The house was dark as Michonne made her way inside with the moonlight being her only guide as she quietly shut the door behind herself and slightly stumbled to the staircase. Maybe she had too much wine tonight but it felt good to let go, even if she was going to have a small headache in the morning.

"Hey," his low rasp stopped her in her tracks as she placed her hand on the rail, steadying herself. "You're gettin' in pretty late...again."

Michonne swung her head around so fast she was surprised she didn't catch whiplash as she stared at the man she had been trying to avoid for the last few weeks.

Rick stood from their couch and made his way over to her, stopping inches away from her face. He had a tendency to ignore personal space once he was riled up and tonight wasn't an exception as his hot breath bounced off of her forehead. She slowly dragged her eyes from his chest up to his lips finally settling on the blue orbs that stared intensely back at her, waiting for her to speak.

"I'm surprised you noticed."

His head tilted to the side in his signature fashion as his eyes narrowed at the woman in front of him. He couldn't believe she would have the audacity to even say that to him. He noticed everything about her, especially the fact that she had been purposely avoiding him. But once Judith cried for her tonight, he knew it was time for him to say something.

"Excuse me?"

"I'm not in the mood for this tonight, Rick." The way his name flew off of her heart shaped lips made him wince. She almost sounded disgusted.

"Too bad." He replied not breaking their stare.

Michonne let out a loud sigh and threw her arms in the air. After all of the time they spent together, she kept her shit together but not today. She was always strong while he was allowed to cry, throw temper tantrums, and even lose his sanity while she had to be the complete opposite, at least to the outside world.

The same could be said for her before the world fell apart. She was a successful, Black woman in Atlanta. Even though the city was the Black Mecca, she couldn't allow herself a moment of weakness. She couldn't afford the luxury to be weak or angry without a stereotype being slapped on her back. And she was tired. She wanted to be able to feel things openly. She wanted to cry because she thought their son was about to lose his life two months ago. But she had to hold it together while he went outside to face his potential death.

She would never forget the way Denise snapped at her like Carl wasn't a big part of her life, like he wasn't her son, her best friend. But she took it all in stride and did what needed to be done to save Carl when all she wanted to do was cry and breakdown because it felt like her son, Andre being taken away from her once again and she knew she wouldn't have been able to pull through this time.

"Can we talk about this in the morning?" Her voice was barely above a whisper.

"Are you drunk?" Rick asked, stepping even closer to Michonne. "What's goin' on with you? Talk to me."

"Oh now you want to talk?" A low chuckle left her lips as she finally broke the eye contact they shared. "Rick, leave me alone. We can talk about this tomorrow. I'm not in the mood."

"Judith cried for you tonight." He went straight for the jugular. "You haven't been here to put her to bed for the past three nights. I know you're pissed at me for some unknown reason but there's no reason for you to punish the kids."

"I'm not punishing the kids."

"Could have fooled me." He scoffed and bent his head, trying to catch her eyes but she had averted her gaze once again.

"Want to talk about someone being a fool?" Another humorless chuckle left Michonne's lips as she finally gave Rick the eye contact he craved. "I am a fool."

"W-What are you talkin' bout?"

Michonne closed her eyes and breathed in slowly, exhaling even slower. She was trying her best to get her thoughts to calm down but they were growing louder. He was really standing in front of her, clueless.

"Just let me go to bed!" Her yell startled both of them. She didn't mean for it to come out like that but he was pushing her. "Just let me go to bed." She mumbled, damn near pleading.

"Could you please just talk to me." Rick's stance softened as he stared down at her, wishing she would open up to him. After Carl's shooting, she closed herself off to him and he would be lying if he said it didn't hurt his feelings because it did. "Michonne," she visibly tensed as he spoke her name.

"Okay," she nodded, giving in. "You really want to have this discussion?"

"I do." Rick reached for her hand but she snatched it out of his grasp and made her way to the couch. He watched her stumble a little before he ran his hand down his face and reached out to catch her as she plopped onto the piece of furniture with a loud thud.

