Zuko was not a fan of PDA. He could pinpoint the exact moment he decided, the moment that he realized he did not enjoy watching a couple kiss or touch. It was not something he thought consciously, but a soft realization; something his body reacted to before his mind did.

He had been watching Katara, her sapphire eyes lighting up like the ocean beneath a sunrise. She extended her arms, holding them out as Aang approached, wrapping them around him like a cocoon she could keep him safe in. A chrysalis to keep the hero safe in her arms, a prison to hold him hostage from the duties he was called on to fulfill. A prison he would never want to leave.

Zuko turned away, feeling as though he had intruded on a private moment. Instead, they laughed, and Sokka groaned as he walked by, complaining that he didn't need to see them latched onto one another like a bee to a blossom.

Zuko didn't need to look again to understand; they had kissed. His mind was alight with thoughts of Katara, interrupted with thoughts of Aang and Katara so closely entwined.

Stop, he told himself, You're not supposed to think about her like that.

She called his name, and he forced a smile, walking closer with a greeting.

He was sure he wouldn't mind explaining his discomfort, public displays of affections weren't the most enjoyable to watch. And yet-he had never considered that when he and Mai were together, never thought about it when Suki kissed Sokka so suddenly. It was just Katara. Just watching her in Aang's arms, her hands held so tightly by his.

He didn't need to fool himself with lies that he would treat her wrong. No, Aang would treat her like the most glorious star in the sky. For that, he was thankful. She was receiving the highest caliber of partners-the most powerful individual in the world, the most adored and loved, and he loved and adored her most of all.

It became easier, Zuko believed, to feign indifference. He tried to get himself to look at something as simple as their pinkies twisted together, but even that gave him a nausea at the unfairness of life. The unfairness of realizing feelings when they were too late to be of any use.

The smell after rain, that's when he knew it. The way the bushes gleamed brighter, the smell of dirt and nature strong in the air. He had been sitting outside, his chest wrapped in bandages, when Katara visited. She sat next to him, her hair braided down her back just as it was the first time he saw her. He hated her then. Now he appreciated the way it curved around her neck and over her shoulder.

"How are you feeling?" She asked, holding her hands together on her lap.

He sighed, not knowing quite what to say.

"Like it's all over," He said, "Like we did it, like it's all done."

"And that's a grim thought because?"

Because I'll be alone again. You'll go back to the South Pole, Aang will go with you, Sokka too. Toph will teach her metalbending, and what will I do? He shook his head. He would not let her see the weakness as pathetic as loneliness.

"It's not. I've just had a goal, now I've achieved it."

She laughed, and the sound surprised him.

"Is this the first time that's happened? It's a good thing, you know."

He smiled, it was small on his face, but it was present. She held her hand out, pressing it over his chest. He tensed-he could feel every vein in his body, working to carry out their functions, and struggling to.

"How's your heart?" She asked, looking him directly in the eye.

"Oh..it's..better." He brushed some of his hair from his eyes.

Her eyebrows scrunched together.

"Are you sure? You seemed to tense up when I touched there. It didn't hurt at all?"

He quickly shook his head.

"No, just caught me by surprise."

She smiled and closed her eyes, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Oh, Zuko," She chuckled.

Her fingers were still pressed against him-could she feel the beats of his heart? Did she know?

"What?" he said, his tone getting sharp, defensive.

"You don't need to lie. No one is going to look down on you for needing help."

She smiled sweetly, and relief pressed through his body.

"Oh. I...I guess you're right," he replied nervously.

"Of course I am."

She moved her hands to her side, bringing back a steady stream of water. He used to watch her hands, when he fought her, her hands would reveal her attacks before they came. Now he watched her face, watched the concentration, counted the furrow of her brows.

He didn't feel the pain much, but he felt the relief, whatever she was doing was speeding up his recovery. When she stopped, she stood up, and ruffled his hair.

"You really should get a haircut," She said, then walked away.

He didn't know how to respond to that, but he ran his hands through his hair, felt his face grow red, and rushed off to find something sharp.

