I'm so excited to share this with you all as it's my first pre canon Darvey multi chapter fic!

Set after 7x08 – What would have happened if Donna had let herself inside that hotel room?

I had this idea stuck in my mind for ages and then Sarah took me to the Fairmount (where they filmed the hotel scene) during my trip to Toronto and I just had to write this.

This is also my first attempt to angst so, I hope you'll enjoy the story and I'll love to hear your thought!

A huge thank you to Marie (darveycaptain) and Sarah (catsballeths) for being the best beta readers and for the never-ending support, you girls make me better.

Happy reading xx

(I don't own Suits, any of its characters or this song)

Six feet under

Chapter 1: Help, I lost myself again

It was ten past nine when she found herself in front of that hotel room number 508. She didn't know why she was there, but after the awkward conversation with Paula in the morning and all the drama with Harvey that had recently broken her heart, she needed a night for herself, a night to take her mind off her problems.

She read Rachel's text seconds before he opened the door.

"Hope you're having a hot time on your date. You deserve the best"

And there he was, standing right in front of her half-smiling with his grizzly hair that looked a bit messed up.

"I didn't know if you'd come" he was staring so deep into her hazel eyes, as if he wanted to look for the slightest sign of guilt, or regret.

"Neither did I" she merely whispered under her breath. She was sure Mark hadn't heard her, but her consciousness most certainly had.

She made her way inside and started to unbutton her pink coat. Her outfit could have looked like an odd choice for a Summer night, but it all made a lot more sense when she removed the coat.

She was standing in nothing but a black lace bra that perfectly shaped her breasts and the matching underwear. She saw Mark's jaw drop the moment she let her coat slip onto the bedroom floor.

"Jesus, Donna…" he had already seen her naked before, but, somehow, she had even got hotter over the years, and he never thought that anyone could be nearly as hot as Donna was when she was his.

"Take me to bed, Mark" she couldn't wait any longer. It didn't matter what would happen in the morning, tonight she was all in.

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The next morning she arrived at work later than usual, mostly because of the lack of sleep last night had caused her.

As she strolled into the halls of Pearson Specter Litt with her vanilla coffee in one hand, she was stopped by a familiar face.

"Hi, Donna!" Rachel seemed even more excited than usual "How did your date go? I wanna know all the details right now" the brunette giggled as she grabbed Donna's arm and dragged her into her office.

"It was good" she didn't want to share the circumstances with her friend, not because she was afraid she would judge her, but because she knew Rachel would tell Mike everything and, the last thing she needed was Harvey finding out about the steamy night with her ex. Her married ex.

"Good? That's all you have to say? You look like you've slept five minutes Donna, you're not going to fool anyone around here and you're definitely not going to fool me"

"Okay, it was better than good. It was some of the best yoga I've had in a long time, but…" maybe she could open up a bit - after all, Rachel was her best friend who has been there for her every step of the way, she deserved to know.

"What's wrong?" a worried expression started to form on her friend's face.

"I didn't have a date with some random guy yesterday, Rachel. It was Mark" Donna was sure she would remember who he was, that mock trial was still engraved in everyone's mind around the firm.

"Do you love Harvey Specter?"

"That's enough!"

How much she wished she could forget.

"Wait a minute, that Mark?! The one who asked you to choose between him and Harvey years ago?"

"Yeah, that Mark… We went out for lunch a couple of days ago and, well, we both felt something was still there. The problem is he's married Rach…but I slept with him anyway" she started to feel ashamed. Hearing those words out loud definitely had an impact on her.

"Donna, that's huge!" Rachel was in shock. She definitely hadn't seen any of it coming.

"I know… but could you please keep it to yourself? The last thing I need is more people gossiping about my sex life around the office" the comments about her late nights with Harvey that somehow ended up in her becoming COO were more than enough already.

