"Good evening, minor felons, Black Hat here," Black Hat greeted the audience he knew would be watching...or else. "for more ways to utterly annihilate all do gooders the world has spewed out! Flug, show them!"

"Of course, Lord Black Hat, sir." Dr Flug said as he handed his master a pistol.

Black Hat glared at it before shooting the doctor a murderous gaze. (Haha, get it)

"WHAT IS THIS?" Black Hat growled.

"I-it's a gun…" Flug whimpered.

"I KNOW WHAT IT IS, WHAT IS IT DOING IN MY HAND!? THESE HARDLY EVEN WORK ON HEROES YOU DIMWIT!"

"IT'S NOT JUST A NORMAL GUN!" Flug screamed when Black Hat threatened him. "It's bullets are replaced with these darts that contain a certain serum, and it leaves anyone hit with it with their greatest fear for all eternity!"

"Interesting."

Black Hat grinned and turned to the camera, the cameraman's eyes widening when he realised what was about to happen. When he pulled the trigger, a dart shot out and dug into the cameraman's leg. The poor man started screaming in fear as the whole world turned into more Black Hats, while the real Black Hat laughed.

"Of course!" he smirked, unsurprised. "I'm everyone's greatest fear! This is perfect, make more!"

He stopped laughing when he realised that the cameraman wasn't screaming anymore.

"FLUG! WHY CAN'T I HEAR HIS SCREECHES!?" Black Hat asked angrily.

"It's j-just a prototype, master Black Hat!" Dr Flug explained, getting more nervous as Black Hat grew bigger to tower over him. "I need to make m-more of the serum, it uses up a lot to have it last an eternity..."

"THEN MAKE MORE BEFORE I SHOOT YOU!" Black Hat demanded.

"YES SIR!" Flug responded quickly.

Flug left immediately, and the cameraman rolled on the ground, sucking his thumb. As soon as Black Hat turned to look out of his window, a portal appeared under the cameraman and he fell through, too traumatised to scream. Three silhouettes peeked their heads out of the portal, their red eyes locked onto Black Hat, who didn't seem to notice. One of the silhouettes pulled out a sniper with dire intentions, aiming at the back of the villain's head. Not long after, the trigger was pulled. BANG! And that was the end of Back Hat…

...Or, it might've been, had the bullet not have stopped in midair. The silhouettes' eyes widened.

"What the?" said a confused Moxxie.

There was no voodoo involved with the bullet stopping. Black Hat didn't even have a forcefield around him. The bullet had stopped and it was shaking in fear! Black Hat's head did a full 180 turn to face the imps before his body did the same soon after.

"WHO DARES TO TRY AND ASSASSINATE ME IN MY OWN HOME!?" Black Hat hissed.

The bullet let out a scared squeal before shooting into another direction. The imps stared at him for a while, when Blitzo (the o is silent) opened his mouth.

"It was his idea." Blitzo said, pointing at Moxxie.

"HEY!" Moxxie shouted.

"YOU suggested we shoot him!" Millie told Blitzo.

"And he suggested we use a sniper rifle, so I'd say that's a fair amount of idea for us." Blitzo continued.

"Well I wasn't informed our target was going to be an IMMORTAL GOD!" Moxxie yelled.

"You should always be prepared for anything!" Blitzo explained.

"Target?" Black Hat growled, his eyes narrowing. "Who sent you!?"

"That's personal information," Blitzo responded, grabbing a knife. "Hell may be a horrible place, but we wouldn't stoop as low as being a snitch!"

"Yet murder's fine." Moxxie sighed sarcastically.

"...Hell?" Black Hat asked, now more intrigued than angry. "So you're from Hell, are you?"

"Too many questions!" Millie shouted, holding a club.

"Kill him!" Blitzo ordered.