"I got it." she roughly moved her arm away from his hand as he stared down at her, confused even more by the hostility she was throwing at him."Sit."

With a quick glance towards the stairs, Rick followed her instructions and sat in the chair adjacent to where she was seated.

"Why do you think you're a fool?" His voice was low but he knew she heard him.

"Do you know what I was before the turn?" She avoided his question with one of her own, knowing he didn't know the answer, so she answered before he could. "I was a lawyer. A big shot in metro Atlanta. I was the only Black female partner at my firm." A small smile graced her lips as she reminisced. "I had only been a partner for 3 months before the world turned to shit. I worked so hard. Stayed up late and isolated myself, damn near destroyed my relationship for that partnership." Her eyes stared off into the distance as she spoke. "Now it means nothing. All of that time I spent to create a better life for my s…"

Rick didn't say anything as he watched her closely. He was sure he knew what she was going to say but he didn't interrupt or want to assume, so he allowed her to collect her thoughts.

"All that time I spent to create a better life for my son and he couldn't even enjoy all of the opportunities." Michonne looked over at Rick, searching his eyes. He didn't seem shocked, he just looked sad and that was the last thing she wanted him to feel. The pity was not needed. "This world we live in now took him away from me. His father, he wasn't cut out for this. He didn't take it as seriously as he should have."

Her breath hitched in her throat as Rick's thumbs wiped her tears. She hadn't realized she was crying but she also wasn't surprised.

"All he did was get high and that's exactly what he was when I found him. High." She reached up and wiped her eyes. "He was holding our lifeless son in his arms and all I saw was red. I wanted to kill him but he was already dying. Him and his friend Terry had both been bit, so I let them turn. I mulilated them. Cut off their arms so they couldn't scratch and their jaws, so they couldn't bite." She looked away from Rick and sighed. "I even had to put down my own child." Her voice cracked before she let out another shaky breath. "Because his father failed to protect him."

Rick reached for her hand and she let him.

"I failed to protect him. I knew better but Mike wanted to feel like he wasn't being completely useless."

"What was your son's name?"

Michonne stared at Rick for a brief moment. "Andre."

He nodded and squeezed her hand. The contact made her feel safe and she was annoyed with herself for even giving him this much control of her. He didn't deserve it but she couldn't help how she felt.

"I felt like a fool for leaving my child with a man that hadn't adapted to this world. I felt like a fool for loving Andrea so much even when she easily turned against me." This time she broke their eye contact and closed her eyes. "I've never admitted that out loud."

Rick hadn't mumbled a word as he continued to stroke her hand with his thumb.

"I had protected her, nursed her back to health for 8 months and she turned on me in the blink of an eye for the first man that showed her some attention." The anger was clear in her tone. "But she was my friend. Maybe she didn't know it because I hadn't spoken much in that time but my actions were enough proof, you know?" Rick nodded as Michonne closed her eyes, trying to will herself to stop crying. "She was someone who helped me find my humanity again because I was so lost before her, before Carl, before you."

Her eyes traced Rick's face as she opened up to him.

"But you know what? I also felt like a fool for sharing this house with you and co-parenting with you."

His small ministration of her hand stopped immediately because he couldn't believe she had just said that.

"You were running around this damn community like a mad man, keeping secrets, conspiring, and sneaking around with Jesse while I was here with your children." She sat up this time and wiped her tears quickly. "You would probably be with her right now, not even paying attention to the fact that I've been coming home late if she was alive."

"How could you say some shit like that?"

Michonne's head jumped back at the sentence more than his angry tone. That tone was one she had become accustomed to but he was more hurt than anything. It was written on his face. "That's how I feel Rick. How would we have continued this arrangement? Eventually, the relationship with her would have developed to more and where would that have left me? Huh?" She wanted an answer to this question.

