Hello and welcome to my Star Wars story, I'm really excited about this one! This story has honestly been in my mind for a long time seeing as I haven't seen anyone do something similar. Anyways, I just have a few things I need to say in regards to the story before you start reading. You can skip over this if you don't want any information and want to go in without knowing anything.

So, as you know, this story is canon divergent but it's also, cannon compliant you'll just need to read on to get my meaning. So as the synopsis says, Kylo Ren didn't join the First Order when Luke tried to kill him and that, of course, has had a few repercussions. However, everything else is pretty much the same. Lastly, this will be a Rey/Kylo Ren story, though it will be a slow burn, you just gotta be patient!

Well, that was everything from me, so read and enjoy!

Chapter one

"Jakku? Why the hell are you going to that wasteland?" A deep male voice asked barely hearable with the loud techno music blasting from various speakers.

This was Hosnian prime, such loud music would usually be frowned upon by the citizens of Republic City, but this is a bar and one of the most popular ones in the entire galaxy at that.

The bar is large, and filled with people humanoid and non-humanoid alike, as well as the droids that handed people their drinks and did various jobs. There were booths by the walls, all of them occupied by boisterous groups of wealthy and non-wealthy alike. In the middle of every table, there laid a hologram of a dancer, or of a sporting event happening somewhere in the galaxy. People cheered at the events, or looked at the dancers, mesmerized, especially the men who were captivated by their beauties despite being mere projections. The bar itself was stationed in the middle, people from different races sitting by it while drinking, eating, and laughing leisurely.

The lights in the bar were dim, except for the few lights flashing from the walls and onto the floor. Alcohol stained the floor, and if one looked close enough there were even blots of dried blood both old and new from previous brawls.

As to the people in attendance, everyone present had more or less the same appearance, with lavish, colourful clothing and deep pockets for alcohol and entertainment. This is Hosnian's most popular bar after all.

Almost everyone was drunk, uncaring of what was happening around them, as they danced, talked and enjoyed themselves. However, not all were like that. By the corners of the bar, and by the furthest walls there were a few individuals who stood out despite being shrouded by shadows. They, unlike the other people present, wore dark worn-out clothes with a blaster strapped to their waist. They mostly stood apart, and kept to themselves, keeping a wary eye on their surroundings as they drank. Naturally, they were all different and yet they had something in common, their tired and mistrustful eyes trained on those who behaved like there wouldn't be a tomorrow.

The year is 34 ABY, the war between the New Republic and the First Order is ongoing, which means that these are dangerous times and while some can afford to be careless others cannot. None knew this more than the two men sitting in a booth in a dark corner of the bar, their faces barely visible in the shadows.

"Mission," responded one of the men, taking a drink from the glass in front of him.

The man was a little tall, with wavy dark brown, neck length hair. His eyes were the same colour as his hair. For clothes, he wore a brown jacket with a white shirt underneath it. He wore brown pants with a holster and blaster strapped to his waist. On the side of his coat there stood proudly the resistance symbol glinting from the lights. When it comes to physical appearances he is rather handsome, especially with his half-smile and eyes that sparkled with confidence. From his uniform, and his cocky disposition it was clear to all who looked at him that this man is a Resistance pilot.

"I figured, who would go to Jakku on their own volition?" Asked the other man who rested his hand lazily on the rim of his glass.

This man was taller than the other one, above average in fact. His hair was jet black and far longer than the other man's. His clothes were similar to the other man's, but his jacket was black instead of brown and so was the shirt underneath it, not to mention that his jacket bore no symbol. Much like everyone else, he had a blaster strapped to his waist. He is a handsome man, but while the other man appeared more rugged his complexion was smooth and almost young, made specially by his soft long hair that was pushed back.

The man with brown hair put down his drink and smirked at his friend with amusement.

"Why not? heard Jakku is nice this time of year."

The other man rolled his eyes unamused. He grabbed the glass in front of him and took a large gulp of his drink, finishing it in one go.

"Seriously, why Jakku?" The raven-haired asked his friend, grimacing a little from the burn of the drink and looking up.

The other man shrugged.

"Sorry Kylo, that's confidential, I already told you too much as it is. This is supposed to be a super-secret mission if the General finds out I told someone, she'll have my neck"

Kylo visibly tensed at the mention of the General, knowing full well who Poe meant, but he didn't say anything on that matter.

"Right, all the more reason you shouldn't go."

