Running Back to Safety

Everyone has baggage. Emotionally, physically, or mentally, it all holds us back from what we really want. After years of fending for herself Danni Swan has a lot of baggage. She doesn't think anyone can help her carry it as things only get more complicated everyday. (Based after Bella's "death")

Chapter One: Returning

I stumble around the moving boxes scattered around my apartment; reaching the ringing phone just in time.

"Hello?" I answer a little out of breath.

"Danni Swan?" A deep male voice asked into the phone.

"Speaking," I said, unsure what this call was about.

"This is Seth Clearwater. I know your uncle Charlie." His voice sounded nervous, sad even.

"Did something happen, is Charlie okay?" I asked, with worse case scenarios running through my mind.

"Charlie's fine. I don't know how to say this, but he got a call about your cousin Bella. I hate to be the one to tell you, but she was killed in a car accident last night." I was so shocked I had no reaction, I just stood frozen holding the phone as I stared blankly at the bare wall opposite me.

"When's the funeral?" My voice cracked, making the words hard to understand. I looked down at the floor where my little boy sat happily playing with his alphabet blocks, completely oblivious to the emotional roller coaster I was currently riding.

"Next Friday. I'm really sorry for your loss," Seth said softly.

"Thank you for calling me," I replied as tears began to fall down my face, making it hard to speak. "Can you tell Charlie that I'll by there as soon as I can."

"Sure thing. I'll tell him. Again, sorry for you loss."

"Thank you." I hung up the phone before walking over to Jay, picking him up so I could hold him close to me. I simply cried into his hair as I clutched him to my chest. With Bella being raised by her mother, I hadn't known my cousin very well. I hadn't even been invited to her wedding last year, but that didn't take the sting out of losing yet another family member. I had never known my dad, my mom had died serving over seas in the Marines when I was ten. My Gram raised my sister and I form as far back as I could remember. Gram died a little over three years ago. My sister and I had long since gone our separate ways, for all I know she was dead. To my knowledge Charlie is the only family I have left except for Jay.

Jay began tapping his little hands against my shoulder as he tried pulling away from my chest, grunting in an attempt to go back to his blocks. I snuffed as I shifted him into my left arm and wiped away the tears from my face. I set Jay back down to play and looked around at all the boxes. We were moving again, I hadn't decided where to yet, but now it looked like Forks was as good a place as any to go. I hadn't been home since Gram's funeral, it would be nice to go back there again. And being home I would be able to help Uncle Charlie. Gram had left me the old house, so I wouldn't even have to find somewhere to stay.

I resumed packing, but now with renewed hurry as I placed our things into the boxes. I didn't have much seeing as I moved a lot and that being a single mother didn't bring in much money. By night fall I had everything packed and in the back of my car. Jay was fast asleep in his car seat as I pulled away from the apartment building, no intentions of ever coming back. I had left the keys to the apartment in the mailbox for the lady that owned the building to come collect in the morning.

I barely gave Portland a backward glance as we left the city limits. It was no longer safe for Jay or I to remain here, looking back we should have left a couple months ago. The only reason we had stayed as long as we had was because my job had paid well enough and I thought being in a big city would make it easier to stay hidden. I looked in my rear view mirror at the sleeping toddler in the backseat. The very thought of anything ever happening to him or having to leave him terrified me more than words could ever describe. That little boy has become my entire reason to keep going, he was the reason I pulled myself out of bed in the morning and kept moving.

Jay hadn't been planned, but that wasn't his fault. I would never hold the circumstances that he came into the world under against him, in reality he was a blessing in disguise. I smiled as I heard a quiet snore come from the back seat. As I glanced in the mirror I could see his little mouth forming a perfect 'o' as his little round head lulled against his shoulder. I treasure moments like this, when he was simply sleeping or being a happy child. I know that he'll grow up too quickly and that things will change, but that doesn't stop me from wishing that I could freeze time so he would stay my little baby boy for just a bit longer.

It was well after eleven at night when I pulled into the driveway of the old farm style house I was raised in. I carried Jay in first, uncovering the sheet covered couch to lay him on while I went back out to the car to get the baggage we would need in the morning. The rest could wait till tomorrow. The old house lacks power at the moment. I would have to make a few calls in the next couple of days to get the electricity turned back on and to get the TV hooked up. I locked the door before carrying Jay up to my old bedroom. Dakota had lived here a while after Gram's death but it looks like Uncle Charlie had kept the place locked up since she left. When I opened the door, my room was exactly the way I had left it.

I carefully peeled Jay out of his jacket and shoes before laying him gently down on the far side of the bed against the wall. I placed the small jacket and shoes on the dresser before taking my own jacket and shoes off. Thankfully the house had a well so the water wasn't shut off and I could brush my teeth. As I brushed my teeth I looked at myself in the bathroom mirror. I hated looking at myself, not because I though of my self as ugly, but because whenever I saw myself I saw my sister. They were never my dark green eyes looking back at me, they were hers. Long black hair, thick eyelashes, full lips, slightly tanned skin, that was all hers too.

Besides looks Dakota and I where nothing alike. I call myself crazy for thinking about her so much. There always seemed to be a thought flouting around in my mind about her. I changed before I joined Jay in bed to fall asleep.