"You would have still been here." He furrowed his brows because he honestly didn't know why she thought it would have been any other way. "They're your kids too. You know that, Michonne."

"See that's the thing, Rick. They're not." She stood from the couch and shook her head. "She would have wanted my spot in their lives and although, Carl is mine until the end of time, Judith would have become accustomed to the change fairly quickly."

"You really think I would have let that happen?"

Michonne tilted her head and stared down at him. "Yes." She began her journey to the staircase, dreading the walk. "I'm goin' to bed."

On that note, she left a stunned Rick in the dark living room by himself digesting her words.

—

The next morning Rick made his way down the stairs to breakfast hearing laughing, music and talking along the way. He slowed to a stop at the entrance and stared at Michonne as she danced around the kitchen with a growing Judith on her hip. Carl was seated on a bar stool as he smiled at their interaction.

"Get up." Michonne was in front of the young man with her free hand extended. Carl shook his head, causing his long brown hair to fall over his eye. "Come on."

"I don't want to bump into you. You know I can't see that well." His somber tone made Rick's heart ache.

The music was down within a second as Michonne sat Judith down in her high chair, focusing fully on Carl. "Don't do that." Her tone was firm. "You beat the odds Carl and not only are you alive and breathing, you are making great progress. Morgan says you are building up more strength by the day. Please don't sell yourself short."

The teen shook his head slowly. "I just feel not whole. I just want to be all of the things I was before."

"But you're not. You're better." She emphasized. "You can do things I can't." A small smile appeared on her face. "Close your eyes and breathe in." She coached going over the breathing exercises Denise said would help him focus in on his new heightened senses. "Tell me what you hear."

"Dad in the doorway sniffling and someone just walked onto the front porch."

Everyone turned as the knock came to their front door.

"See!" Michonne pulled him into a hug. "I wouldn't have been able to hear that."

"Yes you would have." Carl tried to hide his prideful smile.

She placed her hands on both sides of his face. "No, I wouldn't have. Not in here and you know that. That is all you, Carl."

Rick left the scene and made his way to the door to see Spencer standing there. The young man looked up from his boots to the man of the house. "Good morning. Is Michonne up yet?" Rick furrowed his brow, wondering why the Monroe boy was at his doorstep at 8 in the morning. "She, um," he cleared his throat awkwardly. "She left her book at my house last night."

"Spence. Hey." Michonne walked into the room and placed her hand on Rick's shoulder as she stared at the visitor. "Thanks for bringing this by. I plan on staying home today, so this saved me a trip."

Spencer's eyes made their way from the ground and up Michonne's body. She stood in front of him in her favorite blue robe. The garment stopped mid thigh, giving him the full view of her chocolate legs. By the time, he made it up her torso and saw her perfect cleavage perfectly covered, his heart rate sped up as he finally handed over the item he was here to drop off.

"N-no problem." His eyes quickly shifted over to Rick's and he looked like he was ready to pounce on the young man. "I'll head out. Hope I'll see you later."

Michonne's cheeks heated a little under both of their gazes. "Sure. I'll stop by around 8? Is that good for you?"

"Yeah." He responded eagerly, wishing he played it more cool but the woman in front of him was one of the only people from the new residents that made his new life without his family manageable. Maybe he was trying to fill an unfillable void but it seemed like the beautiful woman in front of him was creating her own space in his life, unknowingly. "Have a nice day."

She stepped back inside of the house followed closely by Rick. They entered the kitchen as he finally greeted his children, keeping his eyes on the woman of the house as she avoided eye contact. She turned the music back on and continued to make her way around the room, making pancakes and scrambled eggs.

Rick played with Judith and talked with Carl about his training as Michonne leaned against the counter, watching the family's interaction with a cup of coffee in her hands. She could not tear her eyes away if she wanted to because they were hers. Even though Rick in all of his alpha glory often got on her nerves, the people in front of her were hers and she wouldn't trade them for anything in the world.