And with that, the imps leaped out of the portal towards Black Hat, who looked unintimidated, simply teleporting out of the way before they hit him. As soon as the assassins got up, they charged again, and Black Hat wore an evil grin when their weapons suddenly melted. Luckily, Moxxie still had a pistol, and whipped it out to shoot at his target. However, the bullet was transported to another dimension. Blitzo, Millie and Moxxie tried multiple times to kill Black Hat, but he just had something up his sleeve for everything. Eventually he'd had enough, and gave them a cold stare.

"ENOUGH."

His eyes flashed white, and the three imps slowly started turning to stone from their feet up. It wasn't slow because Black Hat's petrification had limits, he just decided to watch his victims suffer this time. And suffer they did, as they frantically tried to get themselves free from the stone, to no avail.

"Moxxie!" Millie cried, trying to reach out to her husband.

"Millie!" Moxxie did the same.

Their hands touched and they pulled themselves towards each other, and knowing their fate was inescapable, embraced for one last time...until Blitzo, being Blitzo, decided to interrupt their moment by sticking his head in between them to hug as well.

"I've always loved you guys." Blitzo said.

"GOD DAMN IT!" Moxxie shouted, going to punch his boss before his arm turned to stone.

That's when Black Hat noticed a spellbook in Blitzo's grip, and with a wave of his hand the petrification stopped, leaving only their heads free. Not bothering to try and wrestle a book out of a statue's grasp, he teleported it into his hand.

"And now he has our book." Blitzo sighed. "You see, Moxxie, when I'm nice to you and let you choose how this goes down, this happens. Why can't you just be like Millie next time and get the job done?"

"NEXT TIME?" Moxxie yelled, getting increasingly frustrated. "DOES OUR SITUATION LOOK LIKE WE'RE GONNA HAVE A NEXT TIME!"

"SHUT IT!" Black Hat screeched, causing them all to instantly shut up while he read the spellbook.

Not a second later, Demencia smashed through the door, looking hungry. She instantly caught sight of the imps.

"Dinner!" she pounced towards them.

"Wait." Black Hat ordered, as Demencia was stopped in midair, a couple centimetres away from mauling the lesser demons.

Black Hat turned around without moving as if he was floating, glaring at the assassins.

"The book." Black Hat snarled. "How does it work."

"Don't talk to us like we're going to tell you anything!" Millie snapped.

"Damn right!" Moxxie lashed out. "If you want information, you can piss right off!"

"Very well." Black Hat narrowed his eyes. "FLUG!"

5.0.5 and Flug entered immediately, looking in shock at the statues while Black Hat turned away without a care.

"You're late." Black Hat hissed.

"But I was here first, just for you!" Demencia beamed sweetly, if your idea of sweet included being inches away from ripping a happily married couple and their boss to pieces.

"Sorry, Lord Black Hat," Dr Flug apologized. "I was just working on making the serum. What happened here?"

"When I call you, it's because I want something, not because I want you to ask me questions!" his master interrupted, throwing the book at Flug, who caught it right before it whacked him in the face. "Figure this out."

The scientist stared at the book for a couple of seconds.

"Oh, I've seen this before!" Flug said. "This is an artifact from Hell. Where'd you find this?"

"These assassins sent to kill me." Black Hat answered. "Nobody would dare to fight me without an order, so a pitiful superhero probably wanted revenge and hired them."

"A superhero in Hell?" The doctor wondered. "Sunblast maybe? He was a douche."

While they talked, Demencia (still stuck in midair) reached her hand out to try and grab Blitzo, who moved his head away just in time.

"I don't care, it was a far more mediocre battle than I thought it would be." the villain said, as if any battle against him would be fair. "Just figure it out!"

"Right!" Flug replied quickly. "Apologies, it's been a while since I've performed demonic magic arts."

A moment later, he used the book to open a portal, scaring the crap out of 5.0.5. They all looked into the portal, seeing the carnage that was Hell.

