Hey guys its Jen! Welcome to my new fic! This story follows Clary and Jace (alongside their friends) through high school – though you probably got that from the summary. I haven't been active on this site in pretty much two years, I've had a lot going on! I've only recently started university, which has been absolutely crazy, given I joined this site when I was 13! A lot has changed…

A quick notes on updates – somehow, I managed to get into the most competitive university in my country and they lay a lot of work on us. I can't guarantee when updates come out. I hope they'll be regular, but only time will tell. Also, this is my first time writing for TMI fandom so I really hope you guys like it…please let me know how I'm doing! I haven't written in two years, so I'm very rusty… please be forgiving! But that's enough on that… enjoy!

CLARY

"Okay, okay… Magnus, would you rather bone Chris Hemsworth or Liam Hemsworth?"

The party was in full swing. I wasn't even sure whose party it was – and I'm not certain Magnus did either. All I got from him as he dragged me out of the apartment was some mumbled words about 'attractive' and 'football team'. I didn't really want to ask much more.

"Are you kidding?" Magnus laughed. "Obviously Thor." Izzy nodded appreciatively.

"You're choosing Thor over Gale?" I accused. "So not cool, Mag. Come on Simon, back me up!"

Simon just laughed.

"Sorry, Clare. I'm with Magnus on this one."

We were sat in a circle in what I assumed was the living room of whoever's house this was. I was working on my apple juice – that's my party trick, it looks like beer, so people don't tease you for not drinking alcohol – and Izzy was working on slowly sidling up to Simon. Not very slyly, might I add. She was completely in love with him. She had been for years. And as always, he was completely clueless.

"That's bullshit, Simon! I thought we were friends…" I pouted. Simon's cheeks went pink. He ran a hand through his hair.

"Yeah… best friends."

I punched his arm lightly.

"I'm not actually mad at you, silly. Your opinion is just wrong!" I smiled at him. He smiled back.

I'd been noticing Simon acting strangely a lot recently. I could never figure out why until I realised that every time I noticed him acting strange we were with Izzy! I was almost certain he had a crush on her. I just needed to give him a little push. Simon wasn't the most outgoing of people… not that I minded. It was perfect in fact, our little quartet. Simon and I liked to keep to ourselves, Izzy liked to party and flirt – a lot – and Magnus was the craziest of all of us. It just made me love him even more.

"Alright Clary, your turn!" Izzy beamed. I groaned slightly. "Would you rather… kiss Raphael or kiss Mr Starkweather?"

"Ew, Izzy that's gross!" Simon's face was bright red now. Probably all this talk of kissing…

But I never got the chance to answer. Just as I was about to speak up, someone cleared their throat.

"Sorry, Peaches, as much as I am dying to hear the answer to that question, you're blocking the way to the bathroom."

I recognised that drawl. Jace Fucking Herondale.

I glared.

"Don't call me Peaches," I huffed, shuffling slightly so he could get past.

He was so annoying. That stupid leather jacket and that stupid motorbike and those stupid curls and those stupid eyes… It was no secret Jace Herondale and I didn't get along. Hating him was as easy as breathing. He was just so cocky, so arrogant. He was practically begging for me to call him an ass.

"Watcha gonna do about it, huh Peaches?" He smiled. As he stepped by where I was sat, his leg brushed against my back. I tensed.

"Leave her alone, Jace," Izzy turned to me and smiled. "Sorry for my brother. As you know, he can be a bit of an…"

"Ass," We finished together. I giggled. Relaxing once more, I focussed on my friends. Forget Jace – I was having a good night with my friends. Stretching my legs, I stood up.

"I'm gonna get some more juice, anyone want anything?"

"I'll come." Izzy stood up and joined me. We walked through to the modest kitchen. I'm sure that normally the kitchen would have been clean and lovely, but for now it was covered in beer cans and red cups. Two people I didn't know where making out against the sink. I grimaced.

Izzy turned to me as soon as we were out of earshot from Simon and Magnus.

"You've got to talk to Simon for me," She begged. "You're his best friend! He'll listen to you!"

I groaned. Izzy had been pestering me to talk to Simon for the past while. I never gave in – I was adamant that I wasn't going to meddle in my friends' lives. Especially Simon.

Izzy was perfect. There wasn't a day that went by where I didn't envy her gorgeous looks, her curves, and her sharp intelligence. I don't think there was anyone in our school – boy or girl – who hadn't noticed. Apart from Simon, apparently.

