This really cannot be happening, there is no freaking way this is actually happening!

"Well, I mean the lunch was just sitting there in the fridge and I happened to also like Root beer so I really don't see the issue here man."

"You- how could you not notice the big honking yellow sticky note on it with my name?! There is no possible way you could somehow miss that type of visual cue!"

"Well I am sorry that I ate your food, but on the bright side I can say with certainty that your food was delicious!"

"This is not a fucking joke goddammit, you have done this multiple times now, and you have always spouted that same lame ass excuse!"

"I would watch your tone there bucko and remember that I'm the manager here and you are the worker. On my word, I could easily have you fired from here you damn loser."

After that I did what any employee would do when their boss is a complete asshole, I grit my teeth, sucked it up and went back to work in a less than stellar mood.

It seemed the world was determined to mess with me because then I had to deal with a customer who let's just say was not being the best person to tend to.

"Hi, yes I bought this game for my son and I'm very unsatisfied with the content that was displayed and wish to return the game for my full refund." The lady at the counter stated.

"Ok, ma'am, I can do that for you right here, I just need to make sure the game is in working condition and a receipt in order to complete this refund." I responded with a plastic smile on my face, my frayed mood from earlier still taking its toll.

She handed me the game and I opened the case to inspect the disc to see if it was in working condition. Flipping the disc over revealed a few minor scratches on it from obvious play but otherwise, it was able to be sold later. It also really helped that the game case itself seemed to be in good condition.

"Alright everything seems to be in order I just need the receipt in order to complete the refund process, ma'am." I responded to her after I had completely finished checking to make sure the game worked.

"Well I don't have a receipt but I still want you to do a refund." She said matter of factly

My frayed mood began to show itself slowly.

"Ma'am, the policy of the store is that you need the receipt and the game is in working condition and while you have the game in working condition, we cannot complete this refund without the receipt which is very important." I bit out while progressively getting louder.

The lady did not take to kindly to my tone and decided to start making a scene, " EXCUSE ME! I don't know who you think you are but you are not going to deny me my rightful refund! I want my money back now!"

I started to clench both my jaw and my fist, my mood taking an even further dive towards the negative. Why can't anything ever be easy?

"Ma'am you cannot get a refund without a receipt, I'm sorry but that is store policy. I can give you back your game and tell you to come back with the receipt and we can complete this whole affair." I spoke to her while extending the game for her to take back.

The lady got mad at that, snatched the game out my hand and stomped off towards the door but not before deciding that she would cause me some trouble.

"Here's what I think of your POLICY!" she then proceeds to start knocking over display cases, mess up the shelves and in general causing trouble for the other customers that are in the store. I quickly come around the counter to stop her from doing all this but she's darting around the store doing all of this.

I eventually was able to catch her with the help of some of the other employees who hold her while I call the police. My lunch stealing manager took this time to ask what had happened and I relay the whole incident to him word for word so nothing is misunderstood or anything of the sort. After I finished telling him what happened he asked me why didn't I just give her the refund and I said because that goes against the store policy. He said that all the damage was going to be coming out of my pay.

My frayed mood finally came to the forefront and in a brilliant move decided that I was sick and tired of getting bossed around by a person who would repeatedly eat his employees' food and then punish his employee for stopping someone from vandalizing the store.

"GO FUCK YOURSELF YOU STUPID PIECE OF SLIMY GARBAGE! YOU KNOW WHAT I FUCKING QUIT!" I roared at him, my chest heaving from yelling and generally being very upset that my manager didn't have my back. I tore workshirt, threw it at his gobsmacked face, went to the back to gather my stuff and left out the door in a flash because I did not want that asshole to see me cry.

So yeah, I quit the job because of that and now here I am, a twenty-two-year-old man who has no job, no income, and no other discernible skills.

"Fantastic. What a mess you ended up getting yourself into this time, Jace. Thanks to your momentary lapse in judgment, you now have no job, and so with no way to make money to give to that sorry excuse of a landlord in order to continue living in this small, cramped apartment," I said while staring at my reflection in the mirror. In an attempt to make myself feel a bit better I tried to look at the positives of the situation.

"Now, all you gotta do is get a different job with better pay within a couple of months in order to continue to pay the rent to continue to live in the dirty ass rundown apartment complex," I said to my reflection. My reflection wasn't much help, so I then tried to concentrate on happier thoughts.

"Okay, so you do not have a job anymore. That means no more waking up early, no more annoying children and condescending parents, and best of all-no more Bob!" I thought to myself I'll readily admit that the last part about no Bob is what really swayed me into getting out of my funk of being an unemployed bum now. So with that, I made my way into my Bob-less living room, kicking off my running shoes and taking off that accursed game store shirt for the final time before tossing both on the floor at my door. In a t-shirt and blue jeans, I sit on my couch and flip through TV channels, looking for something to watch.

