My name is Greg, but you can call me Gregory Heffley. I lived a simple life until they came. Allow me to explain. One day, I was in my room jerking off to pictures of Holly Hills when I heard the door slam open downstairs. Dad screamed upstairs: "RUN, THEY'RE HERE!". I had no idea what the fuck he was talking about, but I figured I should probably listen to him since he's not one for practical jokes, which I found out the hard way when he beat my ass for my April Fool's prank where I came into his coffee while he wasn't looking. I bolted downstairs and followed Dad outside to the car, where Mom, Rodrick, and Manfried were already waiting.

"Get your slow asses in here!" Manny screamed. I would give him his just desserts for that one later. We got in and I realized there were three black cars careening down the street towards us. At first I thought they were maybe cop cars, until the windows rolled down and bullets came spraying out. Mom, who was driving, pulled out of the driveway and floored it the other way down the street.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING?!" I screamed.

"Greg," Rodrick started, "we never told you because we thought you couldn't handle it, but… we're not like everyone else. We always knew we wouldn't be able to live a normal life forever."

"What are you talking about?" I said, confused and hurt that my family could have kept a life-threatening secret from me my whole life.

"We're-", his explanation was cut short when a bullet penetrated his skull, killing him instantly. I screamed and started crying. Everyone else stayed calm, looking sad but also like they knew something like this might happen. Then Manny whipped out an AK47 and sprayed bullets through the back windshield, shattering it. The front windshield of the car closest to us was obliterated and I saw the driver slump back, her chest a bloody pulp. Then I realized who it was…

"Patty Farrell?!" And guess who was next to her! It was Bryce Anderson! "What's going on?! Where are we going?!" I asked.

"To another town, where hopefully we can last another ten years or so before they figure out who we are," Dad said.

"And just who are we?!" I asked, getting pissed that nobody would tell me what the hell was going on. A bullet soared past my head and I jumped.

"We'll tell you once we get settled in elsewhere," Dad replied. Now I was starting to get angry.

"NO, GOD DAMNIT! I WANT TO KNOW RIGHT THE FUCK NOW WHY I'M BEING SHOT AT!"

Manny pointed his AK at me and said, "calm down or I'll put one between your eyes." That shut me up real fast. Then, all of a sudden, we hit a spike trap and the car flew off the road into a tree! My head hit the door so hard I was seeing stars. When I came out of it, I saw that the front end of the car was crushed, and so were Mom and Dad. Then the doors opened up and me and Manny got dragged out onto the street and blindfolded. Then we were thrown into another car and I felt us start to move.

"Just got a call from boss, we're under orders to keep these two alive," said a voice that sounded familiar but I couldn't immediately match a face to.

"Fuck," said a nasily voice that I did recognize as Fregley's, "I wanted to chop them up, heheheheheee!" I couldn't believe what was happening to me! Would I ever get to wreck a bunch of casuals in Fortnite again?

"Oh don't worry Fregley, they will serve a much greater purpose," said the first voice, which I now recognized as Vice Principal Roy's.

"HEHEHEHE!" said Fregley.

After about 15 minutes, the car stopped. They took our blindfolds off, and Vice Principal Roy grabbed me roughly and yanked me out of the car. We were in what looked to be an abandoned warehouse. I didn't put up a fight out of fear for my life, but Manny clearly had other ideas. He bit the hand of Tyson Sanders, who was dragging him. Tyson dropped that punk-ass piece of shit, who pulled a glock from his captor's belt and popped him three times in the chest. The five other people who were in this mysterious group attacking us, Roy included (meaning he had let me go!), all surrounded him. All of them were people I recognized from our town.

"You'll wish you hadn't done that," said Vice Principal Roy.

Then Manny whipped off his hoodie, revealing a bomb vest! He turned towards me and said, "Greg, don't trust anyone," before the bomb vest exploded, engulfing Manny and the group surrounding him in a burst of flames. I knew what I had to do then. I ran over and found the keys to the car from a charred corpse, and bolted to the driver's seat.

"Don't let him get away!" I heard Chirag Gupta's voice shout as I started the car and sped out of the warehouse. I still didn't know what was happening, or why apparently the whole town was after me and my family, but one thing was clear: I was on my own now.

Chapter 2 coming soon!