Disclaimer: I do not own any of the Saiyuki characters. They honorably belong to Minekura Sensei. Please don't sue me.

***********************

Ayie: The idea to write this fic occurred to me while I was listening to Westlife's CD and the songs Season in the Sun and Soledad really got into me… warning this is an angst fic…don't kill me for the extreme anguish of the characters.

Sanzo: Nani??!! You mean I spent the last couple of hours searching for the lyrics from the Internet so that you could write an angst fic…Whacked Ayie's head with a cushion

Hakkai: Since ayie-san is so busy dodging Sanzo's whack of wisdom…I would like to finish ayie's reminder… minna-san, if you want to put the right mood while reading this fic, please imagine the songs as the background as you picture the fic to alive…O_^

***************************

Season in the Sun

Goodbye to you my trusted friend
we've known each other since we
were nine or ten
together we've climbed hills and trees
learned of love and abcs
skinned our hearts and
skinned our knees
*******************************

I took a deep breath and looked at the three figures sitting beside me. They looked down at me with a wretched and concern looks that I never really liked, even now. I wished they would smile…just for once, at least in this critical moment. The moment where I wished that I could open my mouth and tell them how much I loved them. But no matter how hard I tried, no matter how hard I struggled, no voice would come out.

I turned my head to the kappa… he's begging me to survive. 'What was that in your eyes?' Now this is the first time I saw the tears in his crimson red eyes. 'Why all the tears? I don't like that'. The tears don't suit him…I don't like it. 'Onegai…Yameru kudasai'. I want to reach my hand and sweep the tears away but it won't move a bit. I flinched, not because of the pain in my head, but of the pain in my heart.

He's a kappa, he is…but he's also a big brother to me. The bickering, the fights, the arguments… I wish I can stand up and call him ero kappa, at least for one last time… But no, I can't as the pain was holding me back to the bed. My hands itched, if only I can get my fist on that kappa's head… 'You have stopped calling me saru…why was that?'. You know how much I hated being called saru, but you insisted on calling me by that name. I have a name and my name is Son Goku… now, you've called me Goku …. Goku…. Goku… it may sound weird but I really missed you calling me saru. The word 'saru' made me feel closer to you… I don't want to call you Gojyo… I prefer the word kappa than Gojyo. You never like it when I called you kappa, but I used that word to replace the word o-nii-chan, which would probably caused you to get a heart attack. I always wanted to called you o-nii-chan but I know you'll die of it… So I just replace it with a word that I knew I'd get an instant respond if I called you by it. And I was right, you never failed to poke my head or give me a punch on the head when I called you kappa.

You fought a lot with me… 'I was just a kid, why won't you let me won over the food?'. But I'll never like it anyway. No way I can survive a day without fighting you… And now I don't know if I would survive the day since I was in no condition of fighting nails and teeth with you. Right now, I could only looked at you with eyes half opened and touched you with limp hands that weren't able to move even a finger.

The pain strikes again. I closed my eyes tight to shove it away, but…no…it wouldn't go away. It was hard to breath…in fact the breathing task is killing me slowly. There is a slicing pain in my chest every time my lungs pumped out air and it is no different when it pumped in. I felt like my heart being sliced bit by bit by the pain… 'Please make it stop!'. Unwillingly, soft moans escaped from my lips… I swerved to the right and then to the left…

A hand touched me at my hair… the fingers ran through it. I open my eyes. A dark haired man looked down to me as he reached a hand and swept the sweat on my face. He smiled but the smile was a pretender. I tried to smile but damn it… the pain wouldn't allow me even to curl my lips. I want to laugh, I want to giggle, I want to chuckle, I want to whine, and I want to let them know that I'll be fine. I felt a hot liquid streamed down my cheeks. 'What was that…? Please don't make me cry… it will only saddened the three men near me'. We've being through a lot of things together, and I don't want them to see me crying… when all the while they knew me for my genki self. 'Onegai……'. The tears ran down fluently and it doesn't want to stop.