When it rained, he remembered that day, the day he felt he had a secret from her. Never before did he feel like a liar. Now he felt like he had been holding it in all along, stuffed down at the bottom of his throat, impossible to cough up.

He was not going to see her often enough for it to be a problem, he decided. It was an assuring thought, one he could rely on as he performed his royal duties. On rainy days, he cancelled his appearances. He knew they would see it on his face, hear it in his voice-the wistfulness and melancholy. He knew the soft touch of rain and the sweet smell it left behind-it would be enough to remind him of her gentle fingers and her focus on him, on his heart.

Then the message came. Delivered by a messenger hawk decorated in blue-straight from the South Pole. A wedding. A big, beautiful wedding, of the Avatar and the water tribe girl. The illustrations of the couple weren't quite so pretty, Sokka had clearly done them.

Zuko didn't know how to respond for a while-they were his friends, his dearest friends who had guarded his back in battle, even saved his life on different occasions. He needed to say something, to congratulate them, but the words kept getting muddled in his head. I always knew she would be yours. I'm so happy for you, both of you. Together. Yes. Great.

Luckily, he found another message inside from Sokka, one addressed to him, asking if he could arrange an engagement party at the Jasmine Dragon, just for friends and family. Apparently, in the South Pole, the Avatar had brought in a lot of visitors. A lot of pushy people who disrespected privacy and believed that they were invited to everything. Like a wedding.

This made things much easier for Zuko. He wrote to his uncle, both about the news and Sokka's request. Iroh, as always, was eager to help. He wrote back with plans to combine the symbols of the water tribe and air nomads in a paper decoration. Upon hearing this, Sokka said he would arrive a week before the party to help Iroh's decoration plans. Iroh also told Zuko to come early, but it was not an easy decision. He would go, but what if they saw? What if Sokka and Iroh saw the facade he put up around them? Around her?

He settled on arriving the night before. Initially, he planned to leave a week early, as he no longer had a travel option as convenient as Appa, but Sokka wrote that he could come pick him up while he had Appa. Zuko reluctantly agreed that this was the most convenient option, and sat in his room until the message came that the flying bison had arrived.

Upon seeing him, Zuko felt some joy. He missed his friends from the war, and he particularly enjoyed the humor Sokka could bring to things. He did not, however, seem particularly humoring at the moment. His eyes were decorated in sleepless circles of indigo, his hair was a nest, half ruffled up and the other half hanging down in twists and tangles. He gave Zuko a smile, and his eye twitched.

"Your majesty? Surely you want some company on this voyage," One of his guards said.

Zuko smiled back at Sokka, and shook his head.

"I will have enough company, thank you."

He sat on Appa's back, and Sokka carried them off into the sky.

"You can sleep if you'd like," Sokka said, his voice unstable.

"Are you alright, Sokka?"

He didn't want to ask the question, but Sokka had never been in a state so low he couldn't crack a joke. He seemed entirely too serious.

"What? I'm great! I've just been busy."

"Land Appa."

"We just took off! I'm not going to land him!"

"Do it Sokka."

"No."

"Now."

"Fine! Stupid regal authority."

Appa landed just beside the shores of the Fire Nation. The sound of waves crashing on shore seemed to relax Sokka, which was good. Zuko hopped down, and Sokka came down after. His arms were crossed.

"What is it dad?" Sokka said.

"You're unwell."

"What else is new?"

Zuko pressed his hand against Sokka's shoulder.

"Sokka, when your girlfriend turned into the moon you weren't this crazy."

He frowned.

"Well maybe that's just it. Maybe I'm finally grieving!"

He looked away, and Sokka could see a tear creating a path down his cheek.

"Is this wedding driving you crazy? Or..or is it.." Zuko started, carefully looking him over.

Sokka turned back to him, staring him straight in the eyes. The same sapphire blue of Katara's.

"Suki?" Zuko finished.

Sokka stifled a sob, and Zuko tightened his grip on his shoulder.

