A/N: OKAY! So this anon sent an amazing ask to the terrible-akuma-ideas blog ( post/188685739857/an-akuma-that-projects-your-inner-thoughts-for ) and I was instantly inspired to write something related to it- I legitimately burst out laughing and oh god I hope you all enjoy this! I think we all need a little breather from the Chat Blanc teasers. Without further ado, read on~
~(x)~
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The silence has never been so loud. Not even a pin drop was to be heard in the park across the Dupain Cheng Bakery.
The bespeckled couple along with their blonde companion stood as still as statues, arms stretched out and mouths gaping with fear and failure. They were too slow to save their friend...if only they were a second faster...if only one of them was even a smidge closer to the raven haired girl...
Marinette could have sworn that her heart stopped beating, hands clamped against her mouth and eyes close to bulging out of their sockets. The cackling akuma before her, dressed in the most hideous attire ever since Le Bubbleur made his debut. The akuma's hands stop glowing in its sinister, gold colour along with Marinette's body.
"Heh, now I wonder what interesting inner thoughts will escape you now, Class President!" The akuma- also self-claimed as 'Unprivatiser', cocked his head to the side in mock innocence. The akuma's power seems to have control over Marinette's hands as well from the way they were slipping down from her mouth despite her iron will. "Will they be as embarrassing as mine? Will they humiliate you just like the way everyone else humiliated me? Will we finally see if Miss Perfect of our collegé really is perfect?"
Marinette naturally sunk her teeth into her lips, shaking and attempting everything to keep her mouth shut. One wrong move and she could blurt out her secret identity, dooming Paris along with her normal life and fail her partner.
"Leave her alone!" Adrien bellowed, finally getting his legs to move and formed a human wall between the akuma and Marinette, arms spread wide. Nino and Alya yelled in agreement, forming the wall with him to protect their girl. "Why did you shoot her when she's the one who helped you back up? I thought you'd go for Chloe first!" The emerald eyed boy made subtle gestures to Alya and Nino, indicating that they take Marinette away whilst he stalls Unprivatiser for some time. Unknowingly to them, he was risking his secret identity too and judging with how Plagg's claws were digging into his chest through the inner pocket, he doesn't have much time and he better not mess this up.
"That's the thing! Just because she helped me back up doesn't mean she didn't have any nasty thoughts running through her head. I want to know what she really was thinking when she supposedly helped me up. Did she think I was pitiful and gross? Did she think I was a tramp? It feels too good to be true for the school's sweetest girl in the world to help out a boy who pissed himself without any judgemental thinking, right?"
Suddenly, Marinette's will completely shattered and her mouth opened without consent.
"Oh my God, oh my God! If anyone finds out that I take bites out of Kit Kats, they'll have my head!"
The girl grasped her hands back towards her mouth, oblivious to everyone else's dumbstruck faces and internally begged her body to listen to her mind. Her hand and mouth seemed to think otherwise.
"I also like drinking ice cold water straight after brushing my teeth because the sting helps wake me up better than coffee!" Was the next thing Marinette blurted out. The only thing she could do was pace and her hands tugged on her twin tails. Nino and Alya exhaled in relief, thanking heaven for not ruining Mari's day.
"Hey- Le Papillon? What the hell is this?" The butterfly silhouette appeared over Unprivatiser's face, irritation pumping through his veins. Thus, a one-sided argument was heard and Adrien took the opportunity to usher his friends out of the danger zone. He kept his hands behind Marinette's shoulders and nodded towards the others to follow him so that they can hide elsewhere. Much to his dismay, Alya had her phone whipped out to livestream the villain whilst Nino slumped to his knees in hopelessness. Once his girlfriend makes a decision, she sticks to it, no matter what.
Shaking his head, he supposed that with them two out of the way, it would be easier to find a secluded place to transform. First, he needs to get Marinette to safety.
"We'll head to your bakery, how does that sound?" Adrien asked gently and squeezed her shoulders reassuringly as he sped them towards her home.
"N-N-No! Ack! Your father is supposed to be a fashion designer so what's with the revolting candy cane, white mocha frappuccino, whipped cream looking ass clothes he wears on a daily basis!?" The girl snapped her hands back against her mouth in horror, wishing for the ground to swallow her up.
"White...mocha...frappuccino...?"
That's it...
Forget about secret identities...
She's clearly going to be hated by Adrien forever, never get married with him and have their three kids and a hamster, also get blacklisted from every fashion industry in Europe and die ALONE-
"Pffft-" Her pitiful monologue within her chaotic mind was halted by an uncharacteristic snort from the blonde. That soon turned into laughter despite Adrien holding a fist against his lips. Before they knew it, he burst out laughing like no tomorrow, hooting against the wall and clutching his stomach. Tears streamed out of his eyes as he kept repeating what she said over and over again. Marinette didn't know whether to be embarrassed or savour this moment; it was the second time she's ever heard him laugh so freely ever since he gave her that umbrella in the rain.
