Yo yo yo. So I had this idea years ago and never got around to writing it until now. I don't think I've seen any PJO fics where Percy finally gets fed up with the gods' shenanigans and says, "Screw it, you guys suck. I'm gonna go work for Kronos now." So, I made one. Hope you enjoy!

It's gonna start off slow at first, and much of the events and dialogue from the first few chapters will be taken straight from Uncle Rick's The Lightning Thief, but I added new stuff here and there. If you see anything that sounds familiar, that's because I didn't write it!

I stared up in awe at the massive wooden gates, tall enough to allow several of me stacked on top of each other through with room to spare. Gold engravings depicting the (rather bloody) history of the gods were etched into the doorways. I remembered a lot of it from Mr. Brunner's—ahem, Chiron's—class, but the drawings I recognized ended after the fall of the Roman empire. After that, well... I didn't really remember learning that the Hundred Year's War was really just another dispute between Poseidon and Athena over mortal favor, or that the Bubonic Plague had resulted from a mishap in Hecate's alchemy lab. As my eyes scanned the doorways, I began to wonder just how much of human history had been shaped by the gods' carelessness. My thoughts turned to the weapon of mass destruction currently residing in the backpack I had slung around my shoulder. Even now I could hear it crackling with power. If Annabeth, Grover, and I hadn't found the master bolt in time, just how many more mortals would have perished in the resulting conflict? The thought made me shiver.

Behind me sprawled Olympus, home of the gods and ruled by the mighty Zeus. And it was absolutely beautiful. Satyrs and nymphs tended to elegant gardens while pedestrians adorned in togas and sandals bustled about the streets. The shouts of peddlers rang from the market, accompanied by the symphonious voices of the muses as they sang for the crowds. Children chased each other through the vineyards, laughing in merriment, while the livestock lazily bathed in the sun. It astounded me that all of this was hovering just over the Empire State building, and that no one down in the city was any the wiser. Life here seemed pleasant, simple, and yet I couldn't help but notice the sense of unease pervading the residents as I passed through the town.

I must have really been an eyesore to them. It had been a long couple weeks, and frankly, I was exhausted. It seemed that the three of us had been constantly on the move, whether it be running from monsters or chasing down leads for the missing weapon. It had been a while since I'd had a decent night of sleep, and the plane ride back to New York had been nothing short of terrifying. If it weren't for my beat-up Camp Half-Blood T-shirt, the residents probably would have thought I was just some hobo from the city that had accidentally wandered up here. It didn't take long for me to notice the nervous looks sent my way after stepping onto the streets of Olympus. Between my rugged appearance and the fact that it was the day of the summer solstice, they must have pieced together that I was the demigod tasked with retrieving Zeus's stolen master bolt, and that I'd be the deciding factor in determining if they'd go to war.

Okay, no pressure, I thought as the marble gateway opened on its own. Inside, the Hall of the Gods was slowly revealed. The place made Yankee stadium feel like a kid's playset. Marble columns extended upwards endlessly to an impossibly tall ceiling, a sky within the sky. A wide red carpet fringed by black silk extended from the doorway and ran down the stairs further across the hall. Torches blazed in bronze braziers all up and down the carpet, casting flickering shadows onto the pillars and floor. And that was just the foyer. At the end of the hall and just down the stairs, the building widened into a circular room in which twelve massive thrones had been erected, the base of each seat reaching to just above my head.

At the top of the inverted U, elevated above the rest, sat a god that could only be Zeus. Even from the front of the hall, I could clearly see the electricity crackling behind his eyes as they bored into me. His bulging muscles remained motionless but tense, still prominent even underneath his pinstriped suit. If he stood up, I'd have probably guessed him to be about 15 feet tall, maybe even more. Through his impressive beard, dark and stormy grey, his lips were curled into a frown as he scrutinized me.

I suddenly wished I'd had the time to shower and change.

Sitting directly to the left of him was my father. Poseidon wore leather sandals, khaki Bermuda shorts, and a navy blue Hawaiian shirt which was missing a few buttons at the top, revealing a physique that was just as muscular as his brother's. Unlike Zeus, Poseidon's facial hair was short and neatly trimmed. He had a deep tan, and his face had that brooding look that had often gotten me branded a rebel. That radiant glow, that warm smile that I remembered from him when I was a baby, was nowhere to be found. He wouldn't look at me, nor at Zeus. He stared off to the side, a deep scowl on his face. His eyes were pained.

His throne was more of a deep-sea fishing chair, the swiveling kind, complete with a cup holder and a hole for a fishing pole. Except instead of a fishing pole, a golden trident rested in the chair, green power emanating from its tips. Poseidon gripped it so firmly that his knuckles were turning white. I could feel the tension in the air as I got closer, like they had just finished an argument.

