Foreword

I wanted to try writing using a first-person point of view exclusively. I also am a fan of horror and mystery works and wanted to try and write some myself. I figure Oregairu would be a good choice regarding what setting I should pick for both first-person point of view and horror. So here we are.

Please tell me what you think of the story in a review. They are always a great help!

Now without any more delay, let us now head into the story.

Yukinoshita's hobby

I felt my heart beat faster as I stared at the clock as the long hand ticked every passing second without any pause. I felt cold even though the air conditioning has been set to low. I grew anxious waiting for the person that I was sure was about to arrive.

Then as if on cue I heard the electric doorbell ring with a buzz signalling that the person whom I was waiting for eager and more so nervously had arrive.

Standing up from where I was sitting which was the sofa in our living room, I walked up to door feeling the weight beneath my feet grow heavier and heavier as I neared it. With my right hand I reached for the doorknob grabbing it quite firmly. Yet I didn't turn it.

I questioned myself.

Should I turn it?

Should I open the door?

Should I let the person from the other side of the door enter in?

It might seem a bit odd for me to wonder such things considering I know the person on the other side of the door will never mean any harm to me.

Why do I know?

Because I know the person currently at the other side of this door I'm staring blankly at. I could call her a friend. Yes. We're close enough for that. Though I wasn't the one who made friends with her first.

It was my brother.

Despite the cold and distant persona my brother had always worn outside, he had managed to befriend a number of people. It was quite a surprised to me honestly. I'd always thought he was good enough deep inside for him to gain a friend or two. but I never imagined he would have befriended a lot of people of his age. And even though they denied it, I could always tell from their looks and gestures alone that some of them had developed affection for my brother.

Yes.

They liked him.

Loved him even.

A real good shock for me. Though I always felt that if he had shown his genuine feelings that he had locked away someone would go out of their way and fall for him.

I was happy for him.

Really.

But it seems I made a mistake.

I was pulled out from my thoughts as I heard the doorbell ring once again. Breaking away from my trance, I took a deep breath and turned the knob to open the door.

"Yahallo."

That was the greeting the person welcomed me with.

The person was a pretty girl about the same age as my older brother. If one were to describe her appearance it would be characterized as 'cute' or 'adorable'. Her hair had been styled in a loose side bun and her peach-reddish eyes were big and cute. Her most noticeable feature was her generously-sized chest.

"Yahallo, Yui-san." I greeted back.

I knew the exact reason as to why she had paid me a visit. She wanted to talk about something. To ask me about something. Or to be more precise; to ask me about someone. Thinking about that 'someone' weighed heavy in my chest and made me feel lightheaded as if I was about to pass out.

Yui-san was currently in my room. I guided her there and made her wait there as I went to the kitchen downstairs in order to make tea. Our parents had always told us to be very hospitable to guest. So this was a must. I mean even my older brother was quite hospitable to the rare guests that visit him.

Standing on a short chair I opened the kitchen cabinets hanging from the wall to search for some snacks. There were numerous snacks contained within the cabinets that ranged from chips to candies. Searching for something I would like as well as Yui-san, I grabbed the pack of cookies and closed the cabinet. I organized everything on top of a silverware tray.

With the silverware tray in my hands I walked up the stairs to my room carefully balancing the contents on the tray in order not to spill them.

Expecting that I would be returning with a tray, I had left the door to my room open in order to not have any troubles opening it while I carried the tray of tea and snacks. With steps that I did my best to silence, I approached the door and took a peek through the gap. There I saw Yui-san sitting properly and staring right at her phone.

It would've look normal to any other person, but not for me.

I've noticed that while she did appear to be looking at her phone browsing whatever data she had in there, her eyes looked too dull and empty to imply she was looking at anything that she found interesting. Yes. She wasn't looking at anything. She was just staring blankly at the screen as her hands didn't move an inch.

