A/N: I've had so many PMs, emails, reviews, basically saying… we need fluff. (insert inspirational music here) If only we had someone who wrote fluff. If only there was one among us who could write the most ridiculous situations and while WE ALL know it's insane, we love anyway. I do believe, I am that someone. My gift to you on the anniversary of the pilot, Ladies and Gentlemen, for this story, I am going to try and be as fluffy as you can handle. Premedicate, because we've locked EDC in the basement. Chuck vs The Collision.
Disclaimer: I don't own Chuck and this author is not responsible for any levels of dieabetes that you might suffer.
"Charles, I expect more from you," the voice came from behind him.
"Morgan, don't make me call you that nickname you hate," Chuck retorted.
"Dude," Morgan said in a hushed tone, coming over to him quickly. "You promised never to call me that."
"Then quit acting like you're my professor," Chuck replied, looking over at him, and grinning.
"Sorry, dude, but Dr. Fred's Prepare Yourself for The Collision of Love is the number one self-help book out there," he said, waving it in his hand. Chuck tried not to roll his eyes. "Chuck, whether you agree with the man or not, you have to admit you are better, and more confident than you've been since that evil devil-harpy dumped you."
"Thanks for reminding me, Morgs," Chuck said in a huff.
"So, what are we going to do?"
Chuck rolled his eyes good-naturedly. "We, and by 'we' I mean I, am going to be more open and honest, not hide who I am, so when the…" He looked at his friend with desperation on his face. "Morgan, please don't make me say it, it's cheesy."
"But Chuck, it works." Morgan paused, grinned, and continued. "It's Gouda."
"That was absolutely terrible."
"I know, I'm so proud," Morgan said, drawing up and shaking a little, a grin on his face. He gently hit Chuck in the chest with the book. "What are we going to do?"
"We're going to be our best self so when the…" he looked at Morgan. Morgan gave him a flat look and Chuck sighed. "When 'The Collision of Love'-" Chuck said, with finger quotes "-happens, we are prepared." Chuck stared at his friend. "This is nuts, Morgs. I have a better chance of being hit in the parking lot by a car, than this collision of love. People don't just fall in love. They meet someone, get to know them, and then realize they are."
Morgan shook his head. "She hurt you so bad," he said in a low tone. "But luckily you have me, now, as Ass-Man."
"You really need another name for assistant manager," Chuck interjected.
"Listen, I made it up when I wasn't Ass-Man, so I will not be a hypocrite and change it now that I am," Morgan insisted.
"Is that the humility part for your collision?"
"Laugh all you want my good sir, but you-" he said, pushing his finger lightly into Chuck's chest "-are going to get hit by love so hard one day, that satanic devil-harpy demon succubus…"
"That's a bit much," Chuck muttered.
Morgan ignored him. "…Will be a memory, and all you'll say is, 'Jill, who?'"
"I thought I wasn't supposed to mention Jill?" Chuck asked, confused.
"No, that's admitting mistakes and defeat." Chuck gave him a flat look, and Morgan hurried on.
"Only when Ellie's around," Morgan insisted. "She wants to ignore it ever happened, but you need to accept that it did."
"I accept she broke my heart and slept with Bryce," Chuck said in a flat tone.
"Good!" Morgan said, a grin on his face. The grin fell. He saw Dave. "Shit, he's running."
"What?" Chuck asked.
"Dave, he's got the last copy of the game, and I was supposed to hold it for a customer." Morgan's eyes were huge and pleading. "You have the longest legs."
"The things I do for you," Chuck muttered, leaping over the Nerd Herd desk, and taking off after Dave.
"Don't get hit by a car!" Morgan yelled after him. Chuck rolled his eyes to himself. The chances of getting hit by a car were relatively the same as falling in love again. Chuck appreciated Morgan's help. Chuck knew he wasn't wallowing any longer, but to fall in love? Chuck scoffed at the idea. His heart had been destroyed, and he would never find someone to make him feel, like Jill had, again. Chuck grinned as he closed in on Dave, and that's when he realized the car he was passing was pulling out.
}o{
Sarah Walker walked out of the Weinerlicious, huffing. What the hell was she doing? She had quit the CIA after the mission with the baby. She just couldn't go on, not after what had happened. Ryker was dead, and she, the baby, and Emma were all currently living in Burbank. She didn't need this job, but she needed to get out of the house. She loved her mom, and her sister… well, she guessed Molly qualified as her sister… but being around them all the time was just too much.