I descended the stairs and stepped into the center of the thrones, feeling the overbearing weight of history pressing down on my shoulders. Here was where laws were made, wars were declared, and the world was ruled. At that moment, I was glad that there were only two godly presences in the room. If the full council had been there, I didn't know if I'd have even been able to stand.

I approached the two gods, stopping first at the closest one and kneeling. "Father," I greeted him. A moment passed, and I heard no response. I dared to glance up.

Poseidon regarded me with an angry glare, his jaw tightened in barely concealed rage. His sea green eyes churned like a swelling tide just before a hurricane. My shoulders shrunk inward as I returned my gaze to the ground. Had I done something wrong? Did I offend him somehow? Be polite, Annabeth had said. The gods are quick to anger.

Zeus cleared his throat. "Should you not pay respects to the master of this hall first?"

I blanched, mentally kicking myself. Of course, acknowledging his brother first in his own home would be seen as an affront to Zeus, and I was already on his bad side. Another wrong move and I might end up as a stain on the floor. I began to sweat. I had been in the room for less than two minutes and had already offended both gods. Add that to the list with Ares and Hades and I already had a quarter of Olympus hating my guts. At this rate, it wouldn't be long before I was blasted to dust.

I glanced up once more. Poseidon simply looked away, his eyes narrowed, as if he couldn't bear to look at me. I turned towards Zeus, who sat with an expectant look on his face, his frown now seeming permanent.

"Ah, um... my apologies, Lord Zeus." Unsteadily, I rose and knelt down at Zeus's feet.

A moment passed as he regarded me. Finally, "Rise, thief." I did as I was told. I wanted to correct him, tell him that he got it wrong, but I thought it wise at that moment not to interrupt him.

"It is the day of the summer solstice," he boomed. "I gave you until today to return what you have stolen from me, but I do not see my bolt. Do you have it or not?"

I unslung the bag from my shoulder and set it on the ground, unzipping it in the process. "I do, my lord," I said, producing the metal cylinder from the bag. I extended it to him, feeling the metal slide from my grasp as he took it. He uncapped it, and I could immediately feel the static in the air as the bolt crackled to life, reacting to its master's hand. "You're wrong about me, though," I dared. "I'm not the thief."

As he slid his hand down the bolt, it extended until it was proportional to his godly size. "Is that so?" he asked, examining it. What he was looking for, I wasn't sure. To me, it just looked like a bolt of lightning, frozen in time. "I guess you'd better start explaining where you got this, then."

So I told him about my quest, or all of the more relevant details anyways. I doubt Zeus wanted to hear about how I let zoo animals loose into Las Vegas, or about Disco Darrin trapped at the Lotus Hotel. His face grew wearier as the story went on.

"So, you implicate my son in this treachery." I waited, unsure of how to respond. I could only hope that he believed me. Zeus sighed. "I sense you speak the truth. However, this is most unlike him. Ares has an unflinching habit of starting conflicts, though he has never dared to provoke me. Hmm…" The god frowned. "To think he would steal from right underneath my nose… He grows bold."

"Ares had help, my lord. I think he was only roped into this after the bolt had been stolen."

I told him about the dreams I had been having, the ones where he and father were fighting and the menacing presence was goading them on. I told him about the momentary breath of malice on the beach, where time seemed to stop and something made Ares back off from killing me. I said that Ares had hinted that he was having dreams similar to mine, and in these dreams, they told us to take the bolt to the Underworld.

Zeus looked confused now. "Then you suggest my brother Hades is behind this after all."

"No, Lord Zeus, I've been in the presence of Hades." To my right, Poseidon shifted in his throne and frowned, but at least he was looking at me now. "This feeling was different. It was more like what I felt when we were close to that pit. I think whoever is down there was the one talking to me in my dreams. The one behind all of this."

The two gods were silent for a long time. "My lords," I said. "That was the entrance to Tartarus, wasn't it?"

Zeus and Poseidon turned to each other. They had a quick, intense discussion in Ancient Greek. All I could make out was the word pater. Father.

Poseidon made some kind of suggestion, but Zeus cut him off. Poseidon's rage returned in force, and he attempted to argue. Zeus grew annoyed in return. Feeling their godly energies radiating more intensely, I took a step back in discomfort, feeling like I'd been placed inside a microwave. The shouting increased in volume until Zeus finally held up a hand and shouted, "Enough!"

Thunder boomed outside of the hall. I looked up at the glass ceiling that seemed to be miles above. It had darkened outside. I could only wonder what this looked like to all the residents of Olympus who were wondering if WWIII was about to start.

"You forget your place, Lord Poseidon," Zeus boomed. "I am King of Olympus, and my word is final. You will speak no more of this, or war will be had despite your son's hard work on this quest."

