DISCLAIMER: I do not own Total Drama. Mal and Duncan are not a couple in canon – this is just a crack pairing. This story becomes NSFW towards the end.

"I can't believe you're making me do this!"

Mal looked at his frowning husband and smirked. "Well, you should have thought of that earlier, Sweetie," he laughed.

Duncan looked at himself in the mirror in utter dismay. He was wearing a pink dress with a frilly pink skirt. Underneath the skirt were white tights. Duncan was also wearing a pink tiara and black high heels. He hated his new outfit.

"How long do I have to wear this for, Mal?" Duncan demanded.

"A week," Mal replied, bluntly.

Duncan was shocked. "A WEEK?!" he shrieked. "Mal, I cannot wear this for a week!" he protested. "I cannot wear this outside!"

"You can," said Mal, smirking. "This is Canada, not Kazakhstan. It is legal for grown men to cross dress in public in this country."

"It's still humiliating!" Duncan insisted.

"You didn't find it humiliating when you pissed in the bed," Mal glared at Duncan. "Don't get me wrong; I love it when you piss yourself. But not on the bed, the couch or any of the furniture except for the kitchen chairs while they are covered in towels. Those can be cleaned easily."

"You never clean up!" Duncan snorted. "I'm always the one who has to clean up."

"Just trying to make your job a little easier for you," Mal chuckled. "Now, why don't you be a good little bitch and strut around the room for me so I can see how sexy you look in that dress?" he commanded.

Duncan huffed relentlessly. "I hate you," he muttered, loudly enough for Mal to hear him.

"Then why did you marry me?" Mal laughed.

Duncan scowled, as he began to walk around the room in the dress, much to Mal's delight. "Because you bailed me out of juvie," he huffed.

"I'm pretty sure there are other reasons as well, Sweetie," Mal smirked.

Duncan bushed brighter than the dress. "Just shut up!"

Fortunately for Duncan, the rest of the day was spent indoors. Himself and Mal never made any plans for that day, so Duncan just cooked dinner while Mal watched the hockey match. The next day wasn't so bad either, as Duncan never had to leave the house. He'd already done the shopping last Friday so he did not need to do it again that day. Nonetheless, Duncan still had to wear that dress whether he liked it or not. He was only allowed to take it off when he was having a shower or in bed.

The day after that, however, was when things really started to get awkward for the former convict. Duncan needed more cleaning supplies, so he had to run to the supermarket. In the fucking dress! No less. So, Duncan grabbed his wallet, his keys and his mobile phone, only to discover that the dress does not have any pockets. "Fuck!" Duncan cursed to himself, as he grabbed a small backpack and threw his keys, phone and wallet into the compartment. It was times like this that Duncan wonders how he's managed to get this far without killing Mal. Anyway, Duncan threw the backpack on his back, grabbed two shopping backs and wobbled out the door on his high heels. Duncan reached into the backpack to grab the keys to lock up, then fired the keys back in the bag. He wished he could drive to the supermarket, but they only had one car and Mal always calls dibs on it.

Duncan walked along the footpath as he came across Jo, who wolf-whistled at him from across the street.

"Ooh-la-la!" Jo smooched at Duncan.

"Go back to harassing Brick!" Duncan snarled at his neighbour, giving her the finger. Why did everybody who was from Total Drama feel the need to live in the same municipality, let alone the same city, as Duncan?

"I can pick on G-I-Joke whenever I feel like it," Jo laughed. "Doesn't mean I don't like to pick on other losers like you! I'm surprised that Mal hasn't cucked you yet!" The female jock continued to blow kisses at Duncan as she disappeared down the street in the opposite direction Duncan was going in. All Duncan could do was hope that Jo would not go near his and Mal's house.

Things got even more embarrassing for Duncan as soon as he got to the supermarket. As soon as he walked into the shopping centre, Duncan walked past Zoey at the entrance who pointed and laughed at him. What made it worse was the fact that this was the farthest entrance from the supermarket. Zoey continued to follow Duncan and call him names like 'fairy' and 'degenerate' until a security guard intervened and kicked her out of the mall 'for being transphobic'. Served that bitch right, Duncan thought to himself, as he ran into Harold.

"Watch where you're going!" Harold snarled at Duncan. "You're such an idiot, Duncan! Gosh!"

Duncan responded by shoving Harold to the ground and he walked all over Harold in those high heels as he continued walking towards the supermarket. As soon as Duncan walked past the escalators, Gwen caught sight of him. She emerged from underneath one of the escalators and ran up to him.

