Chapter 6: Culling Voices

..

Disembodied voices deepen my

Suspicious tendencies

Conversations we've never had

Imagined interplay

Psychopathy

Don't you dare point that at me

..

Valerie's pen hovered over the dotted line as she starred blankly at the paper in front of her. She blinked and glanced at her watch, grimacing when she saw it read 11:32 am. Sighing, she dropped her pen and rubbed her eyes. She just needed to get over the midday hump, then she'd be fine, she was sure. She could at least fill out paperwork until 6 pm, then she could retire early.

"I'm going to get coffee," she announced as she stood.

Dan glanced up from his book. He passed an unimpressed eye over her. "You look dead on your feet, and that's coming from me," he said. "You should go to bed."

Valerie narrowed her eyes. "What was that?" She put a hand on her hip. "I 'should go to bed'? You actually said that and you didn't insert some innuendo in there?"

He looked offended. "Please, Valerie, I'm not all sexual innuendos and horrible destruction. I'm a multi dimensional character."

Valerie gave him a deadpan look. "Stay here," she said before rounding her desk and walking to the door.

She made it to the mess hall fine. It was just on her way back to her office that she hit a snag. As soon as she rounded the last corner, her office just at the end of the hall, she came face to face with Paulina.

"Oh, lord," she muttered under her breath.

Just as expected, as soon as Paulina saw Valerie, her eyes lit up.

"Guess what I just heard!" she said without even saying 'good morning'.

"What?" Valerie deadpanned, taking a sip from her to-go cup.

Paulina waved a flippant hand. "Well, you already know what I'm going to say. But honestly I was just joking yesterday when you showed up with the new boy. How long has this secret little affair been going on?" she said giving Valerie a lascivious look.

Valerie tried to think quickly, but going on 32 hours without sleep was not conducive to on-the-spot thinking.

"Uh, um, a year?" she said more like a question than a statement.

Paulina gave her a dismayed look. "You don't even know?" Her expression then changed to one of hurt and anger, both played up for theatrics. "And you didn't tell me?!"

Valerie blinked. "Which one should I address first?"

Paulina gave her an annoyed look and made a helpless gesture.

Valerie huffed. "Okay, listen we...don't really keep track of stuff like that." She avoided Paulina's eyes and took a sip of her coffee to hide her face.

Paulina tutted, and put a hand on her hip. "Then how are you going to keep track of your kids' ages?"

Valerie nearly choked. As burning hot liquid entered her lungs, she could see it then. Her grave stone would read: Valerie Denice Gray, beloved protector of Amity Park, Colonel of the Militia, and the fierce Red Huntress, killed in action by inhaling a lungful of scalding hot coffee.

Paulina patted her on the back, looking both worried for Valerie's life and amused by the situation.

Finally, when she was able to somewhat breath again, she choked out, "Paulina, what the fuck?" She paused to let out another hacking cough. "I'm not having kids with him!"

She drew in another ragged breath and straightened. Paulina held out her cup, which Valerie hadn't even realized she'd taken from her. With a huff she took it back, and took another cautious sip.

Paulina chuckled, still patting Valerie lightly on the back. "I was just joking, chica. But now that I think about it, you two would make some really cute babies."

Valerie gave her a halfhearted glare. "I swear, Paulina, you test me every day."

The Latina grinned. "Well, that's what best friends are for, no?"

Valerie rolled her eyes. "If you say so."

"So why did you keep it a secret for so long?" Paulina asked.

Valerie groaned. "Can't you just let me go? You almost killed me."

A little of the humor leaked out of her. "No, really, Val. Come on. Just answer me that, and I'll let you get back to your boy toy."

Valerie wrinkled her nose. "I'm going back to my office to do paperwork and nothing else. And don't call him my 'boy toy' ever again, please and thank you."

Paulina tilted her head and placed her arms akimbo. "Well, you know what they say: 'all work and no play,' etc, etc."

She gave Paulina a deadpan look. "I like being dull. And to answer your question, it's for many reasons but mostly Phantom."

Paulina gave her a somewhat frustrated look. "Alright, that's valid, but could have told me at least."

"No, because I wanted to forgo this conversation for as long I could."

"But I tell you all about my relationships!" Paulina cried.

Valerie almost said, 'And I wish you wouldn't,' but she knew that would be too mean. Instead she said, "I'm just private, and I know how much you like to gossip."

Paulina frowned. "You know I wouldn't talk about it if you told me not to. That's just an excuse. You're too damn private, Valerie. You need to open up to people even if it's just me or your Dad. By the way, you haven't told your Dad either, have you?"

Valerie pursed her lips. "No," she answered tersely. "But I don't think I need life advice from someone who fucks away their problems."

The moment the words were past her lips she knew that she was too harsh. She started to say she was sorry, but Paulina chuckled and raised an eyebrow. "You're right, Chica, but at least I fuck. You should stop being so frigid and show Dean who's boss."

Valerie made a face. "How do you know he and I—"

"Oh, I can tell," she said giving Valerie a knowing look. "You're having a fight, aren't you?"

Valerie sighed. Thinking up a lie she said, "I didn't even want it to be out in the open this soon, because...Phantom could still come back."

