At the end of October, a few weeks after Derrick had come to his new home, Deeks and Kensi asked him if he wanted to hold a service for his mom. He agreed to the idea and together they decided to ask Sam to take them out on his boat to scatter Mosley's ashes at sea. The team accompanied them and they each spoke a few words about her, mostly focusing on her dedication to her son. Hetty told the best stories, but later Derrick confessed to Deeks that he found her a bit terrifying. Deeks agreed.

That day was also the start of a new friendship between Derrick and Sam. Derrick seemed a little in awe of Sam, whose military bearing and obvious physical strength should have made him intimidating, but whose kindness and understanding, and experience with kids, made him approachable.

"We scattered my wife's ashes at sea too, after she was killed," Sam told him when they first headed out of the marina.

"How did she die?" Derrick asked somberly.

"There was a bad guy who was angry that I stopped him from hurting people. He wanted to hurt me," Sam explained.

After a few minutes, when they had cleared the breakwater, Derrick asked, "Did you feel like it was your fault?"

"Yeah, I did. Sometimes I still do. But I know deep down that I was doing my job, and my wife was proud of me for protecting people. There was nothing I could have done differently. It wasn't something I could control."

Derrick considered Sam's words as he looked out at the endless ocean. He felt small in the vast openness, but he was thankful to have so many kind people looking out for him.

In November Deeks and Kensi updated their own wills, to ensure Derrick would have new guardians if the worst happened. They named multiple possibilities, starting with their moms, and then Sam, and finally Nell and Eric. They were grateful to have so many loving options, and glad these wonderful people could spend time with Derrick even now, as grandmas and honorary uncles and aunt.

By this point the serious commitment they had taken on by becoming Derrick's guardians had truly sunken in. To help him deal with the trauma he had experienced, they arranged for him to talk to a child psychologist. Then, after much discussion, they agreed that Deeks would step down from his liaison position at NCIS and look for a safer job. He ended up talking to a buddy from law school whose firm specialized in representing non-profits, and Deeks started work there on a part-time basis, giving him plenty of time to look after Derrick.

Kensi needed a bit more time to come to terms with leaving the job she loved so much.

"I define myself by what I do, Deeks," she told him.

"Oh, Kens," he replied, "You are so much more than your job. You know that, right?"

"I do, Deeks. I just need a little more time to accept that things are changing," she said a little sheepishly.

"Changing for the better, Kensi. There's so much more we can do together," Deeks promised her while leaning in for a kiss.

By the end of November, it was clear that Derrick's best friend in the world had become his dog, Monty. Derrick had continued to fret about his safety, especially when they went out to crowded places. Monty took it upon himself to guard Derrick whenever they were together, evidently committing to his K-9 LAPD oath to protect and serve with utter seriousness. They found that walking Monty was one of the few surefire ways they could easily get Derrick out of the house.

Derrick, never having had a pet before, relished taking care of Monty, choosing fancy food and special treats at the pet food store, brushing his scraggly coat, and playing with fancy new toys. The first time they heard Derrick giggle was when he dressed Monty up in his Harry Potter Halloween costume, complete with red and yellow house scarf, round eyeglasses, a toy owl that Monty carried in his mouth and later tore into pieces, and a robe that dragged behind him and quickly tangled the poor dog up into a big pile of cloth and fur.

Derrick's attentive care was returned twice over by the dog's complete loyalty and faithfulness. Monty seemed to almost forget that he had two other people in the house who loved him. At one point Deeks said to Kensi, "We should have gotten Monty his own boy a long time ago."

By the beginning of December, they had made plans for Derrick to start school. They worried he might be behind in his studies, but fortunately testing showed that the home schooling his father had provided actually put him ahead in some subjects. Kensi took him out to collect some school supplies the weekend before he was to start, and as they drove, she picked up on a negative vibe radiating off him. When they parked in the Target lot, she nudged him to share what was bothering him.

"I haven't been in school since like first grade. I don't know how to act or what to do. And what if I don't make any friends?" he finally spewed out what had clearly been building up inside him for some time.

"I know this is scary-" started Kensi before Derrick interrupted to continue his download.

"I wish she had never come to get me. I wish I was still with my dad!" he shouted. "If she hadn't, my dad would still be alive, and so would she!"

Kensi schooled her features, absorbing Derrick's anger and desperately hoping she could comfort him. "Oh, Sweetie," she said. "Everything you say is true. I would be scared to go to a new school too. And as for your mom… You know she loved you so much, right?"