"Don't worry, Donna. My lips are sealed" Rachel said while squeezing her friend's arm "Now I gotta go because I have tons of work to do this morning. But why don't you come by after work and we can talk this through? Mike is gonna be out late tonight, so we'll have the place all to ourselves" she smiled, and Donna was sure she meant to be friendly, but she felt some self-pity anyway. Because she was sure Rachel knew what had led to her sleeping with Mark. Or rather, who.

"Sounds good! See you later" she smiled back at her friend and headed back to her office, intended to drown herself in work today to keep her mind off the mess she had made.

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She was making her way out of the offices to enjoy her well-deserved lunch break when she spotted him coming out of the elevators with a hopeful look on his face.

What was he doing here? She had left without barely saying a word that morning and she knew they had to sort things out, but she wasn't expecting to see him so soon. Let alone at the firm.

"Mark, what are you doing here?" she sounded nervous and had a visibly alarmed look on her face.

"Wow, I wasn't expecting a welcoming kiss, but I didn't think I'd catch you so disappointed to see me either" he tried to joke, but deep down she knew he was hurt. He still had feelings for her, he probably never stopped loving her all this time.

"I am not. It's just…" she was now grabbing his arm guiding him towards the elevators "Can we talk somewhere else?"

She had barely managed to get one of her Prada stilettos into the elevator when she heard Louis behind her "Oh there you are, I need you to come with me now, you have to help me choose the font for my new business card. I don't wanna risk picking something too manly for me"

"Actually Louis, I am in the middle of something right now, can this wait until after my lunch break?" of all the things she could focus her mind on right now, Louis' drama queen needs were her last priority.

"Donna, please. I told Esther I'd send her my new business card tomorrow and I have to blow her stupid muffins commercial away" of course he had to, he was Louis after all.

"Okay, just wait for me in your office. I'll be there in five" the sooner she'd free her hands of that weird situation, the better. She already had more than enough on her plate.

"Mark, I'll call you later, okay?" she knew she had to deal with him, but a couple of hours wouldn't mess up their relationship more than it already had been.

"Okay, have a good day, Donna"

She watched him take the elevator to the lobby and she had such a heavy feeling on her heart. How was she supposed to get out of this? Had she made an irreversible choice?

She was so caught up in her own thoughts that she didn't even notice Harvey's presence behind her as she was walking to Louis' office.

He had watched the whole scene and his eyes were full of confusion and even a bit of rage. He had no idea Mark was back in her life and he certainly didn't expect the two of them to be dating again after the tough ultimatum he had put her in front of years ago.

How could she be seeing him again after all of that?

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He spent the whole day in his office preparing himself for court and he didn't notice it was way past the time he was supposed to head home. But apparently, he wasn't alone.

"Hi, I spotted you here and I thought you could use some help with all of those files" she was smiling through the dim lights of his office, her red hair shining even though the rest of the firm was practically black.

"I could" he smiled back at her, making some space on his desk to let her wander through all the depositions he had in front of him.

They worked together for an hour until he addressed the elephant in the room "I couldn't help but notice Mark was here earlier today…"

Her facial expression changed immediately. She wasn't ready to face the conversation that she knew was coming.

"Oh… yeah, we had lunch a couple of days ago. He just came to see if I was free today for a second round"

He knew she was lying, she couldn't even look at him while answering his question "You're lying"

"What?" she raised her head and she was now facing him.

"I said you're lying. Don't forget that I can read you too, Donna" he was so confident and that alone was already driving her crazy

"You know, it doesn't really matter why he was here… and it's late, so I should probably go home"

"You two are seeing each other again, aren't you?" he may have sounded abrupt, but he was tired of hearing bullshit excuses.

"No, we're not… I mean, I don't know" she was telling the truth this time. She had no idea what they were doing with their time. Other than cheating on his wife.

"What do you mean you don't know?" now he was even more confused than before, but he sure as hell wanted to know what was going on. Even though he knew it wasn't his right to ask her.

"Harvey, I really am not in the mood to talk about this right now" she just wanted to get out of the firm quickly and head home with her bottle of wine, since she had to turn down Rachel's offer due to her work load.

