Author's note: Written on fumes, as I have done everything these past months. I realized I never had a story where Lincoln gets picked on, so I thought... screw it, I'll do something. Anything at this point for me is better than nothing. Just a warning, there's some unpleasant visuals in here. Originally posted on my pastebin on 11/20/19.
On a fairly warm Sunday morning, Lincoln woke up and started getting ready to face the world.
As he swapped his pajamas out for his gym shorts, he looked at the clock, noticing the time. It was 8:30am, meaning that he had overslept.
"Drat, I bet there's hardly any breakfast left..." He thought, shaking his head. His dad cooked enough for everyone, but Lynn always took more than her fair share. Seriously, if she wasn't such a fitness fetishist, she'd look like an Ultrahand drawing!
Keeping that in mind, Lincoln hustled out of his room, figuring it would be best to get downstairs as soon as possible.
He immediately spotted Lynn idling by in the hall.
A strange tingle in his gut came about. It's almost as if she was waiting for him. Something didn't seem right...
Suspicions arising, he slowed his walking pace when he met the top of the stairs.
And so...
Without warning, Lynn pantsed Lincoln the moment he tried to descend.
The boy tripped over his shorts and underwear, causing him to tumble down the stairs.
He screamed as he rolled, feeling various sharp pains stabbing across his skinny, frail body.
Once landing at the bottom of steps, he swore he saw circling birdies. Cheep, cheep, faggot!
Lincoln composed himself, then complained. "What the heck, Lynn? Are you trying to kill me?!"
The sporty girl stood above him, snickering while holding something behind her back.
"Oh, you think that's funny?" Lincoln spat. "I swear you're just..."
A faint breeze brushed against his thighs.
He gasped.
Lynn spun his shorts and underwear on her finger.
"Hey, girls, get a load of this!" She shouted.
Her sisters, as if on cue, dropped their breakfast and bolted into the living room.
Lincoln began panicking as he ran upstairs to fetch his clothes back.
He sensed his junk flopping around when he moved, and noticed that Lynn just kept smiling. Hell, she probably couldn't stop staring. Or maybe not.
During this, the house virtually vibrated from the sisterly stampede that took place.
"Give me those!" The boy cried.
Lynn laughed at him, then signaled the girls to join her.
"Come on, this isn't funny!" Lincoln said, his complexion going from ice cold to boiling hot by the second.
To make things worse, his sisters surrounded him. But one of them did appear to be missing...
Still, the odds were against him and he had no way out.
During trying to snatch his clothes, a cruel cacophony of laughter formed.
"Nice 'log' there, Shitcoln." Lynn mocked.
"Wow, and I thought Bobby's was small..." Lori added, grinning.
"Guys, stop it!" Lincoln demanded upon feeling the highest ridicule diminishing him.
"It's okay, Lincy. I think your weenie is kind of cute." Leni assured. "But it's def not as big as Lori's..."
"Wait, what?!" He responded, his mouth hanging agape.
Lynn smirked.
"Alright, ladies, let's show this chump what a real log looks like."
The boy watched as she tightly gripped his shorts and underwear while using her other hand to drop her own.
Leni pulled down her panties. Lori removed everything below her waist. Luna, being the free spirit she is, typically went commando so she simply undid her skirt. Everyone else followed, causing the method in which they undressed to resemble a domino effect.
Giant, flaccid, hideous penises plopped out before Lincoln's mortified eyes.
Not ever expecting this predicament, and not even knowing if this was real, he scooted away.
Right into Lana, whose rod found shelter on his white hair.
He screamed in disgust while she cackled madly.
Lincoln got on his knees, looking up and seeing them getting closer.
Lucy remained silent as she walked alongside the crowd. Her ghostly skin let her dick stick out more than the rest, the contrast alone being quite spooky in its own right.
Even Lily waddled towards her brother with a smile as her massive cock dragged on the carpet.
"Girls, please, just leave me alone!" He begged.
"Hey, brah, you wanna learn how to play the skin flute?" Luna asked, her eyes half lidded, satisfied, and deviant. "Luan is great at it. You can be, too..."
