A/N: This is my second Gakuen Alice fan fiction. I hope you like it. Please kindly leave your reviews after you finished reading. :)

Disclaimer: I do not own Gakuen Alice and all the characters in it.

Chapter 1: Hopeless

Natsume was bleeding about everywhere. He staggered past the tall gate of the Academy in the dead of the night, leaving trails of blood behind. Upon his arrival, the man who's in charge of guarding the gate that night wore an expression as if a ghost standing in front of him. It took a few seconds until he noticed the school uniform he was wearing and that he was actually a live human being. So he opened the gate for him but with just a glance over his eyes Natsume knew exactly what was in his mind. Confusion, sympathy, horror, fear or even disgust. He didn't blame the poor guy for reacting like that. In fact he was very familiar with the look. Almost everyone who saw him every time he came back looking like a whole load of shit just like tonight gave him the exact same gaze.

Well, almost means that a heartless person like Persona wouldn't even care how bad he was hurt as long as the mission succeeded. And for his fellow Dangerous ability, getting injured was never something to be overreacted about. Some of them even injured themselves deliberately to avoid being assigned into a mission sometimes or when they knew they had failed, in hope to spare themselves from Persona's wrath and reduce the punishment they'd received after. It may sound cowardice and pathetic but for them, there's just too much at stake. While the other students were busy with school life and their star ranking, member of Dangerous Ability were avoiding guns and bombs thrown at them. They had only one hope; to make it past the years alive so they could finally graduated from this hell called Alice Academy where they spent everyday's life walking on thin ice. One mistake on a mission and they could be gone forever before anyone even noticed.

But Natsume didn't give a damn about all that. For him, regardless of how many missions he succeeded and survived from, he knew he wouldn't live long enough to see graduation. In fact, he'd be very lucky if he could make it past the middle school. He was eight when the first symptom started to appear. Persona had to drag him back to the Academy and he was admitted to the hospital when he suddenly collapsed in the middle of a mission. That's when they found out he has the fourth type Alice, the limitless one that consumes its user's own life and would eventually kill him if being overused. He was terrified. He didn't want to die. He thought about his father, regretting how he left without even saying a single word of goodbye to him. He couldn't, to be exact. It was too painful at that time, leaving the family that he cared about the most, knowing that he wouldn't be able to meet them again until thirteen years later.

Back then he thought his decision of going to Alice Academy was for the best. They promised him that Aoi would get every medical attention she needed for her recovery and his father could really pursue his dream as a comic artist without having to hide from the Academy anymore. He had Ruka by his side, and he was sure things couldn't get any worse, but he was proven wrong. Little did he know back then, even though she no longer had her Alice, Aoi too, was taken from their father's arms and hidden somewhere by Persona inside this Academy, only so they could bind his neck with a thick unbreakable chain called his sister's life, and the one holding and pulling it was none other than the Elementary School Principal himself, the man Natsume hated more than anything. Since then, he only had one purpose in life; to save Aoi so they can live together in the outside world as a family once again.

Now, he realized those dreams that he held onto so tight every night before he slept might never become a reality. He could feel his body deteriorating with each breath he took and while the everlasting pain was so noticeable most of the time, it was conveniently overlooked and they just turned a blind eye on him. He'd be given twice his workload if he ever complained, or they'd have Ruka do it instead. So he stopped voicing his thought, and every night he would just swallow the blood from the back of his throat, put on the Black Cat mask and unleash the monster they made him to be. He lost count on how many times he visited and spent his night at the hospital. The doctors never told him the whole story about his health, no, because the knowledge would be too much for an eight year old to handle. But from the various treatments conducted and the amount of medications they prescribed to him, it was clear how bad his condition was and with that, Natsume could more or less guess the prognosis of his illness. Even so, he bit back the bitter truth because nothing could be done otherwise.

Natsume had never called for help; no one could help him anyway. He stopped crying ages ago, as he also stopped hoping there would be a warm hand stretched out towards him, not to hurt, but to pull him out of the darkness he didn't know how to get out from. For these two years, he'd been struggling alone for every sleepless night that was so freaking painful. He finally reached to the point where he thought the only way to be free from nightmares is to die. No more waking up to the pain, no more missions, no more pills. He could sleep peacefully for eternity without having to worry about anything else. It sounded so tempting, but the time to finally put down the burden he'd been carrying around on his shoulder and let go of everything still hasn't come, not yet, not until he made sure that Aoi is free from Persona and Kuonji and returned safely to her father. Until then, with bleeding hands he'd still clutch onto the thinnest thread offered to him at the edge of a cliff, even if he's bound to fall in the end.

