Any characters, places or objects that you recognize are property of J.K. Rowling and her corporate supporters, Scholastic, Bloomsbury and any other publishers the world over. Any original characters, places or objects belong to the author. This disclaimer is implied for this and any subsequent chapters.

For all of you that wanted a sequel to "In the Nighttime," here it is. If you haven't read that, please do. This can be read as a standalone, although there are many references made to details in "Nighttime." The basic premise, though: Ginny swapped sexual favors with Malfoy in exchange for his secrecy regarding an age-old Weasley family secret. As part of this agreement, any pregnancy that may result must be carried to term.

The title of this sequel comes from the Third Eye Blind song, "Deep Inside of You."

*~*~*~*~*~

There is something in me of which I cannot be rid.

It is with me constantly, eating at me, growing; a reminder of that which is in my past, that which I hoped would stay there. As it continues to grow larger and larger, it doubles in size and cultivates and expands. I am stuck here, a slave to its whim, as I was a slave to something else, once upon a time.

What I wouldn't give to expel it from my body. To dislodge it from my body and my memory. It symbolizes everything that I do not want. I don't want you and I certainly don't want this.

There are times when I feel I will go crazy, contemplating what is going on within my body, as this thing grows and festers and claims integral parts of me for itself, as the old explorers claimed others' land for their own home country. There are no flags involved, no native rebellion, though; I unwillingly give myself up to it. I have fought too long to remain in this battle, my body is too weary. I will let myself disappear a little at a time for I know in the end – at the end of this ordeal – I will be whole once again.

My body is no longer mine. I thought I had left that behind when I left Hogwarts, but I was fooling myself. I will forever be underneath you until the end of time as a result of this. That which I do not want but you have given me despite (or to spite, I'm not sure). It's not that you want it either, though; you only want the effects of this on me. You swore you'd tell the world my family's secret if I ever terminated it. And I want it only so you will keep your mouth shut and my father will keep his job at the Ministry. And my mother – oh, my sainted mother – so my mother will keep her dignity.

I can't stand the fact that you wield such power over me. It's like being pulled in two different directions – I have you determining who I am – what I do - from a thousand miles away and then I have this thing within me that determines who I am: who, when I am not seen as that tragic 16-year-old Weasley, is seen as that whore girl Weasley who got herself knocked up.

It's a parasite, this thing in me that shares half your genes and half mine. It grows by the day, it multiplies. The cells will double and triple and quadruple as time passes, as I gain weight and slowly lose my body, my autonomy to these cells that I don't want, never wanted. A piece of you inside of me.

The day I found that your seed had taken hold in me I seriously contemplated throwing myself off the moving staircase at Hogwarts. While I may have had broken limbs, at least this growth in my uterus would not have been. I felt dirty, I felt violated, and I felt used. Your bastard – this thing inside of me – is using my body as an incubator.

I had hoped that perhaps I would learn to forget that you had implanted this in me. That I could look at it as though some kind of miracle embedded in me. After all, there is nothing more natural, more gratifying than childbirth, my mum told me. I couldn't delude myself into this. I have tried. I have tried so long to look at this as some sort of gift. A fresh, beautiful life that could somehow give purpose to my life, as if this beautiful new person would somehow make the hell you put me through worth it.

I am apathetic when it comes to it. It will grow, it will be born, it will be alive.

It will be.

Perhaps the only way for me to break away from it is to end it all.

All I want is for them to take this thing out me:

This thing that is my child.

"All I want is for them to take this thing out of me," is a quote adapted from La Niňa Rosa told to the Miami Herald in an article from March 4th, 2003 entitled "Child's Abortion After Rape Splits Nicaragua" by Nancy San Martin.