Chloe's eyes hurt; the pain, a stabbing sensation as it hacked away at her. The light wherever she was was so bright that she could barely keep them open as it glowed down on her.
She could feel her heart racing out of her chest; confused, disorientated and downright scared. Where was she?
"Chloe?" The voice again but this time it was rather more urgent. "Chloe? It's okay, you're safe". It was almost as though she could not understand the words that were floating through to her in the molasses of her mind. She felt something touch her right hand, someone squeezing it tight but no sound was coming from her mouth as she tried to speak, almost choking with the need to say something, anything. "It's alright, I promise you are safe". The male voice was more familiar this time as a blurred face loomed into view and she was able to focus on the sound, the look. Dark hair, blue eyes and a smile she recognised; a relieved smile that was as he looked over her.
Chloe swallowed. Her mouth was dry and her chest felt as though someone had stamped repeatedly on it; taken sandpaper to her throat. She took several very deep breaths, needing to gain some control. The face came better into clarity as her eyes watered against the gritty desert they had become.
"Dan?" she croaked, trying to programme her fingers into squeezing back. Was that him? Dan? Was that you?
"Hi" Dan replied softly, keeping tight hold of her hand. She could hear the strength of the relief in his voice. "Don't try to move, Chlo. Do you want water?"
Chloe nodded frantically and a straw met her lips. They both heard a door open as she drank down the cool liquid, feeling it soothe her throat. It was nothing like that clean, clear water she drank in Hell but it was water none the less and it served its purpose. As she watched Dan put the cup down, she licked her lips. Hell. She had been in Hell, or had she? The taste of that water; she could still feel it but was it real? Chloe moaned in pain and exhaustion and his concerned gaze shot back to her face.
She'd woken up, in hospital and a dull pain in her left leg began to focus her. Of course she hadn't been in Hell. It was just a trippy dream and the cavernous sensation in her middle, it was...devastating. Lucifer was still gone, just as he had been before, long before and she would never see him again, not in the flesh, not to touch, not to hold... It was a dream then, some kind of anaesthetic induced fantasy and her heart sunk. A door to her left opened, staff summoned by Dan who unbeknownst to her had pressed the call bell the moment she started to wake. Practicalities hit.
"Ah" another voice came. "You are back with us at last Miss Decker", the doctor smiled. Chloe turned away from Dan to see a doctor walk in. "You gave us rather a scare there", he said.
"I did?" she asking, gesturing for Dan to help her sit up, dragging her stiff and sore leg with her.
"Hmmmm" the doctor replied, nodding his head. "It took us rather a while to wake you up from the anaesthetic there my dear. A bit of a false start but as you are with us now let me get one of the nurses to take some vitals and we can talk more". He patted her arm and walked away.
Chloe just nodded dumbly. Those times when she had been out of breath as she ran through the corridors of Hell with him and with Rae Rae; she had been right. That moment he had pushed her against the wall and she could barely speak. They had been trying to wake her body up. "What did he mean?" she asked, her whole body at war with the vivid memories she had. She focussed on his face in some desperate attempt to centre herself. Had Dan been crying? He looked like he hadn't slept in days.
"They tried to wake you up when you came out of surgery but you wouldn't breathe on your own. When they tried a second time the nurses had to hold you down you fought them that much", he concluded with a pained smile. He had witnessed that second time and it would be imprinted in his mind for years to come as she kicked and fought, and had to be restrained.
So there it is, she thought. In the run to the throne room and the second time, so, so out of breath as she ran up the tower steps to look over his kingdom once she had escaped Azrael's clutches. She had barely made it up the steps when she staggered into the room, gasping as she fell to her knees as she felt her entire body - no what must have been her soul - lift into the light. "Do you want some more water before they come back?" Dan asked, snapping her out of her melancholy again.
"No" she responded, shaking her head. "Thanks Dan, no. Is Trix okay?"
He nodded. "Maze has her. We tried...we tried to keep as much as we could from her, but she's not stupid. Ella's been, Maze, Linda and your Mom". Chloe nodded, surprised at the last one but there you go.
"Did...did anyone else visit?" she asked, hoping against some vain hope that somehow Lucifer might know, somehow he might just have...Chloe stopped herself. Maybe she had met Michael, maybe she had met Azrael, if she had been that close to well, you know. Maybe they had told him. Maybe just maybe he had...It was silly, but she just missed him so much. Dan shaking his head broke her train of painful thought before were interrupted by two nurses walking in and any more conversation had to wait. Chloe submitted herself to their care still hanging on tight to Dan like it was still a decade ago, but he did not let go either.
