Falling For You (Again and Again)

Dedicated to Elizabeth -

GGE 2019 - Prompts used: Wolfstar, Any AU, marriage, hurt/comfort, saving a life, adoption (well, sort of…), family

Written for (a lot of things - the rest are listed at the bottom):

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry: Demonology - Task 1 - Write about someone falling from grace or a position of power (it can be a fallen angel)

Note: Stories contains the following:

Child Neglect (to the same level as other fics - anyone who has read my stuff knows how I write Sirius' upbringing)

Religious Stuff - The story is about an Angel after all (though it's not an accurate portrayal so...)

Omegaverse. Not a warning, merely a promise of goodness to come.

MPreg. See above line. The MPreg happens off-screen though...

Italics are flash forwards rather than flash backs...

Moony has never felt pain before. Angels don't feel that sort of thing, they avoid emotions, feelings. They can't feel physical pain.

Ash falls around him as his whole body seems to burn. He's never felt pain before, but already he knows that he'll never feel something this painful ever again. Human bodies aren't made to survive through this level of pain, of damage. He's only managing because he's not human.

"Is this what dying feels like?" he whispers.

"I wouldn't know, but… but I think it'll be over soon, okay? Just hold on — you've got this! I've got you!"

~o~

It's a great honour to be picked to be a Guardian Angel. Well, it's a low rank for an Angel, the first rung of the ladder, as it were. But to be chosen, to be granted the privilege to walk on Earth and help someone is indeed an honour. To prove one's worth, to make a difference in someone's life.

Becoming a Guardian Angel is his dream.

Time works strangely in Heaven and the Angel doesn't know how long he's existed there. But he feels ready to go out and do the Lord's work. He feels like he's been waiting too long, but he would never complain. They'll pick him when they believe him to be ready.

So when a prayer is finally sent his way — when he's finally given one to listen to — he's pleased.

Pleased for all of ten seconds because when he meditates, letting the prayer play out in his mind, the contents of the message carry a heavy burden, one that is now shared with the Angel.

"I… I don't know… if anyone is listening… It's just so dark and scary. I'm scared. I'm really scared. I don't like this, but they… they won't open the door to morning and I don't want to be alone. Please. If anyone hears me, please help me. Please don't let me be alone in here."

The prayer is broken up by small sobs and sniffles and it touches something inside of the Angel. He quickly pushes away emotions. Angels are supposed to have a handle on things like emotions. They can feel, but not to the extent that mortals can. They have to be above their emotions — things go wrong when Angels allow emotions to guide them.

The Angel had hoped that his first assignment would have him walking on God's Earth, seeing the planet finally, but he can tell that's not what he will be doing. He'll get to do that sort of thing soon enough, but right now someone needs him and this child can't wait. The child matters more than the Angel's desire to see the Earth. He doesn't waste time in tracing the origin of the prayer — he needs to get to his first charge as quickly as possible.

He stands from his mediation and extends his hand. He's practised so many times, and this is the first time he's actually using a path he's summoned himself. The air shimmers and the Angel steps forward into the space he's created.

The room he moves into is dark. Pitch black, but his eyesight is above that, and he takes a moment to glance around. A sniffle in the corner gives away the boy's location before the Angel's eyes can finish scouring the rest of the room.

"Are you okay?" the Angel asks softly, so as to not scare the boy. He can only see the top of the boy's head, and takes a moment to assess the state of the boy. He can't sense any illness or any physical hurt thankfully. He can see the boy is shaking, his knees are pulled up towards his body and he's resting his head against them. His arms are wrapped tightly around his legs,

The boy raises his head quickly at the Angel's words, shocked that someone else is there with him. "Who are you?" he demands, his voice sounding raspy and drained from the crying. "How did you get in here?"

"I'm here to sit with you tonight. To keep you safe. Would you like that?" He keeps his voice as gentle as he can and waits for a reply. The last thing he wants to do is scare this boy.

