Chapter 1- Blessing Oddly Disguised

A long time ago in another season of writing a very sweet reader reached out to me with the idea for this story. Of course, I cannot for the life of me find the message. But regardless, thank you, you, for trusting me with such a deep and current and difficult topic. When I first read it I knew two things: the research was going to be a lot and I had to give my full effort. This topic has effected tens of millions of people around the world. Everyone has a personal tie to it in some way. With such a potentially wide, well informed audience writing this in a half-ass way wasn't an option. So for the last couple of weeks I've been staying up till the early hours of the morning, eventually falling asleep to videos, medical journals, and countless articles pertaining to the topic. But through it I've developed a newfound appreciation, admiration, and empathy for those have been in the battlefield, doing their absolute best to come away victorious. This story is dedicated to those who have fought and won, those who are currently battling, those who will take up the fight one day, and those the world has tragically and unexpectedly lost. I love, support, and applaud every one of you.

The rain puddle was the perfect circumference of a soccer ball. It's circular shape was a backward reflection of the above, revealing the crystal clear, cerulean shaded sky. In this mirror you could make out a single, extra fluffy cloud. The puddle was from an early morning rain storm, quite common for this time of year. The shower gave way to the stunning, clean atmosphere. It's a beautiful metaphor for life. Sometimes our lives need to be showered, drenched in unpleasant and scary things in an effort to clear the grime and gunk, rid ourselves of the thing that's harming or tying us down. Sometimes we are aware of the need for that downpour, other times it comes up out of nowhere. But afterwards, we learn it was the exact thing we needed. When the rainfall is a mere dripping, or the sun finally breaks through, the beauty and pureness of things are revealed, making that small, dreadful thing worth while. But in actuality, this was just a calm puddle that was all too soon interrupted by the striking of a size ten boot.

"50-21 George, suspect is running down Monroe Street on the rooftops. We need air support and backup now!" What began as a simple search warrant manifested into a full on obstacle course. The chase began in the West End on a quiet street in a still house was now a tear through, or should we say, crashing over more populated areas. The group bolted down side alleys and through people's backyards. The perp wove them through businesses setting up shop on the sidewalk and weaving through crosswalks and school zones, ignoring the yelling and honking car horns. They climbed to the roofs about three blocks ago. Jay had his hand on the perp on one of the fire escapes before being kicked to a landing, grunting and cursing as he caught back up with the perp. The guy was fast, clearly trained in some crazy karate skill. His movements were fast, fluid, and perfect. Despite Jay's best efforts he could only keep pace with the guy, never advance far enough to take him down.

The rooftops acted like launching pads, tan colored trampolines that propelled each man to the next square, each praying a large space came for the other person. This area of the city was at lower heights, appearing as mere molehills looking up to their sky scraping counterparts. The Sears Tower felt to be a large boost away, just trees and a park away from landing on one of its' spires. People were shouting, honking car horns at the sight above them. This was a quiet, suburban area, the last place you'd expect to see a Jason Bourne type chase at eleven thirty in the morning. But that's what the day had in store and that was the job for today. Jay just ignored everything, eyes glued to the target at the other end of the roofline.

"Jay, wait!" Adam was told to follow the two men, regretting his eagerness at the beginning of the chase. They'd been going for ten, fifteen minutes now, Adam learning the hard way just how out of shape he was compared to the two people ahead of him. He watched the perp fly over the rooftop space, breathing a small sigh of relief when the guy cleared the roofline by a couple feet. Jay was on the other side seconds later. Adam stopped, taking a breath before building up the momentum for the leap. The roof Jay and the perp were on had structures, rooftop access doors and large exhaust stacks and chimneys. The speediness and quick thinking the perp had Jay scrambling, reaching for his gun as he slowed to a brisk walk. Adam never lost sight of him, also wondering where the crazy ninja had disappeared to.

"You see him, Adam," Jay spoke into the radio?

"No," Adam replied, upping his speed and closing his eyes as he made the jump onto the roof. He watched Jay venture around one of the stacks, crawling and darting before moving another step. Adam had drawn his gun as well, aimed just enough to where he could quickly make a move. He was a couple feet away from Jay when it happened. Jay was at a corner of the rooftop access, perhaps a foot in open air when something black and cylindrical flew his way. In a blink Jay was exhaling hard and had collapsed on the ground, completely out cold.