"I'm supposed to be really happy for Katara and Aang, and I am," He said, moving his hand rapidly as he spoke, "They just didn't realize the night they got engaged was the night Suki left."

Zuko's eyebrows came together.

"She left? Why would she leave?"

He bit his lip shaking his head.

"Said she was interested in someone else. Said she'd always have a special piece of her heart reserved for me but…"

He stopped, closing his eyes so the tears could fall.

"It's not her whole heart."

"How long have you kept this in?" Zuko asked.

"The entire engagement. I guess I thought someone would notice, but Katara seems exhausted from wedding planning, and Aang seems busy trying to coax her into sanity, and I'm trying to help them because she's my sister, and it's just been…" He took a deep breath, "too much."

Zuko sighed.

"I wish you had told me."

"And what would have happened? You're busy ruling a kingdom, buddy. I can't write you and ask to abandon your kingdom for something as small as-as slight mental instability."

Zuko shook his head. It never occurred to him that Sokka might have been alone as he was. He had Suki, he had his sister and Aang.

"I guess, Sokka. But I would have been there. You were there for me."

"You mean the time you tried to kill us so we didn't kill you back and brought you to safety?"

Zuko turned scarlet.

"Among other times, but that one in particular?" Sokka said.

Zuko nodded. Sokka gave him a smile, crooked, it looked like a crack in glass.

"Thanks buddy, now let's get going."

Zuko took the reigns, and whenever Sokka protested, he pretended to sneeze fire. Finally, Sokka passed out. He mumbled occasionally, but he was sleeping. Zuko knew he didn't need to worry about Sokka seeing anything about his feelings now. He was too busy surviving his own issues.

When they reached Ba Sing Se, Iroh was outside, waving his arms. He had been sitting on the balcony, with a pot of tea and a single cup, watching the sky.

Zuko landed Appa carefully on the balcony, so as to avoid the new crowd of people piling up outside the front entrance to see the Avatar. As soon as he climbed down, Iroh had him in a tight embrace. Zuko's body, as taut as the string of a guitar, relaxed for that moment.

Neither of them spoke, but Sokka sprang up on Appa's back.

"Are we there?"

He sniffed, looking around.

"Food?" He said wistfully, upon locating Iroh.

Iroh chuckled.

"Of course, my friend. I have prepared a wonderful feast."

Sokka slid down the side of Appa, landing unpleasantly on his side, but jumping up quickly, rushing by Zuko and into the shop.

"My nephew, how are you?" Iroh spoke, his voice calm and pleasant as always.

"I'm good. Great, actually," Zuko lied.

Iroh's eyebrow went up, though he kept his smile.

"I see. Here in the Earth Kingdom, the prosperity you have returned the Fire Nation to is heavily discussed-and searched for."

Iroh laughed, that big great laugh that Zuko remembered. It was the only sound of joy he heard for all his years away from home. He survived off of it, the same way Iroh survived off his tea.

"Well, come in, Fire Lord Zuko. This shabby little shop will not decorate itself."

He stepped toward the shop, and Zuko turned to look over the horizon, remembering the day they celebrated the end of the war, how Aang and Katara kissed right in this spot, how Sokka shrieked when he saw them.

He didn't see Iroh staring at him from the doorway, didn't know that his uncle, as always, understood him too well.

The week went by in a blur. Zuko focused his energy on Sokka. He took care of Sokka like a pet, telling him when to lie down, when to eat, when to drink tea. Sokka didn't resist much either, and if he did, Zuko would cook meat the way it was cooked in the Fire Nation, and Sokka would beg for some until he fessed into agreement.

When the night of the party arrived, the shop had been cleaned, redecorated, and covered in beautiful symbols of Aang and Katara. Toph showed up the last two days and sculpted a statue of metal for them-the two of them holding hands, gazing at one another. It was beautiful, and Zuko wondered how Toph could understand such detail and mimic it.