The boy hesitates and the sniffling stops. The Angel can see in the dark that the boy is hastily wiping his eyes on the sleeve of his shirt and trying to compose himself. "I'm not a baby. I can… I can look after myself. I can keep myself safe!"

"How about we sit together and keep each other safe?" the Angel offers, his voice softening a little bit more. This is his first charge, and he doesn't want to mess up.

"I suppose I can help you stay safe too," the boy offers after a moment of hesitation. "You look smaller than me. You need protecting. I protect my brother sometimes too. He's too little to come down here, so I make sure he doesn't. I'll look after you, don't you worry." The quiver of his voice gives him away.

"That's kind of you," the Angel tells him. If this child feels better by putting on a brave face, who is the Angel to argue that? Whatever works in the situation. He'll learn how to best support his charge, and his charge will learn that he doesn't have to pretend like this in the Angel's presence.

"There shouldn't be any other children in here," the boy adds after a moment. He frowns. "Why are you even here? It's freezing and you might get ill. You should probably go."

The Angel glances down at himself. He's never considered things like age, but he seems small in size. He's not curious about that though. Angels can change their shapes and sizes he believes, so it's clear that he's subconsciously chosen a small, child-like stature in order to make this boy more at ease.

Yes, that's clearly it.

He sits down on the floor, next to the boy. "I have a blanket. Would you like to share?" he asks. One appears at his side and he throws it over them, making sure the young boy is covered. He barely has it on himself. He doesn't feel things like cold, but he's sure the basement is freezing from the way this small child is shivering.

The boy shivers for a short time afterwards, but the warmth from the blanket helps and after a few minutes, he seems calmer, less on edge. The Angel is glad — the blanket is made to be so warm it can keep any chill at bay. The boy should also find the floor a little bit softer to sit on, and not cold in the slightest, though he doesn't comment and the Angel chooses to stay quiet too.

"I ruined the dinner party," the boy tells him after a long silence. "Me and Regulus, but I told Mother it was just me. I didn't want Regulus to come down here. He's scared of the dark. He's not grown up like me."

"How old are you?" the Angel asks.

"I'm eight. He's just turning seven. So he's still actually six. I have to look after him. My name is Sirius by the way. I'm named after a star, but the best one of course."

The Angel is touched by Sirius' words. The way he's protecting his brother. It's just sad that these children even need protecting, but he has his assignment and doesn't want to start questioning why he can't just fly these two boys away when he gets his wings. Getting them away from the dark auras that roam on the floor above seems like the most logical thing, but the Angel knows that's not something he would be approved to do.

"Why don't we take turns to keep each other safe from the dark?" The Angel suggests. "We can take turns to sleep while the other watches. The night will go quicker that way."

"You're right," Sirius says. "I should stay up first. I have to look after you. The dark is scary… to little kids I mean. I'm not scared!" The tone of his voice made it clear otherwise.

"Well, if I watch first, that way you can keep watch when it gets really very late," The Angel tells him.

"Yeah. That makes sense. I should be the one watching when it's in the middle of the night. That's when it's darkest," Sirius agrees. "But if you're scared you can wake me, okay? It wouldn't be fair if I let you stay awake but you were really scared." In the dark he grabs the Angel's hand and stares at the shadows with wide eyes, as though there's something there. The Angel sees nothing though.

"I will."

Sirius rests his head on the Angel's shoulder. "Don't leave me alone," he whispers as though scared someone else will hear. His grip tightens on the Angel's hand.

"I'll be here when you wake up," the Angel promises. "I'm not scared of the dark either, and I'll stay watch until you wake up."

"You didn't tell me your name," Sirius points out. "I told you mine. You're supposed to say yours, then we would shake hands, but you haven't introduced yourself. Mother wouldn't like you." His tone takes an upbeat turn. "But that's okay."

"I don't have a name," the Angel insists.

"That's silly," Sirius scoffs. "Didn't your Mother or Father give you a name?"

"No," he replies softly.

"Well, I can fix that. I can think of a good one. But maybe in the morning."

"You should think about that when you go to sleep," the Angel insists gently. "I can keep watch properly when you sleep."

