They look at Voight in stunned silence. One more time Ruzek asks are you sure? Voight doesn't answer him this time but puts his answer out to the room.
"I've already spelled it out. I've shown you what they've got. Do I have to draw anyone a picture?" He looks at each one of them. "Good. Get back to work." He walks back into his office and slams the door.
You could hear a pin drop as they all went to their desks and individually cycled through; denial, reluctant acceptance, fear, disbelief, skipped over denial, back to acceptance but with a big 'what the fuck' attached to it. Then they moved on to cycle through hurt, sadness, betrayal and finally anger at Jay, as they all rethought their relationships with one Det. Jay Halstead.
As they stewed in their emotions for the next hour, they hadn't thought through what they would do when Jay arrived from court; so they were all stunned when he came bounding up the steps, wearing his shit kicking grin and raring to go. With his testimony, his part in the Pearson case was finally over. Thank God. He got one step into the bullpen and it was like he ran into a wall. The anger rolling off the team at him was palpable.
It is Voight who finally speaks, "Halstead my office."
Jay gets as far as his desk when two IA detectives come from the back stairs. It's obvious, though he doesn't know why, that they're here for him.
"Sarg, what the hell..."
"As of right now, you are on unpaid administrative leave. I need your badge and gun."
"Sarg?"
"Gun and badge, Halstead. Don't make me ask again."
In what feels like slow motion, he removes the clip from his gun, removes the badge hanging around his neck and holds them out to his Sergeant...who doesn't take them. He feels the squeeze of his heart as he steps forward and lays his life on the desk.
One of the IA detectives steps forward, takes Jay's badge and gun and hands them to his partner.
"Jay Halstead, you are under arrest. Please place your hands on the desk. Do you have any other weapons on your person?"
Jay looks at Voight, a man he has come to respect, a man he would call a friend, a man who, in a heart beat, he would take a bullet for. But he gets nothing. He's become a ghost to him in the time it took to walk to his desk.
Jay doesn't put his hands on the desk but responds to the question, "No. Nothing else. Sarge, what's going on?" What he saw in Voight's eyes made him think that Sarg was wishing he could take him to the silos. Voight doesn't respond to the question, just stands there closed off, arms crossed against his chest, leaning against the wall.
He turns his to each member of the team and silently asks each of them that same question. No one says anything. What he sees, hell feels almost knocks him on his ass. Anger and something like disbelief from Adam. Atwater looks like he is taking the measure of the man and not liking what he saw in Jay. Burgess looking at him like she was looking at a stranger. Antonio looked at him then turned away like a father who had just disowned his son. Each look he receives in return to his silent question, seems to squeeze his heart tighter and tighter until he gets to Hailey. There is disappointment and sadness from Hailey but when he lingers on her, hoping for support, she looks at him with anger and turns away from him. He had hoped her response would release his heart. Instead, the look he receives from his most trusted friend, grips his heart and squeezes it to dust. His face twists in pain as tears prick the back of his eyes. The despair he broadcasts is brief before the stoic masked falls, shuttering his feelings.
Jay is shocked, not by being arrested. Yes, that was shocking but that shock was trumped by the shock of his team's reaction to him being arrested.
When Al got arrested they all fought for him, they were all pissed. First that Al was getting arrested but also for the way they went about it. They were going to put cuffs on AL?! A veteran on the force AND perp walk him out of here? Al was innocent and we all knew it, never doubted it.
Stunned, he is on auto pilot as he goes to place his hands on the desk, then comes to his senses, "Wait…" He pulls away from the arresting officers, "Just wait!"
He just stares at them. Finally the emotion he didn't even realize he should or even could have, slams into him like a freight train.
Anger.
He turns to the team. "What the hell is this? What the fuck is going on?"
He looks around the room, at the officers, at his team. "What am I being arrested for?"
The gate buzzes and Will comes running up the steps. He stops in his tracks, taking in the scene and then looks at Voight. He blows out a breath and hangs his head. He doesn't look surprised. He doesn't question what is happening.
What the…"Will? WILL!"
And just like that, his anger is taken from him. His breath leaves his body. Will's blatant dismissal is a punch in the gut of epic proportions. Again he feels his face twist in pain. He hates that he has no control over his emotions and for the second time in 5 minutes he has broadcast that pain to anyone looking. He blinks away the tears, refusing to let them fall, they make him feel weak. He has never felt so lost, not even when he came back from Afghanistan.