"Izzy… you know I don't –" She cut me off, sticking her hands on her hips.

"You owe me. I got my brother off your back just there."

Another groan.

"Really, Iz?" I poured myself some more juice and looked up at her. Her shining black hair had been gathered into a sleek ponytail and her love heart lips were painted blood red. She could get any boy she wanted. I sighed. "Fine."

"You're the best, Clary!" She squealed, hugging me. Some of my juice spilled out my cup and onto my top. Of course the one time I actually make an effort to look nice for a party I spill something on myself! Thankfully, the pretty black top showed no stains – though I could certainly feel it getting sticky.

"I'll talk to him," I said, praying she would back off. Of course I wanted Simon and Izzy to get together – they'd make the cutest couple. I just wanted it to happen on their own terms.

Guess it's now or never, Clary.

I walked back to where Simon and Magnus were chatting, and tapped Simon on his shoulder. I tiled my head towards what I assumed was a bedroom. Come with me.

Simon and I always knew what the other was thinking. It was like we were joined mentally – he could always tell when I was hurting. He snapped me out of thinking about Valentine whenever I went too deep into my thoughts about him. Or Jon. Or Mom. He always had the best remedy to sadness too – a couple of really bad romance movies and some Reece's Pieces. He knew me perfectly. I was so lucky to have him as my best friend.

Simon caught on, and stood up and followed me. I linked my arm around his like I always did. Simon, Magnus and Izzy were the closest thing I had to family.

We got into the bedroom and I sat on the bed, beckoning for him to join me. I could tell by the expression on his face that he had guesses about what was about to happen. Maybe he knew what I was going to talk to him about. Maybe he knew I knew he had a crush on Izzy. He was so cute.

It was a spacious room. A double bed with pretty pink sheets stood against the wall in the middle of the room, a vanity covered in all sorts of beauty products directly opposite it. The walls were plastered with posters of different bands and celebrities. It reminded me a little of Izzy's room. I smiled. So many good memories had been made in a room just like this one.

I grabbed his hands, ignoring the way his cheeks coloured.

"Simon," I began, already feeling incredibly awkward. "I don't know if you're thinking about… dating." I felt like a parent about to give their child 'The Talk'. I really didn't want to mess this up for Izzy and Simon. I knew they'd be so happy together if they were given the chance.

"Uh…" Simon started, but I cut him off.

"Look, Si, there's a certain girl at this party who I know likes you… a lot." I bit my lip. My face was getting redder and redder. Simon's face was completely flushed – but he no longer looked confused. Instead he looked weirdly determined. It wasn't an expression I saw a lot on Simon's face.

"I know." He said. His voice wavered slightly. "And… and I want her to know I feel the same way."

Success!

I grinned widely, knowing I'd have to tell Izzy as soon as I could. Or maybe Simon could tell Izzy? That would be something.

"That's great! She'll be so happy to –"

I was cut off by his very eager lips on mine.

What the hell.

His lips were warm, soft. It could have been a nice kiss, a very nice kiss, if it weren't for the fact that this was Simon. My best friend.

I jumped back. Simon looked ecstatic.

"Clary, I'm so happy! I never knew how to tell you - "

"Simon…" I gaped at him. This was the worst possible way this could have gone. My head swam. What just happened? Did Simon really just kiss me?

I couldn't think straight. I thought he liked Izzy? Had I been leading him on all this time?

"Simon…" I started, almost whispering. "I wasn't talking about me, Simon."

For a moment, he didn't understand. I saw the confusion in his eyes, searching for the truth in mine. Then his face fell. I watched his heart break and god did it make mine break too. He had been so delighted – and I crushed him. What had I done? He was going to be so upset with me, so would Izzy when she learned we had kissed.

His face turned cold.

"Oh." He said quietly. "I see."

My Simon, my best friend who was always laughing with me, who always knew how to make the darkest day brighter. Horror was slowly dawning on me. I had hurt him – my Simon – my best friend.

I didn't want this to happen. I never intended for this to happen! I didn't know that Simon wanted me and not Izzy. I couldn't think straight – I needed to explain to him what was going on, I needed to tell him I still loved him, just not the way he wanted.

"You don't want me." Simon stared at the ground. Simon's face was still bright red – but I knew it meant something different this time. Simon's voice wasn't cutting as I expected it to be, it was quiet. Soft.

