Hammer Massage

There are many quirks to living with a turian.

You have the dextro-levo food issue, different sleeping patterns, different ways me and her clean, minor cultural differences...marriage takes work, I tell ya. But we both know how to have some fun.

When she suggested the idea of a group massage, I was intrigued. It had never occurred to me how exactly turians did it. She didn't have much skin exposed besides her plates, so although touch definitely could be felt...well, how did it work?

The answers surprised me.

It was the day of the event, and we had just enjoyed a shower together. There was just something about showering with someone you loved. Showering with a turian was something he had gotten quite good at. Put soap on her plates and skin, and make sure to gently rub her fringe to make her make the cute warbling sound turians subharmonically did sometimes. To the untrained ear, one couldn't hear it. But, if you had an implant like Jack did, he could understand his wife.

He found it fascinating how turians could have entire conversations without actually talking. It sounded like a pleasant hum, or purr, depending on how she felt. If they were in bed together, getting it on, it would be a purr, like a cat. But normally it sounded like a delightful hum.

"So...honey. How exactly do turians get massaged?" He asks as he was cleaning her fringe.

She chuckled. "We've been married for about a year, and you don't know?"

He blushed. "Um, no."

She laughed. "Relax, hotshot. I'm messing around. You know that one spot on my back? The carapace?"

He was quite familiar with her body, but he let her take his hand in hers and place it around her back's midsection.

"Putting pressure there feels really good."

"But honey, I've done that."

"Have you done it with a hammer?" She turned around, cocking her head in that cute way she did when talking to him. Normally, he'd be staring at her naked body, covered in soap. But this definitely garnered my attention.

"So let me get this straight, honey." I say. "You voluntarily get yourself hit in the back with a hammer?"

"Calm down, honey. First off, it's more of a mallet than anything. It's not like you Jackhammers of yours."

I sigh. Ever since I taught her puns, she's been using them so much. But it's so cute at the same time.

"It hits us slowly, but surely. Just enough to relax us." She kisses me.

"You're really hammering in the nail with this whole relaxation thing, aren't you?"

"Ah, shut up!"

We arrive at the massage place. First time doing something like this with her. When we do stuff like this in private, we usually end up going on a sexpedition. Heh.

We register, and enter the changing room. Couples only. We disrobe and put on robes for the event. We smile as each other, seeing our partner in various states of undress. We've gotten more than used to seeing each other without clothes. Hell, the first time I saw her naked wasn't during our first time making love; it was a military dressing room. Due to their lack of outside privates, turians don't have the same stigma around nudity that we humans do.

She looks perfect undressed; her brand-new markings shine perfectly on her plates; the go perfectly with her smile, her green eyes blink as her mandibles flutter, staring back at me. Six and a half feet of bare turian woman stand before me. Even without breasts, she is gorgeous.

Her hips are picture perfect; supporting a beautiful ass, and on top of two amazing slender legs. Her spurs are kinda weird, like something you'd see on a dinosaur in that...what was it called? Jurassic something? She, like all turians, has three talons on each foot. Two in the front, and one in the back. They aren't flat-footed like us humans, rather are slight angles, holding her body up, allowing her to use those bird of prey reflexes to outrun me on our daily runs.

Her body is wonderful; slender yet strong and muscular from years of military training. There's a bit more exposed skin there, with less plates. Her skin unto itself is wonderful; it's soft like human skin, but a bit harder. Her plates, while definitely harder, feel cool, and wonderful. No breasts, but her body shape and ...other things make up for it. Past her wonderful arms which have held me so many times, is her head, and her beautiful face.

Turian faces, while quite different, are still eye-catching in a way. The way her plates all mold together to form a geometric structure around her skin is something else. Her two green eyes, staring vividly at me, with that sly, playful look she always has. You know if this wasn't a public place I would so do you right here? Ah, her.

Her mandibles, while in place, are pretty damn cool too. Don't pull on them-they're sensitive. Her mouth, filled with many small dinosaur-like teeth, with a purple tongue, makes for some good kissing. She had to wear a mouth cover when doing oral, but it's worth it for both of us. To finish it all off besides her adorable fringe on the back of her head is her markings. My oh my, her markings.

Palaven blue, almost like a soft navy blue you'd see on a uniform, go down her face in an upside-down V formation. They're the final touch on her wonderful self, and I love them so much. I have them too, just smaller and redesigned for a human face. But it's what binds us together in marriage. The vow to the world that says I love you. We're family now. A family. Thanks to her...I have everything I could possibly want.

She ruffles my hair, bringing me back to the real world. "Admiring the view?" She says, purring. "I don't blame you. C'mon. Let's have some fun." I nod, kissing her. As we put our robes on, and she walks out the door in slippers, me behind her, I can't help but smile.

I am one damn lucky man.

We lay down face-first on the beds. I look over at her and smile as two drones comes in. One has hands, obviously meant for me. We disrobe and relax. The robot...oh man, that feels good. I needed something like this. Softer than Terrina's talons, but a bit colder ...mmmm. I look over at my wife. My eyes widened.

Her eyes were rolling, as the mallet hilariously rapidly hammered into my wife's back, the carapace. "So ...goooood." I chuckled, laughing slightly at the ridiculousness of the situation. Here I was, getting a romantic group massage with my wife, while she was getting hammered by a drone, moaning softly. This was...this had made my day.

So when the session was done, she was driving back, with a stupidly large smirk on her face. With turians, that meant that the mandibles were splayed wide opened, and some of her teeth bared.

"Auuh, Jack. You cannot believe how good that felt. Seriously."

"Hon, you looked like you were orgasming. Are you alright?" I joked.

"Ah you." She said, waving me off. "So, what do you want to do, huh? I got no other plans for the day. Herthya and the girls want to go out tomorrow for drinks. So...ideas?"

"How about a movie, wifey?" I ask, placing a hand on hers as we park.

"Sounds like a plan."

And we had a wonderful night, together.