Aang and Katara arrived a little before sunset; since Sokka had come up early with Appa, they came in by boat, arriving in town by carriage. When they came in through the door, several guards had been placed outside to keep Aang or Katara from being mauled by fans. They entered the shop, and Zuko was taken aback by how different Aang was.

His grey eyes, once wide and naive with youth, had narrowed down with wisdom and experience. His brows were sharper, more intense, his face thinned down into an oval, and a touch of dark hair hung from his chin, but his smile still held that excitement and joy that it always did.

He was wearing his yellow and red robes as always, but these ones were nicer, made from something more vain-charmeuse instead of plain cotton. A single shoulder stood free from fabric, and what had once been little boy bones had become thick and beaded with muscle.

He waved upon seeing Zuko, though he was busy discussing with Toph.

Then Katara came in.

Her eyes shone with the same blue brilliance as always, but there was something new about them. They had always been as dark as the ocean and as bright as sapphires, but now they held cold in them, like ice. Sokka had said she had been struggling as well, that must have been it.

Her hair was tied in a knot behind her head, aside from two long strands that dripped down her cheeks and onto her collarbone. She immediately shed her coat, revealing a velvet gown a decadent shade of indigo. It held loosely to her curved shape, ending just above her ankles.

She smiled, and again there was something missing, some dazzle, some shine. Her smile seemed so false, like a lie strapped across her face. She embraced her brother first, moved on to Iroh, and greeted Toph. Then her eyes found Zuko.

All the warmth that was absent in her gaze returned. She marched down the narrow entrance and into the body of the shop, where Zuko stood by the metal sculpture. She wrapped her arms around him, and again his insides coiled up.

"It's been so long," She said, and her voice was crackled and frail as Sokka's had been.

"Are you alright?" He asked, tilting his head to look down at her.

He had not realized how much he had changed, either. He thought Katara had shrunk. He was now an entire foot taller than her.

"Am I alright?"

She laughed a little, and pulled away.

"I'm getting married, Zuko. I'm great. Just a little tired," She said, "How are you? You seem.." She looked at him up and down, not judgingly but adoringly, as if looking for a compliment, "..taller."

She giggled again, and Zuko blushed.

"Yeah, I guess I've grown a bit. I was going to say you shrunk."

She lightly smacked his shoulder.

"Shame on you, criticizing a bride's height."

"Someone had to," Remarked Toph.

Zuko straightened up. He had not realized the party had come to them.

"I'm still taller than you," Katara said.

"I could make myself taller if I wanted," Toph said, "Would probably give my enemies the benefit of the doubt, too."

Aang laughed, and that playful charisma was back.

"What're you laughing at, Twinkle Toes? You'd be at the front of the line to fight me without my feet touching the ground."

"I don't know. I've got all four elements this time."

Toph scoffed.

"You're lucky you're getting married. Katara, I apologize, but the moment after the wedding, it's a rematch between the Blind Bandit and your husband."

"After the honeymoon," Katara corrected, "Then I'm game."

Aang wrapped his arm around Katara, pulling her shoulders into him, and she shivered a little. He smiled at her, and she smiled back. Zuko fought the twitch in his neck telling him to look away.

"So," Iroh said, standing at the front of the room, "I've brought in the best cooks I've ever known to make a delicious buffet."

"Yes," Sokka said, "I have personally tested everything they have made, and I confirm that it is indeed delicious. Shall we head in?"

Sokka started for the buffet, but tripped, and Zuko noticed a bump in the ground before Toph mercilessly stepped over Sokka. Aang and Katara headed over next, Katara turning over her shoulder to flash another smile at Zuko. He felt his heart beat in a pattern it hadn't in years.

Sokka stood up, chasing after Toph, and Zuko followed last.

He didn't eat much; Aang didn't either, he was too busy talking to Toph and Iroh, taking turns to discuss with each of them. Sokka interjected occasionally to make a joke at someone else's expense, usually Toph's. Toph of course, explained her progress as a cop, and anytime Sokka tried to interrupt her, his fork would mysteriously fall out of his hand and onto the floor. On one occasion, Toph described a rough relationship with one of the newer cops. Sokka, who had just pressed food into his mouth, opened up to make a pun, and ended up choking, his fork pressing the food too far down his throat.

