PLEASE READ

I started writing this in middle school. That was several years ago.

The beginning needs work. I've really been enjoying writing the more recent chapters, the story is starting to unfold. I hope you give this a chance and keep reading - I want to go back and re-write earlier chapters and freshen them up (they need a lot of freshening up).

So stay tuned, and I hope you enjoy.

CHAPTER 1

I walked down the cement sidewalk, occasionally slipping. The sidewalk was covered in snow and ice, making it smooth and slick. Not to mention freezing. I paused for a moment to wrap my jacket tighter around my torso and stuffed my hands in its front pockets. I could feel my teeth start to chatter from the shots of ice running up and down my spine. My short, brunette, unruly hair flowed in the wind around my face. My green eyes were slightly narrowed from the icy wind. I had been walking for a while now, and my legs were becoming weaker and weaker. I spotted a lonely bench up ahead and decided that I deserved to rest.

After increasing my pace, I finally plopped down on the wooden bench. It was cold and slightly wet from the snow, but at that moment I honestly didn't care. I pulled my hands from the bottom of my coat pockets, and rubbed them swiftly back and forth on my thighs, trying to warm them up. Of course, my legs didn't actually need this, since they had been numb for about two years now... But that's a story for another time. I sighed. Every second of every day I was reminded of that fateful night. Not fateful, that horrible night. I shook my head, trying to rid my mind of the memories. 'Be strong, be strong', I reminded myself. After a moment, I let out a shaky breath. I watched the fog from my breath drift in the air in front of my face. Suddenly, I heard the sound of laughter. I focused my vision on the other side of the street and saw several children playing in the snow. The sight instantly warmed my heart. I watched in contentment as the children threw snowballs at each other.

"Jamie! I'll race you to that tree!" One of the boys shouted. My breath caught in my throat. I could feel my smile falter as they ran to the tree. The movement of their legs through the air, the pounding of their feet on the ground; it reminded me of what I couldn't do. I slumped my back on the bench, my spirit instantly dropping. It was bringing up feelings I didn't like to face. I dropped my head forward and stared at my hands in my lap. I closed my eyes, letting out a shaky breath. I could feel the tears start to build, trying to break past the border of my lower lashes. There was no one around, and I couldn't remember the last time I had shed any sadness.

Crying doesn't make you weak, it only shows that you have been strong for too long.

With this thought in my head, repeating, I slowly let the tears fall. When the accident happened, I had heard someone say these words at one of the support groups I was made to go to. Though my characteristic stubbornness kept me from honoring this truth for a while, it eventually settled into my brain and I learned to live by them. No one should think that crying or showing sadness is weak. Out of breath, I inhaled, only to find it shaky from the tears. I wiped the layer of water from my cheeks, only for it to be replaced by a new coat. Suddenly, I felt a hand on my shoulder. I jerked my eyes open and lifted my head. A young boy with brown hair, covered by his hat, was standing next to me, his face clouded with worry. I recognized him as the boy who was racing with his friend. Jamie, if I heard correctly. I quickly wiped the tears from my face and looked back at the young boy.

"Are you okay?" Jamie asked. I smiled, touched by his concern.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Thank you for asking," I replied. He visibly loosened his muscles, a small smile forming.

"Oh, okay," he said. His smile faded a bit, his brows coming together. "Why were you crying?" He asked the question with such genuine worry that I couldn't help but smile a bit more. I shook my head.

"Nothing, really. Just some memories," I replied. He nodded his head as if he understood it was better to leave it alone.

"Oh. Well, I'm glad you're okay," he spoke, the smile coming back.

"Me too. Thank you for asking. What's your name?" The boy extended his hand.

"My name is Jamie. What's your's?" He asked, his eyes brightening. I shook his hand and straightened my back.

"Hello, Jamie, my name is Autumn. It's nice to meet you," I said, my smile growing. Jamie's smile grew to its full size, his eyes twinkling with innocence.

