A/N: EDIT: Buzz off with the flames. They're just plain hurtful at this point. Look at the reviews if you don't believe me.

AND YOU WONDER WHY I LEFT.

So. Last of Us 2 got its plot leaked and...whoa. That's...a thing. Internet's on fire over it. I'm not playing it now after what I've seen.

But enough about that, away we go!

WARNING!

This chapter has a big honking reference/teaser that most aren't going to get. If you do, great. If you don't, don't worry about it. Its a throwaway reference to an already written story, so no need to worry about any surprises. I'll be at work by the time you guys and gals get this, so I hope you enjoy this early morning present~! Looking forward to reading your reviews when I get back~!

So many updates, so little time~!

Sorry if this is short, I'm terribly busy running around trying to update everything.

On an FGO related note, I somehow got Jeanne. Well. I'm content. Even if I had to suffer for it.

Been on an update kick lately, and unfortunately the trolls are still terrorizing me with threats. *sigh* I don't understand why they keep calling me a nazi, telling me to die, throw myself off a cliff, catch the virus, but its honestly getting a little out of hand. As a reminder, reading A Most Unlikely Avenger explains aplenty here.

In other news, still not feeling well. Not sure if caught the damn thing, but I don't have much energy these days. Been hunkering down and working odd jobs from home to make ends meet, so I'm not exactly in peak condition either. Don't worry, my lungs are just fine. I just don't know why I'm so damn tired...

As ever, I own no references to any sort of media or madness.

I'm just a guy that likes to play around with words and the insanity they bring~!

Once more, Avenger!Naruto is the current Chaldea incarnation. King!Naruto is a different entity altogether, and he doesn't take too kindly to intruders. I wouldn't call this a Singularity or a Lostbelt, but rather some strange hybrid of the two. Either way Chaldea thinks it has to go. How's it feel to be the bad guys this time around, Chaldea? What's that? Not so good?

King!Naruto is OP? Nerf please? Nope~! Too bad~! Here comes the chaos~!

Hope you're ready for some laughs, because here we go~!

"Poor unfortunate soul. So sad. Such a shame."

...right. That does it. Everything dies."

~?

A Most Unlikely Invasion

...I've been here all of three seconds," Naruto growled as he stepped out of the light, "And I already want to burn this world and everyone in it to the ground."

"Well someone's on edge today." someone sighed behind him, "Did you and Artoria have another fight?"

"Bite me, Waver." his lip curled in derision. "Better yet? Bite Iskandar. Probably how he likes it."

"Ha! He got you there, didn't he?!"

"Bwah!?"

Smiling at his triumph as much as the roaring Rider and incoherent Caster he'd left behind in his wake, Avenger marched forward to meet this brave new world head on. Might as well take the bull by the horns, or so the saying went these days. He wasn't one to smoke, but the moment he'd emerged into this supposed Singularity, he found himself craving one of Waver's cigars. Or a drink. Maybe both. No. Definitely both. He desperately needed something -anything!- to take the edge off right now; because his entire being revolted at the idea of being here.

It didn't have anything to do with the leyline, much less the scenery; if anything, the view was downright pleasant to behold.

Rolling green hills stretched as far as the eye could see in the waning light of evening; from here, the highest among them, one could see far indeed. A series of small villages lay sprawled out in the distance in haphazard fashion, some nearby, others visible as little more than distant plumes of chimney smoke near a worn dirt road. Naruto ignored them, poison-gold eyes trailing past them to the towering city in the distance.

He couldn't quite shake the nebulous feeling of dread he experienced when he gazed upon those white walls; the feeling of being watched.

Perhaps it had something to do with his current class. Perhaps he was simply in a sour mood after dealing with the King of Heroes and his ilk. Perhaps it was the knowledge that another "him" existed in this era. It could've been any one of those things, or none at all. He wasn't sure. Was it too late to turn around and back the way he'd come? He eyed the summoning circle and considered it for a moment as another Servant emerged to greet an eager Fujimaru; maybe a lazy day wasn't so bad after all.