"No th-thanks." The boy replied nervously.
Lola abruptly stepped up and wiggled her log around.
She spoke. "Lincy, you're gonna help me practice for the Little Miss Cumshot pageant, right?"
Lacking the will to respond and embarrassed beyond repair, Lincoln covered his crotch.
In a jolt, Lynn yanked one of his hands back.
"Why are you hiding it? We've already seen how small it is." She said harshly.
Defeated, Lincoln clawed his hands into the carpet before looking away. He wished, prayed that she'd give him his clothes back and that they would finally leave him alone.
Never forget to expect the worst.
Lynn swiftly smacked the hell out of him.
"Look at us, you pathetic Lincolnfag!" She demanded.
Lincoln gritted his teeth upon sensing tears attempting to dribble down his flushed face.
"What do you want from me?!" He asked, his voice breaking.
"I want you to know that we're better than you in every single way, and for you to remember this for the rest of your miserable life."
No matter the amount of bodies and appendages present, a brief moment of silence proceeded.
The girls remained around him, not giving him room to escape.
Lynn could do this all day if she wanted. Though in the moment, she fixated on her brother's horrified stare.
His lips trembled.
She smiled at his misery.
"What, are you gonna cry now?" She taunted.
"No..." Lincoln choked.
"Oh, you know you want to. So, come on, cry!" Lynn bellowed.
The boy's vision blurred, resulting in him seeing double. Normal Lynn, and her twin, who for some reason had freckles and a raccoon hat.
Meanwhile, Luan laughed like the joker she was. Despite being equipped with the understanding that we living in a society, she lacked a trench coat, and undergarments of any sort!
They were too determined to deter him.
Soon enough, the circle created by the jerks became much tinier.
Lincoln's breath grew rapid as their dicks edged towards his face.
He closed his eyes, bracing himself for what, or who came next.
Everything went black...
Lincoln awoke in his bed, and on fearful impulse, lunged himself in the air.
"Oh, geez." He said. "That had to be the weirdest, grossest nightmare ever..."
Thinking of it again caused him to shiver where he sat. At this point, a shower and a loss of memory would save him.
"Man, that was so disgusting. They had... logs." Lincoln mumbled as he got out of bed.
Sending an odd ambience in the house, he halted.
It was far too quiet. Shouldn't the others be getting up as well?
"Eh, it's probably nothing." He thought, sweeping whatever unpleasant imagery he expected under a rug, thus deciding to move on.
When he began going through his dresser, Leni opened his door.
"Hey, Lincoln, dinner's ready!" She said.
The boy glanced at her, noticing a little... well, a big protrusion near her groin.
"I'll... be down in a minute." He said in a subdued tone.
Leni nodded, spinning around and returning to the kitchen.
Lincoln wiped his brow upon noticing he was sweating.
"Okay, I just slept really late. That's all. I didn't see that." He told himself.
So, he continued digging through his drawer for clothes.
"What if I DID see that?"
Suddenly, Lincoln heard someone running upstairs.
Lynn dashed to his room, then yelled right in his face. "Hurry up, Shitcoln! If you don't come and eat dinner now, there isn't going to be any left!"
Hating being told something twice, and ignoring her insults, he stood up.
The girl looked him straight in the eye while smirking.
She spotted his annoyed expression.
Seeking to agitate, she stripped off her shorts.
"And here's another reminder that I have a waaaay bigger log than you, you pathetic Lincolnfag!"
The weight that once held Lincoln up became non-existent as he collapsed onto the floor, blacking out yet again.
Lynn grinned, dusting her hands off before racing back to the kitchen. She made sure her brother didn't get dinner that evening. It's not like he would have wanted it anyways. They did eat hot dogs, after all.
I will say, I am still pretty neutral on the Lincoln log meme. Don't really care for it, doesn't really bother me, it's just kind of there. That said, I do find it to be ironic that some of the people who hate it are the ones who are only into sin kids. Like, those people are working in the universe where if anything, the Lincoln log is most prominent, and also makes the most sense, you know?