Poe leaned back on the booth, and put his hands behind his head, adopting a more relaxed posture.

"Relax mom," he teased with an overconfident smile.

Kylo huffed, and leaned back on his seat, folding his legs.

His friend's overconfidence irked him, and he made it known on many occasions, but Poe either didn't notice or didn't care. Honestly, at the pace he's going he'll get blown up in a mission one day. Everyone told him so, but Poe's always been like that even in the academy. Headstrong and unaware of his mortality, but hey that's one of the things that make him an interesting person to hang around, much better than his coworkers.

"Can't you at least give me a clue? You dragged me all the way here on my day off to tell me you got some super-secret mission and you won't even give me a miserable clue?" He huffed.

Poe kept looking at him not at all convinced, he appeared amused in fact.

Kylo huffed once more and leaned forward a little.

"Come on, you've known me since the academy, it's not like I'm gonna blab to the First Order."

Poe still didn't look convinced as he crossed his arms stubbornly.

Kylo leaned back and shook his head knowing that there was no point, not when it came to Poe and his role in the resistance.

You see, Poe is a Resistance pilot and the best one at that. For reasons unknown to him, seeing as his friend is as irresponsible as they come, Poe is a commander, a rank he supposed he achieved due to his sheer determination, fearlessness, and devotion. Yes, that had to be it. Because everyone knows that Poe, though he may be careless and headstrong, he's fully committed to the resistance, he has been even before he joined it and when he was a simple student at the academy. As for Kylo, well he didn't really understand his friend's devotion to the rebel organization, not that he's a First Order sympathizer either he just wanted to remain as far as possible from all that war bullshit.

Neither spoke further on the matter as they continued to drink and talk about other things, ordering drinks every now and again.

Time passed, and once people were starting to head out, and the robots began to clean everything and put the chairs and empty glasses away Kylo took a large gulp of what remained of his drink.

"It's getting late, I gotta fly some cargo to Coruscant early tomorrow," Kylo grumbled, taking out some credits to pay for his drinks.

Poe looked at him in disbelief at the mention of his job.

"Still wasting your time with that job?" Asked Poe, taking out some credits of his own.

Kylo didn't look at his friend as he shrugged, and put the credits in the middle of the table. A small compartment instantly opened swallowing the credits and closing. A hologram of a beautiful twi'lek appeared thanking him but he didn't even glance at it as he got up.

"It's not as glamorous as being a resistance pilot, but it's honest work."

He watched as Poe paid for his drinks, and stood up. He was standing in front of him, looking at him exasperated.

"Yea Yea I've heard the whole spiel before."

"Then why ask?"

Poe leaned on the booth and crossed his arms.

"Simple, because you're a great pilot and I hate watching you waste your life doing a job anyone can do."

A moment of silence passed between them as Kylo looked at Poe for a brief second, then turned and left. He didn't appear to be angry by his friend's comment, but he did look annoyed. He wasn't going to have this argument with Poe again, not today.

He vaguely heard Poe follow after him as they exited the bar. It was mostly empty at this point so it was easier to get through the large crowds of people.

Once the doors slid open cold, fresh air instantly hit him, a complete contrast to the stuffy air inside the bar filled with the smell of sweat, alcohol and sex.

Kylo closed his eyes for a brief second and took a deep breath.

He enjoyed the environment the bar offered, it allowed him to blow off some steam and not think about anything but the drink in front of him and the occasional girl that would come seeking him out. But there's only so long one can keep themselves busy, reality always hits back no matter what.

Kylo didn't look back at his friend as he began to walk away from the bar. Knowing that their get together was over.

If Poe is headstrong, then he is difficult, or so people would say and he honestly doesn't blame them for saying that. He's not out here to make friends, he's not out here to do much of anything but for whatever reason Poe seems to like him enough to be his friend and come visit him in his free time, why? He honestly wouldn't know. Apparently, it has something to do with him speaking his mind, and not conforming to anything... or something along those lines. Regardless, it may have taken him a long time but he's come to see Poe as a friend, but that doesn't mean he'll stand around and let him question his life decisions either.

"Kylo… come on buddy," Poe called, putting a hand on his shoulder, causing Kylo to stopped and turn.

"You know I only say that cause you're a good friend right?" He asked, unsure. "It really does baffle me how you're still here wasting your life away."

Kylo rolled his eyes and made to turn but Poe's grip tightened and he spoke up again.