"W-W-White mo-mocha frapp-frappuccino! Oh man! I can't unsee that now! Hahahah!" He collapsed on the floor, ignorant to any passerbyers' worried glances or mischievious expressions. "I can't believe it! Pffft!"
"If you keep laughing like that, you'll make the sun envy you because of how much you shine compared to it..." Her tone was soft and loving at first but Marinette quickly gritted her teeth to prevent herself from saying anymore. Damn akuma...damn Adrien and his beautiful laugh!
The boy appeared to be awestrucked from her words, clearing the laughter away from his system and butterflies erupted in his stomach. He lowered his eyes sweetly with a chortle, cupping one of her hands with his and beamed.
"Thank you, that's very sweet of you, Marinette," He didn't mind the way his heart richotated against his chest like it usually does around Ladybug. He's already had his freakout from his sudden discovery of his growing feelings for his shy classmate, months ago. Or perhaps they were there all along? He's not going to admit it out loud to avoid a smug, insufferable kwami though.
"Not as sweet as the three containers of sugar I devoured when I was five." The poor girl smacked her forehead and growled, cursing the akuma whilst it continued to argue with Le Papillon in the park. Adrien bit his lip to avoid laughing again. Though it was oh so tempting to tease her...
It wouldn't harm anyone, would it?
Just to let a bit of his Chat Noir side seep out?
"Is that so~?" He smirked. Marinette instantly grasped his game, a cute scowl took over her face as she took a step back. Adrien took a large step forward in retaliation. He should go and transform right now...but teasing Marinette is so fun! Surely Ladybug won't mind if he's late for a minute or two, considering how harmless the akuma is?
"When I first saw snow, I thought it was icing sugar and proceeded to try and eat it." Mari sucked her teeth in, walking backwards, trying to get away from the devious blonde.
"How adorable, do tell more," He followed her steps, arms behind his back. He didn't care that they were headed to some random direction instead of the safe destination he wanted Marinette to be at earlier on.
"Grrr- I freaked out when I visited a farm a couple of years ago because some chickens stole my crisps. They were roast chicken flavour and I thought they committed cannibalism!"
"Oho?"
"Turns out, they were only artificially flavoured."
"Thank God for that,"
"I wish God was nice to me for once and allowed me a day where I don't embarrass myself." She systematically glared at the sky before back at the snickering model.
"I wouldn't say that this is embarrassing,"
"Yeah you're right, not as embarrassing as when I accidentally called Monsieur. Damocles 'Papa' last week,"
"I think that's also very cute." Adrien's grin broadened when Marinette's back hit a lampost, leaving her no room to run now. The cat and mouse game has finally come to an end- an inside joke he sadly couldn't say out loud despite how fitting it was for the situation due to secret identities.
"Not as cute as that little baby with its parents over there, I hope one day my kids look as cute as them," Marinette was distracted by the family scurrying away from the park, a subtle smile rested on her lips. Adrien felt his heart skyrocket and let out an inaudible gasp. He leaned into her face, prompting her to flush and look away. She so was going to kill him after the akuma is purified.
"They definitely will be since their mother is so beautiful," Boldly, Adrien brushed his knuckles against her fringe, gazing into her with such strong intensity that Marinette could have sworn that she was looking at...
Chat Noir.
"You remind me of a certain feline who made himself home with half of my heart,"
Sapphire orbs and emerald orbs widened simultaneously with matching gasps, inducing the former to dash off with a squeal and bidding goodbye to any potential romantic chances she had with Adrien. After all, who on earth compares their best friend to their crush when he's flirting with you? Why was he flirting with a klutz like her in the first place?!
"You have terrible tastes in women!" Marinette cried out mournfully, not looking back to see Adrien's reaction.
If she did, she would have seen how his face took on a raspberry hue, one hand grasping his face and eyes still wide. His heart thundered and his body shook ever so slightly.
"Plagg...? Does that mean...she's still in love with Chat Noir?" The lazy God popped his head out of his safe pocket and narrowed his eyes with a smirk.
"Ooooh? What's with that face? I thought Princess was 'just a friend' to you, kid." This caused the blood to flare up in Adrien's cheeks again. He could feel the vibrations of Plagg's quiet laughter for goodness sake! Swallowing down his pride, Adrien shook his head.