"No, Si, that's ridiculous! You know I love you!" I begged. I couldn't stand to make him upset. He was my family.

His eyes met mine and I could see the hurt there. It broke me.

"But not in the way that I want you to, right?"

I shook my head.

"Si, I'm so, so sorry." My lip was starting to bleed from where I was gnawing at it. He was still sitting next to me on the bed, but it didn't feel the same. It didn't feel like normal Clary and Simon – it felt different. He was pulling away from me.

"It's fine, Clary." Clary, not Clare. His voice wavered. His hands were in fists. I couldn't bring myself to look at his face. No it's not fine, Simon. "I'm just – I'm going to go."

I couldn't believe I had hurt Simon. Simon and I never fought – we were the perfect friends. Always exactly in tune. How could I have known? I was so stupid. I thought I always knew what Simon was thinking – but clearly I was wrong.

It's not like there was any indication of liking me – he never said anything, he never - oh.

The romance movies and chocolate. The constant blushing. Oh. Oh.

He stood up. I could feel tears building up in my eyes. I looked down at the ground. I didn't want to let him see them fall.

But when I looked back up, he was gone.

Suddenly, I was filled with anger.

"Argh!" I shouted, tears in my eyes, stamping my foot onto the ground. How had I screwed this up so badly?

He was my best friend all my life. Had he been in love with me the entire time? Was our entire friendship a lie? Was he only my friend because he wanted to date me? I felt disgusting. Not only had I hurt my best friend, but I didn't actually know whether he had been my best friend at all. Sure, I may have been 'friend-zoning' Simon, but had he been 'girlfriend-zoning' me this whole time? Was he only interested in me romantically?

This was really fucked.

I was really fucked.

I kicked the bed frame. It creaked in annoyance.

Finally, the tears were too much to hold back and I fell to my knees in front of the bed, my face in my hands. Only minutes ago everything had still been perfect. Magnus, Izzy, Simon and I all laughing, playing 'Would You Rather'. This party was supposed to be fun. How had it all gone so wrong?

Izzy would be wondering by now what had happened. Had she seen Simon leave? Had he said something to her? The thought made everything so much worse. And then – the creak of the door.

"Biscuit? Everything alright?" Magnus' velvet voice did little to make me feel better. In fact, it made me feel worse. So much worse.

"Go away, Magnus!" I cried. I didn't want him to see me like this.

Magnus knew everything, just as much as Simon and Izzy did. Magnus knew all my deepest secrets, he knew all about my family. Hell, we lived together – he'd seen me at my best and at my worst. He'd seen me in my underwear. But somehow this, what had happened between Simon and me, was too personal. Too close to my heart to share.

I had ruined everything. Simon had ruined everything.

I didn't ask for this! All I wanted was an uncomplicated friendship. I thought that was what we had. Apparently I was wrong about that. What else was I wrong about?

"Cupcake, I don't want to leave you when you're like this…" Magnus whispered. He was still standing by the door. He knew well enough that sometimes I needed to be left alone.

I knew he was worried. I knew I shouldn't push him away – I'd only have one more friendship to worry about. He cared too much about me and Simon. I couldn't put this on him. I couldn't make him choose between us.

Was that what was going to happen? Would Simon and I stop being friends? The thought was unbearable.

The door creaked slightly and Magnus was gone.

I knew better than to assume he'd leave entirely. He would stay nearby for when I was able to talk. If I was able to talk. I didn't know if I would ever feel like talking again.

I dragged myself off my knees and sad with my back against the bed, hugging my legs. Surely it would be okay. Simon and I had never fought – we could overcome this, right? A small part of me hoped. But the bigger part of me knew that wasn't going to happen. Simon had been too embarrassed by my rejection to just go back to regular old Simon and Clary.

I sniffed, rubbing my eyes slightly. My hand came away covered in mascara. I must look an absolute mess. The tears were slowing now though, being replaced by more sinister, cold, numbness. Of all the people to hurt, of all the people to hurt me, Simon shouldn't have been the one. Things had been going so well, I hadn't cried this much since…

I wasn't going there. Thinking about my old life would only make me start crying again, and I had been doing that less and less lately. Moving out of the old house and into Magnus' apartment was the best choice I had ever made. It allowed me to heal. I think maybe moving out of the toxic environment that I used to call home was the best decision I made for my mental health.

I leaned my head onto my knees, my red hair falling in a curtain around me. Could I fix this?