Will doesn't look at him, just takes a step back and leans agains the wall, never lifting his head. Not acknowledging him in the slightest. His heart squeezes in his chest and he briefly wonders if that could actually kill him if it continues. Maybe when this is all over he'll ask Will. When this is all over.
He looks at his brother, the members of Intelligence, waiting for someone, anyone to speak on his behalf. He is met with silence. He looks down so he can school his face and puts his hands on the desk and spreads his legs. The officer pats him down and cuffs him. With his stoic mask finally in place, he raises his head to look Voight in the eye. He doesn't even get that. Everyone has already turned away from him. He is a ghost to everyone he knows and loves.
He sits quietly in the back of the squad car on the way to Central booking. His mind is spinning out of control. He replays what just happened again and again and his heart seizes every time as he realizes the people he knows, the people who know him, believe what he is accused of. They didn't even tell him what he 'did,' like he should just know. Whatever it was, they didn't ask for an explanation or his side of the story. There was no support. It was Lonnie Rodiger all over again.
But Rodiger he could understand. He was stalking him after all, was harassing him. But Rodiger was a pedophile and the team or at least members of it, quickly came around and supported him. But this...this was different. If he didn't know better he would say they hated him.
He is distracted from his thoughts when they pull up to Central, where he's perp walked in. He ignores the stares but listens for any comments that might tell him what the fuck he might have done.
Nothing.
When they are done with the mug shots and fingerprinting, they take his clothes, shoes and all his belongings and commence with the humiliating body search. He's then given his "jailhouse scrubs' and slip on shoes. They handcuff him in front this time, with a chain going down to the cuffs on his ankles.
They put him in a corner and give him his phone call. Except he has no one to call and that again puts the squeeze on his heart. He finally decides to call Will. He schools his emotions and takes a few sniper breaths to calm himself down. As soon as Will answers, all of that is thrown out the window and his words come out in a rush.
"Will, I don't know what is going on, what was going on back there. I'm at Central Booking now. Do you know…"
"Jay. JAY! Stop." It is quiet on the other end of the line and then Jay starts again in a calm, controlled voice.
"Will, whatever this is, I'm not…"
"JAY! Stop." Again it is quiet.
"Will?"
"Jay. God, this is hard." He blows out a breath and trips all over what he had planned on saying when Jay called. "I ah can't talk to you right now. This is too much. Jay…I don't know what to tell you…I don't, I don't know what you should do…" Then it comes back to him why Jay has been arrested and all thought, all emotion leaves him. "I can't talk to you."
Jay sits there stunned as he listens to his brother stammer and finally hang up on him. The coldness with which Will spoke his last words, 'I can't talk to you,' is like a knife in the heart.
His dad is dead, his brother believes he's a criminal and his unit obviously believes the same. Any backup he ever had, anyone that could cover his six has no desire to do so. The thought crosses his mind, if Mouse was here, would he turn his back on him also? If everyone else did why wouldn't Mouse? He's stabbed in the heart again at that thought. He can't go there. He can't fondle that thought. He's this close to tipping over the edge and speculation of that will do it. He's not quite sure what would be 'over the edge' but he doesn't want to find out.
He gets the booking officer's attention and tells him he'll need a public defender.
He is then taken to a holding cell, reminding the officer as he shuffles along, chains jangling, that he's a cop and can't go into gen pop.
No response.
He's handed off to another officer as they make their way further into the jail. He also lets this officer know he's a cop.
Nothing.
Finally he arrives at the destination.
"Open 3."
There is a buzz and the click of a lock. They stand in front of an empty cell and he blows out a breath of relief. His ankle cuffs are removed and he is locked in the cell. He puts his arms out and the officer removes the cuffs and walks away.
His accommodations can be taken in with the blink of an eye. Toilet, bed, walls, floor, ceiling.
He avoids the bed and sits on the floor as far from the toilet as he can. He pulls his knees up and rests his arms on them, holding his head in his hands. He replays the day. The pain in his heart squeezes with an ever tightening grip until finally he he lets out a scream of frustration. He is beginning to feel panicked, like there is no way out of this and he doesn't even know what this is. He still doesn't know why he's been arrested.
Will he be one of the 10,000 wrongful convictions this year? He laughs. The average time for a wrongful conviction to be overturned is 8-10 years. You start to be institutionalized after 1 year. Who will he be in 8 years. Not Jay Halstead. That is if he is alive. Even though cops aren't put in general population, they still have a way of finding themselves dead or abused in the worst ways…STOP! JUST FUCKING STOP!
