AN: Heyo! A little chat before we get down to business. This fanfic is inspired by two things. The first being is a chapter from Motto Love Love Sakusen Desu, Chapter 38: It's tracking Darjeeling-sama to be exact. I know the canonicity of the manga as a whole is hotly debated but I find it funny nonetheless. The next one is a short Girls und Panzer fanbook from Danbooru, Greener Grasses, which features an AssHip love story too. This story isn't necessarily a recreation of any of the two but uses them as a benchmark to set the AssHip ship into the sunset. Well, that's enough rambling from me and see ya at the end of this chapter.

Prologue

Alumni Homecoming

Yokohama, Japan

"Good morning, this is your captain speaking, we have just landed at Haneda Airport in the city of Yokohama. Today is the 20th of April on our current year and local time is 9:30 am in the morning, Japanese Standard Time. Temperatures outside is a mild 28°C with clear skies and a low chance of rain in the evening. You may begin to leave the plane once the flight crew says so and again thank you for flying British Airways and we hope you enjoy your trip." the plane's intercom system announced.

A blonde girl in an aisle seat stood up at the announcement and took her luggage and umbrella from the overhead compartment. It had been a boring 13 hour non-stop flight from London, with no one to accompany her except old Chaucer and his masterpiece.

Walking down the exit stairs, she was delighted to finally set foot on land again and made her way to the terminal. However, she was caught off guard when a girl suddenly came to her side and whispered in her ear.

"Success is not final, failure is not fatal-" the girl simply said.

"-it is the courage to continue that counts." she continued. "Winston Churchill, right?" she looked sceptically at the girl.

The new arrival nodded and said, "Ma'am, I request that you follow me and may I help you with your bag?"

"Thanks, but no thanks," she replied, gingerly following the girl, jet lag making her head spin like a top. The girl in front of her briskly turned a corner, and the next thing she knew was she was screaming in glee.

She was expecting one of the school cars to fetch her, at the very least, or one of the Westland Lysander liaison aircraft if they still have those. But there's no way she would have thought that they'll send in a full-fledged tank.

And not just any tank, it was her tank, her steed, her mount, her black beauty. Its olive green paint job looked brand new and its 75mm gun looked as deadly as ever, protruding from the flat riveted mantlet of the turret

"Wha-ho-how is this possible?" she exclaimed. "I thought the alumni association sold all of them off after I left!" She scrutinised the entire length of the tank, taking it all it, lest it was just a dream and she would wake up back in the plane.

"They did, all except this one Ma'am." her guide smiled, watching the personality of the girl she's chauffeuring for do a 360.

The blonde climbed the tank quickly, with efficiency only a veteran can possess. "I assume you're my driver today?" she asked, opening the commander's hatch. "Sorry, I didn't happen to catch your name." She hopped down the hatch.

"That's because I didn't throw it. It's Ruhuna ma'am," she replied as she climbed and entered her own hatch. "Where to madam?"

She raised her eyebrows. Darjeeling's personal driver eh? "Head straight to the carrier, if that isn't too much." the tank's Meteor engines purred to life and she inhaled the smell of motor oil and grease, two scents that will forever put her at ease.

The tank slowly inched forward, unable to fully spread its wings, for fear of cracking up the asphalt it drove on. People going on their daily lives couldn't help but look at the rare sight of a tank driving on the streets. Even motorists had to double-take on their rearview mirror just to make sure that that there was indeed an armoured fighting vehicle behind them.

The Japanese spring wind blew at her face, driving off the last verges of the exhaustion still inside her. Her long blonde hair flew elegantly as the tank begun to pick up speed. She momentarily closed her eyes and opened it after hearing some familiar additions to the symphony of engines around her.

Trailing them, were four BSA M20 motorcycles which sped up to take positions on each side of the tank, serving as convoy escorts. The BSA M20 was one of the longest-serving motorcycles in the British army, being used for anything from liaison to dispatch work.

At this, her eyebrows raised again. Darjeeling, being her flamboyant self, spared no expense on her homecoming.

Looking to examine the inner workings of the vehicle, she closed the hatch and inspected the various aspects of the tank, from its periscopes to the exhaust vent, for the toxic fumes made by firing the gun.

She was surprised to find that the ammo stowage she was sitting on was filled to the brim with a mix of AP and HE, although the latter wasn't used much in combat, at least in her command. She was pretty sure those who worked hard to include the HE capability in this tank's gun would be disappointed with her.

A sudden loud noise outside made her the hatch, she was then subsequently blinded and deafened by what she saw and heard.

Dozens of people were lining the streets on the way to the port, cheering as they saw their idol, some held banners welcoming her, the flash of photographers blinked every second, snapping figments of her that will be forever frozen in time.

Students both old and new were among the crowd, waited patiently for their schoolmate and now their patience was rewarded as they saw the convoy passed through, its commander waved at the crowd as it went by. Union Jacks flew alongside the school's colours as the motorcade went by.

The tank commander was still jovially waving to the crowds, as the tank made its way to the ship's gangway, where its speed and manoeuvrability made them ascend fast and easy, not needing the ship's built-in tow hooks for their team's heavy tanks.

After traversing the carrier's streets, even almost had a near-collision with a speeding Crusader, the tank finally reached their destination and she quickly hopped out of the tank, still carrying her luggage and her trusty umbrella. She looked down at her clothes, a bespoke black suit and pants, which surprisingly fitted her even after years of indulgence in England. She checked if there are any wrinkles on her suit, straighten her hair to remove any trace of her long journey and glanced at the Victorian building in front of her.

She looked behind one last time, as her Cromwell tank is being driven back to the garage. She finally turned her head back to the building. After years of not seeing it, she smiled to herself. The Tea Garden was still as she remembered it, elegant as ever, looking over rows and rows of neatly trimmed bushes and its large arched windows gave a nice view of the ocean.

She started walking towards the entrance, her high black boots clicked against the cobblestone path. She was trying her best not to run, take it slowly, she said to herself. After all, after many years, she, Earl Grey, has finally returned home.

AN: That's the end of the chapter, hope y'all like this and if you do, don't be shy to follow this story. Criticism is welcomed and is a sought after resource. Well till next time.