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The following is a fan-based

FICTION

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Star Wars Saga 1: I am alive and botty! (1)

I hate my life- Actually scratch that, I hate the sob that has put me in this shitty situation.

I think the term is ROB.

SOB or ROB, there is still some sunnuvabeach that got us in this poopy version of Frankestein.

It's not that bad. The B1 Droid is still mobile-

Compared to a cup of tea?

I can understand that part of this newfound bipolarism would be elated in having me uploaded in this walking tin can but seriously what are we supposed to do here with this shitty cannon fodders?

We could upgrade this in something badass!

We are not in a position to move. We still don't know where-

"This piece of crap sure better fit the bill with our dear investors, I sure don't want to get killed by that crazy man and his hocus pocus."

Darkness slowly made way to some enlightening vision as I finally got a glimpse of what was going on.

I was in... some sort of almost closed container, set right in the middle of the second row of droids closest to the entrance.

I was staring at two ugly Geonosians exchanging some words that quite fell in the profane section of the vocabulary.

We have some language package? That is... strange.

You mean to tell me you didn't notice we still keep our memories? I thought 'that' was something crazy but.. beggars can't be chosers!

I second Boldy, we got some edge and we will use to get out of there in one piece.

"You are just scared you are getting discovered with Annette keeping you warm when you are supposed to be at work, you crazy bastard."

The two idiots were quite annoying to watch and I was thankful I had yet to learn how to move because I would have seriously groaned at the scene in front of me.

"Well, we should wrap up this scraps and get to work with the others."

..Are they going to close us here?!

HELL NOPE!

My brain ached as I tried to find the moving commands and then I...

Smiled?

I don't think we can.. smile in this body.

Oh my God, we are going to be boring without a mouth! This cannot be tolerated! THIS IS UNACCEPTABLE!

Driven by pure hatred against the deity or piece of garbage that had put me there to suffer, I jumped forward and started to work the surprised workers.

They weren't certainly expecting to see a little B1 going Gung-ho at them and surely were not expecting it smashing its fists in both's chins.

Pain and surprise, what a pleasant combo for those who are not suffering both.

One tried to push me away in the container and I would have grinned if I had a mouth as I backed away just enough to ready up another beautiful punch.

The delightful crunching sound that followed as the simplistic hand met the disgusting face of the Geonosian was enough to pump me up for a murder spree!

I... I suspect we lost him.

It was cool until you went bat-shit crazy, man.

I ignored the voices, I mean if I was crazy I would listen to them... RIGHT!?

The trembling meat waste trembled and stumbled while trying to retreat from me, a futile attempt that only delayed his death so little and that annoyed me to the gear.

"P-Please! I-I-I have-GUH!" I stomped once the ugly face, irked by pathetic spiel delivered in such pitch of tone.

I squished the insect-like face further until it fully cracked under the pressure, green blood starting to stain my little steel feet. I wonder how annoying it will be to remove from the foot.

...You alright now?

Almost there... just the need to... yes!

I crouched right where I spotted what I needed, a small keycard within the deceased squishy-head I just unalived.

-Authorization Level: 4-

First Star Wars, now we have to pull a Metal Gear Solid with those Keycards.

Maybe we could just escape with this. I don't think we need much to survive.

In a normal situation I would agree but... We need much more if we want to even have a chance of survival in the upcoming war.

Yep and I think we can start by that juicy box filled to the brim with blasters.

Wait! I didn't notice that bit!

STOP ENABLING HIM! We are already having a difficult job trying to not descend to this psychopath's level.

Actually the term 'Sociopath' fills the bill best but... your loss.

How is this my loss? What are you talking about?

"I dunno my little voice." I scoffed at the meek voice I had, soothing my inner boredom and annoyance by admiring the E-5 Blaster I had picked and the fuckton of ammo I just stole from the box right beside the blasters' one. "But boy, we are going to have some nifty fun in this brave new... megaverse?"

And how do you plan to start this.. adventure?

"By changing body, you silly goose!" I slammed the keycard on the ID scanner right in the center of the door. "We cannot live with this B1 garbage."

Aye, we going to get something cooler!

I despise both of you...

The door opened and I stared at another Geonosian, the insect-like bastard's eyes widening at the unexpected sight.

"Wha-" The simple word was interrupted the mere moment the trigger was pressed and the red laser burned instantly the ugly face. Its body fell on the floor and I didn't linger further as I had to reach... some security room in this mad-long corridor that led to several rooms.

I paused mid-step as I had made my mind that this would have been a difficult task, the curious tone of an unfamiliar song reaching my hearing receptors urging me to stop to see the cause of the disturbance.

Seriously!?

My head slowly turned right to the third door to the right from where I had just come from, the lights of several monitors being perfectly visible just like the closed-eyed geonosian sleeping in the chair in front of them.

I... I had expected much more.

While I don't think we are not talking about the same kind of 'more', I do concur this is quite disappointing.

I... I don't know anymore.

I slipped inside the room and closed the door behind me, my blaster aimed at the guard's head and exploding it like the previous idiot.

"And now..." I pulled away the corpse out of the chair, sitting there myself. "Let's see what I should do here..."

Encrypted Message!
FROM: SecurityUnit1546
TO: Foreman Wat Tambor

SUBJECT: Anomaly Floor 15 Facility 548 - Origin: Unknown

We should be getting out of there, not going to the lower floors!

There is quite the reward if we for this little deviation from our escape path, one that will help us in the long-term plans of winning this stuff.

The elevator ride was going smoothly as we descended further in the intricate factory of... doom?

We need to work with that shitty vocabulary of yours-

*WAAAAAAAAARGH!*

The sound at first scared me, then the red lights and the the noise being repeated reminded me what it actually was.

Stealth is no more a viable option.

Gun ablazing as we show our steely determination!

The elevator stopped as I had reached the floor where my soon-to-be body was.

The massive doors slammed open to reveal...

A little group of six B1s and two B2s.

I chuckled.

I like those odds!

AN

The story reaches FF too! MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

BTW, the length of the chapters is bound to increase after this one. So... hit me with some comments, will ya!?