F.Y.I. this story does not fall under the same alternate Regular Show timeline that my previous story, Regular Show: A Different Direction in Time, is based around.

Warning: there may be a moment in this chapter were it may get close to a lemon scene.

Regular Show: Surprise

Chapter 1: Here's a Coupon

Snack Bar at the Park. It was considered the most boring assignment in the whole place. This is why the two employees assigned to work there for the day were secretly hiding in the garage until their shift was over. Which happened to be…

"Ah yeah! Our shift is over. Benson can't yell at us for not doing any work," Rigby said excitedly to his best friend/partner Mordecai.

"Yeah-yeah," Mordecai said with equal excitement while high fiving his buddy.

"Oooooooooohhhhhhhhh!" they hollered out simultaneously.

"So you ready for a night at the arcade with CJ, Eileen, and a bunch of sweet old video games?" Mordecai asked.

"Hell yeah, I am!" Rigby answered enthusiastically.

Just then both the guys' cell phones went off. Checking them, they each discovered they'd gotten messages that instantly changed their plans for the night.

"Oh man I just got a text from CJ," Mordecai informed. "She says the arcade is closed because of a goat problem."

"Dang," Rigby responded. "Well, I guess that's not so bad because Eileen texted me, saying she and I can't hang out with you guys tonight."

"What?! Why?"

"She forgot we'd already planned to do something together tonight and we can't miss it," Rigby explained.

"Its cool dude. Besides you can't disappoint your lady bro," Mordecai joked back. Lately, he and the rest of the Park's crew had been making jokes about Rigby and Eileen being a couple due to all the time they'd been spending together alone; though Rigby didn't like all the teasing.

"STOP TALKING!" he shouted furiously.

"Okay, okay chill Rigby, chill, " Mordecai said, getting serious again. "Seriously though, we planned for you, me, CJ and Eileen to hang out tonight. What are I and CJ gonna do about tonight?"

"I don't know. Maybe call Margaret," Rigby suggested. "Maybe she'd be up to hanging out with you guys or something."

It had been six months since the whole mistletoe incident where Mordecai kissed Margaret, (his ex-girlfriend), under the mistletoe and got caught by CJ, (his current girlfriend). It took a bit of effort, but eventually, Mordecai was able to earn CJ's forgiveness. Four months after said incident CJ called Margret over to the beach to help save her, Eileen, Rigby, Mordecai, and a bunch of turtles from these crazy turtle poachers. Eileen had been touched by how her two closes female friends had finally been able to work together on something. Knowing how happy their cooperation made Eileen feel, CJ and Margaret agreed to mend things between them with Mordecai going so far as to swear to never get too close with another woman ever again unless it was CJ.

During those later months that Mordecai and CJ managed to fully heal the wounds of their relationship; having moved past the old history of Mordecai's previous love lives; leading their love for each other to flourish and blossom into something truly beautiful. Heck everyone at the park, (even Mr. Maellard), were secretly taking bets on when the two would tie the knot.

Over time, CJ and Margaret had become okay friends, Mordecai finally managed to put things behind with his ex, and Eileen was now able to hang out with both her closest female friends together without any awkward tensions arising.

Despite this, there was still the tiny bit of awkwardness that continued to arise whenever it Mordecai, CJ and Margaret hung out without anyone else; especially when it happened by surprise or last minute. For those reasons, Mordecai knew that inviting Margret to suddenly hang tonight wouldn't work out. Luckily he also had another reason why this couldn't work besides the main one.

"Dude we already asked Margaret if she wanted to hang with us tonight. Remember she said she couldn't because it's her cousins' birthday," Mordecai pointed out.

"Pfft, I don't know than…wait," pulling out a coupon from his pocket, Rigby handed it over to Mordecai. "Here's a coupon to someplace near the mall. Take CJ there and knock yourselves out."

Before Mordecai could speak up again, Rigby jumped into the golf cart and took off instantly; leaving Mordecai all alone with the coupon in hand.

Grabbing his cell phone, Mordecai called CJ to tell her of the change in plans. As he waited for his girlfriend to pick up, he took a look at the coupon, which said, Argh me hearties, you've dug yourself up to two free bottles of double maelstrom rum at Drink up Me Hearties Yo Ho.