After fixing plates for everyone including herself, they sat at the table and ate in a comfortable silence until the youngest Grimes interrupted the silence. She had been trying to get Michonne's attention but she was so lost in her thoughts that she hadn't been paying attention.

Judith groaned before she whined out. "Mamamama," Everyone at the table stopped what they were doing and faced the young girl, whose face grew red from the attention. But she quickly focused on her task and handed the soggy pancake to Michonne.

She quickly recovered from the initial shock and took the piece of food from the young girl, thanking her. Carl decided to spark up conversation about his new comic. Everyone engaged but it was clear the adults in the room were there physically but not mentally. So the young boy quickly finished his breakfast, grabbed his sister, and headed over to Maggie and Glenn's house.

"I'll wash the dishes." Rick spoke up suddenly.

Michonne nodded not really paying him any attention as she tried her best not to cry but hearing that simple word had brought forth so many emotions. She made her way upstairs and decided to stay in her bed, staring at the wall.

When a knock sounded through the room, she knew it was Rick and she honestly didn't feel like talking to him but after the things she said last night, she knew she couldn't ignore him. He was going to want to finish up the discussion.

"Come in."

"You alright?"

"Mhm," She hummed finally looking at him. He stood there dressed in his favorite jeans and a brown t-shirt. "Do you have toothpaste?" Her eyes finally landed on his face.

Rick nodded before he made his way over to the bed. "Can I sit?"

She moved over, signalling that it was okay. Neither made an attempt to speak as they sat there in silence. Michonne reached for Rick's hand with tears blurring her vision. "I never thought I would be called 'mama' ever again." The confession made his heart swell as he stared at the woman in front of him. "It was such a bittersweet moment. Judy only knows four words and apparently that's one. Who knew?"

"I did." He responded, watching as her eyes finally met with his. "She said it last night as she looked for you to put her to bed."

"Way to lay it on thick, Rick."

A small chuckle left his lips as he shook his head. "I'm serious." Michonne didn't say anything else so they once again fell into a comfortable silence. "You know I couldn't replace you if I tried, right?"

She stared at him and pulled her bottom lip between her teeth. The answer she wanted to say was an answer he didn't want to hear, so she just shrugged. "Rick, when we got here, you were someone I didn't know. You kept saying we couldn't trust these people and they were weak yet, you wanted to save the damsel in distress. It didn't make sense."

"He was beating-"

"I know." She cut him off and removed her hand from his. Both of them missed the warmth immediately but she settled for pulling her knees to her chest and hugging them. The position seemed weak in her mind but it was comforting. "But your reasons were selfish. They weren't authentic and I get it. We all have an itch that needs to be scratched but there were other single white women here. I wish one of them would have come and given you a haircut. Would have saved us a lot of unnecessary drama."

Rick looked stunned. "Single white women?" He repeated her words with a chuckle. "Michonne really?"

She couldn't help but laugh at herself as well. That was definitely a thought she should have kept to herself. She wasn't insecure and she wasn't about to start today. "Sorry."

"Don't be." Rick replied. "Speak your mind all of the time. If it wasn't for you, we wouldn't be here. You wanted this place. You fought hard for this place. You help me run this place." She didn't say anything as he stared at her. "I am the fool for making you feel like anyone could take your spot. That isn't possible. We've been through hell and back with each other. You've saved my life more than once. I trust you with my life, with my children's lives." He tilted his head and reached for her hand. "Don't tell Carl but you're my best friend too."

Back in the friendzone, great, she thought.

"Yeah, you too."

"Is Spencer taking my place? I'm a little concerned." He joked, trying to lighten the mood because he saw the way her face dropped when he referred to her as his friend.

Michonne didn't respond as she got off of the bed and made her way to the door. "Everyone has an itch that needs to be scratched." On that note she left Rick sitting there even more stunned as she made her way to his bathroom to retrieve the toothpaste.