"Good idea. Talking can distract us and then something could come out of the dark…" Sirius trails off, his voice starting to show his fear again.

"I'm here," the Angel assures him. "I'll keep you safe, okay? I promise I'll keep you safe."

He expects for Sirius to tell him he doesn't need to be kept safe, but Sirius is looking at him with a glimmer of hope in his eyes. "Really?" he whispers, as though scared that the people above will hear.

"That's why I'm here. Just so you won't be alone, just so you'll feel safe."

"Okay," Sirius replies uncertainty. Still, he moves and lays his head on the Angel's shoulder. "This means you're my friend, I think. Friends do favours for their friends. I heard Father tell someone that. He said they'd owe him a favour. So I owe you a favour?"

"You never owe me anything," the Angel assures him. "If I do something kind for you, it's not because I expect something nice back."

Sirius considers his words for a long moment. "So you do something nice because you just want to be nice?" he checks.

"Yes." The Angel nods softly, trying not to dislodge Sirius' head. "It's better to do good things just because you're a good person. I think you're a good person."

"Mother says I'm horrible; that I'm nasty." He's sad now.

"I don't believe that to be true," the Angel insists. He shouldn't feel this anger and he tries to push it down — Angels are above these emotions after all.

"How do you know?" Sirius asks. There's a hint of desperation now, as though he needs someone to assure him he's not a bad person.

"Because you're here instead of your brother. Because you look after him and protect him. Because you don't know me, but you offered to look after me too."

"You're nice too. Can you stay?" Sirius whispers.

"I can't stay... but I can be here until morning," the Angel assures him. "Will that be okay?"

Sirius nods, settling properly against his shoulder again. Minutes pass and the Angel concludes the conversation is over. It doesn't take much longer before Sirius' breathing changes and he falls asleep, warm, comfortable, and not scared by the shadows.

The Angel has done the task set before him, but still he sits through the night, his eyes watching the shadows. He knows full well that there is nothing there, but Sirius is scared and the Angel is determined to keep him safe.

And he's not going to break his promise.

…

Morning comes quickly and the Angel wakes Sirius from his sleep. It takes Sirius a moment to realise where they are, and to remember the previous night, but his eyes dart to the darker side of the room. "My turn to watch? Okay, you go to sleep."

"It's morning," the Angel tells him. "I think people are awake now."

Sirius looks away from the dark. "You watched for the whole night? Why?"

The Angel smiles. "I wasn't tired," he tells Sirius. "And I wanted to keep you safe."

"I… I told you that I'm a grown up boy and—"

"We're friends," the Angel tells him. "It means that if you're scared of being in here, I'm not going to tell people your secret, okay? You can tell me that you're scared or talk to me about anything and I won't betray your confidence."

Sirius hesitates. "Promise?"

"I promise," the Angel insists.

"Fine. I… I'm not scared of the dark. My bedroom is seventy-one dark, but there's light around where the door is open a bit. This room is a hundred dark. A hundred is too much. Like my room is nice and warm because of the radiator, but this room has no radiator and it's a hundred freezing."

The Angel nods. He's assuming the numbers are meant to be a percentage, or are on some sort of scale in Sirius' mind. He doesn't question that though because it's easy enough to understand. "You have the blanket now, it'll help you stay warm down here," the Angel tells him. "Also if you come back here, I'll make sure to keep watch so you can sleep."

"You'll sit with me?" Sirius is hopeful.

"I will. You might not see me every time, but you'll know I'm here. Okay? I'll always watch over you."

Sirius looks doubtful, but the Angel smiles reassuringly.

"I guess… I'll have to trust you on that," Sirius finally replies. "But we're friends, right? That means you won't tell me a lie."

"I promise I'll be here, even if you can't see me — I'm here with you, okay?"

Sirius finally nods. A moment later they hear the sound of the lock being pulled back upstairs. Sirius grabs the blanket, shoving it out of sight before trying to straighten his clothes and look presentable. The Angel just watches sadly. He wants to take this boy away from here. People pray every day for a family, for children. Why can't this boy just be with one of those families who will treat him well? The boy could be so happy, the family that are lucky enough to be his parents would be happy too. For good measure, his brother would go with him and then all of this could be avoided completely. The people upstairs don't deserve to be parents.