Chloe's eyes were slowly closing. It was near on 9pm now and with everything that had gone on today she was exhausted and alone in all senses of the word. The room was silent now, the sky outside a rich shade of navy as another day she could not get back closed behind her. Carefully she rubbed her face, pressing her eyes closed and second by second sleep finally took her under. It did not however last particularly long.
Somewhere in some place deep inside her own mind, Chloe walked in darkness, not seeing, not hearing but feeling as though she was being watched from every angle. The ash under her bare feet she could feel as it crunched and broke but the places she walked were silent of noise. It wasn't unnerving; in fact it felt rather safe, familiar, comfortable. Running her fingertips along the wall, dust and ash blackened her skin until she hesitated by a corner. She could hear someone talking; talking with such a speed that the words were a jumble. It sound manic, distressed, angry and as she rounded towards the noise she could see his frame, tall, broad, red, angry leather like wings protruding from his back. Chloe smiled, not feeling a scrap of fear or trepidation at his full form. It was not unlike the other dreams that she had had of him before; ones where he was just out of reach; just out of touching distance. Sometimes he would appear to her as the bouncy, smiley, happy Lucifer who would deliver her coffee and the other form –his devil form- who would set her on fire inside just as much.
"Lucifer?" she asked, seeing the figure spin around as she walked, fingertips still running along the wall. She took another step forward, barely a foot away from him. "Lucifer?" It was only these past days that her dreams, however they came about, had let her reach forward and touch him like it was a reality. He stretched out a clawed hand towards her, grabbing hold and she was pulling him towards her before Chloe felt a shake of her shoulders.
"Miss Decker?!"
Chloe focused to see a young nurse, leaning over her and smiling. "You were restless when I came into to check on you" she offered. "Would you like something to help you sleep?"
Her patient shook her head. "No, thank you, but no".
The nurse did what she needed to do and Chloe settled again, turning her head towards the window and watching the stars. "You created those didn't you?" she asked the imaginary figure in her head. "All of those beautiful stars they are yours. They are all yours and all I can do is watch them and wonder..." A tear or two slipped down and dissolved into the pillow on which she was resting her head. "You probably can't hear me" she continued, swallowing nervously, "but I do love you, please don't ever forget that".
She turned on her side, wincing a little at the pain in her leg, another tear sliding over the bridge of her nose, tickling her before it fell to its fate. Closing her eyes again, Chloe breathed in and out trying to lull herself back to sleep. Again she might have succeeded for a while but again there was that feeling she was being watched.
A noise outside the room, perhaps a door slamming shut, jolted her out of the sensation, moving restless again. Then she saw him. Lucifer. Lucifer bloody Morningstar sitting in the seat that Dan had left not so many hours ago. He wasn't smiling, or talking or anything - just looking at her like she was the most precious diamond in existence, his head leaning to one side, studying her form as she lay there. Chloe shifted in bed again, a stab of pain going through her thigh. Taking as many deep breaths that she could muster up, she shook her head. "No, not again. Please don't tell me I'm dreaming or I'm hallucinating or that you are." She couldn't take that any more. "Not again, I can't..." He got up and her heart started racing out of what? Fear? Anxiety?
He reached forward and her eyes tracked the movement as she felt him take her hand, pressing his lips to her skin once, twice, a third time before he placed it gently back on the bed. "Lucifer?" The sensation was so real and she wanted to scream. "Please..." she begged as her own mind tortured her. The feeling of the bed dipping as he sat down was so real too.
"Detective?" he offered, his voice just as deep, just as comforting, just as British as it had ever been; clear as day like he was sitting barely a foot away from her.
Chloe sniffled. "I'm dreaming". It was almost as though it was she was trying to remind herself before it killed her. "I always was". The vision before her, leaning to her, shook its head and smiled at her. Smiled at her; and she saw his hand twitch to reach for her again.
"I don't think so, Chloe" he offered simply.
"What?" she asked, worried, confused and every other negative adjective you could think of. Stop torturing me, please, please, please stop it.
Smiling again, from the inside of his black jacket Lucifer produced the red, green and gold rope that once adorned their wrists, wrapping it again in figure of eight around her and him, repeating the short prayer he had whispered in her mind. Chloe gasped. Her Hell-Wedding. She raised her eyes from the rope to him. It felt so real. It was so real.
"I don't think we ever dreamt it my darling. I don't think we ever did".