"So this is how you ended up here?" Black Hat asked. "A portal to Hell. That reminds me, I've got a little errand to run…"

Not needing the imps anymore, Black Hat allowed Demencia to continue moving. However, she was more interested in the portal, and decided to just slap them away.

"Are we going in?" Dr Flug asked, deep down hoping Black Hat said no.

"WHAT KIND OF QUESTION IS THAT!?" Black Hat yelled. "It's been a whole millennia since I've visited the underground, of course we're going in!"

"I'm going on a trip with Black Hat?" Demencia asked with hearts in her eyes.

"Fine, I'll go pack my bags." Flug sighed.

Before he could leave, Black Hat teleported in front of him, transforming his face into a hideous monster before roaring. All three of his underlings screamed in fear and fell into the portal, as Black Hat's face turned to normal.

"Priceless as always!" Black Hat laughed to himself before walking over the portal and slowly descending.

The portal closed, and the imps were left in silence.

"...Wait, what about us!?" Blitzo called.

Meanwhile, down in the deepest depths of Hell was a hotel, ran by the Princess of Hell, and daughter of Lucifer, Charlie Magne. She stared out of a window, hoping at least one demon would willingly step forward to be redeemed. (besides, of course, Angel Dust) But unfortunately, knowing how many jackoffs and dickwads were down here, that wouldn't happen anytime soon. Angel was laying on the couch, two of his four arms - six including the retractable ones - behind his head.

"Charlie, listen," the pornstar said. "I don't mean to sound like an ass, but maybe we should try alternative ways of getting guests instead of 'wait and hope for the best!'"

Vaggie was stood on the opposite side of the room. "Have you got any other ideas?"

"Well, if it were my place, I would invite some dudes in for a blowjob," Angel explained. "Then I'd lock them up, torture them and never let them leave until I'm 100% sure they've changed."

"...What." Vaggie asked, dumbfounded.

"Come on, where's your optimism?" Charlie asked, honestly not feeling that confident either. "Keep your hopes high and we'll get lucky eventually."

"You'll need to try harder than that if you want anyone else involved." Angel explained. "Yo Husk, throw me some booze!"

The bartender did just that, and Angel caught it out of the air.

"Thanks." Angel grinned, clicking his three free hand's fingers and pointing at Husk.

"Just know that I was trying to hit you." Husk told him.

"Oh, you can hit this naughty boy all you like…" Angel said in a sexy voice. "But you'll need to tie me up first…"

"You're supposed to be going clean," Vaggie reminded him. "That means going drink free!"

"Relax, it's just one drink, I know when to stop!" Angel insisted before putting the sexy voice back on. "Just tell me the safe word…"

Vaggie facepalmed while Charlie sighed and looked back out of the window. That's when something orange in the sky caught her attention. Three non-demonic looking figures fell out, a 100% demonic looking figure following afterwards.

"What…?' she raised an eyebrow.

Those figures were of course the villains, as the focus shifted back to them. After falling through the sky, Demencia landed on all floors before flipping to her feet, while Black Hat simply landed feet first. Flug, however, landed face first onto the stone ground, looking like he was in serious pain. He tried to get to his feet, but 5.0.5 landed on his back as he screamed in pain.

"I just got that fixed last week!" Flug winced.

5.0.5 panicked and quickly got off of the doctor, while Demencia just laughed at him.

"Oh suck it up, Flug, this is the toughest place you'll get the pleasure of being in!" Demencia sneered.

Black Hat looked around, taking it all in.

"Ah Hell, a thousand years later and it's still the same old shithole it's always been." Black Hat smirked, baring his razor sharp teeth. "This foul, decaying smell brings back so many memories."

"Incredible! There's a whole society down here!" Flug proclaimed, watching the demons live their new eternal 'lives.' "I've heard about many versions of Hell, but I never thought it would be like this!"

"Yeah, it's cool, I guess." Demencia yawned, seeing much scarier things 24/7 ala el jefe himself.