Before I made any gesture to open the door, I glanced all over my room to see if anything has been changed. Maybe she had been searching though my stuff while I was away? No. Yui-san isn't like that. With one final glance towards my closet, I finally decided to open the door.

As I opened the door using my foot to swing it gently open, Yui-san jumped slightly and her eyes reverted to that of their previous color. She looked at me with her usual smile as I gently placed the tray on top of the small table I had at the middle of my room.

"Thank you, Komachi." Yui said. "Sorry to be a bother."

"It's fine, Yui-san." I replied.

I served her a cup of the tea I've prepared and she accepted it with another thanks. She took a sip from it as I also took a sip from mine. We were both in complete silence as we drank our tea.

Silence.

We were trying to get a guess of what the other is feeling. I sense her anxiousness. Her curiosity. And she seemed to had sensed mine.

"Komachi." Yui said finally breaking the silence between us. "You know why I'm here correct?"

I merely nodded in reply.

"I know you've learned something." She continued. "I can feel it. I've gotten quite good at reading the atmosphere during my stay in the Service Club."

"I know."

"You've changed ever since." Yui commented as she showed me a sad smile. "But recently, there had been more drastic change to you."

I didn't any reply in any word nor action and merely let her continue with my silence.

"Did you..." Yui started to look all anxious and a bit restless as if unable to contain herself. "-find something out about Hikki?"

There it is.

I knew.

She was indeed right. Her attention to changes had always been good. It was inevitable for her to see something within me. I really couldn't do anything about it. I tried to hide it as best as I could. Know one should know.

No one should know about that.

I didn't want anyone to notice.

Why did you notice Yui-san?

Why?

I'm scared.

"Please tell me anything..." She pleaded. "-anything at all regarding the disappearance of Hikigaya Hachiman!"

During the mid-point in their last year in high school at Sobu. My older brother, Hikigaya Hachiman went missing. In my despair I pleaded to everyone to tell us anything they knew or had saw regarding the last moments when my older brother was seen. The stories had always been the same. The last time some students saw him was him leaving by himself after attending their Service Club. Yui-san was absent on that day so she wasn't present. Only my brother and Yukinoshita were present. The witnesses say that my brother left by himself first then Yukino-san had left several minutes after.

I've asked Yukino-san if she had ever noticed anything strange regarding my older brother. But she had commented that he was the same as always. She looked like a wreck when I asked her. As if she was scared and nervous. I didn't blame her. I knew just how much affection she had for my brother.

Despite his dead-fish eyes and cold outlook on life. he was really a player huh?

My parents did try their best in asking the police to magnify the scale of their search and investigation. However, even if were pleading with our outmost care, the police had always stated that they couldn't find anything substantial at all.

It was crap.

All of it was.

Why couldn't they do their damn job.

"Komachi?"

With her voice, I was brought back from my long line of thought. I looked at her in silence as I saw her stare right back at me as she tilted her head quite adorably.

Should I tell her?

Should I?

She's kind.

She's Yui-san.

I'm afraid.

Please.

Help me.

"Yui-san." I started no longer unable to stop myself as I felt the dread emanating from one corner of my room. "Have you learned of Yukino-san's new hobby?"

"Ah?" Yui-san then looked at me with slightly wide eyes caught unaware by the out-of-nowhere question. "You mean her drawings?"

"Yes." I nodded.

Help.

"What do you know about it, Yui-san?"

"Hmm I do know that she had taken the hobby of drawing as a way to relieve stress." Yui answered. "I believe she started when we were all dealing with the sudden disappearance of Hikki. I figured it was here way to relieve the pain."

I stared at her in silence.

Help.

I feel the dread.

Please.

"Her drawings were mostly about cats and cartoon characters. Her drawings before were really quite bad yet cute." Yui continued. "But she got better as she progressed through her hobby and got into realistic sketches."

"Have you seen anything in her drawing book that were different from others?" I asked her.

"Not really?"

Please.

Just leave.

"I haven't told you the story on how I discovered Yukino-san's drawings right?"