In all her years in the CIA, she had taken little down time, jumping from assignment to assignment so as to not have to think about the terrible things she had done. Now she had time on her hands, a family, and it felt wrong. She didn't deserve it. Sarah had taken the first job she saw advertised, and was now thinking it was a very bad idea. She knew she could just quit but… she hated quitting things. She never got to finish anything as a kid, because of her life on the run, and now… this was stupid. This was a nowhere job, with no benefits.
She growled in frustration as she got into her Porsche. A drive, that was what she needed. She started the car, slammed it into reverse, and then hit the brakes as she heard something thump against her car and then to the ground. She put the Porsche in park, got out, and surveyed the scene. On the ground was a man, roughly her age, tall, and with curly hair. She looked over and saw another guy with something in his hand, looking on in shock. The guy threw her the package, and ran off.
She caught the package and placed it on the roof of the car. She then moved to check on the man on the ground. "I'm sorry, I didn't see you backing up," he said, rolling over and holding his ribs.
"I hit you, why are you apologizing?" Sarah asked. The look on his face, as he was trying to figure out what to say next, made her grin. "Is that your thing, go around waiting for women to hit you with their car?"
Chuck's brain remembered what he had been told by Morgan, and he replied with humor… something he used to do a lot more of, before evil-satanic-devil-harpy… maybe Morgan was getting to him. "Only on Tuesdays when I don't have a date for Friday night," he replied, sitting up.
"Should you be doing that?" Sarah asked. "Both sitting up, and getting hit by cars?"
"I don't think anything's broken," he replied. "And this is the first time my trick really worked." She snorted, and he shook his head, getting his bearings. He looked over at her and, for the first time, managed a really good look at her face. And now, he was staring into her eyes. What had he said, the chances of the collision were the same as being hit by a car? Had he cursed himself? He realized he didn't much care.
"Worth it," he said softly, the words slipping out before he could stop them. He didn't think he had said them loud, but she ducked her head and grinned at him, so obviously he had.
"I'm worth getting potentially maimed over?" Sarah asked, a little confused. The thought boggled his mind that she would have to ask that. Her eyes, peering into them… it was like he was transported to a warm happy place, a place he didn't know still existed.
She had noticed him checking her out… well, not exactly. All he was doing was staring at her eyes. Surely, he couldn't mean that just from looking at her eyes like he was… unless he had a head injury.
"BARTOWSKI! QUIT FLIRTING AND GET THAT SHOPLIFTER!" she heard a booming voice yell.
Chuck winced. "Sorry, Big Mike, got hit by a car. Wasn't watching what I was doing."
"DUDE!" she heard another voice yell, and seeing a short bearded man in a vest and tie running up to Chuck. Are you okay?"
"No, I wasn't watching as well as I should have, and I hit you," Sarah countered. She turned to Morgan. "I normally don't go around hitting people with my car."
"That's a good policy," Morgan agreed.
"No, no," Chuck replied, shaking his head, reminding the two of them he was still there. "I shouldn't have been chasing him in a parking lot." Morgan watched his friend, and then turned to Sarah.
"He's getting away with my game, Bartowski," Big Mike yelled, running up. Sarah stood and, with an irritated look on her face, grabbed the package and thrust it at Big Mike.
"There, now let me take him to a hospital. He's been injured, doing something for the store," Sarah said. Big Mike looked very nervous.
Morgan walked over to Big Mike and patted his shoulder. "Actually, why don't we give Chuck the rest of the day off to go see Ellie," Morgan countered. Big Mike and Sarah turned to him. "She can see him, and it can be on the down-low so this won't be workers' comp. I'll work things out with Chuck so you don't have to deal with things like paperwork."
Big Mike nodded. "Good plan," he said to Morgan. He spun to Chuck. "Take today off."
"Thank you, sir," Chuck replied. Big Mike nodded and left. Chuck turned to Sarah. "Chuck Bartowski."
"Sarah Walker," she replied.
"Chuck's heterosexual life-partner, Morgan Grimes," Morgan said with a grin. "Now, you will take care of him, and let me know if anything goes wrong? I'm trusting you."
Sarah smiled at him. "I promise he's in good hands."
"Just don't hit him with the car again… I don't think he can take any more collisions today," Morgan beamed. Chuck gave him a dirty look that Morgan ignored. Sarah watched the two in fascination as Morgan turned and started to walk away.
"It wasn't a collision, more of a hit and take to the hospital," Chuck called out to Morgan.