"The only thing I don't understand is why nobody's running for their lives." the doctor continued. "Don't they know what's standing right in front of them?"

"Oh, they will." Black Hat stated. His neck twirled creepily, bones heard snapping - not that he'd be affected by any pain - before it stopped to face a news station, while 5.0.5 had to hold in vomit after witnessing that.

Charlie was trying to figure out what the Hell (hahaha, hahahaha) she just saw fall out of the sky when the TV suddenly turned on. Vaggie looked puzzled as 666 news turned on.

"Charlie?" she called.

"Yeah?"

"Did you get a TV?"

"...No?" Charlie sounded uneasy as she came to check it out.

"Good evening, I'm Katie Killjoy!" welcomed Little Miss Bitch.

"And I'm Tom Trench!" Mr Not So Much But Most Likely Also A Bitch did the same.

"And today we make history, as for the first time we have an interesting story to talk about!" Katie continued, her neck snapping sickeningly as she moved.

"It came from above, it's Earth's very own villain of all villains!"

"The one they call Lord Black Hat is visiting Hell right at this moment!"

"WHAT!?" Vaggie gasped.

Angel Dust comically spat out his drink over everyone. "Wait, Black Hat!?" he asked. "He's here?"

"That's right, and if you're not trembling right now…" both of the newspersons' faces started morphing into Black Hat's, before they came together to become one. "Then stay tuned for more action coming up next!"

Stormy clouds covered the sky, blinding lightning crackled and thunder roared as the sky switched from red to a spooky green. An urge began overcoming the residents of Hell, like gravity was fighting against them. Everybody was getting affected except for Charlie.

"Vaggie?" Charlie asked nervously.

Despite their best attempts of getting back up, everyone was forced to the ground and started bowing. Black Hat slowly stood up and floated off screen, but somehow ended up emerging from behind the TV. He chuckled before stopping in front of Charlie.

"Charlotte…" he bent over towards her with a fiendish look on his face. "So I finally meet you in person…"

"Do I...know you?" the princess looked understandably uncomfortable and took a step away from him.

"Oh, where are my manners?" with a wave of his hand, Black Hat spawned his Black Hat Inc business card and quite forcibly handed it to her. "Black Hat, it's a pleasure, your father tells me a lot about you."

"You know my dad." she was doubtful, but it wouldn't surprise Charlie if the King of Hell told creeps like this about her.

"Of course!" Black Hat walked up to a portrait of Lucifer, copying his smile. "Where do you think he gets his good looks from?"

"Right...and what are you doing here?"

"Good question, very good question." Black Hat replied. "To celebrate my return to Hell, I'm going to be sharing my…" he paused for a moment, like he was regretting his next line. "Kindness...by obliging with a favour your father asked me to do."

Charlie put two and two together and realised what he was going to say next. "Wait, you want to lend a hand with-"

"The hotel, yes! Clever girl…" Black Hat shook Charlie's hand before walking away, revealing that it was actually cut off. She quickly dropped the hand as it melted into the ground, reforming back on Black Hat's arm. "After all, this place needs a wicked touch!"

Black Hat snapped his fingers and everyone stopped bowing. As soon as she was free from Black Hat's control, Vaggie grabbed her spear and ran up to the beast.

"You little bitch!" she threatened the 'little bitch' who was actually a pretty damn tall bitch. "I know exactly who you are, and as long as I'm here, you're not performing any of your unholy schemes!"

"It's a little late for unholiness isn't it, mi señora? (my lady)" he laughed at her attempt to be intimidating. "You wouldn't want Lucifer knowing his daughter's co-worker was denying her of an upgraded business, now would you?"

"I couldn't care less if you're on a mission from God, one wrong move and you're suffering down here with us forever!" she warned.

"IF YOU THINK I FEAR YOU..." Black Hat suddenly stepped forward, causing Vaggie to stumble back in shock. "Then I'm afraid you're sadly mistaken!"

