Disclaimer: I do not own Seinfeld and Friends. Seinfeld belongs to Larry David and Jerry Seinfeld. Friends belongs to David Crane and Marta Kauffman. No infringement of copyright is intended, and no profit will be earned.

Author's Note: This takes place with Season 9 of Seinfeld lining up with Season 4 of Friends.

Elaine walks into Central Perk to get a cup of coffee.

"Hi, I like to get a cup of coffee to go, please," Elaine said.

"Coming right up," Gunther replied. "I must say you are a very beautiful woman."

A smiling Elaine is flattered. "Oh, well thank you. You're such a charmer."

"You're as beautiful as another woman I know named Rachel. If I never get the chance to be with her, hopefully we can hook up."

"Don't push it," Elaine warning Gunther.

Gunther has his hands up in defense and walks away. Elaine sits on the couch as she waits for her coffee. She sits next to Ross, as he is reading a magazine. He then notices her.

"Hi," Ross said.

Elaine turned her head facing him and then smiled. "Hello to you indeed."

They both shake hands.

"I'm Ross Geller. Correction, Dr. Ross Geller."

"A doctor huh? You don't say," Elaine fascinated.

"Yes, Ph. D. to be exact," Ross stated.

Elaine continues to smile and slowly nods her head up and down. "My sponge worthy senses are tingling just fine," Elaine said then laughs in her mind.

Later, Elaine heads over to Jerry's apartment.

"Hey Jer."

"Hey Lainey, where have you been?"

"I was having coffee at Central Perk in Greenwich Village. I heard the place has great coffee."

"So is Central Perk's coffee any good?"

"Oh yeah, its great."

"Hopefully its better than Reggie's. There would be better competition if Central Perk was a rival of Monk's instead of Reggie's."

"Well with the coffee I had, it has to be better than Reggie's."

"Do they have egg white omelette and big salads?"

"Jerry, I just went to get some coffee, not to see if they have the exact same menu as Monk's."

"You could have asked while you were waiting. What were you doing at the time, busy picking your nose?"

"No, but I was busy having a conversation with a man."

"A man, huh?"

"He's not just a man Jerry, he's a doctor, Dr. Ross Geller, Ph. D."

"Surely this doctor is sponge worthy," Jerry assumed.

"Oh, he had sponge worthy written all over him. Not to mention, I sensed my sponge worthy senses tingling at that moment," Elaine smiled and then laughed.

"Well what Lainey wants, Lainey gets."

"That's right. Speaking of getting, I got his phone number too."

"Boy, you are on a roll today!" Jerry said.

"Well, I better get going, see ya," Elaine is leaving Jerry's apartment.

Kramer slides into Jerry's apartment.

"Hey Elaine," Kramer said.

"Hey, later Kramer," Elaine leaves out of the apartment door.

"Jerry, I met a woman today," Kramer said.

"Really," Jerry replied.

"Yeah, a beautiful blonde woman. She's sweet, kind, funny, and is one hell of a guitar player," Kramer explained.

"So what's her name?" Jerry asked.

"Phoebe Buffay," Kramer replied.

"Is she French?" Jerry asked.

"With a last name like that, she should be able to speak some kind of love language," Kramer replied.

"Buffay sounds like a French word for buffet," Jerry said.

"Or a French salon," Kramer pointed out.

"That too," Jerry agreed.

"Yeah I met her at the Central Perk coffeehouse," Kramer said.

"That's the same place where Elaine recently met a guy," Jerry replied.

"Really?" Kramer asked.

"Yeah," Jerry replied. "When exactly did you meet Phoebe?" he asked.

"Earlier this afternoon," Kramer replied.

"Elaine came here from Central Perk, so she obviously met the doctor she's dating not too long ago," Jerry assumed.

"What a small world we live in," Kramer replied. "You know Jerry, how about I get a date for you?" he asked.

"Kramer I don't need you to get a date for me. Jerry Seinfeld is capable of getting a date on his own."

"Come on, this is me doing you a solid, especially for being a great neighbor for all these years. Not to mention, people tend to think you're gay."

"I don't care what people think."

"Well you should and you're not getting any younger Jerry."

"Alright, I'm game."

"Yeah. I'll" ask Phoebe if she happens to have any friends that would go on a date with you and George."

"George too?"

"He's my friend too so I don't want to leave him hanging."

"Oh, I'm sure George would love that," Jerry being sarcastic.

Later that night, Phoebe arrives at Monica's apartment and sees Rachel sitting on the couch reading a magazine.