"Wow, Duncan! Courtney would look extremely hot and sexy as fuck in that dress!" Gwen beamed. "Can I steal it from you and give it to Courtney?!"

"No," Duncan scowled. "I have to wear it until Sunday. Ask Mal and maybe he'll give it to you then."

"But you don't understand!" Gwen protested. "Courtney is in the mall right now!" She grabbed Duncan and they ducked underneath the escalator. Gwen pointed to a Leonidas shop which was about a couple of metres from where she and Duncan were crouching.

"Can you see Courtney in there through the window?" Gwen whispered, giddily. She pointed to Courtney through the big window, who was at the counter picking out which pralines she wanted. "She buys chocolates from this shop at 13:15 every Tuesday. Courtney loves Leonidas; it's her favourite chocolate maker in the whole wide world! When she comes out, I'm going to surprise her with that dress you have on you. Do you mind taking it off?"

"Actually, I do mind," Duncan replied. "I have to wear that dress for a week. Maybe next Tuesday you can give Courtney the dress."

"I need it now!" Gwen protested. She was getting impatient. "I can't wait a week, Duncan."

"Well that's too bad," said Duncan. He was getting impatient.

So was Gwen. "Give me the fucking dress, you asshole!" she ordered.

"Fuck off!" Duncan retorted, backing away from Gwen. Gwen was not having any of it, so she pounced on Duncan.

"Give it!" Gwen hissed.

"No!" Duncan hissed back.

"Give it!"

"No!"

"GIVE IT!"

"NO!"

As they were fighting, Courtney sauntered out of the chocolate shop grinning to herself. She was looking forward to tonight, so she could eat the chocolates with Chris after dinner. However, as she walked out of the shop, the first thing she saw was Duncan and Gwen wrestling each other under the escalator. Now, Courtney was just looking forward to getting the hell out of the shopping centre completely. Unfortunately for her, Gwen saw her.

"COURTNEY!" Gwen chirped, as she stood up and avoided banging her head off the escalator. Courtney groaned as Gwen ran up to her.

"I have a dress I'd like you to try on, assuming that cunt Duncan will give it to me!" Gwen grinned.

"Whatever it is, Gothy, I am not wearing it!" Courtney sighed. "Now leave me alone! I have a restraining order against you, remember?!"

Duncan stood up and banged his head off the escalator. Courtney noticed him.

"Hey Duncan," said Courtney. She analysed him a bit further. "Why are you wearing a dress? This isn't like you at all," she asked him. She suddenly remembered. "Oh, what did you do to Mal this time?"

"I don't want to talk about it," Duncan sighed. "I just want to get my shopping done and do enough shopping so that I won't have to show my face in this dump for the rest of the week."

Courtney gave Duncan a sympathetic look and said: "Well, good luck with that. Hopefully Mal will reward you for this. I guess I'll see you around." She disappeared into the crowd. Gwen would have followed after her had she not had been in an awkward predicament with Sierra.

"Get the hell outta here!" Sierra yelled at Gwen. "Courtney is one of my best customers, which is why I've banned you from being anywhere near the store on Tuesdays!" Gwen scurried out of the area in fear of Sierra because Sierra is allowed to bring a gun into the shopping centre.

"Creeper," Sierra muttered, as she marched back into her sweetshop.

Duncan decided to get as much groceries as he could carry while at the supermarket. While he was there, many more people were laughing at him and catcalling him. Duncan walked all the way home with two full shopping bags. While this would be convenient for him in the long run, this also left him with limited options when Ezekiel lifted up Duncan's skirt as Duncan walked by the playground – this was in the month of August, by the way. In the end, Duncan used the back of his left heel and ten seconds later Ezekiel was on the ground, clutching his crotch in agony.

Wednesday and Thursday were not too bad, as Duncan did not need to leave the house on those days. All he had to do was stay indoors, clean the house, do the laundry, iron the clothes and prepare the dinners for Mal. However, on Thursday night, Mal told Duncan to cut the grass. So, on Friday, that was what Duncan did. In the fucking dress! No less. Worst of all, the lawnmower was broken, so Duncan was forced to utilise the hedge trimmer instead. Duncan had no trouble cutting the grass in the back garden, aside from the fact that it took Duncan three hours and he had to use the extension cords, which were burdensome in their own right.

Sadly, the front garden also had grass that needed to be cut. As Duncan was doing that, Noah happened to have been walking home from work, passing by Duncan's house.