"Nice to meet you too. Do you want to play with me and my friends?" He asked, almost jumping up and down. I pulled my coat sleeve back just enough to look at my watch.

"Sure, I have plenty of time," I said, pushing my sleeve back over my watch and standing up. The thought of playing in the snow with a group of carefree children sounded like the kind of thing that could completely cleanse any of the ruminations I had let myself soak in.

"Awesome! I'll introduce you to my friends." He grabbed my gloved hand and pulled me gently across the street towards the other children. I pushed a loose brunette tendril behind my ear. The kids seemed to be in the beginnings of another snowball fight. Jamie stopped at the edge of the small snow-covered field they were playing in. Most of his friends stopped playing and were now looking at me.

"Guys, this is Autumn. She is really nice, and she's going to play with us!" He said happily. Most of the kids waved, or shouted a 'Hello Autumn'. Jamie pulled me towards a small wall made out of snow. We stopped behind it.

"Ready?" He asked, handing me a snowball. I smiled.

"Ready," I replied. Suddenly, showers of snowballs were flying everywhere. I laughed heartily as I threw snowballs at our opponents. I couldn't remember the last time I felt this carefree. I could feel the edges of my eyes and the tops of my cheeks strain from smiling so much. Flecks of snow littered my spunky hair and coated my eyelashes, giving the edges of my vision a light haze. Out of nowhere, a snowball hit me directly in the back of my head. My hand quickly grabbed the back of my head as I whipped my head around to see the culprit who threw the snowball. There weren't any kids behind my and Jamie's fort. I narrowed my eyes, although a smile stayed planted on my face.

"Who threw that?" I said, looking back and forth.

"Oh, that was Jack," Jamie said after throwing another snowball. I looked around for this so-called 'Jack' kid. I assumed it was just one of Jamie's friends, but probably just a little shyer than the others.

"Where is he?" I turned back and forth, still looking for the target of my next snowball. Jamie slumped to the ground, his back against the snow fort. He faced me.

"He's right there," he said, pointing about 5 feet away. I looked from Jamie to the empty spot of air, and back.

"Jamie, I don't see anything." I looked closer at the spot Jamie pointed to, trying to see if I missed something.

"Yeah, not everyone can see him," Jamie replied, a small bit of sadness in his voice. I assumed that Jack was Jamie's imaginary friend.

"Oh, that's too bad. I bet he's really nice," I said, putting a hand lightly on Jamie's shoulder. Jamie instantly brightened his expression.

"Yeah, he is. He is really fun, too. You know, he was the one who saw you on the bench crying," Jamie said while preparing another snowball.

"Was he now?" I asked. I found it adorable that Jamie had an imaginary friend. Jamie nodded.

"Yup. He told me to invite you to play. He loves the snow. He's actually the spirit of winter," he said, throwing the newly made snowball towards the forts across the small field.

"He is?" I raised my eyebrow. I was a bit impressed this young boy thought of something as creative as the Spirit of Winter to be an imaginary friend. I always assumed imaginary friends would be normal people, or maybe characters in a favorite book or something like that.

"Yes. His name is Jack Frost." Jamie was digging his glove-covered hand into the snow, forming more snowballs. My head slightly tilted. The name sounded familiar. Something from a Christmas song? Oh, that's right, 'Jack Frost nipping at your nose'. I smiled at Jamie's creativity.

"I've heard of him," I said, gathering snow into a ball.

"I wish you could see him, then we could all play together." I could hear a small hint of sadness back in his voice. I paused, my arm pulled back to release a snowball. I slowly brought it down.

"Maybe someday I will see him. Then we can all play together," I comforted Jamie. I knew this would never happen, but I couldn't bear to see Jamie sad. His eyes lit up.

"Really?" He asked, hope filling his voice. I smiled warmly.

"Really," I replied. I said that without the knowledge that my promise would be fulfilled sooner than I thought.