"Feels like a Lostbelt." he muttered, taking his thumb between his teeth. "Just what the hell's going on here? What kind of idiot sets up shop and declares himself a king? Idiot. What were you thinking?!"

"What's a Lostbelt, Uncle Naruto?"

Avenger jumped as a small voice manifested against his right hip. Without thinking his right hand descended, an instinctive act he still didn't understand to this day. Gentle silver tresses parted beneath his scarred fingers and a pleased hum greeted him as its owner leaned into his hand. Questing violet eyes regarded him curiously.

"Nothing." he muttered, idly patting the little Caster's head. "Don't worry about it, Alice. Go find your mother."

"But she's not here." Nursery Rhyme whined and buried her face into his fur cloak. "Besides, its cold. And you're waaaarm~!"

Naruto fought down a sigh and held her to his side. "Darn kid. Fine. Just don't tell her about this. You saw nothing. Nothing, do you hear?!"

She beamed. "Mmkay!"

Avenger willed himself to relax as the little girl clung onto his leg. Damnit. He didn't do hugs. He just wasn't any good with them. Too touchy-feely by half. He still didn't let go, choosing instead to wait in stoic silence for the rest of the new arrivals.

Chaldea would be fielding seven Servants this time around, not counting Mash.

Naturally, their most precious kouhai came first. Naruto, Waver, and Iskandar had brought up the rear. Nursery Rhyme had only just arrived. Artoria Alter wouldn't be far behind. Naruto hadn't lingered to see whom the last two would be, but he desperately hoped it wasn't Mordred or any of her kin. Fujimaru claimed to have already seen a Mordred here. One was bad enough. But two?! No. He couldn't handle that. And why in the hells did she keep calling him a Zombie?! Was that an insult or something?!

Alter he could understand, if only because she'd accepted him as his own person during his tenuos time here. Nursery Rhyme was much the same, but she'd taken to calling him Uncle. Hurk. Don't think about it. Protect the child. Those two were part of a very small group of servants that he'd learned to tolerate. Mordred? Nope. Lots of nope. Nope sandwich.

There were other names too, other titles he'd rather not think of.

Gudao attracted the oddest sorts of Servants; some weren't even from this world. Some claimed to be from outside the throne altogether. He'd met a woman with one eye and an arm of shadow who snarled whenever he came near. Fake, she'd spat him. Impostor. Not real. What was her problem? What had her name been again? It had started with a C, hadn't it? Ci...Cin...

A startled squawk behind Avenger distracted him.

"Sorry about that!" Ritsuka wailed in the distance. "We've got a few tag-alongs. Looks like its going to be nine after all! Jack's headed your way, Avenger!"

"Uncle~!"

Then it was Naruto's turn to grunt once more as an unlikely Assassin latched onto his other side like a limpet. He knew better than to fight. So. This was his fate. Troublesome...

"Why'd you run away?" the guileless of an innocent killer greeted him. "You almost left us behind?"

Naruto tried to palm his face, only for the little devil to claim that for herself, too.

"He's a softie." Nursery Rhyme agreed, holding tight to his arm.

Chaldea was...nice he supposed. Odd. But nice. It was also teeming with Servants and people who knew him, or at the very least, claimed to know him. He'd never met them. They called him all manner of names. Yet another reason he would kill all incarnations of himself. Slaughter all copies. It was the only way...and if he couldn't do that? Well. He was going to throw hands at them. Lots of hands. And knives. Something would be sure to stick. Eventually. Maybe.

Nursery Rhyme and Jack shivered against him and he thoughtlessly tucked them closer into his great cloak. They giggled and his heart twitched again.