I woke as the sun just started to shine through the window on the far side of the room as two small hands pushed against my chest in an attempt to shake me. Small grunts accompanied the shoves as I proved harder to wake than Jay had expected. I groaned as I moved my arms to surround Jay and pulled him to my chest. I knew there was no hope in getting any more sleep, but I prayed Jay would at least give me a couple minutes to wake up properly before he started demanding to be fed.

When I could finally open my eyes without wincing at the sun coming through the window, I got out of bed, carrying Jay with me as I walked down the stairs. He was great at walking across the floor on his own, but I didn't want him falling down the stairs in an attempt to follow me. I quickly changed Jay's diaper and put him into some new, warmer clothes before feeding Jay his baby food. I took small bits of my own bowl of cereal in between spoonfuls of green peas and carrots. When we were finished I carried Jay back upstairs so I could change and get ready for today.

...

While Jay played with his toys on the living room floor I made several trips back and forth between the house and the car, bringing in our things and setting up Jay's portable crib in the old guest room next to mine. When it was finally an acceptable hour to receive a visit I packed Jay into the car and drove a couple streets over to Charlie's house. The cruiser was parked in the driveway as usual, but there was another car in the driveway too, a tan honda that I know didn't belong to Charlie.

When I knocked on the door an older woman that looked to be part of the local reservation answered the door. I was just as surprised to see her as she was to see me.

"Can I help you?" She asked kindly.

"Um… Does Charlie Swan still live here?" I asked concerned.

"Yes, of course dear. Come on in." The woman opened the door wider so Jay and I could step inside.

"You must be Charlie's niece, Danni. I'm Sue Clearwater, my son, Seth, was the one to call you yesterday." I gave her a sad smile as I nodded, now remembering her from when I was younger. Her husband and Charlie were good friends.

"Who's this little guy?" Sue asked and smiled at Jay, allowing him to grasp her finger as she moved it up and down like they were shaking hands causing Jay to give her a big smile.

"Jaime, but I call him Jay." She smiled down at him a moment longer before returning her attention to me.

"Seth said you promised to come as soon as possible. We didn't figure that you'd be here so soon," Sue said apologetically.

"That's alright. I had been packing to move when Seth called me. I was living down in Portland, it was nothing to drive the couple hours to get here. I actually got in late last night."

"Oh!" Sue said sounding surprised as she lead me toward the kitchen. "Charlie you've got visitors." Sue said as she walked through the kitchen doorway. Charlie was seated at the table with Billy Black and a young man that I'm assuming to be Sue's son Seth.

"Danni?" Charlie asked I came into the room. He quickly stood and wrapped Jay and I in a tight hug.

"I'm so sorry Uncle Charlie." I whispered as I wrapped one arm around his shoulders while holding Jay with the other. Charlie hugged me a little tighter for a second before pulling away with a snuff, wiping at his eyes.

"Thanks Danni." Charlie looked down in my arms before a small smile came to his face.

"Little man's gotten so big since I saw him last!" Charlie held his arms out to take Jay, easily taking him from me when Jay reached out toward him.

"Yeah he just won't stop growing." Charlie nodded as Billy cleared his throat at the table.

"Oh. Danni you remember Billy Black?" I nodded as I smiled at Billy, I had been taken on a couple of their fishing trips over the years.

"And that behemoth of a boy is Sue's son Seth. Seth, this is my niece Danni and her boy Jay." I smiled as I held my hand out to Seth. It was hard to believe he was the same kid I had known years ago.

"Nice to see you again, Seth." Seth nodded as he shook my hand.

"You too, Danni. I wish it was under better circumstances." I nodded before turning my attention back to Charlie and Jay, the two seemed to ignore us as they played peek-a-boo. Jay was giggling at Charlie as the two seemed to be in their own little bubble. I was glad that even with all the pain Charlie must feel over losing Bella, he was still able to smile.

"Where are you two staying? I hope it's not that old motel on the edge of town." Billy asked from across the table, bringing my attention away from Charlie and Jay.

"Oh, no. Gram left me the house, Jay and I are staying there for the time being." Billy nodded, obviously relieved that we weren't staying in the trashy, dump this town called a motel.

"Good. That's no place to stay with a child." I agreed full heartedly. I would have spent the night sleeping in the car before I would have stayed a night there.

"How are Jacob and the girls?" I questioned as I took a seat in the available chair.

"Good, good. Rachel's studying to become a teacher at UW, Rebecca's married and living with her husband in Hawaii and Jake just finished his last year of school now he's off traveling."

"Wow. I didn't realise I had missed so much back here while I was away."

"You're not the only one. We were all surprised when we found out you were going to have a little one of your own." I smiled though I was cringing on the inside, remembering why I had stayed away for so long. No one in this town could ever keep a secret. If one person know it, everyone knew it. I imagine that the rumour mill would have been buzzing as soon as everyone knew I was in town with a child of my own.

"He definitely was a surprise, but I love him just the same." Billy seemed a little taken aback by my tone, but nodded before changing the subject. Being away hadn't changed this town and I would have to get use to it if I was going to spend any substantial time here with Jay. But I swore to myself that Jay would never feel unloved as long as I lived. I turned away from Billy as he tried to smooth over his blunder of pointing out Jay's unexpected arrival to look at Charlie.

"So what can I do, Uncle Charlie?"

AN: thank you for reading this story i hope you like it and follow.

This was an adopted story of the same name but i have gone though and changed many things about it just in case anyone reconised some things the original writer has now taken down her version of the story from what i can find.