Paulina hummed in thought and passed a shrewd eye over Valerie. "I think you're just afraid people'll find out you have emotions."

"This is not about my reputation."

"Oh, lighten up, chica," Paulina said, putting a hand on Valerie's shoulder. "It's normal to have emotions. Everyone gets them from time to time. It's not like the end of the world."

"Yeah, alright," Valerie grumbled. "I really need to get back to work."

"Fine, I'll let you go," Paulina said, starting to turn away.

Valerie did the same, but paused when Paulina called out, "Oh, wait, one more thing!"

Valerie half turned to her, raising an eyebrow.

"Me and Stacy are gonna go to the club tomorrow night, so clear your schedule."

Valerie frowned. "I have patrol tomorrow night. I can't."

Paulina gave her a genuine look of concern. "Val, you just got done with two graveyard shifts in a row. You need to take a break."

"And getting waisted is any better?" Valerie shot back.

Paulina pouted. "At least it's more fun."

"Fun won't protect the town."

"Valerie, come on. I'm legit worried about your health at this point," Paulina whined.

Valerie drew in a deep breath. "I'll think about it." She probably wouldn't, but she needed to get Paulina off her back, at least for now.

Paulina still looked skeptical, but she said, "Okay, see ya," and started to walk away.

Valerie let out a breath and went on her way, as well. She got to her office, swiped her keycard, and went in. She almost jumped out of her skin when she saw Dan sitting in the chair by the door. She had forgotten he was there.

He gave her knowing smile. "So I heard you two talking about me," he said without preamble.

Valerie's face started to heat up all over again. "We were all the way at the other end of the hall. It's not like we were being loud or anything."

He shrugged. "I just have really good hearing. Comes in handy sometimes."

Valerie went back to her desk and sat down. "Do all ghosts have hearing like that?"

He looked back down to his book as if the line of conversation wasn't worth his time of day. He shrugged and gave a noncommittal hum.

Valerie drew in a deep breath. "Alright, what did you hear?"

"Pretty much all of it."

Valerie closed her eyes. "Oh god," she muttered under her breath.

"By the way, why a year?"

She blinked. "What?"

"That you and 'Dean' have been together."

She shook her head. "Oh, right. I just thought up a number and said it."

"Ah, I just wanted to know if you had some story behind it. Wanted to get our stories straight."

"Also," he said, not missing a beat, "I heard that you got invited to go to a club with your 'friends'. That made me laugh a little bit. Do anything besides this—" he waved a hand at the paperwork on her desk "—and picking fights with me?"

"I have a life outside of work."

"Oh, really? When was the last time you've done anything fun—unless you consider fighting me fun, in which case I think you have a couple other problems."

Valerie scoffed. "You're one to talk. You go out and attack towns along the border of the wastes just to get me out to fight you, like you derive some sort of sick pleasure out of getting your ass shot at."

He raised an eyebrow. "Is that deflection I sense?"

Valerie sighed and rolled her eyes. "I don't know when I went out with friends last, okay? Maybe a couple months ago. Is that what you want to hear, you sicko? You wanna know my life is just as terrible as yours?"

"Valerie, please," he said holding a hand to his chest. "I'm merely concerned for a friend." She scoffed at that. "And it sounds like you've been working yourself even harder lately. You've been working yourself into the ground for—what, a month since everything went down?

"It's only been two and a half weeks, and no I've not been working myself into the ground."

Dan gave her a skeptical look.

She pressed her lips into a thin line. "I've just been working harder. Since you came and almost destroyed the town for good, I realized we've all been slacking off." That and she had to be absolutely exhausted before she could get to sleep and stay asleep nowadays.

Dan chuckled darkly. "'Slacking off'? Oh, please. There was never anything you could have done to stop me. I'm inevitable. And you working yourself to death only brings me closer to what I was always meant to do."

Valerie paused and lowered her gaze to the papers on the desk, pretending to read them. She, of course, had already thought of what would happen if she died. With the things that the Master Of Time showed her happening in the near future, her chances of mortality increased exponentially, but it wouldn't make sense for Clockwork to hand Dan over to her if she was about to meet an untimely death.

She realized with a start that she was putting a lot of faith into a ghost. But she wasn't an impulsive little girl anymore. She could logic things out, and logically she should be able to trust Clockwork. It didn't make sense for him to go to so much trouble to just have Dan be set loose on the world again. And she didn't have much of a choice anyway.

However, there was definitely something he wasn't telling her...

Finally, she looked up at him with a scowl. "That's not what's going to happen, and even if it was, I'd kill you before then."

He gave her an almost sad looking smile. "If you could kill me, you would have already done it—and I don't mean that to say you are physically unable to. You and I are in the same boat, Valerie. We're both too sentimental."

Valerie was the first to break eye contact. She looked back down at her signature, now with an unseemly ink blot right in the middle of it.

"I'm just using you. That's all this is," she muttered.

"Let's face it, you're not a queen, you're a pawn."

She finished her signature and move on to the next document. "But a pawn can become a queen."

