thinking of her, her, her, her…

~eery

It was already past midnight, the red numerals on Edd's digital clock told as much, the device lying still on the young genius' bedside table, its red blinking light made the screen glow faintly in the dark room. The soft sound of a pencil writing down on a piece of paper was practically the only noise heard within the four walls of the teenager's bedroom aside from the muffled sound of music coming out of the headphones against Edward's ears. Double D had been busy doing his homework for several hours now, a task that he'd typically be done with in the span of a few minutes. The advantages of having a higher IQ than average allowed the young man to be done with his academic studies and schoolwork within a very reasonable time so he could go to bed early. Or at least that was usually the case, this last week had been an exception, it seemed.

The young 17 year old sat in front of his workdesk, the lamp sitting atop said desk to the upper right side providing all the illumination he could ever need when working, his head bobbed up and down slightly as he listened to his song of choice. His eyes were cast down at the paper he was using his pencil on but they looked far from paying attention to what he was actually doing, they were almost glazed over as if he were in his own little world, paying little mind to the task that by now should've been finished hours ago and instead being driven in auto-pilot. His attention kept drifting away from the opened book of history and the report he was supposed to do for class tomorrow. He blinked for a second as he came to his senses and realized he'd neglected to do his assignment for probably the 5th time tonight. Double D let out a sigh of resignation, relaxed his posture, leaned his back against his chair and hung his head back, staring up at the ceiling. He didn't even need to look at the piece of paper to know what he was doing instead of proper schoolwork, he already knew what it was.

A doodle, just a simple doodle.

Edd was far from an artist. He could appreciate fine art for sure, he would often marvel at the intense shading, colouring, and amount of time and effort master artists of old put into their works whenever he went to any sort of museum with an art exhibit. Even though he was far more talented and intellectually blessed with engineering, mathematics, and the like, he still had appreciation for those who could make worthy art and like him were masters of their craft. At most Edd was able to draw a simple amateurish doodle that looked more suited for the newspaper's gag pages than for an art exhibit, so he could at least respect those who were more proficient than him at this. Even so, even with his awful lines, the scribbled contours, the shaky details, the drawing was very clearly of something, or rather, someone.

Her.

She'd been on his mind a lot more than usual lately. For about a week now his attention was elsewhere, likely taking a stroll with Marie Kanker, the occasional walk in the part with the blue-haired punk girl who'd stalked, abused, assaulted, molested, and even fought him and his friends when they were a handful years younger. Of course she'd never acted alone, her two other scary sisters were typically also there to torment his friends. Each one had a fascination with each Ed-boy that none of the trio could ever figure out. Double D had theorized that it was because of hormones going wild within the young women's bodies; much like adolescent men, the fairer sex was still subject to mood swings, increased interest in the opposite gender, and… arousal. Eddy meanwhile just thought the girls were out to get them, like the trailer dwelling trio of girls had some sort of agenda against the boys. Ed meanwhile proposed that the girls were merely interested in sucking the brains out of their heads, like he'd read once in a very very crude comic book. Double D always knew those things would rot poor Ed's brain out.

Whatever the reason they did what they did, they were violent, forceful, and often cruel. And somewhere down the line Edd had begun to feel his heart flutter whenever he heard Marie's teasing voice, his throat would go dry whenever skin made contact, and his mind go numb every time she forced a kiss out of the young man. Of course he still had enough sense about him to make a show of struggling, but that was all it was, a show. And what a show it was, Edd at this point had grown to be just short of a whole head taller than the blue-haired Kanker, and even though the Kankers were unusually strong and Edward was by no means an athlete, his upper body strength should be more than enough to restrain the excited Kanker sister and keep her from locking lips with him. More likely than not that visual was why everyone around typically laughed at the Ed's misfortune whenever they were subject to their daily dose of Kanker affection. But Double D didn't care much on the inside, he got to taste Marie's lips, and that was worth the teasing he and his chums would suffer afterwards from Kevin and Rolf.

It had been maybe a year already since Edd first realized he enjoyed the brief moments he was forced to share with her. But even so, that had never been enough to distract him so that it would impact his academic pursuits. Not until this week at least.

Double D put his left hand on his headphones and pulled them down to hang from his neck, the music still emanating from them. He kept staring up at his ceiling as if it would give him any solution to his ills, but after a moment he breathed in deep, close his eyes, and then sighed out in exasperation as nothing came to mind. He splayed his forearm across his closed eyes and muttered "I should've never gone down to buy some eggs…"

Little over a week ago Edd woke up early as he was always prone to do. Sleep early, get up early. The fact that it was a Saturday and he had no prior commitments for the day with his two best friends was no reason to slack off on his, by now, normal routine. After getting dressed in a plain orange tee with a fading graphic design on the chest area, donning blue jeans, pair of sneakers, and his usual black sky hat he made his way downstairs looking to fix himself some breakfast.