"Not yet."

The sun was was already on its way to set making the sky color in a tint of orange. I didn't feel anything at all as I went through my regular school day. At first my school days were all fun and colorful. With my older brother being here alongside his friends whom clearly held him dear, I knew my school life would be interesting with them around. But ever since his sudden disappearance, I've felt the school was nothing more than a prison. I felt so weighed down and chained up inside my classroom which felt like a personal holding cell for me.

My brother was still missing.

At first the entire school populations including all students and staffs looked all concerned and did their best to help us in our search for my brother. But after a while they all shed their enthusiasm and concern and reverted back to the way their normal lives worked. As if nothing wrong had ever happened.

As if my brother's disappearance was really nothing more than a temporary source of attention for them.

Even with the police's help, we couldn't find anything.

After class I would always head straight to the room where my brother's club had made their respective clubroom. I would find Yukino-san and Yui-san there talking with one another. While it was the usual scene of them, I didn't fail to notice the change between them. Their conversation wasn't as lively as before. Yui-san always looked anxious and worried. She was always concerned about my brother. Yukino-san on the other hand appeared to look the same as always. Yet I could tell the different glint in her eyes. I could feel her wariness.

One time when I was about to go home after a long school day, I accidentally bumped into Yukino-san as I exited the faculty room after being called. Due to the force of the bump, Yukino-san plopped down on the floor sitting with her belongings scattering from her bag.

"I'm so sorry, Yukino-san!" I apologized hurriedly.

"Think nothing of it, komachi-san." She waved her hands.

I saw her then hastily try to organize her scattered belongings and store them back inside her back. But her stuff was quite numerous, so I opted to help her. As I knelt in order to help Yukino-san with her stuff, I noticed a book or a notebook that had a blue cover. It was a sketch pad. I've learned her of her sudden hobby but never had the chance to see what her drawings were like. I reached over to it and swiftly opened it to see cute drawings of cats that ranged from cartoony to realistic. I smiled as I thought how adorable it was. Wanting to see more, I flipped through the pages in a hurry as I smiled at the adorable drawings before stopping my fingers dead cold at the sudden change in drawing.

What changed wasn't the style of drawing or anything.

What changed was the subject of the drawing.

Before it was cats or cartoon characters. But at the last pages of the sketch pad lies a well-detailed realistic sketch of my older brother.

A drawing of Hikigaya Hachiman.

As I flipped through more of the last pages, I noticed that all of the drawings were now about my brother. As the pages went on the details of the drawings got better and better.

Though the sketch of my brother was quite a surprise in of itself. What garnered my attention the most was the intricate details that Yukino-san had given to the drawings.

I looked up from the sketch pad and realised that Yukino-san was now staring at me in her complete silece all this long while. I've always thought her eyes were beautiful and they are. But there was something about her eyes that unnerved me as she continued to stare at me in silence.

"...Drawings of onii-chan?" I asked her finally breaking the silence.

As if broken out of a trance with my voice, Yukino-san blinked several times before nodding her head.

"Yes." She answered. "I-I...miss him so much."

I looked at her straight as she said those words and I saw the genuine expression of loneliness that was written all over her. Her lips were quivering slightly and her eyes looked lost.

"So you drew him to remember him?"

"...Yes."

Hearing such a thing from the usual cold Yukino had my chest feel all warm and nice. I've always knew she had a thing for my brother. So to hear her technically admit to holding affection for him was really nice and beautiful.

But I felt something different from her as I handed over the sketch pad.

Her eyes were locked on the sketch pad and her hands were trembling ever so slightly.

"Thank you."

"Do you need more of tea, Yui-san?" I asked her as I paused from my story.

Please say yes.

Say yes.

"No. I'm good." Yui replied with a shook of her head.

"Is that so?"

"So Yukino-chan was actually drawing Hikki?" Yui asked with a tint of glee and what I sense a bit of envy evident in her tone.

I knew that both Yukino-san and Yui-san liked my brother.