I waited with bated breath. Poseidon's glare at his brother was so intense that I could feel my skin beginning to burn. After a moment, he exhaled forcefully and lowered his head, relenting. Zeus's own gaze softened.

"I'm sorry for your loss, brother. Truly, I am. But you must not act hastily in your grief. We simply need more information first. For now, we will keep this under wraps to prevent widespread panic." Poseidon closed his eyes and nodded. I watched his expression carefully. What exactly had he lost?

"Now then," Zeus continued. He rose to his feet, towering over me and clutching his bolt in one of his hands. My eyes widened and I took another step back. Was he going to-?

"I must go and cleanse this in the waters of Lemnos, to remove the human taint from its metal." A sigh of relief involuntarily escaped my lips. I thought that Zeus hadn't noticed my discomfort, but a small smile on his lips betrayed him. He's enjoying this, I thought dryly.

He paused and regarded me for a moment, his expression softening just as it had after his argument with Poseidon. "You have done me a service, boy. Few others can claim the same feat."

"I had help, sir. Grover Underwood and Annabeth Ch—"

"As your reward, I shall let you live." I stared at him. "Your existence is a testament to a broken oath. I do not trust you, Perseus Jackson. But for the sake of peace between my brother and I, your life will be spared. Do not presume to fly again. Do not let me find you here when I return. Else you will taste this bolt, and it will be your last sensation."

I had to avert my gaze as he disappeared in a blinding flash of lightning. Thunder rumbled the hall. As the sound faded, we were left in eerie silence. Poseidon propped an elbow onto the arm of his throne and rested his head in his hand, wearily massaging his temples. Stress lines wrinkled his forehead. I wondered how a being with so much power and energy could appear so tired. My thoughts drifted back to the pit, the unnerving voice that came from it echoing in my ears.

"Um, sir..."

"Your mother is dead, Perseus."

My breath hitched in my throat. Everything I wanted to say to my father, all of the questions I wanted to ask him, and feelings I wanted to share… They died right then and there. I looked up at Poseidon, figuring it had to be some kind of sick joke, but as I looked into his eyes, I felt cold, unforgiving dread stab its way through my body and tighten in my chest.

"In a rage, Hades killed her after you fled from the Underworld."

It didn't make sense. I had just seen her that morning, and now I was being told I'd never see her again. How could she be dead, without me having known it? Without me having felt it?

I couldn't breathe. I couldn't think. I could barely even hear the words my father spoke. It was all I could do to keep my legs from giving out underneath me. The word repeated over and over in my mind. Dead, dead, dead…

"You could have saved her," Poseidon continued. His words were accusatory, but his tone was glassy and lifeless, like when you stood at the shore on a cloudy day and couldn't tell what the sea was thinking. "You could have left that failure of a satyr behind, or that blasted daughter of Athena, but instead you chose to sacrifice your mother."

Each word felt like a sledgehammer to the chest. My breaths came in short, ragged bursts. He blamed me. I couldn't help the choked sob that escaped my lips as I finally sank to my knees. My father blamed me.

I tried to stammer out an excuse. "I thought... the helm—I promised I'd return it—"

Poseidon lifted his trident and slammed it to the ground, silencing me and sending out a shock wave that rattled my teeth. "And you thought he'd believe you?!" he yelled, raw power radiating in every direction. "In his eyes, you came into his home to threaten him and fled when he called you out on your supposed thievery. Of course, he'd be angry. Did you not expect such a reaction from the Lord of the Dead?"

I found myself back in the Underworld. Before me, I could see my mother, my beautiful mother, bound in a golden light. She looked exactly the way I remembered her when she was taken from me on that dark and stormy night, her face frozen in terror, as if the Minotaur's massive hand was still clenched around her throat.

I felt a blast of energy, like what I felt when the argument between Zeus and Poseidon flared up, only this was much, much worse. Hades was there now, bellowing in rage, cursing us thieving demigods as the ground shook and began to smolder. I watched in horror as my mother's flesh began to melt from her bones, unable to look away. Hades' wrath absolutely incinerated her.

When the vision ended, I was a sobbing, sniveling mess on the ground at Poseidon's feet. At that moment, the final line of the prophecy struck me. You will fail to save what matters most, in the end. Panic began to fill my chest like a balloon, and I began grasping. Grasping for anything to keep my head above water, to prevent myself from drowning in despair. I found anger, and I held onto it like my life depended on it. I pulled myself to my feet, using it as a crutch, and I gave my father the most venomous look I could muster.

"Don't blame me for this," I spat. "If you had done literally anything to protect us, this wouldn't have happened. Hades sent Furies and Hellhounds and even the stupid Minotaur after me. If you had given even a little bit of help to that 'failure of a satyr' in getting us to camp, we would've been fine!"