Zuko laughed when the group laughed, he smiled when Katara smiled, tried to act as if he was having as much fun as everyone else.

"How about you, Zuko?" Katara asked, "How's being Lord of the Fire Nation?"

Zuko cleared his throat. All eyes were on him, of course the worst were Katara's, glimmering in the candlelight.

"Well...you know, there's all these treaties to sign, small laws and big ones...and I have to read more history since I missed three years of schooling...and..and.."

"Did you tell them about the lightning?" Sokka asked.

Zuko's heart stopped.

"Lightning?" Aang asked, "What do you mean?"

"Yeah, he said he mastered the ability to use lightning. Isn't that right?" Sokka said.

Zuko bit his tongue. Apparently, while he had been taking care of Sokka, he had disclosed his new ability to at last create lightning. He only hoped he didn't tell him when that ability surfaced.

"Nephew, have you at last let go of all your pride?" Iroh said.

Iroh's smile radiated pride as they all gaped at him.

"I thought-I thought only Azula and Ozai could use lightning?" Aang said.

Iroh shook his head.

"It is a difficult gift, but with humility, one can achieve the gift."

"Ironic," Toph muttered, "If I were to think of a word to describe Azula, it wouldn't be humble."

Sokka choked again, though not from his fork. He was laughing. Toph smiled, and it wasn't her victorious smile, or taunting smirk, it was pure happiness.

"So you can do it?" Katara asked, "You can channel lightning?"

Zuko nodded slowly, thinking back to the day he made the discovery. The day he sat outside in the rain, remembering Katara's touch against his skin, thinking of her hand enveloped in Aang's. He had simply held his arms out, and felt the coldness of loneliness, the sorrow of giving your heart to someone who could not take it; sharp and jagged electricity had greeted him, and he had embraced it.

"Zuko," Aang said in disbelief, "That's amazing."

"Indeed," Iroh said with a smile, "My nephew is a very powerful bender."

Katara winced, and Aang's grip on her shoulder tightened. Zuko didn't understand why, but chose not to ask.

"Sorry," Katara said, wrapping her arms around herself, "It's just a little chilly in here."

"Says the girl who lives in the South Pole," Sokka said.

She glared at him, the way siblings do.

"Shall I tell the story of the moonlit dip, Sokka?" Katara asked.

Sokka turned vermilion.

"No, you know, I think we're all good here," He said quickly.

"Um, no we are certainly not! The 'moonlit dip?' This I've got to hear!"

So Katara told the story of how one night, while they were still at the North Pole, Sokka had gone skinny dipping in the ice cold waters, because he had a dream that Yue had asked him to.

By the end of the story, Sokka had hidden his face in his hands, Toph had fallen over from laughing so hard, and Aang had sympathetically patted Sokka's ponytail. Iroh decided it was time to present engagement gifts. Sokka had painted the two of them in the South Pole, Katara holding out fish to penguins while Aang hopped on their backs. With a start, Zuko realized it was actually a good painting, that Sokka must have practiced and practiced until it was good.

Toph made a pair of matching bracelets from crystal. She shaped and designed them so that like the decorations, they had combined the symbol of the Water Tribes, and the Air Nomads.

Iroh of course had gifted them a teapot. It was not particularly lavish, nor beaten down. He explained that it was the teapot given to him and his wife for their wedding. Aang refused to take such a sentimental item from Iroh, but Iroh insisted it was the sentiment that made the gift valuable, and that it was hard for him to have such a gift as it was.

When it was Zuko's turn, he took a deep breath, and unrolled a smooth roll. Inside, he knew, were two outfits, made from the purest silks on the planet. As he revealed them, Sokka's jaw dropped.

"What? What's so special?" Toph asked, holding her hands up.

"That's Brocade! The most beautiful, lavish fabric in the world!" Sokka said.

Toph shrugged.

"Clothes are clothes. It's not a big deal."