Then as she produced a fake cough, Yui-san smiled. "Please continue with the story."

There it is.

That familia dread from one corner of the room.

I want to stop.

Yui-san.

Leave.

Please.

It became a habit of mine to ask Yukino-san if I could see any new sketches she had of my older brother, I know it was weird, but whenever I saw the well-detailed sketches of my brother in her sketch pad, I felt really warm. It was as if I was looking at my older brother as if he was right in front of me.

One day after class had finished, I went straight to the Service Club room to hang out. Hanging out with both Yukino-san and Yui-san alleviated a hint of the pain I was still feeling every day because of my brother's disappearance. Despite more time had passed, nothing worth of value had been discovered.

"Yahallo."

I opened the door as I greeted. But I was welcomed by complete silence as there was nobody present in the room. I figured maybe both Yukino-san and Yui-san were absent. But as I stepped in the room, I saw a bag on the far end of the table. It was probably Yukino-san's bag. That was her spot after all.

Seeing her bag, I remembered all the sketches that I've seen from her.

Such sketches of my brother helped with the pain so much that I've become dependent on it. I got enamored by them. I wanted to see more and more of them.

I sat to one chair available in the room and waited patiently for Yukino-san. Her bag was here so it was obvious that she was present. Perhaps she went to the restroom or maybe Shizuka-sensei called her to the faculty room to talk to her? It was both plausible.

A few minute had passed yet it felt like hours to me. I fiddled with my phone as I waited but I found myself stealing glances every now and then towards Yukino-san's bag.

Her sketch pad should be there right?

I really shouldn't, but I can't help myself.

Before long I found myself slowly walk towards the bag, I stopped right in front of the table where the bag rested on top. As if I was metal and the bag had magnets inside, I couldn't help but continue with my actions.

Sorry Yukino-san.

I unzipped the bag and slowly rummaged through her neatl organized belongings. I stopped as I saw a familiar looking sketch pad tucked inside the bag. I reached towards it and grabbed it as I felt my heart beat faster.

Flipping it open I was welcomed with the sight of the drawings of some cartoon characters. I knew that this was her usual drawings and the ones I'm looking for were the drawings starting from the middle of the pages. So I flipped through the middle pages and saw what I wanted to see.

The sketches of my brother.

Seeing the sketches of him made me somewhat happy and relaxed. I felt excited as flipped through sketches after sketches. This was the first time I looked into Yukino-san's sketch pad on my own. Whenever I asked to see her sketches, Yukino-san would be the one to flipped through the pages as I looked as she never handed the sketch pad completely over to me. Then I remember that Yukino-san had never flipped through the last remaining pages of the sketch pag. She had always claimed it had no drawings and were merely blank sheets of paper.

As my curiosity got the better of me, I checked the pages just to be sure if she was indeed saying the truth.

"Yui-san." I called out to her as she blinked several times. It's already getting late. Shouldn't you be leaving now? I mean I don't want you to go home all alone at night."

It was the truth.

It was really getting quite late now.

So please leave, Yui-san.

Listen to me.

I thought you were good at reading the atmosphere!?

Read into me.

Please!

"Don't worry!" Yui-san replied offering me a small and troubled smile. "I can protect myself well enough."

No.

Don't say that.

I clenched my teeth as I felt the familiar dread from earlier starting to wash over me.

I can't.

Please.

"Komachi." Yui-san called. "Please continue. What did you see?"

To my sheer shock and bewilderment what welcomed me was more sketches of my brother.

It might seem really odd why I'm shocked to see more additional sketches of my brother. I mean, it's just the same sketches right? Sketches of my brother?

In a way that is correct.

But that wasn't the reason why I got shocked. In the last pages I flipped through I found more sketches of my brother in minute detail. The details were so well-defined that it looked like my brother was actually in the pages. Even the smallest details were so intricately drawn that it was as if I was staring at a photograph captured using a high resolution modern camera that professional photographers use.