His legs felt like mush, Natsume forced one step after another until he reached the hallway of their dormitory. He cursed as he tripped over his own feet and fell heavily to the ground, groaning for every cut and bruises on his body that screamed as they collided roughly with the hard floor. Everything in his sight became a blur. His heartbeat quickened and his breathing was anything but even. He frowned as the familiar metallic taste in his mouth became overwhelming. Knowing what was coming; he clenched his hands and put it in front of his chest while the queasy feeling climbed up his throat. The next thing he knew he was hacking, retching and coughing dark red blood that splattered all over his shirt and onto the floor. It was a very terrible sensation that lasted for about a minute before he started curling into a ball, wheezing and choking his own breath. Tears prickled behind his tightly closed eyes as he touched his clammy forehead with the back of his hand, feeling it too hot to his liking.

After what seemed like forever he finally mustered the strength to get up, his muscles quivered but he continued walking until he stumbled into his own room. Natsume pulled open a drawer and took out a great amount of pills from three different bottles into his hand then gulped them all at once. It consisted mostly of pain killers and sleeping drugs, and he couldn't care less even if he overdosed. He sat silently for a while, not bothering to change his sticky clothes or at least clean the blood on his body, even when it stained the white sheets covering his mattress.

While enduring his pain, Natsume thought about how much he hated his life and he wished everything would just disappear in this crooked, filthy world where people lie everyday and everyone puts on a phony front to mask their true nature as the most arrogant, self-centered, selfish beings, because despite his young age, Natsume had seen and known too much darkness that he could never look at the world the same way it never was again. He loathed those students in the Academy who could still smile and laugh ignorantly because they never knew what it felt like to have somebody dying right in front of their eyes; they never knew what the smell of burning human flesh was like, all the faces and the screams, and guns, and fires, and that if he died they'd probably be the one taking his place, so let's see how long those smiles will last when they found out life isn't all sunshine and rainbows. Better enjoy your oh-so-peaceful little life while you still can! Those thought entered Natsume's mind as he slowly drifting into sleep.

At first he thought it would be another nightmare. He always had the same nightmare recently, where he returned to their old house up on the hill near the village. He was alone when fire started to appear and suddenly the whole house was burning. He was trapped inside, but behind the thick black smoke from the window he could still make out the sight of the fire that was spreading at an abnormal speed towards the village, and soon everything was engulfed in flames. He watched in horror as the sound of the bloodcurdling screams came from every direction, tearing him apart.

Help us!

It hurts!

He told them all to go away. It wasn't his fault. It was the Academy's trick that got the whole village burned down. He crouched down and had his hands covering his ears but the cries of death were only getting louder. Then he realized they were not coming from around him, but from the inside.

Murderer!

It was the screams of the people he killed during his missions. Men, women and even children. Yes, it might not have been his fire that burned down the village, but he sure had killed those people with his own hands. And they're coming after him. He felt so helpless when he witnessed burning corpses began to rise one by one from ashes and flames and surrounded him, every one of them seeking for revenge. They're getting close, and he closed his eyes, ready to atone for his sins. Then just before their hands could reach him, he jerked awake gasping for air, covered in sweat, however glad because the nightmare's over.

But this time was different. When he opened his eyes he was at a beach, the same beach where his father had brought him and Aoi once in commemoration of his deceased mother. It was his first, and would probably be the last time he ever saw the sea. Everything was exactly how he remembered it. The sky was filled with various shades of crimson and bright orange as the blazing sun was setting, receding slowly into the ocean, and the sound of the waves crashing against the shore reminded him of a much peaceful time when they spent hours just staring at the sea, and the day his father promised them that a better times would come where even as Alices they would be able to live freely someday, no more running or hiding from the Academy, and they could just do anything they like because the possibilities were as limitless as the ocean. Natsume foolishly believed it for once because he knew his mother had worked hard to make this world a better place for Alices, but back then he had no idea, no idea at all that some darkness was just so dense and menacing that not even the brightest light could put an end to it.

Natsume drifted his eyes from the horizon and decided to walk along the shore. After walking for a few minute he spotted somebody standing far to his left, staring at the sea. It was a woman. Even though he could only saw her back, Natsume couldn't have mistaken the figure and her shoulder-length raven hair that was swiftly blown by the wind. She's the person he had known for such a long time. Half disbelieving, he ran barefooted on the sand towards the woman, each step felt unusually light that he wasn't even panting at all when he stopped right behind her. Feeling his presence, the woman turned around and Natsume's eyes became wide.

"Mother?"

A/N: I'm going to post the next chapter tomorrow so please follow and favorite if you like this story. Also don't forget to leave your reviews. Thanks for reading by the way.