…

I stayed in that position for another hour. It was now past eleven, and normally at this point I would start yawning and Magnus or Simon would take me home. I knew for certain I wouldn't be getting a ride with Simon tonight. I was just starting to stretch my legs and start moving when the door flew open.

Two figures stumbled into the room, accompanied by an obscene amount of giggling. The two of them were entwined everywhere possible – they were joined at the mouth, her arms pulled tightly around his waist and I could see her leg moving to wrap around him too. Oh god. I had no idea who either of them were and wasn't planning on finding out. That being said, the leather jacket that the guy was wearing was starting to look familiar…

Then I saw the curls.

Fuck.

Jace Herondale had been planning on getting laid in this room and I was about to get in the way of that.

I stood up on shaky legs, hoping to make a quick escape before they noticed I was here. Given the direction they seemed to be going in, I didn't really think that they'd notice a bomb going off in the next room, they were so preoccupied with… that. My cheeks heated.

Jace turned his head. Our eyes met. Fuck.

"I'm sorry, I was just-" Shut up Clary. "I'll go."

The girl turned to me and sneered. I knew exactly what I looked like. My red hair was matted, my eyes were puffy and my skin was blotchy. I had mascara and tear tracks all down my cheeks. I was hugging myself in an attempt to stop the shaking.

Jace hadn't stopped staring at me. I would have assumed by now that he would have made some snide comment, but he hadn't. He just kept starting.

I made to move, to run, to go anywhere but here. I really couldn't deal with Jace right now. There was no way I could muster up enough energy to get him to leave me alone. I knew that if anyone spoke to me right now, I would just break down again.

But just as I was starting to leave, Jace growled.

"Kaelie, leave."

Before she could even respond, he had shoved her back through the door and slammed it shut. He looked at me again. Really looked at me.

My lip wobbled.

I'm not going to cry I'm not going to cry I'm not going to cry.

My eyes welled up with tears.

"Peaches…" He whispered. I couldn't discern his facial expression. I'd only ever seen arrogant, smirking Jace. How was I supposed to know that he actually had emotions under there? His forehead was wrinkled with…concern?

"Go away," I mumbled, sitting back down on the ground. I couldn't handle this. I was so tired.

I felt him sit down next to me. I couldn't bring myself to tell him to leave. I felt tiny sitting next to him.

Why wasn't he being mean to be? Of all the chances he had to pick on me, this was the best one. I was literally sitting on some random bedroom floor having just cried my eyes out – and now crying again – and he chooses now to be nice to me. If that's what he was being – I couldn't quite tell. I had no idea what the hell was going on. He hated me. I hated him – even though right now I was too numb to feel anything at all. I couldn't muster up enough energy to hate him right now. Especially when he wasn't doing anything to make me hate him at this point in time.

I took a deep breath. Jace smelled like leather and apple shampoo. It was… nice.

"Jace?" I whispered, looking up at him.

He was breath taking. In the soft bedroom light, his hair looked like melting honey. His lips were parted slightly, his eyes were closed. His skin was the kind of gold colour that the sunset casts over the beach. He looked relaxed.

Then I noted the bags under his eyes, the way the worry lines on his forehead hadn't disappeared. I wasn't sure why I cared.

I didn't know what this was. He certainly wasn't comforting me. I wasn't sure that even he knew what he was doing right now – he sure as hell wasn't acting like it. But he wasn't being mean. For Jace, that was a pretty big deal.

"Why are you being nice to me?" I asked quietly, my eyes searching his face for any kind of indicator that he had heard me. If he had, he didn't say anything. Instead, he shifted and suddenly his arm was over my shoulders. I tensed. What the hell?

This was wrong. This was Jace Herondale. He didn't just comfort people when they were crying. Especially me.

But I was too exhausted to care. I'd gone through too much in the last two hours to care. His arm was warm against my shivering body. He was warm. Tentatively, I rested my head on his shoulder.

This was so fucking weird.

Where had the arrogant smirk gone? The cocky walk? The boy who flirted with every single girl – the boy who had been about to get laid in this very room? This was a side of Jace I had never seen before. Why didn't he show it more often? Maybe people wouldn't hate him so much if he wasn't such a dick all the time.

The bedroom was silent other than the sounds of our breathing and I decided I didn't care. Right now, he was calming me down. That was all that mattered.

I was starting to relax, my breathing starting to slow. Just as my eyes were starting to droop I heard him whisper.

"I don't like seeing you cry."