"look I'm not saying you should join the resistance, but at least get a better job. With your skills you could probably be a captain of some fancy cruiser, travelling around the galaxy to the most luxurious destinations. And hell if that isn't for you then become a teacher at the academy, I'm sure they'll accept you, what with your grades and all."

Kylo still didn't say anything as he looked at his friend. He wanted to simply brush him off as he usually did with everyone else, but he knows Poe genuinely cares about him, for some reason, not to mention that he isn't wrong. He could get a much better job, something that will at least let him pay off the hole he calls home and afford a better living, but there's more to it than that, there always is.

"I don't know how many times I have to repeat this," Kylo huffed. "I like my job, it may not be much, but I prefer it over some big paying one with a lot of responsibilities."

That was a big lie, and he knows that Poe knows it, but it's the best he can do. There's no way he could tell him the truth. He couldn't tell anyone the truth.

Poe sighed and shook his head, looking disappointed but he appeared to let go of the matter as he let go of his shoulder and stepped back.

"Well, at least you're happy," Poe conceded, and Kylo felt relieved that he wasn't pressing on the matter as he usually did.

"But anyway, I gotta go too, I'm supposed to report back at the station early in the morning."

Kylo nodded and his eyes softened a little as he looked at his friend. Poe may annoy him at times, and he sometimes wonders why he's his friend, but one thing will always be true, he doesn't want to see him get hurt. Unfortunately, that's the nature of their lives, with neither one knowing when their time to kick the bucket will come and now with this unknown mission, this could very well be the last time he sees Poe, his only friend.

"Gonna miss me?" Poe asked with a cocky smile, knowing what he was thinking.

Kylo snorted and shook his head.

"There isn't much to miss, believe me."

Poe acted hurt but didn't answer with a comeback as he usually did, instead he shook his head and gave him a genuine smile.

"Well, may the force be with you then," Poe said, and Kylo rolled his eyes.

"You know I don't believe in that superstitious shit," he shot back but Poe merely smiled, and gave him a lazy salute as a goodbye.

With that Poe turned and began to walk away, towards the crowds of people. However, before he disappeared he stopped and looked over his shoulder, and said something Kylo didn't expect.

"Luke Skywalker."

Time seemed to stop at the mention of that name.

Kylo's reaction was instant as every bone in his body tensed up, his brows furrowing and his nose flaring. Flashes of a green lightsaber quickly flew past his memories, a burning temple, people screaming and begging for help, a dark voice encouraging him to give in to the darkness and participate in the massacre….

The same memories kept repeating over and over again, causing him to barely notice Poe talking again.

"You said you wanted a clue right? Well there it is, now you can't say I never tell you anything"

Thankfully that snapped him out of his thoughts as he understood what Poe was referring to. Kylo shook his head and blinked rapidly before Poe noticed his reaction, and met his eyes once more. He quickly noticed that Poe was frowning, and looking at him worriedly. However, before he could ask Kylo shook his head again.

"Nice to know the Resistance is wasting their time out searching for some fairy tale," he scoffed jokingly, even though he was still shaken.

Poe shrugged.

"Who knows man, sometimes fairy tales turn out to be real."

And with that Poe smiled and disappeared behind the large crowd, not knowing how true his words were.

No one knew better than he that sometimes fairy tales do turn out to be true, but Kylo had enough experience to know that they were usually never how one would envision them.

Kylo didn't think too much on things as he turned and began to walk the other way, towards his home, trying his best to forget everything.

~ K~

Kylo slid the broken door to his apartment softly, not wanting to disturb the sullustan landlady that lives across th

e hall. He's behind on his rent by a month, and he didn't want more trouble.

The lights instantly lit up as he walked in, revealing a small space with a kitchen, bed, a hologram and not much else. The lights weren't all working, some of them flickering, but it was enough to reveal the greasy walls, dirty dishes, and the corners that were rotting with mould. Overall it was a disgusting, and small apartment, but it was home.

There were two other doors in the apartment but he didn't even look at them as he went straight to his bed and sat on it, causing the old worn frame to creak.

He proceeded to remove his worn-out boots. He then removed his shirt and jacket, leaving his upper body bare and revealing faded scars that littered his body. Lastly, he unbuckled his holster with his blaster and placed it on the crumbling bedside table. In the end, he was left with just his trousers, ready to sleep. He didn't own any other set of clothes, especially not ones for sleeping, so this had to do. However, instead of going to sleep as he should, he clicked on the hologram to whatever it was that came up.