"Don't tease me now...you're the first to point out my crazy crush on her anyways..." Plagg didn't get a chance to retort back as the sounds of the akuma yelling and the crowd scattering filled the air.
"Anyone who disagrees with the fact that mayonnaise and pizza is a Godly combination, deserves to face my wrath! Especially the pineapple-stans!"
"If I have to suffer with the fact that our intestines are basically eels in our body, so do you!"
"I can't break the habit of dipping my fries in my milkshakes..."
"My boss still hasn't realised that I'm the one who stole his donuts!"
"I feel like pissing on the moon."
"What is love~! Baby don't hurt me! Don't hurt me! No more~"
"I don't know whether to be horrified or amused with how similar Gabriel Agreste's hair looks compared to a duck's ass- oH SHIT HIS SON HEARD ME-"
Stifling another laughing fit, Adrien darted off to a remote alleyway to finally transform. Contrary to popular beliefs, everytime someone makes a dig or jab at his father, Adrien can't help but agree most of the time. There is no justification for such horrendous hair after all- and his daily clothing now that he thinks about it.
"Heheh...mocha frappuccino though Plagg..." His snickers started to build up, regardless to his kwami's groans. Thankfully, he composed himself in a matter of seconds and transformed.
~(x)~
"Long time no see, My Lady!" Chat Noir performed a perfect acrobatic flip, landing elegantly on his feet and grinned with his iconic cheshire smirk. It was wiped off after Unprivatiser dodged another one of Ladybug's yoyo swings whilst she tried to clamp her mouth shut with her free hand.
She leapt back so that she was by Noir's side, smiling painfully before smacking her hand back on her lips. Chat suddenly realised the severity of the issue, letting out a colourful swear for wasting time earlier on and was about to clasp his hands against her lips when her hands fell.
Ladybug CANNOT reveal her identity!
"It took you long enough you slowpoke! Any second later and I'd have blurted out how I fell asleep in my bowl of cereal this morning!" Well, too late for that. "Where were you? Busy flirting with other girls? Hmmph!"
It was literally killing the boy to not laugh right now.
"Just the one, Bugaboo~ You remind me of her a lot so I suppose I have a type?" Chat mused out loud, dodging the beams that Unprivatiser threw. Whilst the villain shrieked for their miraculouses, the black cat continued. "Jealous?" He twirled his baton to deflect more of the beams, in sync with Ladybug twirling her yoyo.
"I shouldn't be but I bloody I am," Just like that, Chat Noir's whole world came to a halt and Ladybug's pride was finally tattered to smithereens.
"W-What?"
"Don't make me say how you've already infected half of my heart with your stupid gooey kitty eyes and dumb affections and annoying power of turning my heart into a jackhammer every time you're near!" The blonde teen couldn't believe his ears.
"Holy shit..." He whispered softly. "This isn't real..."
Their distraction costed them dearly. The duo was instantly engulfed in the akuma's golden beam, the boy admonishing for the jewels once again and made his displeasure of their 'flirting' clear.
"Just hurry up and gimme! I have the most dumbest power ever and if I get those jewels, butterfly man will give me an upgrade so that I can finally teach Bourgeois a lesson!" Unprivatiser ignored the old villain's muttering of "It's Le Papillon you brat..." in his mind, getting ready to tackle the heroes.
"I'm already a bit of a stereotypical blonde dummy and I don't need your dumb powers to dumb me down even further! Though to be fair the amount of anime I have watched has stunted my view on social norms-" Chat spluttered out without control, close to slapping his hand against his lips by instinct. However, he processed his words and hummed. "This isn't too bad, right Lovebug?" He cheekily elbowed her side with a wink, heart fluttering from her sudden confession and mind still trying to process that.
"At least you didn't have to make a fool out of yourself in front of the two boys you love," She dragged them both away to another rooftop with the swing of her yoyo. She really wanted to just get rid of this akuma and run back home without a word but her mind was already combusting to the brim with unsaid words that desperately wanted to be spilled.
"You love me too?!" Chat almost lost his footing. "B-B-But I think I love the other girl too-"
"FANTASTIC! Perfect timing! The moment I lost my chance with the other dumbass and finally confess to you after so long-"
"That long!?"
"MISS WONDER GIRL decides to show up and now you're smitten with HER!"
"To be fair, I was crushing on her ever since I met her-"
"REMARKABLE! I really am destined to be alone! All cos I told him that he reminded me of you!"
"Wait- WHAT-" Chat Noir didn't get a chance to comprehend the puzzle he's accidently solved.
"JUST. GIVE. ME. YOUR. MIRACULOUSES!"