…

It felt to be hours later when he resurfaced, staring straight up at the sky and squinting against the sun's strength. People were shouting, words mumbled but the tone said it was serious. The strength was gone, Jay was impressed to still be alive and functioning. Whatever hit him felt to be in the dump truck range. Another blink brought things into perspective. Jay maneuvered his head to see Adam pointing a gun at someone, a female voice echoing what Adam was saying. Jay moved a foot, grabbed for his sore chest before forcing himself to sit up. The act revealed Hailey putting cuffs on the perp, Adam keeping his gun pointed at the guy till he was secured and handed off to a waiting officer. Then the attention turned to Jay.

"Don't get up," Hailey told him, was at his side within five strides. Jay had no clue where she came from, wasn't even aware she was within the vicinity of the chase. Jay didn't move, just kept blinking, thinking his concussed mind was imagining her there. But a soft, warm touch on his arm told him otherwise.

"Where did you come from?"

"Cars exist," she joked.

"Hey, that was a nasty hit. How do you feel," Adam asked? Jay responded by moving into a kneeling position, hating himself for that idea. The vision became blurry, the whole body felt to be seconds away from going limp again. Hailey and Adam grabbed an arm, coaxing Jay back into lying on his back, much to Jay's dislike.

"Guys, I just passed out. I'm fine."

"You got hit in the chest with a crowbar. Probably had the wind knocked out of you. You need to take a minute, Jay." While he would never admit it, Jay was thankful for the forceful push back to the ground. It was true, he did have the wind knocked out of him. He felt like crap and exhaustion to say the least. The three of them sat for a couple minutes, all of them catching their breath and doing a mental rewind to what went down. It's not everyday you do what they just did, so one must take time to inventory the hectic-ness that transpired. Jay's little laugh is what got things moving forward again.

"Haven't done that in awhile," Jay laughed.

"Awhile? What, is this some kind of exercise for you?" Jay shrugged.

"I'm ready to sit up," he announced in an annoyed way. Hailey and Adam took a portion of his back and sat him up, rising before extending a hand for Jay to grab. It felt weird to be on two feet again, the legs wobbling before the strength kicked back in. Jay took a couple steps before his assistants were at his side, hovering hands over him as he ventured toward the exit.

"You need to be checked out," Hailey commented.

"I'm fine," the feeble and pained one shot back.

"Jay, she's right. You could have a concussion, cracked or broken ribs, internal bleeding.."

"-Guys, I'm fine. Nothing a good night's sleep won't fix."

"Yes, which is why you're barely moving and hissing with each breath." It was entirely true and Jay knew it, sighing and huffing at what he knew was coming next.

"Fine, but twenty bucks says it's nothing."

"Well, better to be safe than sorry," Adam replied when they all made it to the street. Jay was rested on a bench near the curb, accompanied by Adam till Hailey rolled around the corner in the truck. The two of them offered Jay a boost to the truck and he accepted. The pain and lack of air was felt when he rested against the passenger seat, refusing to admit he looked forward to getting the rest of the day off. Adam waved farewell to them as they disappeared around the corner, fifteen minutes till Will freaked out over nothing. Jay used to time to rest his head against the passenger side window and fall asleep. He was fully aware of the danger in doing that, but sleep always won out.

…

"What happened," Will spoke as he jogged to the truck. Jay was just waking up, Hailey filling Will in on the details as Jay unbuckled and faced his brother. The worry was littered all over his face, the scrunched brow and fleeing normal skin color evidence of that.

"Just had the wind knocked out of me. I'm fine," Jay spoke, doing his best to smile against the medium grade pain in his chest.

"Yeah, sure," Will replied. He helped Jay out of the truck and pointed him to a wheelchair, which naturally Jay ignored. He walked ahead of the group, stopping at the ED doors and waiting for someone to check him in. Paperwork was filled out and a doctor was assigned before long, Ethan guiding everyone to Trauma Four.

"Take a seat," he told Jay, who quickly obeyed. In cases like these, the best way to get out of things quickly was to do as told. It was a ginger move but Jay was soon sitting on the bed, feet hanging over as Ethan rubbed hand sanitizer on his palms.

"Do you want them here," he asked while pointing to Will and Hailey? Jay nodded.

"It's fine." Maggie stuck her head in the room, thrusting an iPad in Will's hand.