Derrick gave a small nod. Kensi debated on the right thing to say, and decided to try honesty, and a universal truth.

"Well, it's simply not in a mother's DNA to not love her child with everything she has. A mom can't stop feeling that way even if they wanted to. Your mom was compelled to find you because she loved you so, so much and wanted you to be safe."

Derrick had calmed himself, but said glumly, "Your mom didn't. Miss Julia left you alone after your dad died."

Kensi hadn't expected Derrick to go there, but she continued to calmly explain. "She didn't find out about that until after I had run away. It wasn't her fault. She and I didn't communicate very well. But you know what? We've made up for it since then." She leaned a little closer to Derrick, lowering her voice to make sure she had his attention," And for the record? I would never let that happen between the two of us. I will always, always be there to help you through bad things and to celebrate good things. OK?"

"OK."

Starting school went more smoothly than anyone, particularly Derrick, expected. Having so many teachers to learn from energized him, and he even made a few new friends.

Around the house, he continually looked for ways to pitch in. Deeks thought it was out of worry that he needed to earn his keep. Derrick found particular joy from cooking and baking. Most nights if he didn't have too much homework, he helped Deeks put dinner together, which they enjoyed with Kensi if she got home from work in time. Deeks let Derrick serve as creative director, and he pulled recipes from the Internet that they enjoyed trying.

In January he asked to bake Deeks' birthday cake. Kensi let him and Miss Bertie take the lead, and they created a beautiful, if slightly crooked, ocean-themed cake with an ombre pattern of messy blue frosting for the waves, and cookie crumb sand around the base. It was Deeks' favorite birthday ever.

At the beginning of February, Derrick's new friends made plans to go to a movie and invited him along. He happily agreed, telling them that he'd ask Marty to drop him off at the theater. As the time for leaving the house approached, he sat quietly on the front steps, absentmindedly petting Monty, who sat calmly at his side. Marty, sensing something amiss, sat down beside him.

Looking straight ahead, Derrick asked quietly, "Am I always going to feel scared?".

Deeks' heart broke just a little at Derrick's continued struggles. "No, Buddy, you won't," he quickly assured him.

"I hate feeling like this," Derrick replied.

"I know," Deeks said. He thought about how to convey to Derrick a sense of hope that he would, someday soon, feel better, and after a moment added, "Do you know what courage is, Derrick?"

"Being brave?" Derrick answered with a questioning voice.

"Yeah, being brave," agreed Deeks. "But more than that, it's being brave even when you're afraid. And that's what you've been doing from the time I met you. You're afraid but you still try new things, you still go out to new places. You don't let your fear stop you. And that means that you're courageous. And I really admire that about you."

"Thanks," Derrick said, "But I'd rather just not be afraid."

Deeks huffed out a small chuckle. The kid had common sense. "Yeah, I get that," he said, "And you won't. You know, I had a bad thing happen to me at work once. I got hurt and I was really afraid, even though the bad guys were all… in jail. I still just hid out in my house. I didn't even want to go to the beach or to surf."

"How did you get better?" Derrick asked.

"Well, a couple things helped. One was talking to people. I talked to a therapist, like you've been doing with Dr. Delaware. I talked to Kensi too. And another was that it just took time. Every day got just a tiny bit better, and I was able to do a little bit more before the fear would pop up. And eventually I stopped being afraid at all."

Derrick thought this through and after a minute stood up and told Deeks, "OK, let's go. I don't want to be late."

Over time, Derrick's circle of friends slowly grew. They met up for movies or to play video games or watch basketball on TV. Getting out of the house regularly, he began to look forward, to what fun they might have in the summer, more often than he found himself looking behind him, at the sadness and danger he had experienced.

Kip had heard about Derrick's initially rocky reentry to school, and he made sure to invite the boy and his new friends into the Clippers locker room after a game. It was the most fun Derrick ever remembered having.

By the end of March Kensi finally transitioned to a new role at NCIS working with the forensics team. She felt an incredible sense of melancholy as the move approached, even as deep down she knew it was the right thing. She was grateful to not have to say goodbye to the team, continuing to work out of the mission and seeing them on a regular basis. Only now, when she went into the field, it was to collect evidence, not to get shot at by bad guys.