When he made his way into the kitchen he was not surprised in the least to find his parents yet again absent, likely at work like usual. Double D had long since outgrown the pang of loneliness he used to feel when he was much younger, and the resentment towards his parents for leaving their child at home by his lonesome year round had likewise faded away. He saw things on the brightside now, and took their absence as an opportunity at becoming independent for when Edward decided to leave. It was a great opportunity, he'd always tell himself, and he didn't mind so much that he never got to see them anymore, he had to repeat to himself ad nauseam those words to make them true.

Opening the fridge to fetch a couple of eggs to scramble he found a sticky note stuck in the spot the egg cartridge usually sat on. He rolled his eyes and reached for it, already predicting what it was going to say. Yup, he had to go buy himself some eggs.

The weather had begun to cool down quickly after the Summer as Autumn arrived. The leaves were beginning to turn brown and dry up, the air would gust more often down the streets with a chill, and more and more people switched out of their loose comfy tank tops and t-shirts for long-sleeves, scarves, and ear-muffs. But Double D saw no need for all that, it was a 10-15 minute walk down to the convenience store, so he only saw fit to take with him a simple fleece jacket, darkish brown in tone with a hint of orange. Light and warm without being stuffy. The 17 year old made his way down the streets with his hands deep in the pockets of his jacket, his mind conjuring up ideas on how to spend the time with his two friends. No doubt Ed would rather stay at home and watch horror movies, and Eddy would want to try out some of his schemes to get rich quick, but Edward thought it necessary to provide an educational alternative just in case any of his two dear friends had some change of heart... Oh who was he kidding, they'd all go along with Eddy's usual schemes and get themselves into trouble yet again, and when his plan indubitably failed the trio would go to Ed's place to binge watch movies, Double D concluded with a sigh and a shake of his head as he opened the door to the small convenience store and entered.

As soon as he took a step inside he darted to the isle he knew dairy and refrigerated products would be in. As he browsed the products he opted to take with him a couple boxes instead of the one. It would save either him or his mother a trip down to the convenience store this upcoming week. And as he walked back to the counter he picked himself a case of soda for him and the boys later, nothing tasted better after one of Eddys plans went awry at the end of the day than a cool can of pop. That, and it also made excellent makeshift ice-packs where they to get injured somehow. With Eddy's plans, you never knew.

He put his products down on the counter and reached to his back-pocket to pull out his wallet. He already knew what his items would cost, a quick matter of addition when he was looking over the prices and he had instantly calculated how much it would all cost, this was nothing more than a formality with the cashier.

"Wow, a dozen eggs and a six-pack of Fizz Maxx at 8:30 AM? You have some interesting taste." A sweet voice came from behind the counter. Double D didn't initially understand why his heart started beating faster at the employee until he looked up from the money he was counting in his hand. Once his eyes rose up to look at the person in question he could swear his heart skipped a beat.

Marie. Freaking. Kanker.

His instincts and the many years of Pavlovian conditioning told him to run, get out of there as quick as he could, never look back and find a new place to do his shopping. His pounding eager heart on the other hand told him not to move a damn muscle. He stood there, looking across at the blue-haired girl behind the counter, her short hair swept to cover one of her eyes, her typical black tank-top with ripped sleeves was hidden behind an orange apron the employees of this store were always meant to don, her lower body concealed by the counter between them. She stared at him just as silently as he did. Neither daring to make the first move or utter the first word after Marie's initial comment. One of the coins resting atop Double D's hand chose after about 30 seconds to slowly roll off the young lad's hand and clanging on the floor with a faint 'ting' before bouncing off the ground, hitting the floor with a fainter 'ting', bouncing again and rolling beneath the counter.

"Marie?" he somehow sputtered, his voice wasn't shaky but it certainly was uncertain. Was he in a dream? He'd shopped over at this convenience store for years now, ever since he moved to the cul-de-sac, and long long before the Kankers moved in, he'd never seen her or any of her siblings ever even set foot in the store. He'd been here two days ago and there was no Kanker in sight.

"In the flesh." she commented with a nod.

"What're you-" Double D began asking but almost as if Marie knew what he was going to ask she immediately answered it for him.