Now that he thought about it, he wasn't sure why he'd called this world a Lostbelt at all. He didn't even know what the word meant. What was a Lostbelt? The word had just come to him, unbidden. This place felt...wrong, but only for him. None of the other Servants seemed concerned in the least. If anything his allies seemed to actively enjoy the picturesque scenery. It really was a beautiful world; no one cold deny that. You could get lost here, make a life here, away from prying eyes. Made him sick, it did. He didn't run. He didn't hide.

"Auntie Salter's here!"

Nevermind. Hiding felt like a good idea right about now.

"I remember these lands well." once more the whiskered warrior felt a familiar weight brush against his left hip as another body joined his beneath the billowing cloak; this one brought with it the faint scent of charcoal and smoke. A slim body tucked against Jack's small form and into his own with smoldering ease. For her part, the little Assassin knew better than to fight and let the Alter have her way. She ceded his arm, but not his side for herself. "This is Britain. There can be no doubt. You were wise to bring me here."

Naruto twitched.

"Why are you all crowded under here?! This is my cloak!"

"'Cuz you're warm." Jack and Alice chorused immediately, drawing a groan.

"But of course." Artoria's black bow twitched in silent satisfaction. How the hell did she do that? "What's yours is mine, Avenger. You'd do well to remember that."

The Gluttonous Dragon, ladies and gentlemen. Destroyer of hamburgers and claimer of cloaks. Long may she reign.

"Ho?" perhaps sensing his disquiet, gold eyes not unlike his own gazed up at him and he was suddenly, intimately aware of her pale fingers threading through his tan ones as she wrestled his fingers free from Jack. "Does my presence bother you, then?"

...I didn't say stop."

Salter's gaze burned with triumph as she laid her head against his shoulder. "Time to go, girls."

"Awww...

"You've had your time with your Uncle." that same imperial gaze flicked down to the two children as they wilted. "Behave yourselves and you may have cake when we return. Perhaps if you carry yourselves especially well, I shall see to reading you a story before bed."

Jack and Alice sprinted back to the two Masters. Despite himself, Naruto laughed, coughing against the smoke they left behind in their wake. "You're good with them."

"I am a King." she preened as they watched the sun creep lower and lower on the horizon. "I excel in all things. Unfortunately my other selves do not."

Naruto knew the warning for what it was and frowned at her. "What did you do?"

Artoria reared back with a fiery look and for a moment Naruto wondered if she would snap at him. He'd snap right back of course; it was part of the reason they got on so well. But the moment passed without incident and she slumped against him with a sound somewhere between a snarl and a sigh. That was all he needed to know her displeasure. Salter didn't explode with indignant fury like her pure counterpart, nor did she flail about and sputter like her Lily self. She seethed, holding onto her anger and unleashing it in battle. Another trait they shared.

"My other selves learned of this place and made demands." she put it bluntly. "They were forceful. Our dear Masters folded."

"Don't tell me your Lancer self came along." he hissed. "She's a handful."

"No." She grimaced into his shoulder. "Not...Lancer."

An explosion of loamy soil pelted their armored backs as someone unleashed a mana burst to neatly cleaved the hill in half. Salter snarled. Naruto wasted no time in tugging up his hood. Sure enough, the shouting started before the debris finished falling. So too did the condemnations. "Mordred! Conduct yourself properly!"

"Shut up, Father!" came a familiar cry. "You're a dick! Don't talk to me! I hate you!"

Naruto glared bloody red daggers at Salter.

"Saber?!"

She sighed. "I tried to stop them...but I was overruled. I'm only a Four-Star, after all."

Of all the outcomes he could've predicted, this might well be the worse. He'd learned to tolerate several Servants. Artoria Pendradon -as she truly was- was not one of them. If anything, she was one of the few beings he genuinely despised. For some reason his spiritual core burned when he looked at her, and something deep within him howled for her head...even as it pitied her. They must have had an ugly encounter in another war; or perhaps the feelings the feelings he'd received were fragmented. He didn't know. Didn't care to know.

And now Mordred was with her.

Could this day possibly get any worse? In hindsight, he shouldn't have tempted Fate.