"You said you don't have a name, right?" Sirius whispers.

"That's right."

"Well… if you come back, I'll have a name for you," Sirius tells him. "I really want you to come back - you have funny eyes. I like the colour of them, they're nice. You don't have mean eyes."

"Thank you," the Angel whispers as the door upstairs is opened.

"Well? Have you learnt your lesson? Get out of here and get washed, we're having tea at your Aunt Druella's home and if you dare cause more trouble, you'll be back in here. Do you understand?"

"Yes, Mother," Sirius says. His voice has taken on a cold, formal tone. He glances around to see what his new friend is doing, but the Angel is nowhere to be found.

The Angel stares back sadly. He's hidden himself from sight. Neither of these people can see him now. He hates leaving, but he doesn't do so until the boy has made his way up the stairs and out of the cold, drafty basement.

~o~

Moony lays on the chair. The burning has finally stopped, but he can hear the murmur of voices nearby — from the next room, perhaps. Fingers are gently stroking through his hair and the touch makes everything feel a little easier.

"Where does it hurt the most? Is there anything I can do?"

"My back," Moony answers, his voice little more than a whisper. His throat hurts horribly too. "My… throat?"

"James, some water and a straw," his companion calls. Moony's head hurts and he's trying to even recall names at this point. The pain in his head is almost blinding. He can't even see properly. Hands maneuver him from where he's laying, half-on his back, so he's sitting up. "The Lupins are here — from the church. I have their number, we've talked recently. They know everything, and… oh, here. Drink." A straw is pushed against his lips.

Moony does as he's told. He's never felt this urgency to drink anything before, and swallows the water down greedily. The cup is taken away and he feels lost again. He can't think straight. He can't bring himself to consider what's just happened.

"You said your back. Okay, lay on your stomach for a bit. When you feel a bit more steady I'll get you to bed." The same hands gently guide him back onto the sofa. "Close your eyes for a bit. The parents are just talking about medicines and things. We're not sure what to do about them. So, just get some sleep and maybe that'll help you a tiny bit."

"Will you be here?" he finds himself whispering. Nothing adds up in his head, but this is so important. He just knows that the person talking needs to be there. He feels safer with this person next to him.

"Of course I will," comes the reply. "Don't you get it? I will always be here for you. I swear it. I'll do everything in my power to keep you safe and protected."

~o~

Sirius lingers in church at the end of Mass. The priest today talked about Angels and whilst he spoke, something clicked in Sirius' head.

Regulus insisted that it was just a dream. For the past three years, Regulus has been telling him he's making things up, but Sirius knows the truth. Someone was in the basement with him — another child. Someone sat with him, protected him, kept him warm and safe. And now each time Sirius goes back down there, he feels those things once more.

It's like the boy is still there, watching over him — like he promised. Sirius always hopes he'll show himself again, but he doesn't.

There was a time where Sirius wondered if this boy was one of the things from the shadows. Bad people pretended to be good all of the time, like his parents. So maybe good creatures could exist where the bad creatures were meant to be? Maybe that's how he was always there? Maybe he was some sort of shadow-boy?

But when the priest talked about Angels during the service, Sirius' suspicions of the existence of a shadow-boy faded. An Angel. It made much more sense. He had his own Angel to keep him safe and warm.

He waits until the priest is alone before walking over. He's nervous — he's never actually spoken to the priest before, but the man smiles warmly. "Can I help you?" he asks, his voice kind.

"You talked about Angels," Sirius says, playing with the cuff of his shirt nervously. "Angels… do Angels come here often? I mean… if someone was cold or… or scared or just lonely and then… then a boy appeared even though there was no way for anyone else to appear and then it was safe and warm…" he trails off, unsure now. "But then he disappeared again and no-one else saw him. He had really funny gold-ish eyes. They didn't look like other people's eyes and he was super kind."

