The Thing About Regret

Izuku

I can barely remember a time before all this started. When I was just the same as everyone else and our biggest worry was who had the coolest toy and who got to play the hero this time. When we spent the days dreaming up what quirk we would end up getting. It was a competition really, to see who could think up the most unique quirk possible, and how you would become the best hero with it, just like All Might. Because that's what everyone wanted, right? To become a hero?

So, when my classmates quirks started to appear, I couldn't help but impatiently wait for it to be my turn. For their adoration to be turned to me. Kaachan can make explosions on his palms, another girl can pretty lights appear. Everyone had such an amazing quirk, except me. I suddenly became odd one out. The one that was different, and they never let me forget that.

It started out innocent enough, a stray hurtful comment here or there, teasing. It only escalated from there to outright bullying. And at the center of it all, was Kacchan. My best friend. My only friend. The minute the doctor handed down my sentence of 'Quirkless' he wanted nothing to do with me. No, he wanted to lord it over me to fuel his ego. 'Deku' he called me. 'Useless Deku, no future, no worth, he can't do anything.'

The words stung, teachers, classmates, my mother at one point, there was no escape from it. (And that hurts the most really. My own mother believes I'd never amount to anything.) Just past the hurt though is an odd nostalgia I can't understand and the feeling that this is just the starting line. That all of this will mean something one day. So, I desperately held on to that to combat the hurt and loneliness. There was no point in fighting against it, however, I could only endure.

For years I endured, I distracted myself with taking apart quirks. Hero's, villain's, stranger's, it didn't matter. How did their quirk work? Strengths? Weaknesses? Possible uses? To satiate my growing obsession, I began to seek out villain fights.

Obviously, with my luck it was only a matter of time before something went wrong. Focused solely on writing down my observations, I ignored the ringing warning in my head. I never noticed that the fight had gotten so close until I'm yanked off my feet with the villain's knife edged forearm pressed firmly against my throat. The villain shifts and the sharp edge breaks the skin, blood drips down staining my shirt.

The world freezes in that moment. The screams go silent, the light fades, the hero reaching out to save me with a desperate expression on his face. It's all so surreal.

'I'm going to die'

The frozen world unpauses, and the reality of the situation crashes into me. I'm going to die. No. NO! I can't, I won't! I won't die with the world thinking I can't do anything! That I'm useless! I refuse!

In my blind desperation I pull at that fleeting warmth at my core, with every ounce of will I can muster. Because if I fail here, I always be that useless Deku who can't do anything. So, I drag that warmth to the surface. Because this time, this time, I'm going to save myself.

It's then that I hear the screaming, Is that me? The villain? The hero? The audience? Maybe it all of us. Not that it matters. The warmth floods my senses, overwhelming that frantic panic with an unnatural calm. The villain drops me in shock, reveling an opening the hero capitalizes on, quickly restraining him.

Dumbly I stare at my hands in astonishment. Beautiful orange flames dance across the skin. A missing part of me has come home.

"-id. Kid!" A worried police officer finally catches my attention. "You ok?"

I try to answer him, but as soon as I open my mouth the warmth starts to slip away, and with it goes my consciousness.

A voice I don't recognize, but somehow feels so familiar sounds from the back of my mind before I completely pass out.

'Do it with your dying will, Dame-Tsuna.'

A small smile appears on my face as I distantly feel myself fall backwards.

'Ah. How could I have forgotten.'

Waking up is altogether a disorienting experience. My head throbbing with familiar buzz of my intuition. Now that I know what it is, I can't help but scold myself for ignoring it. I groan when I open my eyes, the light momentarily blinding me before my eyes can adjust.

A hospital room? I wonder as everything begins to come back to me. Being held hostage, the flames, the memories. I burry my face in my hands, praying to whatever deity exists that Reborn doesn't somehow find out about the mess I've gotten myself into. I have absolute faith that if he does, he'd find a way to torture me. Even if I've been reincarnated or in a different world or whatever the hell happened to me. Because this is Reborn I'm talking about. Logic doesn't apply to him.