"Whatever you need to tell yourself, Chuck. Whatever you need to tell yourself," Morgan answered, never turning back. Chuck pressed his lips together, took a deep breath, and turned to Sarah, a smile on his face.
Sarah decided now was not the time to press that particular issue. "Now, tell me where your girlfriend works, so I can take you to her. What is she, a doctor?"
"I don't have a girlfriend," Chuck replied. Sarah couldn't quite grasp why she was so happy to hear that. "And yeah, my sister Ellie is a neurosurgeon."
"Oh, good, 'cause I'm afraid you might have hit your head," she said, trying to see the bump on the back of his head.
"Must have, because I'm seeing a vision right now," he said with a grin. Her eyes widened, but a slow smile accompanied it. That was when it hit him exactly what he said, making his own eyes widen, as the realization set in. Sarah couldn't help but giggle. "Jesus, apparently my filter is busted, as well."
"Are you always this funny, or just when trying to get that date for Friday night?" she asked, leading him to the passenger side and watching him fold up into the car.
"I'm not sure I'm that funny," Chuck retorted. "Nice car."
"I used to have a much better job," she replied with a shrug. "Now…" she trailed off and shook her head.
"So you're saying the Weinerlicious isn't the career you dreamed of as a little girl?" Sarah shook her head, chuckling. "Yeah, I didn't dream about working at the Buy More but… here I am."
"It's not very practical to have this car, but I can't make myself part with it," she admitted.
"Well, it's not like you have a baby you need to put in the back seat," Chuck began, and then saw the look on her face. "Annnnnd, there I go, putting my whole leg in my mouth. I shouldn't be surprised that you would have a husband and baby."
"I don't have a husband," she said, knowing what that would do to him, but wanting to see it. He amused her, he made her feel things, and she wasn't quite sure what to do about it, except tease him.
"I've died and gone to my own personal hell, where I say the exact wrong thing every single time," he said, putting his head in his hands. Sarah laughed out loud.
"Chuck, the baby is my adopted sister. I don't have a husband, a boyfriend, or a date for Friday night," she said, grinning at him. "I just moved here with my mom and my sister so…" she trailed off, shaking her head, amusement covering her face.
"So, you don't really know Burbank, huh?" Sarah shook her head. "What if I showed you around? Maybe find someone other than me to hit with your vehicle?" She snorted. "By the way, you're not gonna make me pay for any damage, right?"
"Oh, you vill pay," she said in a bad German accent. Why, she had no idea. In thirty minutes, she had gone from a foul mood to feeling absolutely silly. "I'm really sorry about hitting you with my car," she said again.
"If I was one of those guys, I would use my injury to get you to go out with me on Friday night, by playing it up." She chuckled silently. A serious look crossed his face. "Wait, by mentioning the injury, does that make me one of those guys?" Her shoulders were shaking from laughter. "I must have hit my head harder than I thought, because I keep on saying the stupidest things." Sarah just smiled, as she pulled into the hospital parking lot.
}o{
"So he was chasing a thief, and ran into you, backing out?" Ellie asked Sarah. Sarah nodded. "I say it's his fault, and you should make him clean the car where he bounced off it. Make sure it's spotless."
"Love," Chuck sang, making the two women turn toward him. "I feeeeellll all the love."
"She could have killed you. You need to pay attention," Ellie admonished.
"Ellie, she was barely moving when I hit her, or she hit me. The only thing I had a chance to die from was her beauty." His eyes widened, and so did Ellie's. Sarah started to laugh again. "My God, I have a tumor, right? Why am I saying such things?"
"No tumor, just a case of the stupids," Ellie said, shaking her head at him.
An idea had been in her head for a while. It was a bad idea. A really bad idea. But no one had made her smile and laugh so much in the past few days. She wasn't sure who was more shocked at the words that left her mouth… her, or Chuck. "So, he'll still be alive Friday?" Sarah asked.
"Yeah, unless I kill him," Ellie said with a shrug. "Older sister prerogative," she explained. "Why?"
"Anyone that will go to the trouble of getting hit by a car to go out with me, they should get the date, right?" The smile on Chuck's face grew. It was just a date, what could go wrong? She looked at Chuck and knew a lot could go wrong… but also, very right. Maybe Burbank wouldn't be so bad after all. In fact, it was looking better and better.
A/N: For those of you who are new and trying this for the first time, you are welcome, and encouraged to review, for the rest of you, feel free as well. I'm FEEEEELING this one. Keep an eye on your email, you never know when I'll update this one. Take care, see you next time.
DC