Hello everyone! I'm trying out FFnet again at the request of a friend AND because I discovered AO3 was eating my formatting on old fics. It's frustrating to go back to an older work and find the scene breaks and emphasis have been removed! I want a correct copy accessible online. It might take me a while to catch up formatting everything over though.

This story takes place during Makoto's Lies but it's meant to stand alone (not requiring knowing Makoto's Lies to understand it).

Me and Ann watch Haru walk off with a man in a black suit. She makes our wave: two shakes with two fingers raised, two tilted. That way we know she's okay. Parking that fancy car of hers right next to Shibuya Station must've been a pain but I guess that's what those guys're paid for. This late on a Tuesday probably ain't as bad as other times.

Yusuke took off right when our train got in. He's in the dorms so he has curfew to worry about. After this I guess I'll see Ann off at her train and then get home myself. Ma is working the late shift again so no one's waiting for me.

It's cold. Even though my uniform is thick, it's cold. I dunno how Ann does it in those skimpy leggings of hers. At least we got the Buchiko statue to huddle by for windbreak. What a great dog, even long gone from this world he's helping people.

The hiding is good too. Me and Ann kinda stick out. It's not that there are many people still out: a few homeless dudes, a wannabe rocker with a guitar across the square, that kinda stuff. Futaba even said that bastard Akechi ain't nearby but one thing's for sure after tonight—he ain't acting alone. Things have been tight ever since they killed Haru's dad and blamed it on us but now it's more real. Now we know for sure that a whole conspiracy is after us. Now we know they're coming for Ren.

"Yeah..." Ann's voice is small over her breath. She's holding her arms across her chest but it probably ain't cuz she's cold.

Guess my sigh was that obvious. I ball my fists by my sides. "Those bastards."

At least I manage to keep my voice low. Ren's been on my case about that.

"Yeah." This time Ann lets some anger out too. Honestly, I like it better that way.

We watch Haru step into a slick black vehicle with her bodyguard and drive off. I know we should be going back inside but I gotta get some of this off my chest and into the wind. The sound of that bastard's smug voice talking about killing Ren like it's child play plays on repeat in my head. I feel my nails digging into my palms. "We knew it. We knew it since the first time we saw that bastard. We shoulda done somethin'!"

"Yeah..." That sad voice is back. I don't like it.

I really don't like it.

This ain't the Ann I know. She must be taking all this conspiracy nonsense real hard too. I know Haru's dad dying did a number of her. The police are watching us at school. And now we got a straight up plot to murder Ren. She don't need me piling it on.

Time to look on the bright side.

I pull my biggest grin when I turn to her. "Hey, it'll work out. Makoto and the others already got a great plan. He won't know what hit him."

"Yeah..." Ann doesn't look up. Her eyelashes look silver in the moonlight. She just keeps holding herself with her arms. "Makoto's really something, isn't she?"

Oh.

Of course.

She likes him, doesn't she?

On top of finding out about those evil bastards, we just found out about Ren and Makoto too.

Man.

This hurts more than I thought it would. It's like my gut just got punched while a poisonous snake is slithering circles inside it.

I mean... I kinda knew. Who wouldn't choose Ren? That guy's got it all. Smarts. Looks. Talent. Charm. He's just special. That's why he's our leader.

I mean... if it had to be someone, I'd rather it be him.

Really.

Too bad he's taken.

I'm kinda glad he's taken.

...

I'm a terrible friend.

A breeze tugs at the tips of my hair. It's like it's reminding me Ann is waiting.

Now what?

I push off from the statue. Ann could use a hug.

No.

Not right now.

That'd be wrong.

Now I'm standing right by her unable to move. The words seem to die in my throat.

Just play dumb, Ryuji. Cheer her up.

"Hey, it wasn't just Makoto. We all helped out. You know that." I smile through grit teeth.

Ann's lips press together harder. Her brow creases. I know that look. I really stepped in it.

I bury a "What?!" on the tip of my tongue.

Girls don't make no sense.

Time to make an escape.

"Come on, we don't wanna miss the last train." If Ann don't want to talk to me that's fine.

It's fine.

She can call her girlfriends and cry or something when she gets home.

It's fine.

I take a few steps towards the station when I get hit square in the back. I grunt and stumble forward before righting myself. I can feel Ann's head pressing between my shoulder blades. Her hands are balled in fists against my back.

"Don't turn around, okay?" It's basically a command. I can just imagine her puffing her cheeks as she says it. For a second I forget to be nervous. It doesn't last.

"...Okay." It comes out breathy through a hard swallow.

We stand there, just like that. Ann's trembling. The pull on my coat tells me she's gripping hard. I got no idea what to do. I gotta calm down, focus on my breathing. Yeah. That's it. Maybe she won't notice.

I'm pretty sure forever happens before Ann speaks again.

"Ryuji... " I can just hear her from behind me. "Am I attractive?"

Dammit. Why don't schools be actually useful and teach a dude how to navigate this mess of a question?

Is she attractive? Tch.

The first time I saw Ann, really saw Ann as who she is not just as some different-looking girl in my class, I knew she was the prettiest person I had ever seen. It's not just the way her hair carries the sun or the clarity of her eyes. It's not even that something about the way she smiles. It's that she's so for real.

Ann don't pretend to be anyone's friend or waste anyone's time pointless formal junk. Yeah I know her job is to smile for the camera but that smile comes from somewhere real. Always. That's something other people are too afraid to copy—cuz it ain't all sunshine and rainbows. Rather than playing the games you need to be popular she distanced herself a lot at first. It was that or tell those jerks the truth.