"Well, hello there, m'lady," Noah mused.

"I'll get you with this hedge trimmer if you don't piss off," Duncan threatened Noah.

"Just a friendly reminder that I am your husband's doctor, so this wouldn't be a good idea," Noah quipped.

"We can always replace you with your doctor," Duncan snarled.

"Why would Mal want to do that, Misses?" Noah jeered, as he walked down the street.

"Turd!" Duncan yelled after Noah.

On Saturday, Mal was off work. This meant that Mal wanted to do something outside the house. In turn, this meant that Duncan had to get involved. Mal decided he wanted to try out that new Italian pizzeria for lunch at the shopping centre with Duncan. In the fucking dress! No less. To top it all off, Mal insisted that they walk to the shopping centre.

"I can't believe you're making me do this! Why can't we just have a takeaway and try out that new place tomorrow?!" Duncan whined, as they walked down the street.

"Well, it's your last day in that dress until you piss in the bed or on the couch again," Mal replied, laughing. "So, I thought we'd make this day special and have a little husband and husband time. Or should I say, husband and wife time?!"

"You're such a pig," Duncan scoffed, grabbing hold of Mal's elbow because Mal told him earlier that day that Duncan had to do it.

"It isn't unusual for feminist women to call men pigs," Mal laughed.

As they continued their walk, Mal and Duncan encountered Jo. She looked at Duncan but opted not to whistle at him.

"Hey Mal! Didn't realise you were bisexual!" Jo cackled. Duncan smirked at Mal when she said that. However, Mal was prepared for this.

"Much like any person who has sex with you?" Mal quipped. Jo's face went red and she stormed off.

"Mal, that was impressive," said Duncan.

"Just looking out for my Sweetie," Mal teased, lifting the tiara to rub Duncan's head. Duncan hates it when Mal does that in public, but at the same time, he enjoyed that rub.

Ten minutes later, Mal and Duncan made it to the shopping centre and walked all the way down to the escalators. They went upstairs where that restaurant was located and sat down. Aside from a couple of angry glares from a family headed by a lesbian couple who later demanded to sit at a table as far away from Duncan and Mal as possible, their time at the restaurant was for the most part uneventful. For starters, Mal had garlic doughballs while Duncan had garlic bread. For main course, Mal had a pepperoni pizza while Duncan had a Cajun chicken pizza. For dessert, Mal had a lemon sorbet while Duncan had a strawberry gelato, which Mal found amusing.

After he paid for the bill, Mal lead Duncan back downstairs to go to Leonidas.

"Why are we going in there? We already had dessert," Duncan protested, as Mal dragged Duncan into the shop.

"We've only had part one of our dessert, if you know what I mean," Mal winked at Duncan. "This is for part three."

"Ha-ha, don't you mean part two?" Duncan snorted.

"No Sweetie, I meant to say part three," Mal laughed.

Duncan and Mal walked up to the counter and looked at all of the chocolates behind the glass shield. Sierra was not behind the counter, but Gwen rose up from behind the counter.

"Hey, how can I help you guys?" Gwen beamed.

Duncan was surprised by this. "You work here now?" he asked.

"Not really," Gwen shrugged. "Just filling in for Sierra while she's having her lunch."

"What's in it for you?" Duncan demanded.

"Your dress," said Gwen, as her facial expression changed from welcoming to outright hostile.

"I never told anyone we were going to Leonidas at this time and date," Mal told Gwen, looking at the creepy Goth with suspicion.

"I don't care!" Gwen hissed, reaching over the counter in an attempt to grab at Duncan, but Duncan swiftly got behind Mal. "Give me the goddamn dress so that Courtney can wear it and cum in it!" Gwen ordered.

"You can have it when I'm done with it!" Duncan yelled at Gwen.

"Except that Sweetie will never be done with it, so you're not getting it, Gwen!" Mal yelled at Gwen. Gwen climbed on top of the counter.

"This is your last chance, Duncan!" Gwen warned the former delinquent. "Strip and give me the dress right now, or I will show you the real reason why the Belgians make lots of chocolates!"

Mal had had enough. "Let's go find Sierra," he told Duncan. Just after saying that, Sierra appeared at the door and saw the commotion.

"GWEN!" Sierra yelled, running towards Gwen. "That's it! You're banned for life from my store!" Just before she could grab Gwen by the hand and throw her out, Bridgette and Geoff showed up.