"Hey Rach!" Phoebe said.

"Hey Pheebs," Rachel replied while reading a magazine.

"Where's Monica?" Phoebe wondered.

"She's alone in her room. You know I feel bad that she is still devastated over her break up with Richard."

"Yeah, me too. In fact, I'm dating this guy named Kramer and he has two friends who are available for you and Monica. I was thinking it will make you two feel better to get back on the dating scene."

"Ah, Phoebe that's nice and all, but I'm not sure I'm ready to date again, especially with the way things ended with Ross."

"Oh come on, at least do it for Monica. I got the perfect match for her, its Jerry Seinfeld."

"The comedian Jerry Seinfeld?" Rachel smiled. "I love him, he is so funny."

"Yeah, and he and Monica are both neat freaks, so see... the perfect match!"

"So who's my date?" Rachel asked.

"George Costanza," Phoebe replied.

"How attractive is he?" Rachel asked.

"I don't know what he looks like, so you'll" have to find out on your date," Phoebe replied.

"So I'm going to go out on a limb and guess that he's no Brad Pitt," Rachel said.

"Well I'm going to go check up on Monica. Phoebe walks to Monica's bedroom door and knocks three times.

"Monica, can I come in?"

"Sure," Monica said sounding so depressed.

Phoebe opened the door. The bedroom was dark and there were candles lit all over Monica's bedroom. There is Monica on her bed, as she was laying on her left side. The whole time she was staring at the left side of her room, with a sad, depressing look on her face.

"Monica, what's going on?" Phoebe worried.

"I'm just lying here, as I wait for death to come and take me away," Monica replied in a depressing tone in her voice.

"Yeesh, dark much? You keep this up and you'll" end up suicidal. Oh my god, that is what happened to my poor late mother," Phoebe realized.

"Monica, I know it sucks that you and Richard broke up, but you can't spend the entire time in the dark... surrounded by... such delightful candle lights. I'll" admit, I would spend the entire night in this cozy room," Phoebe looking around the room.

"Phoebe I appreciate you trying to make me feel better, but I don't think anything will."

"What if I told you that I set you up on a date with Jerry Seinfeld?"

Monica rose up from the bed. "Jerry Seinfeld?! The comedian Jerry Seinfeld?!" Monica excited; she could not believe it.

"Do you know another Jerry Seinfeld?" Phoebe asked.

"I love him, he so is so funny!" Monica is overwhelmed with joy. "H-how were able to get me a date with him?"

"Well, I'm dating this guy named Kramer. He and Jerry are next door neighbors across the hall from their apartments. Rachel also has a date with Jerry's best friend, George," Phoebe explained.

"Phoebe, thank you so much for this, but I'm not sure if I can move on from Richard."

"Come on, I'm sure Richard has moved on by now."

"That doesn't sound like Richard to move on so quickly."

"This will be good for Monica."

"Okay. I'm going to sleep well tonight! Monica filled with excitement.

"You're going on a date with Jerry Seinfeld!" Phoebe excitedly said.

"I know!" Monica replied.

Two nights later, Ross arrives at Joey and Chandler's apartment.

"Hey Ross, I got three tickets for you, me, and Joey. The Knicks are playing against the Rockets tomorrow night, you're in?" Chandler asked.

Sorry, but uh, I have a date tomorrow with a lovely lady I just met at Central Perk."

"Well, well, well, a date you say?" Joey asked.

"Joey are little boy is all grown up!" Chandler proud.

"Yeah. Her name is Elaine and I can tell she is into me, especially since uh, she says I'm sponge worthy," Ross explained.

"Sponge worthy?" Joey confused. "Sounds like someone giving an old person a bath."

Ross and Chandler looked at Joey, as they did not know what to say next.

"Anyways, ignoring that," Chandler said; pointing his two fingers at Joey. "So what is she like?" How attractive is she?" he asked.

"How nice is the rack and that buttocks of hers? Joey asked.

Ross looks at Joey with a dull look on his face. "Oh, I don't know Joey. The next time I'll" carefully look down at her breast melons, and the next time she bends over, I'll" make sure to get a good look at her derriere," Ross being sarcastic.

"Alright, now you're talking," Joey couldn't help but smile.

"What is wrong you? He was obviously being sarcastic," Chandler said.

"Either way, let's make it happen!" Joey demanded.

"Anyways, Elaine is great. She is beautiful, funny, down to earth, she has such a breath taking smile by the way," Ross explained.

"Sounds like she's quite a catch," Joey said.

"She is. Well I better get going, you guys enjoy the Knicks game tomorrow," Ross said.