For me, it don't get more attractive than Ann.

...but I can't say that.

"What?" I raise my head and force a chuckle. "You're a model. You know damn well you're attractive."

"No not like that," she bops me with one of her fists. "Am I desirable? Am I girlfriend material? Would guys like me like that?"

There really is no avoiding this is there? Dammit Ren. You had to drop two bombshells at once. This shit wouldn't get to Ann like this if we weren't all already so fried from that Akechi business.

"What's this?" My forced chuckled turns into an uncontrolled nervous laugh. She's gonna figure it out. Double dammit. "Of course you are. Most guys would love to have a girlfriend like you."

"Then why don't you?" She's pouting. I hear in in her voice. "Why don't you like me?"

I sigh.

Don't do this to me Ann.

I inhale.

Ann's like... Ann's like a goddess, an angel, and your best bro all in one. It's great. Just seeing her is the highlight of any day.

I don't want to ruin that.

I really don't want to ruin that.

...but I feel her waiting against my back, waiting for me to say something.

I'll probably regret this in the morning.

"I do like you."

This is a bad idea.

"I've always liked you."

But maybe if it makes her feel better right now... it's okay.

"But not like Ren likes Makoto." Ann's response comes faster than expected. I thought I'd be standing here, holding my breath, my heart busting things up while every nerve I have is on alert.

What am I supposed to make of this Ann?

I keep hoping if I just stand still that somehow I'll calm down but it only makes things worth. Dammit. She's gonna hear.

Maybe I don't got nothing to lose anymore.

I don't know.

"No," I pause and shake my head. "Not like that."

Ann droops, digging further into my back.

"I like you much more than that."

She lets go.

This is it.

This is the end.

I feel a tug at my arm. She pulls me around so we're face-to-face. Her eyes are wide. She's still holding my sleeve in her hand. I can't read her face. Is she angry? Sad? Disappointed? Maybe even ...happy?

"Don't even joke around about that Ryuji." Her eyebrows narrow just a bit. She ain't really angry... yet, at least.

"I'm not." I say it as quietly and plainly as I can. I don't even raise my arms. I don't know if I'm good at being serious, but just this once, please keep this dumb face of mine straight.

Please let her see that I mean it.

Her eyes get large again. She lets go of my sleeve and pouts. "Then why didn't you ask me out you dummy?"

Does that mean she...? No. I still got no idea where we stand. I don't even got the energy to get defensive. It's probably a good thing. Why does my mouth taste so dry? "I didn't want to mess things up."

She keeps staring at me. What does she expect me to do?

Now's the wait, the one I expected.

My heart beats for a thousand lifetimes.

Fuck. I can't take this.

"S-so..." Smooth Ryuji. I gulp as if that's gonna make it better. "Do you..."

Don't pressure her you idiot!

"Hey... it's late." I exhale. "You don't owe me a response or nothin'. We can just go back to the way things were."

A lie... or maybe... a wish.

No.

I don't want that.

C'mon Ryuji, whatever you're gonna say, you gotta say it now.

I look at her straight. "But even though I'm not him... I don't mind bein' second choice or third choice or any choice."

Ann scrunches her face. "Him?"

"You know... Ren." It all comes out as a mumble. "You like him, right?"

"No." She grabs my sleeve by the upper arm this time. She's looking at me harder than I've ever been looked at before. "It's always been you."

Did she... did she just!?

There's this bloom in my chest which feels awful and awesome at the same time but mostly awesome and I try to press it back because I must've heard that wrong because it can't be. I speak without thinking.

"F-for real?"

"For real." She smiles. I thought she'd have some retort but she just smiles. I don't think there's ever been such a beautiful smile.

She steps forward and leans in, resting her cheek against mine. It's nice. I wrap my arms around her. I'm not sure this is really happening. We stay like this for some time anyway. Whatever it is I want to soak in it. I want to absorb it in case it goes away.

There's one last doubt though. "So why didn't you ask me out?"

Now I'm back to holding my breath.

"I thought you weren't interested." I think I feel a frown against my cheek and immediately feel bad for causing it. "You were always chasing other girls."

"I didn't want to seem like I was creepin' on you."

I used to beat myself up over chasing away all those girls at the beach and stuff. I used to tell myself I had to get with reality and move on. Now it's all worth it.

On the other hand, we lost so much time to that shit.

And why?

Cuz I was a coward.

I was so afraid of being found out that I let her suffer through all of first year alone. I told myself Shiho'd handle it. Then... all that Kamoshida bullshit...

All I can do is hold her closer. I reach up my hand to cradle her head.

"I'm sorry Ann... for all those times I shoulda been there for you."

"Me too," she leans in just a little more. "It goes both ways."

"But we're together now." Just saying it, there's a grin I can't control. "Aren't we?"

I feel her cheeks get full. "We are."

The way we're holding each other now—I don't want it to end.

After a while some men in suits run by. The last trains must be leaving soon. That means I don't even got time to see Ann off.

We return to the station. She's got her arms wrapped around one of mine the entire time. I feel like I can conquer the entire world.

Only when we gotta go different directions does she let go. She takes a few steps and then turns. "I'll see you tomorrow at school."

"Yeah," I say through a smile that makes it hard to talk.

She jogs back to me and plants a quick peck on my cheek before running off towards her train. I swear I see angel wings grow out of her back.

I don't remember getting on my own train. I don't remember getting off it. I certainly don't remember how I got back home or into my room. I plop down on my bed. It only really starts to hit me... what actually just happened.

Takamaki Ann.

Wow.

How do I not eff this up?!