"Trauma Three, kid swallowed five marbles. Natalie needs some assistance. Hey Jay, you're in good hands." Will hesitated, looking down at the device before facing his brother.

"Like she said, I'm in good hands. Go. I'll see you before I leave." Will stood there for a moment, eventually nodding before disappearing behind the curtain. Hailey occupied Will's now vacant spot, acting as a wall flower at this point.

"So, what happened" Ethan asked?

"Was chasing a perp, got hit by something hard and passed out. Woke up a couple minutes later I think." Ethan turned to look at Hailey who added more details.

"It was a crowbar and he was out for three minutes. When he woke up he was pretty weak and groggy." Ethan nodded, documenting everything in the iPad before continuing. From there the initial concussion tests were done, asking Jay a million question before having him perform small, random movements. The result was a normal concussion, not serious enough to keep him for observation but enough that would earn him a week off of work.

"Can you take your shirt off? I need to check for internal injuries and broken ribs." Jay did as was instructed, wincing as he lifted the article of clothing over his head and handing it off to Hailey. What was revealed to the room was startling. A large, reddened mark was painted across the middle of Jay's chest, about halfway down and about six inches away from the belly button. Jay did a once over of himself before lying back, now convincing himself things looked a lot worse than they actually were.

If there was music, this would be the time to cue the dramatic, scary track. Ethan was feeling around the upper chest and abdomen region, talking about sports and the day with Jay when he hesitated. His eyes went wide before resuming their normal appearance. There was an enlarged lump in the armpit, causing his train of thought to stop as he moved up to the neck, digging a couple fingers into the base of Jay's neck. His search revealed more enlarged bumps, perhaps one of the biggest tells for the disease. The acting skills were crap, Jay picking up that things weren't normal.

"What," he stupidly, jokingly asked, fully knowing something was off. Ethan blinked, shook his head as he wrapped up the exam before sitting Jay up.

"We're going to do a quick x-ray, just to check if anything is broken. Unfortunately Hailey, you'll have to stand outside for this." Perhaps her experience with Ethan wasn't as seasoned as Jay's, or she refused to let Jay know she saw the bad reaction, but Hailey began moving without protest.

"How long do you think it'll take?"

"Not too long. A couple minutes. You're more than welcome to wait in the lounge. I'll have him get you when we're done." Hailey looked to Jay again, like she was looking for weakness or hints. When Jay gave her nothing she nodded, turning away from the group and disappearing down the walkway.

"So what's going on?"

"Just being thorough," Ethan responded as the x-ray machine was rolled in and set up. Medical people donned the proper gear as the big, square object was aligned with Jay's chest. It rattled and clunked above Jay's head, the ancient sound forcing him to close his eyes through the procedure. Moments later things were pushed away, Jay resting against pillows and blankets as Ethan took a seat on a stool, staring at the image downloading on the screen in front of him. While the x-ray revealed nothing was broken, something far more serious flashed across. Above and below the diaphragm were lit up like Christmas tree lights, a bright white shade against the duller, greenish shades of the body. His suspicion was horrifically seeming to be true. No longer was the acting necessary. He pushed the screen away from him, looking to Jay and breathing before speaking.

"What," Jay asked again, his tone far more concerned this time.

"Have you noticed that you've lost any weight recently?" What he didn't tell Jay was that he looked thinner. Not to a point of worry, but he was more streamlined, flatter than his normal appearance. It was another ploy to see if his suspicions were true.

"Um, yeah. But it's been a crazy, nonstop summer. Just thought it had to do with that." Ethan nodded, scrolling and typing in his iPad before continuing.

"What about night sweats?" Jay nodded, beyond concerned and nervous now.

"And I have to ask. Did your mother die from cancer?" Jay's eyes went wide, now piecing things together.

"Hold on, I think we're taking things a little too far. I just came in here for bruised ribs and a concussion. This is all.."

"-Jay, what kind of cancer was it?" Jay stopped, the two men locked looks with each other. Without a word spoken, both came to a quick agreement. This was real and it was happening. Denial wasn't going to work.

"Breast cancer." Ethan nodded, turning the x-ray results towards Jay and pointed to the extra bright spots.

"These spots indicate swelling of the lymph nodes. Given your family history and symptoms we need to begin the diagnosis process. I'm going to refer you to an oncologist here. She's the best in the region."

"An oncologist. So…it's cancer?" Ethan shrugged.