"Carmen! W-why? How could you sleep with my half-brother who is also my cousin and my boyfriend all at one time?! I trusted you!" Horrible, cheesy and annoying soap opera? Nope.

"And then I said 'what a loser' *canned applause*" Annoying and mind-numbingly stupid reality TV show about pointless things? Hell to the no.

"I'm going to be king of the pirate- "Anime that really irritates the fuck outta me with its annoying characters? I'd rather go back to watching that horribly acted soap opera.

Frustrated at not finding anything to watch, I turn to the next best thing to do: Play and struggle through video games for the rest of the night. Getting up off the couch and walking up to the cabinet that my TV sits upon, I rummage around in the drawers until I find my video game case.

"Let's see here: SSX….not in the mood for snowboarding…Dragon Age….dragon slaying gets tiring after a while and I don't have the patience to actually go do sidequests. The only reason I would play the game would be for Morrigan." I zone out caught up in thoughts of Morrigan in skimpy clothing, dancing around for me.

"Hehe, Morrigan sure is one hot mage. She could save my life with a 'dark ritual' anytime- if you know what I mean," I say, voicing my more dirty thoughts aloud, but then shake my head clearing it of any lingering scantily-clad Morrigans.

"Okay, back to choosing a game: Rainbow Six…no…ah ha here we go, Mass Effect!" I yell out, holding up my copy of Mass Effect that I had yet to play thanks to my job…but now that I'm unemployed, I no longer have to worry about that!

I press the power button on my Xbox 360 and wait for it to hit the dashboard screen before opening up the disc tray. Setting Mass Effect inside the disc tray, I slightly nudge the tray, causing it to automatically pull it and the game back inside the console. I then grab my controller from atop the console and sit back down on the couch and prepare to vegetate for the rest of the night.

*Hours later*

"Shepard has got to have the patience of a damned saint! I don't think I could handle the Council with the same amount of patience that she has. Especially that asshole Turian councilor who has the gall to use air quotes," I said as I got to a save-point and turned off the console shortly after to get ready for bed.

I left my couch and made my way to my room to gather up some bed clothes before heading to the bathroom again. Frigid water greeted my skin, and shortly after so did the Old Spice shampoo that I bought in hopes of attracting women. Needless to say, that didn't work at frickin' all. After thoroughly washing my body and getting out of the shower, I grabbed my one good towel and dried myself off before putting on my bedclothes, exiting the bathroom, and finally heading off to my bedroom to sleep.

This, ladies and gentlemen, is where... my life ended up getting completely and incomprehensibly weird.

Two seconds after I fell asleep, my eyes snapped open, only to be greeted by…absolutely nothing but a huge white expanse. Getting up off of the floor-I think it was a floor-I did the natural thing.

"Hello? Is there anyone there? Am I dreaming or is this someone's idea of a joke?" I shouted. All that earned me was hearing my voice echo on for what seemed like miles and miles. After making the observation that I'm completely and utterly alone in what seemed an endless expanse, I did the natural thing one does in such a situation.

I rationally and calmly reacted to the situation, I assessed what I could possibly do, an-

"Oh my god, I'm going to die here! I'm all alone! There's no-one here wherever this is! As if losing my job and my last bit of food wasn't bad enough now I'm stuck in some forsaken void! Why are the fates so cruel?!"

…Okay I'll be honest: I completely and utterly lost it. What would you have done if you'd just woken up in a place like this with nothing in sight but a table and a couple of chairs and…wait…

"That wasn't here before…or maybe it was and I was too busy freaking out about my current dilemma," I say after regaining my composure from my recent breakdown. I then made my way toward the chair nearest to me and sat down at it. The table was really unremarkable, as were the chairs. The color of the set was a dull brown and at any other time I wouldn't have cared for it, but it is the only other thing in this place that wasn't white I didn't really care. It was something else besides me that was here and that was enough for me. Though I do have to wonder…

Why are there two chairs here when as far as I can tell that I'm the only person currently he-

"Hiya, you are kind of sitting in my chair right now."

I think I reacted to the sudden appearance of a voice from behind me rather appropriately.

"HOLY SHIT!" I exclaimed while launching myself off the chair in question and face planting all at the same time. Feminine laughter erupted from the voice's origin point while I picked myself off the floor, grasping onto the table for support. Rubbing my aching face I look over my shoulder to see a woman with long flowing blond hair, a curvy supermodel figure and wearing a long white dress and no shoes.

I'll be honest with you: I may have gawked a bit. But just a bit-you would, too.

After I shut my jaw, I took my seat at the table, and the supermodel took the other seat across from me, and we both silently stared at each other for an interminable amount of time until the woman inhaled and then began speaking

"So…I bet you're wondering how you ended up in this place, Mr. Spicer, hmm?" she asked me, leaning into the back of her chair. I scoffed at the question and responded with a look that plainly said "No shit, Sherlock."

