*Taps internet* This thing still on?

As always, Cr00cy is the man. Thanks to Burkion and Demetrion for sanity checking me on this.

Written in the style of Steven Brust, one of my all time favorite authors.

Let's make a deal.

I'll tell you no lies and you won't judge me.

Sound good? Ok, let's try it.

I like pineapple pizza.

See, you're doing good! I feel the judgment a little bit, but you're holding back. Let's try another.

I belt out 'Mirror, Mirror' every morning in the shower.

Ok, you slipped a little on that one, but I'm not apologizing for shit. Here's the big one. You ready?

I think I hurt a lot of people today. Like...a lot a lot.

Yeah, that one is a bit harder to swallow.

It's important to me, and I'm not entirely sure why, that you understand why. That means telling you a story. So, buckle up, it's not like we're going anywhere.

Where to start? Oh!

Way back when, when I was just a kid on the streets, I used to steal. Well, I still steal, but it was more out of necessity then. Now it's about fucking with people. Anyway, you know who I loved to steal from the most? Big guys. Big guys think they're invincible. They walk around with this weird swagger, like they can't be touched, like the bad shit in the world is going to pass them by. But hey, it worked for me, so I didn't really give a fuck.

Is it ok if I cuss? Cause I'm gonna.

But this brings us to the beginning of our story, because Papa Arc?

He was, and is, a big motherfucker.

12-year-old me thought she was smooth as shit, sneaking up on this big-ass guy, his wallet hanging halfway out of his back pocket. He was in a jewelry store, one of my favorite hangouts, trying to buy something for his wife. I waited till he was talking to the owner, laughing that loud-ass booming laugh of his, and made my move. It was smooth, a simple slip and bump. Apologize to the guy, and be on your way with his wallet. Most guys, I was a few blocks away before they even realized something was missing.

But Papa Arc?

Not a normal guy. He rounded on me so fast it made my head spin. Snatched up my wrist, his wallet tightly gripped in my hand, and lifted my tiny ass up off the ground. I promised you that I wouldn't lie, so when that giant was staring straight through me with those piercing blue eyes? I started crying. It was not a pretty cry.

Hey, these aren't all going to be proud moments.

As it turned out, Papa Arc was a gigantic softie. You wanna know what he did? Asked me my name. I told him, between blubbering, 'Emerald.' He just shrugged, told the shop keep that he'd promised his wife that he'd bring her a jewel, and started dragging me out of the store. Remarkably corny, the men of the Arc household.

But Em, that sounds like kidnapping, you say.

Probably, but I wasn't really in the position to argue, you know? Papa Arc drug me all the way to the city of Mistral's airship docks, trying to tell me that I was going to be ok, that he was going to take care of me.

I was about 99% sure that I was about to get murdered.

I certainly wouldn't be the first kid that it'd happen to, and I wouldn't have been the last. So, you can imagine my surprise when I showed up at the Arc household, fully expecting to get sacrificed to this dude's weird god, and Mama Arc opened the door.

Let me tell you about Mama Arc for a minute. She is both beautiful and approachable, that's the best I can do to describe it. I have no idea how she pulls it off. She smiled at me, said something that actually calmed me down, a feat at that moment, and I thought, 'maybe this guy is pretty normal after all.'

Then I got swarmed by his horde of blonde children. Mama Arc? She's a goddamn saint for bearing eight kids without straggling her husband. I love them all, but the one that sticks out the most?

Jaune.

Oh, that's not to say the Arc sisters aren't sweet. They taught me how to dress, how to do my hair, how to sing (kinda), and so much more. But Jaune?

Jaune is my best friend.

Jaune taught me to dance, how to camp - forest are bullshit by the way - covered for me when I got in trouble, would lie for me when I'd tell Papa Arc that the outfit that I left the house with was the one I was going to wear at the club.

Me? I taught Jaune all the best curse words, how to cheat at cards, showed him how to lift someone's wallet, you know, if he needed to. I may have gotten Jaune in trouble, but it was just to make him live a little. Hell, I was Jaune's first kiss.

Hey, we talked about this no judgement thing, don't make it weird.

Jaune made me feel normal. Made me feel like I belonged. I can never repay the Arc family, and I certainly can't repay him.

This is a lot of setup to say, when your best friend, the thing that you value most in this world, turns to you and says-

"Em, I'm going to Beacon. I'm taking Crocea Mors."

The first thing you do is feel a little bit of pride in your heart at the thought of him stealing something. Hey, I didn't say it was a good thing. The second is ask-

"When do we leave?"

Well, I'm back folks. Going to be trying my hand at first person, so we'll see how this shakes out.

I tried to come up with a grand plan of how I was going to put this out, but...life. Turns out I work better with a deadline.

Chapter One is next week, then it should be one every two weeks after that.