He went quiet. Valerie skimmed over the document, seconds passed. Finally she looked back up to him. He wore a begrudging smirk.

"Touché."

...

For the rest of the day, they switched between light conversation, heated arguments, and then long stretches of silence, usually in that order but not exclusively.

Finally, Valerie looked at her watch again, and this time it read 6:06. She sighed and wished it didn't.

She had told herself to work to six earlier, dozing off at the time, but now that six had rolled around, she was wide awake. She should try to sleep though, she really should. She knew she was a train wreck.

Valerie stood with a sigh and stretched. Maybe if she took another hour to work out, it would tire her out enough. It could also make it even harder for her to sleep, but it was worth a try.

"Going somewhere?" Dan asked, not looking up from the book he was reading, another one off her dad's bookshelf, having finished the first one he picked up.

"To the gym then I'm gonna turn in early."

"Pretty early to turn in. Even to turn in early," he said, looking up this time, and smirked. "You're starting to turn into an old lady."

"It's not that early. Unless they're on a night shift, recruits around here go to sleep at about eight because most have to wake up before dawn."

Dan rolled his eyes. "If you say so."

Valerie rounded her desk and was halfway to the door when Dan set aside his book and stood up. She paused and eyed him warily.

"What are you doing?"

He shrugged, feigning ignorance. "What do you mean?"

Valerie narrowed her eyes.

He said, "Are you just going to order me to stay here again? Or send me to my room without any dinner?"

"You don't need to eat."

He gave her a patronizing look and tilted his head playfully. "But we have to keep up appearances, Valerie Dear."

She huffed. "You know this shadowing me everywhere thing is already getting old."

He gave her an irritated look. "You think I want to follow you around like a dog? At least give me something to do. Then we won't have this problem. You brought me here. You said you'd make me 'pay off my debt', so do it!"

"I'm trying," she nearly yelled, "to think of something you won't majorly fuck up if I set you to it!"

"Put me in research and development," he said.

"What?"

"Put me in R&D, let me fix your ghost sensors and whatever systems have problems. I'm sure there are many. Maybe we can even get to work at putting up the shields again." He said the last bit as if the thought amused him.

She narrowed her eyes. "Let me get this straight, you want me to put you where you'd be in direct contact with some of our most crucial information and most important instruments to keep the town safe. No fucking way."

"I could have them operational within a couple weeks. I already have an idea of what went wrong, and I bet your staff still doesn't have a clue."

"I don't care. My answer is still no."

"Your worry is misplaced. You have near complete control over me. You could literally order me not to 'majorly fuck up' anything, and I would have to obey," he spat. "Hell, I bet you could order me to forget anything I saw, and I would instantly forget it."

Valerie's mouth set in a grim line. She felt sick at the thought of controlling him like that. Could she order him to forget his entire past? Could she tell him how to feel, how to think? A shiver of disgust ran down her spine. She wished she could have refused Clockwork's offer. She didn't want that kind of power over anyone.

"I would never do something like that," she said weakly.

"Why?" He snapped. "Isn't this what you want? To make me your puppet to jerk around and then cut the strings when you're done with me?"

Valerie felt anger flare in her chest. "Don't act like you're the victim. You deserve this."

His jaw set and he took a threatening step towards her. "And what about what you deserve?"

She closed the gap between them and squared her shoulders. She had questioned herself, and she would question herself in the future, too. But right in that moment she understood her place in the world and in their history.

"For years you controlled my waking life and my dreams because every time you got bored, you would go burn a town to get me, your favorite toy, to come play with you, and when I eventually got to sleep, you'd haunt my nightmares. You killed my friends and nearly did the same to my dad. You trapped us under a dome, cut us off from the rest of the world. You controlled my life for the past ten years, and you still control my life, you bastard!"

He crossed his arms and gave her a cruel smirk. "Then I guess we're just two peas in a miserable pod—causing each other's pain."

"I didn't kill your family and friends," she hissed, her hands tightening into fists at her sides.

The smirk dropped from his face, his lips thinning. "But you could have helped."

She could have said she was sorry, because she really was. Or she could have pointed out that everything he's done was ten times worse than anything she could ever do. But instead she simply said, "I hate you."

He let out a mirthless chuckle. "Same here, sweetheart."

She had to leave now. She couldn't stand to be around him a second longer. Valerie pushed past him, but he caught her arm in a loose grip, and said, "Wait."

She pulled out of his hold and drew an ectogun at her hip in one motion. Dan raised an eyebrow and gave the gun an unimpressed glance. Valerie took out the keycard to Dan's room, stepped forward, and slapped it against his chest, making him scramble to catch it as she stepped back from him again just as quickly.

"Go back to your room, and don't kill anyone while you're out of my sight."

He looked at her with a cold expression, and the room began to drop in temperature to match. The sensor in Valerie's watch would have begun to beep like crazy if she hadn't already keyed out Phantom's signature.

"As you wish," he said and blinked out of the visible spectrum.

Valerie tensed, but refused to panic or even look around. She simply ignored the crawling sensation at the back of her neck and holstered her gun then put away her dad's book that Dan left out. She didn't quite relax until the cold in the room had dissipated.