"You slept with him again" he was visibly angry. The mere thought of her in bed with Mark made the blood boil in his veins.

"And what if I did? Why would you even care? You have a girlfriend, Harvey. And I even had the pleasure of running into her right here yesterday. By the way, I'm glad you guys are so happy together" her tone was more irritated than ever.

"So, that's the problem. You're jealous" she could see a small grin forming on his lips and she couldn't stand giving him the satisfaction.

"I'm not jealous Harvey, I'm tired and I just wanna go home" she was getting impatient. She wanted to end this conversation as soon as possible.

"What's making you so nervous, Donna?" he knew something was off with her, and she had felt that way since the first moment he saw her in the morning.

"Nothing, I told you I just need to get some sleep"

"Bullshit. You're hiding something from me"

She couldn't hold it anymore. The words came out of her mouth even before she had the chance to stop them "He is married okay? I slept with him and he has a wife" she yelled, while tears started streaming down her cheeks.

They were face to face now, but he was speechless. He couldn't believe Donna agreed to be the other woman. And not for just anyone, but for Mark.

"Wow… I never thought of you as someone who could go that low just to get laid"

She didn't even bother letting him finish his sentence, her hand slapped him across the face as soon as those words left his mouth.

"How dare you. You don't get to have a say in this, Harvey. I do whatever I want with whoever I want because I have to life my life" she wasn't sure anymore if her eyes had more tears or rage at this point.

"Yeah, you've told me that once already. You seem to be living your life with so many people, Donna" he moved dangerously close to her "But tell me, did he make you scream as much as I did?" he whispered in her ear as his mouth moved too close to that sensitive spot on her neck.

"Fuck you, Harvey" she pushed him away, and once they were face to face again, she saw his eyes going completely black.

"Are you sure that's what you want to say to me, Donna?" he was teasing her and she couldn't stand it.

"Fuck you" she repeated those words without losing eye contact with him for a second, as if she needed to convince herself more than him.

He moved closer again until there was merely an inch between them. He placed his hands on her waist and started roaming them up and down her body. She could feel every fiber of it burning under his fingers. Burning of desire for him.

"Fuck me, Harvey" she moaned, while his skilled mouth finally found her neck.

He raised his head and kissed her hard, his hands leaving her waist only to grab her ass and guide her towards his desk. With a rapid movement, he tossed every file away from his desk and placed her on it. She moaned a little when her bare skin touched the cold surface and that made his bulge grow even harder inside his pants.

He reached for the hem of her dress and moved it up her waist so he could get better access to her. His fingers started teasing the inside of her tights, purposely avoiding the places where she needed him the most. She let out a groan of annoyance.

"Anything you need?" his smirk had never been so loud before.

"Shut up, Harvey, I'm still mad at you" she had no intention of letting him get to her. Tonight was pure pleasure.

She reached for his belt and she unbuckled it in a heartbeat, pulling down his pants and boxers in one move.

He couldn't wait anymore. With one swift turn, he pushed himself all the way inside her, causing her to gulp

He could feel her adjusting to his length and he could swear it was even better than their first time.

"God Donna, you feel so good" he started moving, slowly but hitting that spot he knew would drive her crazy. That same spot he had hit several times twelve years ago.

"No talking" she put her finger on his mouth while kissing him and letting his tongue invade her mouth.

He started increasing their pace until he felt her walls clenching around him. He made sure he was looking straight into her beautiful eyes as they both came at the same time.

As soon as he pulled out of her seconds later, she stepped away from his desk and fixed her dress. She didn't say a word. She just grabbed her purse and tried to make her way out of his office because she didn't want him to see she was crying. But it was too late, he had already noticed.

He reached for her arm and stopped her "Donna, please"

His eyes weren't dark anymore. Now they seemed filled with something else, something that looked a lot like love.

"Harvey… let me go" she removed his hand from her arm and walked herself to the elevator while wiping away her tears.

She just had sex with Harvey, in his office. And once again, all she got out of it was a broken heart.

She just couldn't face any of that tonight.