Unprivatiser shot himself against the building the heroes were standing on like a bullet, demolishing it into pieces. He was fast but they were much faster. Ladybug and Chat Noir landed on the barren street. Their bodies seem to be on attack mode but their minds were still in a huge mess.
"OhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGodOhMyGod-" Was all that Chat was able to muster, never letting his lovestruck eyes leave his Lady's form as she summoned her lucky charm. "I knew it, I called it, I KNEW THAT YOU'RE- wait...is that Lucky Charm..."
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"...White mocha frappuccino? Like Gabriel Agreste's ugly clothes?" Neither her nor Unprivatiser were able to exchange anymore words as Chat Noir abruptly collapsed into a puddle of guffaws and laughter. His fists slammed against the floor and he was unable to stop the words from spilling his mouth over and over again.
"Oh man...it was only ever one guy I made myself a fool of..." Ladybug sighed out, albeit fondly. She'll freak out later but for now, she's got a job to do.
"N-Now, now! I recall mentioning that it was cute a few time, Princess," Chat heaved himself off the floor, leaning against his Lady's shoulder for support so that he doesn't fall into another laughing fit again.
"...It's not fair that you've barely said any embarrassing things despite getting hit by the beam," Ladybug puffed a cheek out, tossing the frappuccino at the akuma's lower midriff when he tried to attack again, soaking him instantly.
"That's because I am the incarnate of embarrassment anyways. Plus, I always say what's on my mind regardless. Like that one time I asked what Pere and Mere were doing in the dark when I stumbled into their room- I think I was five? Maybe four-" He softly cataclysmed the cloak that Unprivatiser wore, replaced by ashes and a fluttering corrupted butterfly. The magic wore off and in place was a timid looking boy wearing the spare clothes that the school gave him after his accident.
"Weren't they hugging? That's what my parents always tell me every time I enter their room after hearing weird noises." She purified the butterfly and performed the miraculous cure.
"Oh my God...are you really that innocent?!" Chat only received a confused blink from her. A blush took over his face and his need to protect her increased by tenfolds.
~(x)~
The dynamic duo comforted the poor boy for a bit, giving him an extra confidence boost before leaping away as their final minutes beeped in their miraculouses. Naturally, Ladybug and Chat Noir chose a deserted classroom in their school as their destination, considering how lunch time was almost over.
A heavy silence was left in the air and the two couldn't help but look anywhere else but at each other's eyes. Their transformation crackled away in sync, leaving behind two astonished teenagers and their hungry companions (the kwamis dived into Marinette's purse to ensure that their charges had some privacy).
It was one thing to know.
It was another thing to see.
Marinette connected her two pointer fingers, looking down at them as her cheeks pinkened into a delightful sakura shade, tempting Adrien to kiss them. The boy in question had a hand itching the back of his head but couldn't help but let a silly smile grow on his lips. One look at his face had Marinette's follow suit.
They snickered at first, trying hard to stay composed but one more glance at each other caused them to break out into giggles. What an eventful day!
"I can't believe I got outed by a frappuccino- heh!" Adrien joyfully opened his arms, inviting Marinette to step into them so that he could wrap her in an embrace. The girl wrapped her arms around his waist, sighing happily into his chest.
"Don't know if it beats me getting outed by confessing that I confessed to you that I liked you...?" Her nose scrunched up charmingly. "That makes no sense."
"You rejected me, for me, I rejected you, for you but fell in love with you despite you and you fell in love with me despite me, yes, ten out of ten sense in the romance department." Marinette rolled her eyes at Adrien's dramaticness.
"All of this drama and heartache could have been resolved if it weren't for the identities, Chaton! Ugh!"
"Please...my brain hurts too much already from all of this."
"I want to go home and scream into my pillow, or devour every single pastry at the bakery...anything to keep my mouth busy,"
"Oh?"
Slowly, Marinette pulled away, only getting as far as a few centimeters away due to the way Adrien's arms locked itself around her body. He didn't seem to intend on letting her go anytime soon.
"You could..." She bit her lip, not missing the way his eyes flickered down there for a second. "Kiss me instead?" Adrien's eyes darkened at her request and brought his hands to cup her cheeks and tilt it upwards so that their eyes could meet.
He moved closer with a careful procision. He tilted his head at a perfect angle and his fingers dug into her dark tresses. Their foreheads were now touching, letting their hair entangle with one another and their chests were pressed against the other. Marinette let her eyes flutter shut the moment she felt his warm breath hit her lips whilst her heart was close to exploding in anticipation. Their lips brushed every so softly and then-
"You know, we still have to talk about your unlawful ways of eating a Kit Kat."
The moment was gone.
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~(x)~
A/N: It's almost five in the morning... I hope you're al . . . . . . .