As I flipped through the details on the sketches grew more and more well-defined. To the point where I started to become terrified. I felt my body tremble as the sketches on the paper got imprinted into my memory through my eyes. I ghosted a finger on the sketches and felt all the intricate strokes that Yukino-san had carefully made in order to make her sketches of my brother exceptional and one of a kind.

I grabbed the edge of the last sheet of paper of the sketch pad in order to close it and hide the sketch pad away before Yukino-san returned when I noticed something sticking out at the back of the cover of the sketch pad. With my trembling fingers I flipped the last page and saw something that horrified me to the point where my body started to violently tremble and teeth chatter.

Then I heard something that made my heart stop.

"Komachi. How is it?"

"Komachi!?" Yui-san called to me but I didn't give her any attention.

I felt my body tremble as I ended my story. My tears were now falling uncontrollably as I whimpered non-stop. I clenched my hands into fists so tight that I felt my nails dig into my palm painfully.

"I'm sorry!" I apologized. "I'm so sorry!"

I covered my face with my hands as I continued to sob.

I feel so guilty.

Why?

Why couldn't you just stay away?

Why can you be so perceptive one moment and so dull the next!?

Because of me..

Beacause of me you...

"Komachi!" Yui-san stood up and approached me grabbing my shoulder as she shook me. "What did you see!? What did you see at the back of Yukinon's sketch pad!? What was it!?"

I'm sorry.

I'm so sorry.

Yui-san, I'm so sorry!

Instead of giving her any reply in the form of my words, I reached into my pocket and pulled out and folded piece of glossy paper. Firmly grasping it with my shaking hand, I shoved it to Yui-san's hand and shoved her slowly away.

"Please leave now, Yui-san."

"B-but Komach?"

"Please leave!"

Seeing that I wasn't taking no for an answer, Yui-san bowed towards me and slowly left the room before taking one last glance at me.

"I'm sorry, Yui-san." I mumbled as she closed the door.

Why didn't I let you leave?

Why didn't I dragged you forcibly out of the room?

Why didn't I force you out?

Why did I let you enter this house?

I asked these questions to myself.

Yet I knew the answer.

I fell down to my knees as I continued to cry. As I heard the sound of shuffling, I felt the familiar dread from before now slowly passing through me and out the door.

"I'm sorry." I cried. "I really am."

As I stood outside just in front of the door to the Hikigaya household, I wonder on what had just happened to Komachi

Komachi looked so pain and terried as she had finished her story. Her face was ghost-white pale and her lips were quivering. Her body was violently trembling as her tears rolled down her cheeks from hers.

I actually felt guilty.

Why did I force her to continue with her story?

I really didn't think that she would react in such a way as she told her story.

I feel really bad now.

But I really wanted to know anything at all regarding Hikki's disappearance.

Somebody had to know something right!?

As I clenched my fist in frustration, I finally remembered the piece of paper Komachi had given me. Due to my clenching of my fist, the glossy paper was now crumpled. I unfolded it and realised it was a photograph. On the blank back of the photograph something was written.

'Yukinoshita's'

That was all.

It seemed to imply that the photo belonged to Yukinon. Then why did Komachi act so horrified and guilty as she handed this over to me?

My whole world had come crashing down on me as I flipped the photo in order to see what image was captured on it. My heart ached and my body grew completely cold. My knees started to shake as I felt the stength in my legs weaken. I started to breath heavy as I grabbed my chest that felt so tight now. My eyes were hot as my tears blurred my vision and rolled down my cheeks.

The image captured on the photograph was the answer to the mystery that we've been searching for.

It was the image of the person that had disappeared without any trace.

It was the image of Hikigaya Hachiman all tied up and gagged.

Then I heard a the door from behind me open. I turned around expecting to see Komachi when my heart stopped as I was welcomed by the sight of a beautiful girl with black hair and blue eyes of coldness and malice.

"Yui." She called out to me with a smile.