"Hey, we're on our way to go visit Courtney, so we're stopping by to buy some delicious Belgian sweets," lied Bridgette.

"Can I come with you?!" Gwen asked.

"Of course, you can, dudette," Geoff smiled. "Courtney would be happy to see you," he lied, licking his lips. Sierra knew exactly what was going on and eagerly helped Geoff, Bridgette and Gwen pick out their sweets and took their money. When they were gone, Sierra got down on her knees to untie the ropes from around Lindsay's feet and hands and gently remove the gag from her mouth.

"Sorry about that, Lindsay," said Sierra. "I'll let you go home early and pay you for the full day."

"Thanks," Lindsay sighed. "I'm gonna kill that fucking bitch, Greta, for doing this to me!"

An hour later, Duncan and Mal were home. Mal put the box of chocolates in the kitchen cabinet.

"Can I have a sweet now?" Duncan asked.

"It's not good to eat right before exercising, Sweetie." Mal told Duncan.

"I'm not doing squats in this dress," Duncan scoffed.

"You will if you have to wear that dress again," Mal chuckled. "But no, we're not doing that type of exercise. Instead I'm gonna fuck you in that dress!"

Duncan considered. "Can't you just sodomise me in my camouflage chaps?" he suggested.

"We can do that tomorrow," said Mal. "No chocolate until I've had sex with you in that dress."

"Let's just get this over with," Duncan sighed, as Mal swept Duncan off his feet and carried him bridal style upstairs to their bedroom. Mal laid Duncan stomach-down on the bed and pulled up the skirt, revealing a sizeable hole where Duncan's anus is.

"Oh, that explains the hole!" Duncan glared at Mal, as the latter stripped naked and grabbed his penis.

"Precisely, my precious," Mal grinned, as he walked around the bed to get to Duncan's face. "How about a good fluffing to get you master started, eh?"

Duncan stopped muttering and wrapped his tongue around Duncan's cock. After a few licks, he took the penis inside his mouth and proceeded to deep-throat on the organ. After three thrusts, Mal was ready to get to the main act. He returned to his position behind Duncan and entered. Duncan immediately unleashed quite a brutally masculine moan as Mal's foreskin gently scraped Duncan's prostate gland.

Mal chuckled to himself. "Oh, Sweetie, that manly roar of yours contrasts with your sissy appearance. It was almost easy to forget that you're such a little bitch."

"It takes a real man to take it up the arse," Duncan replied, panting.

"Whatever helps you sleep at night, Darling," Mal laughed, as he continued to penetrate Duncan hard and slapped Duncan's thigh, eliciting more moans from Duncan. Ten minutes later, Mal removed his penis from Duncan's butthole.

"Why'd you pull out?" Duncan demanded.

"I'm about to cum, but I don't want to cum inside you, Sweetie," said Mal, removing one of Duncan's high heels. He handed it to Duncan. "I want you to lay on your back and shove it up your ass until I cum," Mal instructed.

Duncan was shocked by this request. He's never done this before. But there is always a first time, so he complied. He inserted the back of the heel inside his crack and proceeded to penetrate. Mal watched in delight as he wanked himself off. Just as he was about to ejaculate, Mal stepped onto the bed and stood over Duncan before spunking on the dress. Duncan lifted his torso and stretched his tongue out to catch some of Mal's droppings. Mal noticed it and smirked at his husband.

"What a greedy little slapper," Mal teased. "Since when did I give you permission to take some of my cum?"

"I guess Sweetie is such a naughty little bitch," said Duncan.

"That's right," Mal laughed. He jumped off the bed. "As punishment, you'll have to lick your anal residues off the heel." Duncan quickly obeyed without any second thought. Meanwhile, Mal removed the other high heel and handed it to Duncan.

"As for this heel, your owner wants you to kneel on the bed and spunk into this heel," Mal commanded. Again, Duncan complied and three minutes later, he ejaculated into the heel, unleashing the most thunderous roar Mal has heard all week.

Mal was impressed. "Well done, Sweetie. Let's get you out of the dress, have a nice shower together, get into our pyjamas and then we can have our sweets."

Duncan sighed blissfully. "Sounds good!"

"Sweetie loves his chocolate sweeties, doesn't he?" Mal teased.

Duncan nodded. "Yes, he does."

If you want more Malcan like this, I'll Cover Angel and Collins has a few Malcan fics of her own. Plus, we both collaborate on Total Drama Prison, which has a lot of Malcan as well as some other sexy and hilarious shit.