"You enjoy your date Romeo," Joey said.

"Go get 'em tiger!" Chandler said with such passion.

"So with Ross going on a date, who's going to be his replacement for the game tomorrow?" Joey wondered.

"How about Richard?" Chandler asked.

"Won't Monica have a problem with that?" Joey asked.

"Why would she? They are no longer a couple so I say its fine," Chandler replied.

"Yeah, but I'm sure Richard is still bummed about the break up," Joey said.

"If he is, we'll" get him some popcorn. If that doesn't work, we'll" take him to the strip club after the game," Chandler having everything according to plan.

"Yeah we will!" Joey said. Joey and Chandler high five each other.

The next night, Kramer slides into Jerry's apartment.

"Hey Jerry, you're ready for the big night?"

"I'm actually am ready for my date." Jerry notices the flowers in Kramer's hand.

"What's with the flowers?"

"Well unless you're a woman with breasts, these flowers are for Phoebe silly."

"You're giving her flowers already? This is your first date with her, you act as if you two have been dating for two months now."

"Well I prefer to give a woman flowers on the first date Jerry, I'm keeping it professional. By the way, you know when George will be here?"

"He should be here any minute."

George enters Jerry's apartment.

"And there's the little devil now," Jerry said.

"Kramer, I can't believe you set me up on a date, why did you have to get me involved?!" George asked.

"Well I didn't want to leave you hanging," Kramer replied.

"I would have been perfectly just fine not going on a date," George said.

"He's used to being alone, you know," Jerry being sarcastic.

"Well now that we're all here, its time to Giddy up! Gentlemen," Kramer said.

Jerry, George, and Kramer arrive outside of Monica's apartment.

"Is everyone ready?" Kramer asked.

"I am," Jerry said.

"Ready for this night to be over with," George said.

Kramer knocks on the door three times. Phoebe then opens the door.

"Hey Kramer," Phoebe said.

"Madam Buffay," Kramer replied. "These flowers are for you."

"Thank you, they're beautiful."

"Not as beautiful as you," Kramer points his finger at her and gives Phoebe a wink.

Phoebe blushes then notices Jerry and George. "Oh, are these your friends? Oh my god, it's Jerry Seinfeld! Can I hug you?!"

Jerry backs away from Phoebe while putting his hand up to make sure she doesn't come any closer.

"No because I don't personally know you, but a handshake will do," Jerry said.

Jerry and Phoebe give each other a handshake.

"And you must be George. Wow, you're short. You would be the perfect elf for Christmas," Phoebe said.

George stays relaxed and calm before he even thought about losing his temper. "Yeah, nice meeting you too," he said.

Phoebe and George shake hands.

"Come on in," Phoebe said. "Rachel, Monica, this is Kramer, we're dating."

"Hi Kramer," Monica said.

"Nice to meet you Kramer," Rachel said.

"Hi," Kramer said while putting his hand up.

Phoebe then grabs Jerry by the arm, as she walks him towards Monica. "Monica, here's your date."

Monica couldn't believe it. She was excited to meet the comedian she loves right in front of her eyes. "Jerry Seinfeld! It's like I've won the lottery or the big sweepstakes!"

"So Phoebe, who is my date?" Rachel asked.

"This little guy right here, George Costanza," Phoebe replied.

Rachel is shocked and speechless, as she does not know what to say.

"Are you sure this is the right George?" " Are you sure this isn't his little brother?" Rachel questioning Phoebe.

"Listen sweetheart, I know I'm not the GQ model you were expecting, but you're going to have to deal with what you got. We can either go out, or stay in, and be miserable together, your choice," George said.

"I'm sorry, but I just.. I just wasn't expecting you to be-," George cuts off Rachel.

"Short, stocky, and bald?" George assumed.

"Sure, let's go with that." Rachel said with a nervous smile.

Jerry whispered to Kramer. "Hey Kramer, I bet you twenty-five bucks that tonight will be the only night George dates Rachel."

Kramer whispered to Jerry. "Make it fifty and you got yourself a deal."

"Deal," Jerry whispered. They both shake on it.

Phoebe and Kramer are back at Kramer's apartment. They spend the night getting to know each other while sitting on Kramer's couch.

"I'm sorry for the loss of your mother Phoebe," Kramer being sympathetic.

"Thank you, but that was years ago," Phoebe replied.

"And you have a twin sister?"

"Yep, her name is Ursula."

"Is she as beautiful, also sweet as candy like you, my fair lady?"