He takes a breath and focuses on the here and now. Don't get ahead of yourself. He thinks of Hailey then his thoughts go to Will. They just wrote him off, no questions asked. And that is what does him in. That is when his heart finally and totally breaks and that is when the tears finally start to fall.
THE NEXT DAY
When Will finally comes to his senses, he calls Hailey. She has to do something. He doesn't care about the evidence. He knows Jay wouldn't do something like this.
He sucks in a breath. "Hailey…"
"My hands are tied Will."
"Hailey please…"
"WILL!"
"Hailey I need to see him…God, Hailey, IS HE SAFE? Are they keeping him safe?"
That is when the tears start to fall.
In a choked voice, "Please, Hailey. Get me in to see him."
"I'll see what I can do…I'll call you either way."
"Hailey…please, make sure he's safe."
Later that day Hailey comes through. The guard escorts them to Jay's cell and leaves. They are dumbfounded as they take in Jay through the bars. His lunch tray and the 'food' that was on it, is scattered about the cell. His blanket has been shoved into the toilet. He lays on the bare mattress, one hand behind his head and just stares at them with empty eyes. They stare at him also… he's had the shit beat out of him. He has a black eye and a scrape on his cheek. His jaw is bruised and he has another cut at his hairline. He's got a bruise on his left bicep and a long scrape down his arm. Two of his fingers are splinted together. And where his shirt has slightly ridden up they can see bruising starting to form on his ribs.
Will and Hailey speak at the same time. One voice freaked out, the other with the coolness of a cop on the job.
"Jesus, Jay. What happened? Are you okay?"
"Did they put into gen pop?"
His answer is a slight raise of an eyebrow, then his tongue touches his split lip which causes him to wince.
Nothing.
Will looks at Hailey, panicked, then back to Jay.
"Jay, I'm sorry. I was freaked out. They have so much evidence. But even with all that I don't know why I would believe it's true. I should have believed there must be some other explanation."
Not sure if he is ready to forgive Will, Jay says nothing to him but speaks to Hailey in a voice lacking all emotion.
"They didn't put me in gen pop. They 'accidentally' put someone else in my cell…"
"Jay…"
In a calm but cold voice Jay asks, "…Would you like to tell me what crime I've been accused of? What crime have I committed that would turn everyone I love, everyone I care about, against me…everyone I thought loved and cared about me?"
"Jay…they haven't told me why you've been arrested?"
"Why does that surprise you? None of you told me."
To Hailey that feels like a slap in the face and well deserved.
"Jay, we were stunned…"
"Not as much as I was."
Slap.
"The evidence is overwhelming…"
"And that just wiped everything away, our friendship away?"
Slap.
"No questions asked? No heads up of what was coming down the pipe? No chance to fight? To defend myself?"
Slap.
He stands up then, slowly. One arm held tight against injured ribs. The other one sporting a large bandage on his forearm that wasn't visible when he was lying down. It's now that they notice the blood on his clothes.
Slap.
"Knowing that even if a cop is held in protective custody, they are not safe?"
SLAP.
"So, that said, would you like to tell me WHAT THE FUCK YOU BELIEVE I DID!"
Will looks like he is going to breakdown. Hailey does her best to school her face as she tells him. She fails miserably and all of her emotions play out. Anger is eventually what wins out. Although he is not sure if the anger is at him or the situation. He's not even sure Hailey knows.
"You've been accused of the rape and murder of a 16 year old girl."
All of the oxygen is sucked out of his cell, sucked out of his lungs. All thought leaves his brain and his heart stops beating. His hearing turns off and he goes blind. He has left his body.
Seconds? minutes? hours? later he comes back into himself. All of his senses come back with a vengeance and he falls to his hands and knees and throws up. When he is done he sits back on his heels, hands on his hips, head down, trying to catch his breath through the pain.
He puts his head up but his eyes are still closed. Breathe, just breathe.
He knows Will and Hailey are talking to him but can't make out what they're saying. Doesn't really care to know what they're saying. Rape and murder of a 16 year old girl.
Breathe.
Rape and murder of a 16 year old girl.
Breathe.
Rape and murder of a 16 year old girl.
I would never…how could they think…He finally looks at them. Tears fill his eyes and escape in a cascade down his face. With heartbreak written all over his face and a voice strangled with emotion he asks,
"And you think I could do, would do something like that?"
SLAP.