"Started working here a couple weeks ago to get some extra money. I work morning Saturdays and late-night Sundays," she said with a smirk and then leaned over the counter, closing in the distance between them by a few inches, "And to be honest, it's good to get a break from my sisters, at least during the weekends." she told him with a conspiratorial whisper and a wink, but with one of her eyes concealed by her hair the act wasn't picked up by Edd.

"Oh." Edd replied, that at least explained why he'd never seen her working here, he didn't typically do any shopping during the weekends unless he really needed to. A new silence fell between them.

They kept looking at one another. This was awkward despite having no reason to be.

He could tell it was awkward for her too, her eyes soon drifted away from his and she shyly bit down on her bottom lip, the labret silver stud piercing on her bottom lip suddenly vanishing behind her teeth, her hands fidgeted on the counter, trying to fiddle with anything to distract herself, keep herself busy, but not daring to reach for her loverboy's items in case he suddenly came to his senses and dashed out the door. It's what she was expecting, honestly.

His throat was dry, he could feel a cold sweat breaking down on him standing in front of her out in public like this. So many conflicting feelings on his mind. On one hand he had to maintain this image, not just in front of her but everyone that he was very much so not interested in her, not in the least, and even though the store seemed to be empty aside from the two teens it would be too weird for him to suddenly be welcoming to her advances when she inevitably lunged for him like always. She'd been trying to 'get him' for years now, they'd forged this unspoken agreement almost that he wasn't into her, and she didn't care because she was into him. To go and break this routine of theirs felt wrong in some way. On the other hand, he liked their moments, their touches, their kisses, and even gropes, he often had to hold himself back from the urge to reciprocate her advances. It was tough, so so tough to resist Marie but he somehow always resisted her.

The punk-rocker gathered enough courage to break the silence and coughed with one hand up to her mouth, trying her best to seem casual, "So uhh, you want me to scan these for you?"

He blinked, his eyes fixed on her lips, awaiting eagerly for her lunge. The inevitable lunge at his own pair of lips, her tongue forcing its way into his mouth and her arms wrapping tightly around him to beg him not to leave. Any moment now, as soon as she's done speaking she'd bound to do it. She finished speaking. A second passed. Two seconds. 5 seconds. Why wasn't she doing anything? He looked back up at her eyes and caught her looking at him expectantly. 10 seconds, still no lip-locking… He nodded his head. He hadn't heard a word she said but by the look on her face she was waiting for an answer, and subconsciously Double D prayed she hadn't teased him with some inappropriate question and he'd unknowingly agreed to it, ruining the non-consensual charade.

Very politely and carefully she picked up his items and dutifully scanned them, adding up the prices on her computer's screen she began saying, "Alright, total price comes at-" now was his time to interrupt her.

"Eight dollars and 29 cents." He replied automatically. Truthfully his eyes were looking at her lips and he managed to read them, he was lucky enough to look back up at her eyes right as she turned them towards him. She looked confused before a light bulb turned on in her head and she remembered with a chuckle and smile.

"Oh right, I forgot you're smart."

It wasn't that smart. Quick second grade math, at best, but he felt his chest swell with pride at her complimenting him and his cheeks turned slightly rosy before he looked away, suddenly bashful. She produced a white plastic bag with the logo of the convenience store chain and put the products inside it as Double D casually placed the correct amount on the counter. She handed him his bag of groceries.

"Have a… great day." she said, her eyes suddenly didn't want to meet his and she busied herself sweeping the 5 dollar bill and the small collection of coins onto her hand before carefully putting them all in their designated sections inside the register.

"Likewise." Double D managed to utter through a parched throat, bag in hand and his foot halfway out the store. He stopped and turned back, walking up to the counter towards Marie, she was just finishing up putting a penny in the pennies slot when she noticed him approaching. He noticed how she bit down on her bottom lip again, faintly this time, it was just for half a second, but it was there and Edd noticed.

"Something wrong?" she asked.

"Why…" he began, staring at her face before looking down and away from her at the ground, he gathered some courage and continued, "Why didn't you act like you usually do?"

She visibly flinched, her eyes widening. "How I usually act… ?" she muttered, her voice shy and unsteady, like a child who'd been caught doing something they shouldn't be doing and trying in vain to play dumb.

Double D nodded.

She swallowed hard and looked away, one hand going up to her face to swipe at the bangs covering one of her eyes, for a second revealing it, and in that second Edd got to notice how cute this little punk rocker's eyes looked, his heart fluttered but he remained as composed as he could. She blushed and let out a nervous chuckle.