Ignoring the complete and utter incredulity of the previous statement I reply, "Yes but barring that who exactly are you, how did you get here along with this table and chair set, and where exactly is here?!"

The woman huffed, crossed her arms in front of her and responded with, "Well, in short, my name is Alena and I'm the goddess who pulled you from your boring human life to..." here she abruptly stood up on the chair and put one foot on the table before pointing at me."…be my source of entertainment!" she finishes. I sit there looking at her with my hand on my chin and a completely blank expression on my face; however, my thoughts were racing a mile a minute trying to figure a way out of this situation.

So some crazy chick named Alena, who is admittedly hot, is trying to get me to 'entertain' her under the delusion that she's some sort of omnipotent being and has kidnapped me from my home and put me in this white room. Think carefully about what you say next, buddy.

I leaned forward and responded with the most logical response one could possibly give to someone who thought they were a god: "Oh yeah? Prove it!" I shouted as I stood from the chair and shot a challenging smirk like one of those arrogant anime people. Alena looked pretty surprised I called her on her bullshit, and I thought I now had the upper hand. Closing my eyes with a satisfied smirk upon my face, I leaned back on my chair, crossing my arms and mentally patting myself on the back.

Ha! She didn't expect that! Now all I have to do is smooth talk my way into getting her to let me out of…wherever she currently has me.

I'm soon shaken out of my thoughts by a pressure on my lap, which I assumed to be Alena. Sighing and rubbing the area between my eyes I spoke, "So uh not that having a hot lady on my lap isn't fun and all. You kind of kidnapped me and brought to some random place. So I think you'd understand if I told you to get off of my lap." When I didn't get a response and I still felt the pressure on my lap I decided to open my eyes and repeat my earlier statement when I'm greeted with the visage of not the self-proclaimed goddess Alena, but Morrigan from Bioware's Dragon Age franchise.

Yes, Morrigan from Dragon Age is currently sitting in my lap. While my brain restarted, Alena's smug looking face came into sight and she spoke, "What was it you said about Morrigan earlier in your apartment? Ooohh yeaah. I remember now, it was 'Morrigan could save my life with a 'dark ritual' anytime." She finished with a look directed at me that just screamed 'I told you so'.

Morrigan, her yellow eyes alight with amusement, decided that now would be a good time to speak up after being silent since her arrival at this little bit of news, "Truly? You'd be willing to participate in a 'dark ritual' with me? Well, how could I possibly resist such a handsome, strong man such as you? I do hope that you don't mind a little...discomfort," she said as she lazily stroked the side of my face with her finger. I just sat there in silence still coming to grips with the fact that an honest to god (or should I say goddess) had apparently kidnapped me. Apparently, she'd had enough fun at my expense. She waved her hand and Morrigan was gone as if she had never been there, to begin with. Looking toward the goddess who was seated across from me, I asked the most obvious question.

"Why exactly did you pick me and not someone else?"

Alena smiled and replied, "Because you are interesting and because it was either you or that annoying yellow-haired boy who wore that hideous orange jumpsuit and shouted at the top of his lungs all the time." I racked my brain trying to think who I knew had that kind of- and then it hit me like a lightning bolt. Jumping to my feet and pointing at her I interrupted," WOAH! You're telling me that it was either me or Naruto?! Naruto Uzumaki! The same Naruto that has a basically limitless amount of power and a plethora of planetary-level destruction techniques?!"

She tilted her head and merely responded with, "Yes that's right Jace. Now, I'd appreciate it if you'd let me finish." Slumping back into my chair I looked back at her and waved my hand as a signal to go on and continue
*One information dump later*

"So you basically are going to give me super powers to go and do anything?"

"Yep."

"In any dimension?"

"Basically."

"As long as I don't upset the balance or end up destroying the dimension."

"Pretty much."

A long silence settles in between the two of us and is not broken for what seems like an eternity.

I keep my face blank for the longest time and tossed around the pros and cons of such a situation in my head.

In reality, the choice didn't take more than a couple of seconds.

I sighed and looked up at Alena, her slim face showing her anticipation for my decision. I smirked at her and said, "Alright I'll do it." Her face lit up in obvious happiness at my choice, after which she did a little victory dance that I had to admit was pretty cute. Interrupting her little moment to get her attention, I coughed into my hand. She jumped back to the here and now, but my move had the unintended side effect of getting her to hug me and press her ample bust into my face.

"Oh thank you so much, Jace! I'll make sure that you have so much fun. You've made this goddess the happiest goddess to ever exist!" Alena thanked me while basically suffocating me with her huge love pillows. She finally let up on the hug which let me quickly catch my breath and then she sat down at the table. I did, too. She and I then got down to business hashing out the little details.