Phoebe blushes again. "No, she's ugly and gross like hot garbage."

"Yikes. If you think about it, Ursula does sound evil. I'm glad I'm dating the right twin, huh?"

"Kramer, you are such the funniest, down to earth, awesome, laid back guy I have ever dated. I just want to let you know I'm glad that I got the opportunity of meeting you."

"I feel the same way my blonde gracious beauty."

"In fact, I actually wrote a song about you that I would like for you to hear."

"You actually wrote a song about me? When did you do that?"

"Oh hours before you came over to Monica's, it didn't take long to do it." Phoebe grabs her guitar to play the song for Kramer.

"Got the guitar, I see," Kramer is impressed.

"I hope you like the song," Phoebe is now playing the song for Kramer.

Kramer, Kramer, Cosmo Kramer,

I rather be with you than anyone lamer,

Kramer, Kramer, you're so funny,

Sweet and gentle like a little bunny,

Kramer, Kramer, you're so friendly,

I know you'll" always be there to protect me,

Kramer, Kramer, Cosmo Kramer,

I rather be with you than anyone lamer

"That's it, so what do you think?' Phoebe asked.

It.. was.. AWESOME!" Kramer said with excitement.

"Really?" Phoebe asked.

"Oh yeah! You got a gift for that guitar playing. You're like an angel that I have been looking for all my life. You complete me Phoebe Buffay."

Phoebe quickly grabs Kramer by his shirt; leaning him in closer to her. "Kiss me my fair lover," she said in a seductive voice.

Phoebe kisses Kramer on the couch. Kramer eyes grew wider, as he is enjoying being kissed by Phoebe.

Meanwhile, Jerry and Monica are having their first date at a restaurant. Monica still couldn't believe that she was on a date with Jerry.

"I'm really having a great time tonight. I still can't believe I'm on a date with you," Monica said.

"Who wouldn't want to date a Jewish comedian like me?" Jerry replied.

"So you're a neat freak, just like me? Monica asked.

"Oh absolutely. I hate leaving my apartment when it is messy and cleaning the bathroom is the most important task," Jerry explained.

"I'm all about keeping things nice, tidy, and organized in an exact fashion," Monica said.

"I don't think a lot of people realize how important cleanliness is next to godliness," Jerry replied.

"I know!" Monica said.

"I know, right!" Jerry replied.

Back at Ross' apartment, Ross and Elaine are having a glass of wine.

"A glass of wine for Madam," Ross handing the glass of wine to Elaine before sitting down next to her on his couch.

"Thank you," Elaine said when taking the glass of wine from Ross.

"Elaine, is it okay if I ask you this question?"

"Oh you can ask me anything Dr. Ross Geller, Ph.D," Elaine smiles.

Ross couldn't help but to snicker a little. "Loving it!" he said. "Uh, when it comes to a relationship between two people, and a man or woman tells the significant other that quote, "we need a break" unquote, does that mean its the end of the relationship?"

"Oh no doubt. When someone says "we need a break," its the end of the road for the relationship, there's no turning back. By the way, I think its cute when you do your little air quotes," Elaine added.

"Well thank you. The reason why I asked was my ex-girlfriend, Rachel's definition of quote, "being on a break," means the relationship isn't over, we just need time away from one another," Ross explained.

"Well of course she's going to say that. When someone in the relationship feels that he/she and the significant other needs a break, it automatically means they're done," Elaine explained.

"Oh my god, thank you! It finally feels good to know that someone agrees with me!" Ross replied.

"Sounds like its hard for her to admit that you were right. If you tell her that she's wrong to her face, she'll" get mad and will take it out on you."

"I agree. Rachel has some nerve to get mad at me, like I'm the bad guy!" Ross frustrated.

"You don't need Rachel. I can be your new Rachel, what do you say, Rossy poo?" Elaine puts her arm around Ross' shoulder.

"Rachel who?!" Ross replied.

The next morning, Kramer slides into Jerry's apartment in a wonderful mood.

"Morning Jerry! Such a beautiful day, isn't it! Its even more beautiful when you're in LOVE!"

"Well someone had a wonderful night," Jerry said.

"Not just wonderful, also a magical night," Kramer replied.

"So what did you and Phoebe do all night in your apartment?"

"Well we sat on the couch, talking, getting to know each other, she even wrote and played a song about me."

"She wrote a song about you? When did she do that?"

"She wrote it hours before we got to Monica's place. Jerry, the song is music to my eyes, its called "Kramer, Kramer, Cosmo Kramer."

"She must be a hoot playing that guitar, huh?"