Sam became a regular fixture in Derrick's life, giving him a role model the polar opposite of his father. While Derrick didn't love going out on the water, he did like helping Sam fix things on his boat. And he enjoyed hearing Sam lecture at length about the relative pros and cons of each actor who had portrayed James Bond as they worked their way through his box set. In April Derrick got to briefly meet Kam when she came home for Spring Break and was hoping to spend more time with her over the summer. On the side, Deeks started teasing Sam about how they might become related by marriage. Sam shuddered good-naturedly at the thought.

Derrick appreciated Miss Julia's beautiful home that felt as big as a mansion, and how she would take him out for meals at all kinds of restaurants where he could get recipe ideas. He thought Miss Bertie was really funny and loved hearing stories about all the trouble Marty got into as a boy.

One Saturday morning in May, Deeks and Derrick went to the bar to help Roberta do some cleaning and organizing. Roberta heard about Derrick meeting Kam and began regaling him with stories of young Marty's romantic exploits. Some ended in heartbreak, some in laughter (mostly at Deeks' expense). At one point she turned to Derrick, who was unpacking some new glassware, and told him, "You Kiddo, will break a lot of hearts yourself."

Derrick looked to Deeks to see if he would help steer the conversation in a less embarrassing direction, but Deeks only shrugged and grinned.

Roberta continued, "Oh, yeah. With those big brown eyes and that gorgeous smile, plus those smarts, you got the whole package. You're gonna need to learn how to let them down easy."

Derrick rolled his eyes and said a sarcastic, "O-kay."

"You just wait and see. I already know that you'll be kind and respectful, because that's just who you are. Just always remember how important that is. No matter how angry you are at the world, never ever take it out on the people you love, OK?"

Deeks frowned at the darker direction his mom was taking the conversation and decided to put a stop to it before she shared one too many stories. "OK, mom. Leave the boy alone- he's had enough of your advice about his love life." Changing the subject, Deeks said, "Hey Derrick, I bet with all the supplies in the kitchen, you could create something pretty awesome for our lunch. Wanna check it out?"

Happy to be free from the conversation, Derrick jumped up and went off to explore the culinary possibilities.

One weekend in June Deeks and Derrick went for a hike in the hills above Temescal Canyon. Kensi begged off, feeling tired and wanting to relax at home. As they passed the tiny trickle of a waterfall that marked the trail's mid-way point, Derrick asked Deeks, "Marty, was my dad a criminal?"

Deeks didn't outwardly react, and went with a lawyerly reply of, "What did your mom tell you about him?"

"That he took me away from her, and that he was a bad man," Derrick explained. "That he broke the law and hurt people."

Deeks asked, "How do you feel about that?"

"He was nice to me," Derrick replied.

"I'm glad to hear that," Deeks told him, relieved that Derrick's father had apparently done a surprisingly good job of sheltering Derrick from his bad guy activities and personality.

"Is it OK that I still loved him?" asked Derrick.

"Absolutely," Deeks assured him, thinking about his troubled relationship with his own father. "He was your dad." As they rounded the high point of the hike and the ocean came into view, Deeks stopped walking and looked out at the vista, immediately feeling more at peace. Derrick came up and stood beside him. "You know I told you about how my dad was a terrible person and he hurt me and Miss Bertie?"

"Yeah," Derrick said as he looked up at Deeks.

"Well, he eventually went to jail for a while, and then I never saw him again when he got out," Deeks explained. "One day a few years ago, I found out that he had died in a car accident, and I was sad. Even though he had been an awful father, he was still the only father I had, and at some level I still felt a link to him, and I still mourned his death."

"Do you think I'll become a criminal like my dad?" Derrick asked, looking into Deeks' eyes, preparing to assess the honesty of whatever response Deeks would give.

The question hit close to home but Deeks knew this was one worry he could allay. "Wow, no, Derrick," he replied with certainty. "But I get why you're worried. I've always been worried that I'll turn into my dad, that I might hurt my family like he did. But you know what?"

"What?"

"Even if we have things in common with our fathers, things that we inherited, we also have the ability to choose whether or not to be like them. We can decide. And I've decided to reject that part of my father that's inside me, the part that might ever want to hurt people."

"I don't think you're anything like your father," Derrick told Deeks.

Deeks inhaled a surprised breath and smiled slightly, reaching out to hug the boy, saying, "Thanks, Derrick, that means a lot to me."

