Rating: PG-13
Pairing/s: none
Character/s: Merlin, Arthur
Warnings: none
Camelot Drabble Prompt: #383: hocus pocus
Author's Notes: none
Disclaimer: I do not own the BBC version of Merlin; It and Shine do. I am very respectfully borrowing them with no intent to profit. No money has changed hands. No copyright infringement is intended.

"Did you think I'd let you get away with this?" Arthur was furious, his face scowling hate. "Did you think your hocus pocus nonsense, the glowing butterflies, the dragons made of fire, the way my dinner came dancing into my room would placate me? Would make me laugh?" Standing there, his fist tight on the pommel of his sword, it was clear Arthur wasn't having it. "Did you think I was such a fool? Did you? Answer me!"

Merlin closed his eyes a moment, trying to fight back tears. They'd had fights before, but since Merlin revealed who he was, Arthur's temper had been on a knife's-edge. He'd promised not to execute Merlin because of all the things he'd done for Arthur in the past, but banishment was still a distinct possibility.

Thinking that a few examples of light-hearted magic might soften Arthur's fury, might bridge the chasm between them, Merlin decorated Arthur's quarters with the most innocuous of magic. The butterflies were pretty, his mum always liked when Merlin created them, and dancing dishes made her laugh.

But not Arthur. Arthur hated magic, hated everything to do with sorcery, and apparently hated Merlin, too.

When Merlin opened his eyes again, Arthur had drawn his sword, was pointing it at Merlin. "I thought that you understood your place here. That in order to remain, you had to forgo ever using magic again. As Gaius had when my father demanded it of him." Taking one step forward, his sword unwavering, Arthur said, "Are you forsworn then?"

Merlin took a step back, bumping into the table behind him. His voice rising in anger, Merlin said, "I never promised you that. You said that I couldn't, but I never agreed. I never will. How can I protect you if you won't let me?"

Arthur's eyes were cold as ice, his face stony with contempt. "I don't need your protection."

Wanting to laugh at the absurdity of it all, but knowing that Arthur wouldn't take it well, instead Merlin said, "You've needed my protection from the day I arrived. To deny it is… you utter clotpole, I've saved your life more times than I can count."

"And that's the only reason you're not dead."

It was like a dagger to his heart. Merlin had always hoped that Arthur would understand, that when his father died and he became king, he'd see the good in magic, that not everyone was ready to betray Arthur.

But Merlin knew now that he'd spoken too soon, or maybe too late. Arthur was still reeling from the knowledge that magic had killed his father as surely as it had killed his mother, that magic had taken Morgana from him, that everyone Arthur trusted turned out to be a liar.

Like Merlin.

"I won't stop using my magic, Arthur. I can't. You'll die and it would be my fault if I did." Merlin reached for Arthur, a wordless plea for understanding. "I use it only for you."

"I don't want it." Arthur sounded as if he'd reached his limit, his voice flat and final. "If you use magic again, I will kill you where you stand. I won't have magic in my kingdom, especially not from you." The sword was up again, pointing straight at Merlin. "Do you understand me?"

He couldn't seem to breathe a moment. Then, letting out the last of his hope, Merlin said, "Yes, I understand perfectly."

Arthur stabbed the floor with his sword. Normally Merlin would have objected, knowing he'd have to repair it, resharpen it, imbed it again with protective magic.

Now, he was done. Now he knew that Arthur would never accept him, would never see the love which was still beating in Merlin's foolish heart, would never really know Merlin at all.

"I've been unwise in my choices. I know better now." Merlin's eyes were filling again, but he refused to let Arthur see him cry. "If my lord will allow it, I will see that another meal is brought up for your Majesty's pleasure. The last meal was unforgivably tainted. It won't happen again."

"See that it doesn't." Arthur just stood there a moment, probably trying to figure out if Merlin was mocking him or insulting his honor. When Merlin didn't move, just bowed his head like the good little bootlicker he wasn't, Arthur grunted, then said, "Don't bring the food yourself. Have one of the other servants do it. I will send for you when I've decided your punishment for today's missteps."

"Of course, my lord." Merlin was trembling with the effort to keep from begging Arthur to change his mind, but he knew it would do no good. "It won't happen again."

"You are dismissed." With that, Arthur threw his sword on the table, filling the room with the sound of steel and wood and finality.

Merlin side-stepped him, walking slowly, carefully toward the door, waiting to hear anything that sounded like forgiveness, hoping against hope for a reprieve, but Arthur just stood there, watching him leave.

Finally, as Merlin was about to close the door behind him and escape into the hallway and beyond, Arthur said, "I can't let magic destroy Camelot, not even for you. This way, you can stay here, be by my side. I don't want to lose you to magic and have you turn into a mad dog as so many others have done." He gave a little sigh. "It's for your own good, Merlin."

Merlin didn't reply, just nodded and escaped into the hallway. Knowing that those words be the last he'd ever hear from Arthur just about killed him. But there was nothing else to be done.

Instead, he leaned against the wall, trying to breathe, gulping back sobs as he thought about what he'd have to pack and how to escape without being followed, about having to say good-bye to Gaius, but mostly, about leaving his heart behind and learning to live without Arthur.

He wasn't sure he'd survive that last bit, but he was sure going to try.

Because living without magic wasn't an option. He was done being a shadow, done hiding who and what he was.

And if the clotpole didn't understand that, then to hell with him.