Shoving that thought into the back of my mind before I can work myself into a panic, I refocus on my current situation. Now that I think back there have been signs. Odd emotions and nostalgia I couldn't place, from memories so deeply ingrained that they leaked through. My intuition was always there, not that I knew what it was, and it was considerably weaker due to my flames being inactive.

But what happens now? Now that my flames, memories and hyper intuition are fully returned, what now? I'm not the same person anymore, I can't be. Sure, I'm still 12-year-old Midoriya Izuku, a boy obsessed with heroes and quirks, who has been put down his entire life. But I'm also 24-year-old Sawada Tsunayoshi, unwilling Vongola Decimo, the most powerful man in the underworld. And while our childhoods were similar, Tsuna's memories are so much heavier. Life and death constantly hanging in the balance.

"Izuku? Are you awake?" Ka-san asks from the door, interrupting my thoughts. She must have stepped out for a moment; I ignore the whispered lie of my intuition.

"Yea, sorry for worrying you Ka-san" I give her a smile.

"Oh, I wasn't worried." She waves off my apology. "I heard you finally got your quirk. It's about time."

"I did! I can make fire!" I tell her proudly.

"That's great Izuku, now you won't be useless!"

I barely manage to prevent myself from flinching at that. No matter how many times someone calls me useless, it still feels like someone is stabbing a knife into my heart. Our relationship has grown rather strained over the years. After being told over and over that her son would never amount to anything, she eventually started to believe it as well. She started to distance herself from me, until she basically only provided food and shelter. Essentially, we are strangers that live in the same house, occasionally crossing paths.

Now that I have my flames, who knows how that will change. Even if she starts to make up for it now, it won't change the years of negligence. It'd honestly feel like betrayal, after so many years of her indifference when I didn't have a quirk to suddenly change how she treats me now that I do. It just feels so wrong. A knock on the open door saves me from having to respond.

"It seems you've finally woken up. I'm Doctor Nakamura Kaito, do you mind if I ask you a few questions to make sure you're alright Midoriya-kun?" Doctor Nakamura is a tall man with golden hair and gentle silver eyes.

"Not at all."

"Can you tell me your name and how old you are?"

"Midoriya Izuku, I'm 12."

"Do you know why you are in the hospital?"

"I got held hostage in a villain attack and activated my quirk for the first time."

"Good, are you in any pain or feel uncomfortable?"

"No."

"Well it seems you've come out of the situation alright. I would recommend you see a quirk counselor due to the nature of how your quirk manifested, especially since you are a late bloomer. You'll also need to register it. But otherwise I see no issue discharging you. First though, there is a detective that would like to ask you a few questions about the incident is that alright?"

"That's ok."

"I'll send him in then, it was nice meeting you." He gives a soft smile as he leaves.

A few moments later a well-groomed man in a trench coat comes in.

"Well it's good to see that you didn't come out of the incident hurt. I'm Detective Tsukauchi, I'm here to take your statement on the attack."

"What do you need me to do?"

"Just answer a few questions. Can you state your name for the record?"

"Midoriya Izuku"

"What were you doing at the attack?"

"I sought it out, I like to analyze quirks, especially hero's and villain's. I got distracted writing in my notebook and didn't notice the fight getting to close until I was taken hostage."

"I see. And that's when your quirk manifested." My intuition goes off at this question for some reason, warning me to answer carefully.

"That was the first time my flames activated" I cautiously agree. There's no warning after that, so I guess I answered that correctly.

"Do you remember anything after that?" And again, a warning sounds.

"Not really?" I say unsurely being purposely vague. "I mean I remember being pretty out of it and passing out." He doesn't seem to notice anything off about those statements, they are completely true. They just aren't the whole truth.

"That's understandable, it was a very stressful situation." He jots down a few notes, "I don't have any further questions, but please, stay away from fights in the future."

I just laugh sheepishly and avert my gaze. He sighs.

"I'll let you get out of here. I'm sure you're eager to get home."

"Thank you!" I call after him.

"Well now that that's settled, let's go home." She smiles, but it doesn't feel right. It feels like a lie.

"Yea. Home." I agree trying to squash the feeling of loneliness that comes over me at the word.

It doesn't work, it just leaves me feeling empty.