A woman and a man appeared, they were talking about the news. Again he didn't pay any attention to what they were saying, he merely wanted some noise to fill the silent space.

Kylo leaned back on his bed to rest his back against the wall. He groaned a little from the pain as his bare skin touched the cold surface. He had a particularly tough day at work today and his muscles ached from overuse.

As he laid there, barely looking at the hologram, he tried his damnedest not to think about anything, to simply drown out any thoughts. Unfortunately, he found couldn't do that, his thoughts kept going back to that name.

Luke Skywalker.

He gritted his teeth in anger.

Just the thought of that name caused a deep untempered anger flow through him that if unleashed could destroy everything around him.

Kylo balled his hands into fists, his knuckles tightening and his nose flared as he tried to calm himself down, but it was easier said than done.

Anger comes easy to him, that was his whole problem. It's been a few years since the last time he lost his temper and when that happened he destroyed his apartment to such a level that he had to move out and bribe the owner not to tell anyone anything. The last thing he needs is to have the Republic order a full-on investigation, and thus have people following him around. Though he liked to think the opposite, people aren't as stupid as he would hope, they'll be able to tell that the damaged done to the apartment wasn't caused by a blaster. That being said, he rather not have a repeat of that, not when he's finally starting to settle down.

Knowing what's at stake, Kylo closed his eyes and took several deep breaths. It took him a while but he eventually forgot the name Luke Skywalker thanks to and old breathing exercise the very same man had taught him.

Slowly he unclenched his fists as the last remnants of anger left him.

He reopened his eyes and looked at the hologram and noticed that it had changed to the morning news, meaning that he really needs to go to sleep. He rather not be kept awake by caf tomorrow.

He stood up from his bed and turned off the hologram, and turned to get back to bed, but just as he was about to he froze.

The hairs at the back of his neck rose up as he felt a shiver run down his spine.

Behind him, behind the locked door, it was calling him.

He slowly turned and looked at the door, appearing almost frightened, half expecting it to be open, but it wasn't, it was locked as it's always been.

This was far from the first time he's felt this, and by now one would expect him to be used to it but he wasn't, he never was.

Usually, he would ignore the calling, thinking that it's probably just in his head, but he found he couldn't today. He robotically reached for the lock pad, not really conscious as to what he was doing. He pressed his hand on the scanner and the lock beeped as the door slid open for him.

One would think there would be a beast of grand monstrosity inside with the way he was behaving, but the room was nearly empty were it not for the large compartment at the end of the room. No lights illuminated his way as he walked inside, going straight to the compartment.

Every step he took the closer he got, and the stronger the calling grew. It was an odd feeling, like something was gnawing at his thoughts, and pressing into his very soul, like a raging storm that would tear him apart if he wasn't careful. It was an odd, and not a pleasant feeling at all but he couldn't stop himself from walking closer and closer to the compartment.

His brows furrowed in concentration as he finally stood in front of the compartment, the strange feeling at its peak but he didn't stop there. He reached for the storage and opened it.

Without any lights, except for the stream of light bleeding into the room from the outside, it was hard to see what the object was but he didn't need to see. To him, it was blinding, like a beacon calling at him.

For a brief moment, he simply stood there looking inside the compartment, wondering whether he should grab it or not. It was after what felt like hours that he decided to reach for the object, and brought it to the light, revealing a crossguard lightsaber.

Kylo's eyes instantly widened, his breath catching at the feeling of familiarity and completeness he felt by merely holding his old lightsaber.

His lips quirked up into smile, the first genuine smile in a very long time. The feeling was so intoxicating, and elating that he wondered why he ever put his lightsaber away? Why separated himself from his precious weapon? From something that was an extension of himself, and part of him? He should just keep it on him at all tim-

"No," he said to himself harshly, remembering the sounds of screams and pleads for help as vividly as when he had heard them years ago.

Kylo shook away the memory and put his lightsaber inside the compartment with finality. He couldn't take it, couldn't open himself to that world again because if he does he will lose himself, twist into something unrecognizable, and then he will find him.

Fear shot through him like a fiery iron at the thought of being found, especially by him.

Without looking back Kylo closed the compartment and exited the room, feeling the lightsaber call him back more strongly than it did before but he didn't pay any attention to it this time. As he exited the room he closed the door shut, shrouding the room in total darkness once again

I hope you liked this pilot chapter, and hope you read the next one!