He continued walking to faze through Vaggie, sending shivers down her spine.

"Now talk to me when you're in a better mood."

"Puta madre…(Motherfucker…)" Vaggie grumbled, crossing her arms.

She took a quick glance at her spear, yelping when she realised it had turned into a snake, which hissed until Vaggie threw it away. Before it hit the ground, Black Hat turned the snake back into Demencia, who laughed like a maniac.

"You got told!" Demencia mocked her. "Doc, bear, get your butts in here!"

Flug and 5.0.5 entered through the front door, looking more nervous than the other two.

"Um...hello, Miss Princess Of Hell," they shook hands. "I'm Dr Flug Slys. This big guy's 5.0.5." the bear waved at her.

"Call me Charlie." she waved back, 5.0.5 looking touched that his love and affection was returned for once.

"Will do…" he checked to make sure Black Hat wasn't listening. "Sorry about this all coming together so quickly, Lord Black Hat's pretty ruthless when he puts his mind to something."

"It's fine!" Charlie reassured. "Believe me, I've dealt with worse."

"Oh, you have no idea…" Flug whispered under his breath.

"HELLO!" Niffty came out of nowhere, surprising everyone but Black Hat. "My name's Niffty, will any of you be my friend?" before 5.0.5 could answer Niffty gasped when she saw the mess Angel had spat out, instantly running over to dry it up. Demencia's eyes sparkled and her mouth drooled when she saw her. "Who did this!? I'm sorry, I'll get back to you in a moment, I need to deal with someth-AH-" were Niffty's last words before Demencia's tongue wrapped around her and she swallowed her whole.

Everyone stared at Demencia wide eyed, but she didn't seem to give a damn and just shrugged.

"What?" she wore a shit-eating grin.

"Demencia! Spit her out right now!" Flug demanded, like that would do anything. This was met with a laugh from Demencia, who decided to run away when Flug chased her. "DEMENCIA!"

"Son of a!" Vaggie ran over to pounce on Demencia.

Meanwhile, Black Hat had an expression that proved he was enjoying every second of this. Charlie cautiously approached him.

"So what plans do you have for the hotel?"

"I'm glad you asked, Charlie dear," Black Hat's face disappeared from the front of his head, showing up on the side of his head to face Charlie, leaving her with a disturbed look. "First of all, a makeover is imminent. I mean, look at this place, good God!"

"Yeah, this place does need some tidying." Charlie admitted.

In the background, Vaggie pried open Demencia's mouth while Flug tried to pull Niffty out.

"Speaking of which, let's sort that out right now!" Black Hat said as he twirled his hands around, sparking dark particles everywhere that began to change the hotel's appearance.

The walls were magically painted with eye-catching colour and shattered windows were repaired in a matter of seconds. (which was surprising since Black Hat was doing this) Everyone watched in astonishment as the rundown interior was reborn into a fresh new look. There would be a song here, but this is a story and you wouldn't know how it'd go. Just use your imagination. For the final touch, Black Hat altered the exterior, ending with the Hazbin Hotel sign turning into "The Black Hat Hotel!" It was like a special episode of 60 Minute Makeover set in Mortal Kombat's Netherrealm.

"Go and check out what I've done with the place." Black Hat urged them.

"OH MY GOSH, OH MY GOSH!" Charlie yelled excitedly as she ran out of the door, already pleased at the interior and realising that maybe this new guy has good intentions after all.

Flug, on the other hand, was more concerned at this new Black Hat, keeping a close eye on him as he walked out. Once everyone had left, Black Hat's eyes rolled to the back of his head, stopping to stare at Angel Dust, who was sat back on the chair. He hadn't said a word since Black Hat entered, but he somehow wasn't paralyzed out of fear, he looked more like he couldn't give a crap about anything going on right now.

"You're not going to join them?" he talked slowly and eerily.

"I wanna stay here with you, ya hunk of sexiness."