Derrick didn't take to the ocean, seeming to find the powerful waves intimidating, no matter how hard Deeks worked to tempt him to try surfing, or even paddleboarding or kayaking. He did, on the other hand, feel comfortable in the desert. They discovered this in July on a very hot day trip to Joshua Tree, noting how relaxed and happy he seemed as they walked among the distinctive succulents that looked torn from a Dr. Seuss book. Deeks recalled Hetty's long-ago advice about a big brother program, when she had warned him that he could never predict who would become his child. He wryly noted that at least Derrick hadn't yet shown any interest in German opera. Maybe hiking in the hills above the Santa Monica Mountains would have to be their happy compromise. And hey, at least the kid liked fish tacos.

In August, when Kensi knew she had been pregnant for almost three months, they nervously sat down to tell Derrick the news. "We're thrilled about this, Derrick," Kensi told him. "But it doesn't change how much we love you. You are still – and will always be – just as much a member of this family. OK?"

"We hope you'll think of yourself as this kid's wiser, bigger brother," added Deeks, "And that you'll look out for them and give them lots of love and good brotherly advice. Does that sound like something you could do?"

"Yeah, it does," he told them.

"And Derrick," Kensi added, "I hope you know that even though this baby is going to come out of my body at some point – something I'm trying not to picture - I'll always think of you as my first child."

As she hugged him tightly, he hugged her back and smiled. And then he added, "Kensi, if this baby really is a mutant like Marty always talks about, can I use it in my science project?"

She tickled him in response until he begged for mercy.

In September Deeks and Derrick were out grocery shopping when they ran into an acquaintance of Deeks'. Deeks struggled as he always did in introducing Derrick, saying, "And this is my, um, Derrick."

Deeks decided he needed to address his dilemma head on- it had been almost a year, after all. While they were unpacking the groceries at home, he paused, putting down the cereal boxes he was unloading. He started, "Derrick, can I ask you something?"

Derrick looked up at him and saw the seriousness in his expression. He too put down his handful of provisions and said, "Uh, sure?"

"I wanted to talk about how I introduce you to other people. I don't know if there's a certain way you'd like me to describe you…" Deeks paused to see if Derrick wanted to jump in with an opinion. When he only shrugged and looked away, Deeks pushed on, saying, "How about if I tell you how I'd like to introduce you, and you can tell me whether you're comfortable with it or not?"

"OK," Derrick replied, curious about what Deeks would say.

With fingers crossed for a positive reaction, Deeks pressed on. "Well, if it didn't make you feel uncomfortable or weird," he said, "I'd like to tell people that you're my son… But I could always-"

Derrick interrupted, telling Deeks, "OK. I'm OK with that."

"You are?" asked Deeks, surprised and deeply moved by Derrick's response.

"Yeah," Derrick said simply. After a long look at Deeks' tear-filled eyes, he turned back to the cupboards. As they got back to work, he added, "Marty?"

"Yeah?"

"I'm glad you and Kensi, and the mutant, are my new family," he said.

Deeks smiled as he felt a tear roll down his cheek. "Me too, Derrick," he replied, "me too."

In October they suggested a day of remembrance for Derrick's mom. Derrick agreed but asked if they could also remember his dad. Sam took the three of them out on his boat and they all talked about how much both of Derrick's parents had loved him, and what good care they had both taken of him.

On the way back, Derrick helped Sam navigate while Deeks and Kensi sat together watching their son listen to Sam explaining nautical terms.

Deeks smiled. With his eyes on Derrick, he asked Kensi, "That day a year ago, when Hetty gave us the news about Mosley... Did you ever imagine how our lives would change?"

"No, I don't think I even tried," she replied. "I was more focused on being in the moment and accepting fate, and trying not to have a full-on panic attack," she replied.

"Are you happy with our decision?" he asked tentatively.

"Oh, Deeks, of course I am. I love our unconventional path to having a family. Hell, our unconventional path to getting married. You know what?" she asked, turning and wrapping her arms around him.

"What?" he asked.

"I just love you, Papa."

After their kiss, he breathed out, "Awwww, I love you too."

"Now go make your baby mama a sandwich," Kensi ordered.

"Done."

AN: Thanks to everyone who read this far, and of course to those who followed, favorited and commented. I am so grateful for your feedback on my first attempt at fiction writing. It's been unexpectedly enjoyable! As a lover of the hurt/comfort genre, I'm not at all sure how this family fic came out of my brain. And I'm not sure if I have more stories in my head, although I have thought of an opening scene for a case fic so you never know…

P.S. Dr. Delaware is a reference to one of my detective favorites. Written by Jonathan Kellerman, the Alex Delaware mysteries revolve around a very kind L.A. child psychologist who specializes in helping children who've suffered trauma (while solving grisly murders in his spare time).