Oh, Mordecai had a feeling this was going to be more interesting than arcade night. Though he wasn't sure whether it was going to be good interesting or the bad/humiliating kind.

Later…

As the coupon hinted, the place was, in fact, a bar. Also from what was written on the coupon, the bar was pirate-themed. The whole place was all decked out to look like the deck of a pirate ship, with cannons, large and mini barrels, (which served as tables and chairs for customers), scattered around, a few sails attached to poles, two sets of stairs leading upward to where the ships helm could be seen, there was even a mini crow's nest with a few employees playing pirate-themed music in it. Speaking of employees, every single one of them, (not just the ones in crow's nest), were all dressed up like pirates from the old days. Yeah, this was a pirate-themed place alright, with a few other added features to show it.

"Man I figured this place had a pirate theme to it, but I didn't think they'd go full-on by making customers dress like pirates too," CJ commented. As soon as they'd shown their ID's to the bouncer at the front door to confirm they were adults, the guy gave them eye patches and pirate hats/bandanas to wear. He even provided a mini parrot to go on CJ's shoulder.

In response, Mordecai laughed, "Ha, ha, ha. Yeah I know right? A bit far in my opinion."

"No, a bit far is the making the place smell like an actual pirate ship," CJ said while taking a quick whiff of the place. "Augh, seriously is it just me or does it smell rotting rats in here? Ha, ha, ha!"

"Ha, ha, ha, ha," Mordecai laughed back. "Yeah guess you got me there."

The couple then laughed a little more before a waiter came over to them.

"Argh, welcome aboard the Drink up Me Hearties Yo Ho," said the waiter. "What can I be getting you scurvy dogs tonight?"

Mordecai pulled out the coupon Rigby gave him from his pocket and handed it to the waiter. "We'll take two bottles of double maelstrom rum, like what the coupon says," Mordecai answered.

After briefly checking over the coupon, the waiter looked back at Mordecai and asked, "Argh, would you two fellow pirates be interested in a plate of crispy parrot fries to go with that?"

"Hmm… yeah, I could go for some fries," Mordecai answered. "CJ?"

"Totally. I'm starving," CJ added.

"Argh, then I'll hop on down below deck and be back up with your booty faster than a firing cannonball," the waiter said as he scurried off.

Once the waiter was gone, CJ suddenly realized something. "You know come to think of it, this is my first time drinking, much less hanging out at a bar," she admitted.

"Ditto for me," Mordecai also confessed. "Weird since we're both in our twenties, have gone to countless parties, and have done almost every other insane activity imaginable. Activities that make excessive drinking look peaceful. Am I right?"

"Yeah I get ya," CJ responded. "Though I guess that's what happens when growing with a teetotaler, (someone who doesn't drink alcohol), for a mother. She was very passionate about not drinking, which she passed on to me during my childhood. What about you?"

"Honestly I just never felt compelled to drink," Mordecai admitted. "Rigby and I use to do stupid things in the past but underaged drinking and drugs were never on that list. We were usually too hyped up on soda and other surgery treats to consider drinking. Then by the time we reached legal drinking aged, we were already working at the park. However, a few years before we showed up Benson had banned alcohol from the park to remove the possibilities of employees being unable to work due to them either being too drunk or recovering from a hangover. The only exception to that rule is when Mr. Maellard has a fancy party at the park, though even then only official attendees including guests, himself, and Pops, (as well as Benson on occasion), are allowed to drink."

By this time their waiter returned with a fresh hot plate of fries, and two extremely large bottles of rum.

Both members of the couple were surprised by the size of the rum bottles, with them being twice the size of their heads, and weighed about four times that. When they tried to lift the bottles, they each found it a bit difficult.

Watching all this their waiter grabbed a couple large, (but not overly large like the bottles), mugs and easily poured some of the liquor into them with ease.

Grateful for the waiter's assistance, Mordecai graciously thanked the guy, "Thanks, dude."

In response, the waiter put his pirate hat over his chest and bowed in gratitude before going off.

Once to themselves again, CJ grabbed her mug of rum and extended it out towards Mordecai as a sign to clang his against hers. "Well, drink up me hearties yo ho," she said to her boyfriend.