Poseidon was eerily silent. It was as if all the anger and rage he had displayed with Zeus had drained away, leaving emptiness in its wake. But I knew very well what happened when the ocean receded.

"You know there was nothing I could do." His voice sounded dangerously like a levee threatening to break. "The Fates do not allow us to interfere with the lives of mortals."

"You could have done something," I said desperately. "Zeus—Zeus saved Thalia by turning her into a tree..."

Even as I said the words, I knew it sounded ridiculous. I imagined another tall pine up on Half-Blood hill next to Thalia's, and how strange it would be to pass by it every summer, knowing my mom was still inside. I wondered if that was what it was like for Annabeth and Luke.

A great sigh escaped my father's chest, and his expression turned from fire to ice. "I am sorry, Perseus," he said distantly. "You are right. It was wrong of me to blame you. It seems a mere 50 years was enough for me to forget why I made my sacred oath in the first place. The children of the gods attract misfortune to themselves and those around them. More so with children of the elder gods. I knew this, and yet I had you anyways. It was a mistake I shant soon forget."

My eyes stung. That's all I was to him. A mistake. 'A testament to a broken oath,' as Zeus had called me. It was no wonder he struggled to look at me. I sat there in silence for a moment, feeling miserable with myself.

"If it is any solace to you, know that Hades placed her in Elysium when his helm was returned. I made sure of it."

An uncomfortable pause. Truth be told, it did make me feel slightly better. I had only gotten a brief glimpse of Elysium when we passed through the Underworld, but I could see why it was so sought after. It was an enchantingly beautiful place, sort of like the town I had passed through on my way up the mountain, but transcendent in a way. It definitely seemed like a place where Mom could be happy. At the very least, she wouldn't have to deal with Smelly Gabe anymore.

I looked at him again, and our eyes met for maybe only the second time that day. Pain and regret swam amongst a sea of other, more obscure emotions. He was hurting just as much as I was, I realized.

"...Thank you. Sir." I was still angry with him, but I didn't want to push him any further. We had already said enough to each other.

"You should go now, boy. As should I. Best not to linger here when my brother returns."

The wooden gates groaned shut behind me. I looked down upon Olympus once more. The storm clouds that had formed from Zeus's anger had subsided, and the town seemed to be carrying on as it had before. As I walked through the city of the gods, conversations stopped and heads turned. The muses halted their concerts. I tried to imagine my mom amongst these people, living it up in a vibrant city such as this down in the Underworld.

The thought only sent a pang of sadness through my heart. This coming year might have been the first one where I would have actually gotten to go to school close to home. I knew what I was now, so there was no need for me to hole up in a boarding school dozens of miles away for my protection. I could have gone to class in the morning, hung out with friends after school, and then gone home to have dinner with my mom every evening. Like a normal teenager. But now that was impossible, and I'd never have dinner with her again, or see her smile when she gets home from work, or hear her tell me it's all right when I get kicked out of school.

People, naiads, satyrs—they all looked at me with gratitude and respect, and knelt to me as I passed like I was some kind of hero. The thought made me scoff. How was it that I was able to stop all of Western civilization from plunging into war, but I couldn't even save my own mom? It made me angry. Angry at Zeus for threatening me with the death penalty without any proof I was guilty. At Hades for taking my mom away from me. At Ares for tricking me. At my father for calling me a mistake. But mostly at myself.

Poseidon had been right. I couldn't help being born, but that didn't change the fact that my existence only seemed to cause misery.

Fifteen minutes later, I found myself back on the streets of Manhattan, standing in the shadow of the Empire State Building. I glanced up, but the floating mountain in the sky was nowhere to be seen. I shook my head. Around me, pedestrians were walking by, pigeons fearlessly weaving in between their feet on the sidewalks. None of them seemed aware that the nation had nearly descended into war.

I looked further into the city. My apartment was only fifteen minutes away by taxi. I wouldn't be living there anymore, I thought glumly. My name may have been cleared by the authorities, but I knew Gabe would never welcome me back. Not that I wanted to go live with him. He could marinate in his filth for the rest of his life for all I cared. But still, I had a few belongings left there that I wanted to keep. I decided to get them later. Gabe was a pack rat. I had no doubt my things would still be there the next time I visited.

Placing two fingers in my mouth, I blew a whistle that only years of growing up in Manhattan could perfect. As I got into the yellow cab, I gave the driver the address for Half-Blood Hill, and then we were off.

So the prophecy was taken a little more literally this time. Sally died when Hades unleashed the earthquake that shook Los Angeles. Poor Percy. And Poseidon didn't really make him feel any better, either.

Do you like it? Hate it? Want some more of it? Let me know in the reviews!