Sokka rolled his eyes at her.

It was clear which design had been made for who. One was silver and blue, the other gold and red. They were loosely shaped; made to be fitted and altered.

"Zuko, these are beautiful," Katara said, "They look like something for royalty."

Zuko shook his head. He felt ashamed of his gift. He didn't know what to get, so he bought the most expensive thing he thought they could use-and hated himself for it. Everyone else had poured time, thought and effort into their gifts. Everyone except him. Of course, he had a separate idea initially, but no one could have seen it and not known how he felt about Katara. This was much safer, even if it made him seem apathetic and snobby.

"I guess we know what we'll be wearing at the ceremony," Aang chuckled.

They ran their fingers across them, and Zuko twisted his fingers around a pale bead he took from his pocket. Katara turned and smiled at him, and he smiled back, willing time to move faster so the evening could be over.

When it was deep into the night and the moon had risen high, everyone went to bed. There were several guest rooms, all installed for this reason. Iroh had decided there was no point to having a house if no friends could stay over, so for that very reason, he had asked for seven rooms. One for him, one for Zuko, one for Katara, one for Aang, one for Toph, one for Sokka, and one for Suki. Of course, no one asked where Suki was. Zuko was thankful for this; he didn't think Sokka could deal with bringing her up.

Zuko tossed and turned that evening. When the sky became a dark blue instead of pitch black, he gave up on sleep all together, and crept into the kitchen, planning to make some tea. He lit a lantern and in the light, he noticed he wasn't alone. His uncle had already made a pot, and it smelled of jasmine. He smiled warmly at Zuko.

"Good morning, Fire Lord Zuko. You are up quite early."

Zuko tried to give his uncle a smile back, but felt odd lying to him, even with expressions.

"Yes," He said, "Could not sleep. Are you normally up this early?"

Iroh smiled, looking down at his tea.

"On occasion. It is easier to sleep when life is absent of issue. When there are problems present, it is more of a struggle."

His gaze drifted back up to Zuko.

"Tell me, Zuko, what problem has filled your mind with restlessness?"

He was smiling, softly, and Zuko knew in that moment that Iroh knew. He was asking out of politeness and respect-but he wanted Zuko to admit the problem out loud-which was something Zuko was utterly not willing to do.

"Just problems in the kingdom," Zuko lied, quickly, reaching for a cup and watching the pot of tea as he poured.

Iroh's gaze remained fastened onto him.

"Problems in this age of peace. Ah, Zuko, tell me what small issues these may be."

Zuko's mind raced; his heart ran the same marathon. He searched for words cryptic but clear.

"Well...many of the firebenders are glad to no longer colonize the Earth Kingdom. They are happy to return home, they feel as if….they no longer owe it to their nation to do what it wanted them to do. But some of them.."

His eyes met his uncle's, before quickly returning to the floor.

"Some of the believe they belong with the Earth Nation, even if the Earth Nation doesn't want them."

He hesitated.

"Even if the Earth Nation belongs to someone else."

Iroh's eyebrows rose.

"I mean-they belong to themselves of course," Zuko added, "But..at the same time they don't…?"

Iroh set his cup down and reached out to Zuko, taking his shoulder.

"The Earth Nation belongs to itself," He said, "No matter what alliances she makes, she is her own. However," he paused, and Zuko saw a spark in his eyes, as he often did when Iroh expressed his inner thoughts, "If the Fire Nation is too afraid to address this, if there is miscommunication, then all that may grow is frustration and discontent."

His tone was serious, though his words were gentle.

"The Earth Nation is a blossom on the branch of a tree. The wind can carry it away unless the tree holds on. If the tree relinquishes it so easily, would the blossom ever have the chance to hold on?"

Zuko didn't speak. Not until the sun rose.

"Maybe the tree has to let the blossom go, because it would destroy more than it would create."

Iroh stood, taking a final sip from his cup.

"Perhaps. But sometimes it takes loss for there to be gain."

He walked away, leaving Zuko alone in the kitchen.