"Wh-what do you mean, c-cutie?" she tried to draw in that confident attitude she always had when she teased him, ever since he was a young boy, but as her eyes roved over and stared up at him she noticed, not for the first time, that he wasn't a little frightened boy anymore, he looked more and more like a man grown. That realization, again not for the first time, made her feel her own heart race and butterflies fly around in her tummy. She sighed and let down her guard. "This has been a long time coming… but… I'm sorry."

Double D raised an eyebrow, he was a clever young man, he could follow most reasoning, but not this one.

"I…" Marie began speaking, not daring to look at his forced lover's face, her eyes fixed at whatever she could stare at that to keep her mind off of his face.

"I kind of… kind of put on a sort of… act, when I'm around my sisters." She finally dared to look up at his eyes. "Nobody likes being the outcast, and I don't want to be the black sheep among sisters because I'm not as impulsive and predatory as they are with you boys."

"So you don't want to jump over that counter and basically rape me?" he spoke, his tone flat. He wouldn't know where he pulled the balls to speak to a Kanker like this, this was certainly a new development. His wording was crass and a bit out there, he certainly didn't WANT to be raped, nobody did, even if it was Marie Kanker, and he doubted she'd ever go so far, even when he was convinced that she was a predator.

"What?! No!" she lifted her hands up and began shaking her head vigorously, her blue hair swaying from side to side as she did so almost hid the fact that she was blushing as deep red as a tomato. Almost. "I'd never do that! I swear!"

Ok, so it was established that Marie didn't consider forcibly kissing, french-kissing, groping and the like as rape or even assault. That was… something he should probably work at teaching her otherwise before she ever gets into some serious trouble with someone who's not as open to her tender lips as he is.

Marie's head stopped shaking from side to side and she tentatively lowered her hands, her blush was still present, but now more of a rosy pink than a tomato red. Her one visible eye was locked onto Double D's, shaky with anticipation and fear he wouldn't believe her. He just stared at her, mouth agape slightly at the sudden switch from what he always assumed a Kanker would be like and what he saw right now in front of his very own eyes. Her bottom lip was quivering just barely, the stud on her lip being once again hidden from him as she bit her bottom lip in fear for his response. Would he believe her?

Edd slowly closed his parted mouth, his eyes never leaving hers, before he started to slowly nod his head and turn around to walk out. Just before he completely faced away from her, Marie managed to catch the beginnings of a smile on the corner of the 17 year old's lips. As he walked out of the store a weight was lifted off Marie's shoulders and she released a breath she wasn't aware she was holding in before faintly smiling herself.

That all happened a week ago, Double D had made a considerable effort and steered clear of the store district for the time being. Whenever Ed and Eddy were harassed at school out of nowhere by May and Lee he noticed with disappointment that Marie wasn't ever present, the only place he allowed himself to enjoy Marie's abuse and she had suddenly decided to grow remorseful and quit it. The taunts from Lee and May directed at Double D whilst hugging their would-be boyfriends about how Marie was feeling under the weather and he'd soon get a little bit of 'lovin' stung at Edd's heart. He knew that that would never come. He responded positively when she said she'd never go too far with her forwardness, no doubt she'd taken it as some sort hint that to truly win his heart she'd have to let him make the first move. Damn, not only was she cute, she was also thoughtful when she wanted to be.

But the worst part of it all? It was working. Day by day, his thoughts revolved more and more around Marie Kanker and smearing her glossy lipstick with his lips and tell her that now she had permission to kiss him whenever she wanted.

Damn.

He took his arm from top of his face and leaned his chair back, trying to look over at his digital clock. It read 00:17 AM. Marie worked Saturday mornings and late-night on Sundays. And the store only closed at 01:00 in the morning…

Double D gulped down hard, sweat rolling down the side of his face. She was there, waiting for him because she was obsessed with him, and he was here, drawing her (badly) because he was obsessed with her. He got off his chair quickly, grabbed his fleece jacket and ran out his empty house on his way to the convenience store.

AN: Hey everyone, thanks so much if you managed to read through all that. I'd appreciate some feedback, whether good or bad through reviews or private messages! I'm serious, I'm trying to get back into the writing game and I need some tough love. Tear at me in the reviews if you think the pacing was awful, if I mischaracterized the characters (although do keep in mind they're all 17 rather than 12 in this fic) or if my grammar was subpar. Was it too long? Too short? This is intended as a one-shot but if enough interest is drawn I might make it a series. Ta-ta!

rebornrose