"It's not definite. But you need to rule that out before dealing with other things."

"Can you just tell me honestly, do you think it's that?" Ethan looked back at the screen, stared for a couple seconds before facing Jay.

"It's pretty likely." Jay's face dropped. He leaned back as best he could and rubbed his eyes, half thinking this all was a nightmare. People his age typically don't hear that kind of news, especially in the shape he was in. He'd gone down this road before, but joined it as a bystander and at the very end. Disbelief is the perfect word to define this moment. It was something he never envisioned having to go through, not even a blip on his life radar. Yet, here he was appearing very likely to be staring the big one, the C-word right in the eyes.

"I can schedule a biopsy for you tomorrow with Rhodes. It's the best way to confirm things. We can send the results to the doctor before you see her. I can also schedule an appointment for you after the procedure." Jay just blanked out, didn't show an emotion or speak a word. Appeared to be in another mindset or time to the uninformed eye.

"Jay," Ethan spoke, placing a hand on Jay's forearm.

"Do I have to tell them? They're going to find it weird when I don't show up for work tomorrow." Ethan smirked, delighted there was still humor in the shocked one.

"You have the week off, remember?" Jay looked up, rolling his eyes over his forgetfulness. He nodded, laughing as he rubbed his eyes.

"I'm looking out for you." The laughter died down, Jay not sure if that was the appropriate or inappropriate remark, but took it nonetheless.

"Schedule the procedure. Let's get this rolling." Without even knowing what all he was going to endure the following day, Jay signed his life away, admitted himself to people much wiser and able than he. But in situations like this it didn't help to keep the ghosts hidden in the closet. There was a problem and the light of truth had to be utilized in an effort to reveal things. He was scared, unsure, not ready for what was to come, but clung to one thing: this was the stable moment; best to relish it before things became the polar opposite.

"I'm sorry, Jay," Ethan spoke when he was halfway out the doorway.

"Yeah. If Will isn't busy can you bring him in when you come back?"

"Absolutely." The room, the whole building became quiet, remembrance level quiet. Jay looked out to the world, catching quick glances from doctors, nurses, and people floating by and around the room. In a way, Jay was convicted they all knew. That in the brief moments the idea exhaled out of Ethan's mouth the walls of the place echoed them into the hallways and rooms, telling the sad tale of his impending future. Jay hated what was likely to come, feared the reality he was about to endure. Being an independent person, help wasn't going to be accepted easily. He'd be going against every fiber of his being, relying on other's to intervene, save him when he couldn't. He knew the side effects, was fully aware of the absolute hell that all too likely faced him, but the threat of no longer being able to care and fight for himself is what scared him the most. But through it all, there was this peace, this odd ambience about him. This was just another bump in the road, a portion of the path that was going to be treacherous. A song popped into his mind with lyrics that seemed to fit the mood.

"Were we the belly of the best or the sword that fell? Oh, we'll never tell." The lyrics come from The Stable Song. It's a story of being so sure of oneself, life is on an upward trajectory and everything is stable. However, when a storm comes, the faith and foundation of the writer is tested, seeing them hit rock bottom. The end result is them picking themselves back up, returning to their strong, able self again. Jay was at the beginning of the storm, the forward of the testing's story being written. This would certainly try him, probably bring him to the absolute worst place he'd ever been. But he had to hang tough, fight till the moment he returned to this present, free state. The path was hidden for the moment but he was ready; plain and simple. He smiled through closed eyes, choosing to ignore the tears. Oddly, he was thankful for the attack on that roof because without it, he'd be in a whole other, more serious place down the road. A concerned, quiet voice disrupted his little moment.

"Jay?" An eye was cracked open, showing a nervous Will at the corner of the bed. Jay nodded, sat up, before responding.

"We need to talk. I think it's pretty serious."

Research taught me many things, but one thing greatly stood out: everyone's story and situation is unique. From the diagnosis to treatment and results, everyone has a different story. Certainly, the way Jay initially figured things out isn't the norm, but it fits him. This chapter was about setting the foundation, readying Jay for what is to come. This was about getting that initial, out-of-nowhere bluntness that comes with this type of diagnosis. The next chapter we'll see more of the medical side of things, a more proper procedure to figuring out what is going on. I hope you guys liked this, as best as anyone can. This is going to be a tough one and I appreciate you guys for reading this. Let's all get through this together.