A little silly story I thought to myself on my way to work. It might be a shipping story but it is more on the comical side than anything else. But regardless of such, I hope you enjoy this little fic I thought on a whim and leave your thoughts below. as always, thanks for your interest and have a nice day.
DISCLAIMER: DxD and its characters belong to Ichiei Ishibumi and its respective magazines.
"Lord Issei, do you have a minute?"
"Oh, hey. What's up miss Grayfia? Is something wrong?"
"Not quite, everything is quite properly organized, in fact. However, I am currently plagued with a doubt that doesn't seem to want to leave my head, and since you've developed so much in the past months, I want your help in this matter at hand."
"Uh, sure Miss Grayfia. I'll see what I can do."
"Thank you very much, Lord Issei."
"No problem. So, what do you want to talk about?"
"Say, Lord Issei. What does being a MILF mean?"
"…"
"…?"
"What…?"
"What does being a MILF m-…?"
'N-N-No, I heard the first time, I heard it loud and clear. I mean… What…?"
"You see, when I was picking Young Millicas back from the Rating Game school, I heard some of his classmates claiming I was a MILF and being quite nice for my age. I accepted such as a compliment, but even with the extend library from the Gremory house, I was unable to find the true meaning of such term. I came to the conclusion it must be a newly term, so I thought asking you would be the most convenient."
"I… I see…"
"So, do you know what it means, Lord Issei?"
"Y-Yeah, kinda."
"Wonderful. If you don't mind me asking, what does it mean? I hope it is indeed a compliment, for I shall reciprocate such kind words."
"Huh… I mean… It's kinda of a… Compliment… But at the same time… I don't know, I think it isn't too."
"Please enlighten me in such matters."
"I-I rather not. Y-You should just forget about it, it's not something someone of your status should linger about."
"Preposterous. As the maid of the Gremory House, it is my duty to be in top condition in regards of both body and mind to carry on with my services. As much, I would also like to know what kind of classmates my dear son is encountering."
"Yes, that's wonderful, miss Grayfia… But… I… I don't think you need to know this particular share of information."
"I see, so you refuse to answer my question for both our sakes. That's alright, Lord Issei. I shall ask Lady Rias in regards of such and see if she's willing to share her own knowledge with me."
"No, please! Please don't do that, Miss Grayfia! She'll think it was my fault you heard that word and she'll slap me for that! Please don't do this!"
"Fine, I shall not. However, my doubt is still in your hands, Lord Issei. Please tell, what is a MILF?"
"Uh… Okay, you win. Sigh… I mean, yeah… Uh, how can I say this… A MILF is… Uh… A MILF is… A very attractive woman… Who has a son, who has children in general. Uh, a very… Very beautiful woman… Who has children."
"I see."
"Yeah… That's it…"
"So, am I a MILF?"
"What?"
"Lord Issei, am I a MILF?"
"…"
"Lord Issei…?"
"I… I… I don't think I should answer this."
"For what motive? You don't see me as attractive?"
"N-N-No! That's not it! Miss Grayfia is very, very attractive! But… I don't think I should be calling you a MILF."
"And why is that?"
"I mean, I really, really respect big bro Sirzechs. I don't think I should call be calling his wife, mother of his son, a MILF so casually."
"Why, I doubt he would be offended by such. In fact, I am sure he would be delightful to know his dear future in-law thinks his beau is attractive."
"That's not the point, Miss Grayfia!"
"Then what is 'the point', Lord Issei?"
"Can… Can we just let this subject die? I think I'm having an aneurysm here…"
"How about Lady Gremory? Is she a MILF as well?"
"I mean… No… I mean… I… I can't say that! She's Rias' mother! I gotta respect her!"
"Or your dearest mother, then? Can you consider her a MILF? Her own son?"
"Grayfia, that's disgusting! I'm not into that stuff! I don't consider my mom a MILF!"
"Why is that? So you don't consider any of us attractive enough to be MILFs? I apologize for asking such knowing the boundaries and your own affection for your harem, but I cannot hide the fact that I'm a bit hurt for your words regarding our appearance."
"Miss Grayfia… I beg of you. No more! Please, no more or I think the ground will eat me…"
"Oh… As you wish then, Lord Issei. However, keep in mind that I'm a bit hurt for your thoughts in the matter, not just for me either. But you already have Lady Rias and the others, so it's understandable? I hope you can make her and the others MILFs as well."
"Oh God, please stop…"
"As you wish."
"I hope Rias doesn't get an earful from this conversation… Miss Grayfia, please don't ever, never talk to her about this."
"Very well. But I do have also another doubt that has been plaguing my mind as well."
"Please don't tell me it's about things like DILF, scat or guro…"
"No, they're in fact not."
"Oh, thank Goodness…"
"However, here's my doubt: What does it mean one to be DUMMY THICC?"
"…"
And after a very awkward evening, Issei offered himself to chaperone Millicas to and from the Rating Games school from now on. No one questioned him for that… Or anything else for that matter, since.