**********************

Goodbye my friend it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing
in the sky
now that the spring is in the air
pretty girls are everywhere
think of me and I'll be there

***********************

I don't want to leave you guys… not when the day was so bright, not when the birds were chirping on the green leaves trees, not when the wind blew swiftly, not when the sky was so blue, not on this first day in the spring when all the beings came to life. Why I had to leave and why do I have to die on this very day… Please give me just one more day…to at least enjoy this first day of the spring with you, minna-san.

But I know my hope was a dream that I could never realized. I heard you guys talked and I heard that I would not last until noon. I learned that you had tried taking my diadem off so that the beast in me would emerge and gave me the power to heal the wound and the poison with its inhuman ability to heal. The attempt failed as the beast itself lied motionless and numb. Only then you guys realized that even the beast could not do anything. You put the diadem back on me, saying that if I were to die, let me die as the Goku you'd known before.

'Kappa…why are you still crying, you always said that you prefer being with pretty girls that staying with me…go and hog some pretty girls but don't let me see the tears in your eyes'. Why is he wasting those salty droplets on me? I hated that.

***************************

We had joy we had fun we had
seasons in the sun
but the hills that we climbed were
just seasons out of time

***************************

Yes…we had fun and we had joy. I've forgotten the lonely moments during my imprisonment at Mount Gogyo when you guys came into my life. Those lonely years in the stone prison remain as nightmares when I was with you. Sometime I do feel lonely even when I'm with you, especially when it's raining. 'What's with the rain that makes you guys being so quiet and so moody?'. You guys never tell me why… no matter how hard I urged you but you never tell me why…but may be I'm the one that never tried to understand. 

My sun… you hurt my heart and made me ran away from you guys when I tried to shower my concern upon you. You don't know how sad I am… not because you yelled at me or you kicked my offerings away… but it's because you won't let me show how much I cared about you…like the way you cared for me. You never showed you cared but I knew you are. 'Would you once again take my hand and take me with you if one day… after I'm gone… you found me being jailed far away from humanity? Would you once again held out your hand and let me take it in mine? Would you once again bring me out from loneliness and give freedom and love? Just the way you did eight years ago?' Please do so… because I'll be waiting for that moment.

'Hakkai…why don't I see you smiling today?' No matter what happened, that smile of yours never faded away. But why today I don't see it on your face. Was it because of me? Please…smile once, for me…for one last time? Among the rest, only you who showed how much you cared… you never let me wonder if you ever cared for me and loved me, you never let me wonder like the others did. You treat me as if I was your own. What I loved the most about you is that you never failed to feed me when I'm hungry… but the truth is, I loved you more than because you feed me. 'Ah! I would miss your cooking…'

The pain slammed me by the chest. A sudden scream slipped through my mouth. I never intended to do that… that just came out without me allowing it. 'Gomen minna-san'. You guys cried with me… calling out my name and shouting at me to fight it. God knows how hard I tried, but no… I couldn't. I was tired all over and my body ached. I'm tired of fighting but then I don't want to leave you… but I'm really tired, I'm really am.

*************************

Goodbye papa please pray for me
I was the black sheep of the family
you tried to teach me right from wrong
too much wine and too much song
wonder how I got along
Goodbye papa it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in the sky
now that the spring is in the air
little children everywhere
when you see them I'll be there
******************************

I know never was a good friend or a good kid… I make everyone mad at me…especially Sanzo and that kappa. I never survive the day without bumps and bruises all over my body and my head…thanks to the harisen and the kappa's fist. But now… I don't get any of that for one whole day… 'I guess I behave well today…na Sanzo?'. Those whacking and bobbing on my heads throughout the entire journey… like hundred times a day… really made my head hurts… I never thought or dreamed that someday I'll miss the whacks. But I guess the day had come… today was the day.

I'm the one who always give you guys the biggest trouble… even right now I'm doing it. I'm sorry…tears keep streaming on my cheek, soaking the pillow beneath my still head. A warm hand landed on my cheek and wiped the tears away, even that could not stop the tears. 'Please God… don't let me cry no more, I don't want to make them worried'.

