"

For reasons Naruto couldn't truly understand, she wore armor in the strangest of places, armor that did nothing to hide her figure beyond at all beyond some greaves and ill advised breastplate over a generous bosom. She was tall, too, standing nearly a head above them all, so much so that she had to stoop to slip into the entrance. Clad in flowing cloth of the purest crimson dashed with blue, she nevertheless looked the part of a warrior. And that was without the burning golden blade she openly wielded at her side. As he looked on she retrieved her sheathe and bound that holy weapon within it once more.

"Who are...?"

"What, you don't recognize me? It me, Mordred!" she beamed back at them. "I'm a Ruler this time around! And you two, ha!" she grinned childishly. "Did ya swap classes or something?"

Atalanta turned incandescent. "Of all the people...why are you here?!"

"Dunno." once more that grin flashed out at them like lightning. "This ain't my body either, but when I saw the shitty drunk back there-

"Hey!"

-I remembered things, you know? Things that happened to me, but didn't. Not even sure about this "other" me or nothin' at all." her armored shoulders rose and fell in a shrug -that did interesting things to her chest-, one that immediately swept over a startled Merlin's shoulders. "And then I bumped into this bastard! He looks weak and all, but Merlin's actually really handy in a fight. So I brought him here!"

It made something in Archer's rotten old heart stir. There was something...there. Something -someone?- was shouting deep inside of him, desperately trying to wake up. He remembered a fiery smile and wild laughter as she slapped him on the back. Rough fingers on his face. Warm lips against his. Not his. Never his. And yet...!

Mordred.

Mordred Mordred Mordred MORDRED!

A memory he shouldn't have, an emotion that wasn't his, roared to life.

...what the actual hell." an eye twitched. "In what timeline did YOU qualify as a Ruler?!"

"Ha?!" those peerless aqua orbs narrowed to thinly concealed slits. "What was that, you shadowy little shit?!"

"Ah. There's your real personality...somehow, you're just too easy to rile up, even in this form." Archer exhaled with a long suffering sigh and poked her again for emphasis, drawing a squeak from his fellow blond. "And what's with this chest?! Since when were you so STACKED-

She clobbered him through a wall for that quip.

Naruto didn't crash backward.

He absolutely flew.

A/N: As ever, I own no references or quotes.

I managed to resit the urge to write RWBY stuff to pump this out, so I hope you appreciate it~!

Yes, that's a Ruler!Mordred we saw here. She's OP as hell, gifted Excalibur and Avalon both. Think of her as hailing from an alternate ending of sorts, one in which she was acknowledged by Artoria and led all of Britain into a golden age until her death. She comes for a story we've not seen and one we likely won't see outside of A Most Unlikely Collection. I'm not writing anymore new stuff until I wrap up my other stories. Maybe I'll post something there, someday, if enough folks ask for it.

Of course the Grail's just about given up trying to suppress Servant memories by this point, so all hell is going to break loose.

And now its been revealed that two more Servants died offscreen some time ago. Sorry about that, but it was always part of the plan. Worry not, there won't be anymore off-screen deaths after this, but Servants are going to drop like flies. Hope you're ready for chaos.

Reviews are life, Reviews make me strive, Reviews Keep Me Alive.

Without reviews, I die. After all, the flames drove me away.

So, in the Immortal and Eternal words of Atlas...

...Do Leave A Review...would you kindly?

And of course, enjoy the previews!

SPOILERS! SPOILERS! SPOILERS!

READ AT YOUR OWN RISK!

(Preview)

"You still want your daughter back, old man?"

Sisigou nodded warily, watching Archer's taut shoulders like a hawk. When the latter raised a hand, the Necromancer offered him a cigarette. The whiskered warrior took it and inhaled deeply before expelling a raw, harsh plume of smoke into the night air.

...I'm only going to say this once." his Servant grumbled. "When you get her back? Hold onto her. Cherish her. Never let her go."

"When?"

"You're going to win this war. Even if I have to die for it."

"Hope? There is no hope here. This is an empty box."

"I want to save mankind."

Shirou wasn't prepared for the laughter; if only because it was so sudden.

One moment Archer had regarded him with a blank expression; in the next the young man doubled over with raucous laughter. It burst from the bereft blond in a short, savage bark of sound, one that seemed to swell in the church like the very shadows he commanded.

"Save them? Mankind? Humanity can't be saved."

Saber gurgled softly. "Why you filthy little...

And the shadows came for them.

R&R! =D