Black Hat gave him a blank look.

"Alright look, I know who you are." Angel confessed. "Before you became famous."

"And how do you know that?"

"Eh, word gets around."

"Word gets around, hm? What do you know?" Black Hat asked impatiently, coming a little too close to Angel.

"I know you were active while I was still alive." he stood up to stare Black Hat in the eyes. "You were this big shot Mexican mobster in the nineties and you ruled the underground criminal world. My pop went to war with you multiple times."

"I went to war with thousands of kingpins," Black Hat confirmed. "But no battle was noteworthy, your father's just another bug in the flytrap."

"Insult him all you want, he was a bigger piece of shit up there than I am down here."

Black Hat shockingly looked impressed. "I like you, you've got balls."

"And I like you too, let me feel if you've got any." now Angel decided to screw around, trying to grab Black Hat.

But Black Hat grabbed his hand and pulled it away. "I can fuck you up in many different ways." he warned.

"And I can fuck you more times than you can imagine." Angel's third arm wrapped around Black Hat's waist, while the other two pulled the villain's head closer for a kiss. "Want me to prove it, sugar?"

Unamused, Black Hat clenched his fist, crushing Angel's hand.

"Oh!" Angel exclaimed, now proving he had no fear. "Bad Angie deserves a spanking! Care to take up the role of pappy?"

Black Hat yelled profanity in disgust, shoving Angel away back into the sofa. He didn't seem to be affected though.

"Now while my father was a dick," Angie continued. "I had a lot of friends up there. You killed every single one of them."

"I see you're going to be a problem." Black Hat huffed. "You'd better not cause me any trouble in the future. You answer to me, and I won't hesitate to destroy you if you piss me off."

And yet, Angel kept up with the jokes. "If you mean you're going to destroy me in bed, be my guest!" he chuckled. "No but for real, I have a serious grudge against you, so unless you're paying me for sex I'm not doing jackshit."

"Rebellious. You would've done great in my business if you weren't such a drug addicted whore."

"At least I got some peace and quiet down here."

"Enjoy it while it lasts."

Tension filled the air as they glared at each other, fire appearing in Black Hat's eyes.

"I'll be watching you…" Black Hat growled before he disappeared into a puff of black smoke.

"Join the party!" Angel laughed one last time as he turned to some stalkers looking at him through a window. They dispersed when he saw them. "What a joke."

The smoke disappeared through the door, as Black Hat thought to himself. "This is going to be a challenge…good. I didn't want this to be too easy."

The smoke appeared in front of the others before turning back into Black Hat, who was trying to erase what happened seconds ago from his memory.

"Is it to your liking?"

"It's amazing!" Charlie giggled with glee. "The place has never looked this good!"

"Black Hat Hotel…" Vaggie read. "You're acting like this was all your idea."

"I do one good deed and this is how I'm treated?" Black Hat asked, offended.

"Come on, Vaggie, let's give him a chance." Charlie pleaded.

"Charlie, he is a sick, twisted monster worse than anything down here could ever wish to be, how can you trust him?"

"This is the chance we've been waiting for, we can make this work!"

"I…I don't know…"

"Believe me." Charlie put a hand on Vaggie's shoulder. "We're making it through this."

Vaggie stared at her before closing her eyes and muttering to herself. "Me arrepentiré de esto... (I'm gonna regret this...) Fine, let's do this."

"Yes!" Charlie cheered, fist pumping.

Seeing Charlie happy made Vaggie happy, but she still felt off about this, especially when she saw Black Hat smiling at them from a distance. Charlie then grabbed everyone near her for a group hug. When Demencia tried to slip out of her grasp, 5.0.5 hugged too, squishing everyone together.

"Too tight!" Flug whimpered.

Black Hat was still watching them, before eventually turning his attention back to the hotel, grinning at the "Black Hat Hotel!" sign.

"Step one: complete…" he said ominously. "It's all coming together nicely."