Again, a soft painful moan escaped from beneath my breath. I opened my eyes and saw a bright figure stood before me… the sun, Sanzo. The sight of my guardian makes me burst out crying…like crazy. He caught me by the shoulder and brought me in his arms. I felt his head landed beside mine, soft sob escaped from his mouth. I tried and reached out one hand… and tried to put it on his head… hopeless. The damn hand just wouldn't move. I cried even louder, disappointed at my own disability to at least just stirred and face him right on the face. I heard him hushing me… or may be he's hushing himself.

I looked at the other two figures. 'Hakkai, Gojyo, please make him stop. Don't let him cry'. But the voice was blocked inside my throat. 'Pleasee… why don't you listen to me Sanzo? You said once that you heard voices… couldn't you hear mine right now?'. Suddenly, your cries stopped. 'You did hear me don't you?' He lifted his head and landed a kiss on my forehead. I heard you said that we would always be together no matter what. 'Does that mean you'll search for me again someday… if we were to live again?'

*****************************

Goodbye Michelle my little one
you gave me love and helped
me find the sun
and every time that I was down
you would always come around
and get my feet back on
the ground

Goodbye Michelle it's hard to die
when all the birds are singing in
the sky
now that the spring is in the air
with the flowers everywhere
I wish that we could both be there
******************************

You guys lit up my life and made me live once again. Arigatou, minna. You guys gave me love and you brightened up my dull and lonely life. There's no more I want to ask for as I already got everything from you… but now, I'm asking for the last time that you guys would never die with me… don't grieve upon me… don't cry when I'm dead, because I could not bear to see your tears and your sorrow. Just swear on me that you will live for me… you'll continue the journey even without me being with you.

I'm satisfied for what I've got but I really want to do something before I die… I wanted to tell you guys how much I loved you and how much I treasured you. You guys are my most valuable treasures.

'Minna, where are you?' Why can I see them anymore? The world around me turned black and empty. 'Minna, where are you?'. I cried and cried and cried but no one answered me. Where I am…? I had move and I can talk again, but why are you guys not with me? Where am I?

"Goku" someone's calling me and the voice belongs to Sanzo. I turned around but I found out that he's not the Sanzo I knew. This Sanzo had different hair cut. His hair was long and he's wearing a purple suit that looked like a gown. Another man appeared beside him, a man with glasses who bear much resemblance to Hakkai except that he had a much longer hair and instead of wearing a green suit, he wore long white jacket. But the smile was the same as the one I had known for so long. Then another man appeared. The red haired man looked like Gojyo but his hair was short and he got no antennas like Gojyo did. The man was wearing a black leather jacket and he smirked at me.

"Goku, come here… you'll stay with us from now on" the blonde man opened his arms wide for me. I don't know what drive me but I dashed happily into his arms and hugged him tight. "Look at them… for one last time" the dark haired man said.

I looked down and found Sanzo, Hakkai and Gojyo crying over my lifeless body. My eyes turned dreary. Can I just go back to at least wish them goodbye? I looked at the blonde man. The man shook his head. "I really want to send you back there… but I couldn't, it's being decided". I looked back at the crying bishounens and wept with them.

'Goodbye now… don't be sad, for I'll always be in your heart…' I sunk my face onto the blonde's chest and cried helplessly. 'Sayonara minna' I moaned softly as the three strangers took me away with them, leaving the weeping men below.

"Sanzo, look for me" I screamed out loud. "I'll be waiting for you!!!" I could see Sanzo, my sun lifted his head and looked around, as if searching for something. Then he nodded. I smiled. 'He heard me'.

**************************

We had joy we had fun we had
seasons in the sun
but the hills that we climbed were
just seasons out of time

We had joy we had fun we had
seasons in the sun
but the wine and the song like the
seasons have all gone

~owari~

*****************************

Ayie: How's that… don't be mad at me… There another chapter…the last. I want to narrate the other's feelings after Goku had left.

Sanzo: Omae wo baka…!!!! How dare you make Goku died..Shi-ne!

Ayie: Oi oi! If he's dead then who's that tugging at your sleeve? pointed at Goku

Goku: o__o"

Sanzo: Ch! I guess I got a little carried away.

Hakkai: This is just a fic naa Sanzo…don't get too emotional.

Gojyo: and released ayie at instant… you're killing her.

Sanzo: realized that he's strangling ayie to death Gomen…released her immediately