"Ho, there!" a new voice called from afar to cut their argument short. "Might you be the Chaldeans?"

Nearly half a dozen heroes rounded on the sudden sound, weapons drawn.

At a glance, they weren't much to look at; a girl clad in burnished steel armor, wielding a towering lance and mighty shield. Even then, Avenger only knew it to be a girl by the young face that peeked out behind her visor; while her armor certainly stood fast in the face of their scrutiny, that helmet looked just a touch too large for the poor thing.

Whomever she was, she absolutely yelped at the sight of so many angry faces trained on her.

"Wait, wait, wait! I come in peace!" the new Servant, for the being before them could only be such to trot toward them and stand fast under such pressure, raised their palms. "Please don't kill me. His majesty would be very cross if you killed one of his knights. That and I really don't wanna die."

"His...

Mordred blinked.

Salter tilted her head.

...majesty?!" Artoria absolutely squawked.

Naruto grit his teeth to bite back the peal of laughter that followed.

"Hmm. A younger version of our queen. Fascinating." the girl grinned at them all. "Would you look at that. You really do look just like she did. It seems Merlin was right."

"Merlin?" Salter spat the word. "Did you say Merlin?! That fool is here?!"

"Oho!" the knight rounded on her with a cry. "Another one!"

Unfortunately in doing so, she immediately noticed Avenger. Even with his hood up and his presence concealed, he couldn't quite hide his whiskered cheeks; much less his striking blue eyes. Sure enough, the Knight saw him and all but bulled into his personal space. Her gaze locked onto him with the intensity of a laser.

"Wow. You...you're just like him. A little younger maybe, but still!" she wriggled happily beneath his questing stare. "Can we be friends?"

"I...what?! Too fast! Way to fast!"

Fujimaru tilted their head. "And you are...?"

"My name isn't important." the newcomer's smile didn't diminish in the least. "But I'll give it anyway. I'm Gareth, knight of the Round Table." she clasped both arms behind her back and beamed. "Nice to meet you! I've been sent by his majesty to collect you and bring you to the city."

"And if we refuse?" Mordred snorted. It was the most she'd said since the small knight had made herself known.

Gareth's smile darkened. "Then our snipers will play merry hell with your forces. Your choice."

Naruto's twitching became a full body spasm.

Well. That settled things.

Fuck my life.

A/N: Gareth really is something, ain't se?

As told in last chapter, King was quite prepared for the Chaldeans.

Aaaaaaaaaaand there we go~! Author's note is mostly the same, so feel free to skip on down to the previews.

This story intersects with A Most Unlikely Avenger. Yes, the one in Chaldea at present. Hope that alleviates your confusion. If it makes you feel better, you needn't think of it as a Lostbelt, or even a Singularity. Its neither at this point, merely an event of sorts, one that diverged from canon.

As ever, reviews are my fuel. Without them I wither and die.

So in the Immortal Words of Atlas...

...Review, Would You Kindly?

And enjoy the up-and-coming previews!

They're rough atm, so don't think too much of them~!

(Previews)

"We need not be enemies." the King's armored hand offered itself to Fujimaru, palm upraised. "I have no quarrel with any of you and I'm certainly not allied with any of those Crypters. Let us resolve this peacefully."

"Who?" Humanity's last master blinked.

"Ah. It hasn't happened yet, has it?" That regal visage softened in mild dismay. "You poor thing. You have no idea what's coming, do you?"

"So that's your angle." Avenger stepped forward with s snarl. "Wow, we really grew a silver tongue in this timeline, didn't we?"

"Quiet, you." Naruto rose from his throne to meet him. "I'm still debating killing you on principle."

Blue eyes blazed gold. "Just try it, old man!"

The King arched a golden brow of his own. "I needn't. Mordred?"

In a heartbeat, his angrier counterpart found himself pinned. "Hey! Lemme go!"

...was I ever that noisy?"

R&R~!

=D