Grabbing his mug, Mordecai clanged it against CJ's while also saying, "Drink up me hearties yo ho," before the gulped the liquor.

Meanwhile…

"So why's the arcade closed?" Eileen asked Rigby who sat beside her inside the planetarium.

"Something about a goat problem or whatever," Rigby answered while he reached his hand over to hold Eileen's' hand.

Yep, that's right, Rigby and Eileen, were D-A-T-I-N-G. They'd been doing this for exactly three months now. All that time they spent alone as just friends caused them to grow closer to each other till there was a mutually equal spark of attraction between them. True Eileen had already been crushing on Rigby for as long as she'd known the raccoon. Rigby, on the other hand, had originally found Eileen to be annoying. Though over time Rigby started to view Eileen from a different perspective. First, he found her attractive without her glasses on, then began to like hanging out with her as a friend. Eventually, this blossomed into a romantic attraction towards the mole girl; which resulted in him asking her out, and she in turn happily saying yes.

"That's too bad," Eileen said before asking, "So what are Mordecai and CJ doing with the plan changes?"

"Oh, I gave them a coupon to someplace for two free drinks or something."

"What's the name of the place?"

"Pfft, I don't remember. I only read the coupon once and that was when Muscle Man gave it to me for my birthday," Rigby explained

That sounded a little suspicious in Eileen's opinion. However, her attention immediately drew away from her friends as the show began and the shows' host started to speak.

"Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to an evening of the stars."

Back at the bar…

"Yo ho, yo ho, yo ho. A pirate's life for me." Mordecai and CJ sang together as they stumbled out of the bar towards the parking lot.

Those double maelstrom rums were, clearly, not meant for first-time drinkers; because after only drinking a single mug's worth of that stuff, (which could hold a third of the contents in that particular rum bottle), the two were both completely and utterly drunk.

"Man where… where did you park your car?" Mordecai asked. "Damn it's so dark I can't see shit."

"May… be we should call a cab or something," CJ suggested. "I don't feel like driving. Too tired."

"Di-to," Mordecai said back.

"TAXI!" He hollered out.

Fortunately, there was a cab nearby who heard the drunk blue jay call out to him. So as such, the driver honked his horn to get the couples' attention and they made their way into the back of the car.

"To house 206 on Corks street," CJ instructed the driver.

"Then to the park," Mordecai added.

That's when a thought came into CJ head, "Hey Mordecai, why don't you crash at my place with… with me. I mean the park is far from my place. Plus," she begins rubbing her boyfriend's chest with her index finger, "It'll give a chance to spend some more 'quality time' together."

In his state, Mordecai had no will power to disagree, or resist the offer that CJ was giving him. "Shu… sure," he answered back. "Scratch the bark dude, or park, or whatever. Just take us to CJ's place."

A long cab ride later…

"Okay here we are 206," the cab driver said to his drunk passengers, who were both too busy making out like crazy in back to here him.

"Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

Having experience with this sort of thing in the past, the cab driver pulled out a blow horn from the glove compartment and blasted it right in front of the couple.

BwAAAAAAAAAAAHP!

Both Mordecai and CJ immediately began howling in pain as their make-out session was rudely interrupted.

When the pain subsided or at least became bearable, the drunk couple turned to see what had happened, and who was the cause of it. "What the fu… fuck dude?!" Mordecai asked drunkenly.

"Twenty bucks, then get out," the cab driver demanded.

After paying the man, the two got out of the cab, nearly tripping as they made their way to CJ's front door. There the cloud girl unlocked the door and guided her boyfriend towards her bedroom, (the bed itself to be exact).

It was then that, on that mattress, that the two began to make out once again before CJ asked, "So you… you thinking what I… what I'm thinking?" CJ said as she took off her shirt.

In response, Mordecai just started kissing CJ again with lust, hunger and passion.

They continued down this path for the rest of the night. Not truly realizing what they were doing, or what it would lead to.

To be continued… Dun, dun, DUN!

FYI I assume some viewers who are familiar with Regular Show may think that Maellard isn't close enough to the park crew that he'd be interested in Mordecai's love life. On the other hand, I bet he'd be into it if it meant making money out of it. He did once mention he was going to go rig a yacht race. One of the possible reasons for that could have been so that he could win betting money.