The priest considers this. "There are lots of stories and talk about Guardian Angels," the man tells him. "And that could very well be one." He stops, glancing up from Sirius as a hand lands on Sirius shoulder.

"Sirius, I hope you're not bothering Father Lupin?"

"Not at all. Your son had a question about Angels from the service today." Father Lyall smiles at Orion, but the smile doesn't seem as genuine as when he smiled at Sirius moments ago. Sirius doesn't blame him — his father isn't a nice man and the priest obviously realises this. "It's a delight to realise that the younger members of the church are listening and are curious."

Orion merely nods. His grip tightens slightly and Sirius whispers a thanks to the priest before he's led away.

"I'll see what further information I can find for you," Father Lyall says from behind him. Sirius doesn't risk turning back. His father is already displeased at having to wait, and Sirius doesn't want to anger the man any more.

But as he gets in the car, he ignores his parents arguing as he stares out of the window.

His very own Angel. For the first time, he feels special — like he matters.

~o~

Everything hurts. The burning finally seems to subside, but his whole body feels like it's gone through the worst ordeal. He doesn't feel like himself — he feels like parts of him are physically missing. But he can't seem to move to assess the situation. He feels like he's been on fire for hours. For all he knows, he has been!

Hands help him to lay down again — this time on his stomach — and he winces as he skin touches the soft corduroy sofa, though there's a different material under his hips and legs. His fingers dig into the sofa as he tries to handle some of the pain, and he winces as a blanket is put over him. It's touch is too much on his back.

He tries to get the words out, but can't quite hear himself anymore. Still, the blanket moves down, covering his lower back and hips. It's still painful but his back has the worst of it. He feels like he's been set aflame. It's hard to remember events since the pain started. A car. Falling. Being carried inside a house. Voices.

He takes a deep breath in. Clearly it was the wrong thing to do because he begins to cough and that causes the pain to intensify. A hand rests on his forearm as he pushes himself up from the sofa slightly in hopes of helping himself.

"Breathe slowly," the man next to him murmurs. "You're okay. I think you're over the worst of it. Lay down, see if you can sleep, yeah?"

He wants to laugh. He doesn't sleep. Doesn't this person know that? He takes a small breath and then another, freezing as he notices the scent filling the room.

"You smell like Heaven," he whispers, his voice coming out rough and croaky. "Better."

"A chuckle. I bet you say that to all the Omegas," his companion teases. "You smell pretty good yourself. Considering you were on fire and all. You smell… you look more real now."

"Real?"

"Yes. Real."

~o~

It feels like no time at all has passed in between his visits, but the Angel is aware that Sirius has ages three years from when their first meeting.

He's been there every time, trying to make the room a little bit lighter, though he's unpractised in this power — Heaven is always light, so he's never had to really consider using magic to produce more — and adding warmth which is something that comes a little easier, as he always desires to be warmer despite Heaven being an apparently perfect temperature.

But he watches the shadows, except when he glances around to check on Sirius — to make sure his charge is safe. Sometimes — though much more rarely, it's a different boy in the basement.

The Angel watches over him too. He's promised to protect Sirius, and Sirius won't feel safe and protected if his brother isn't. He also knows that Sirius himself comes to sit outside of the basement door once his parents are in bed, and whispers kind, reassuring things to his sleeping brother through the door.

…

He hears the prayer. It's got the same urgency to it as the first one and the Angel stops everything and waves his hand. He steps into his created light and is at Sirius' side in seconds.

Sirius doesn't seem shocked. He attempts to smile, but the tears on his cheeks give him away. The Angel reaches out, a tissue appearing in his hand, and he wipes the tears away.

He glances around. "I'm here now," he murmurs. "Where are we going?"

"I was hoping you would be," Sirius says, laughing through tears. "I ran away. I was trying to find James' house — he's my friend — but it got dark and I thought I knew the way but…" he glances around. "If I could just find a bus stop or something, it'd help because they sometimes have maps… or at least I'd have an idea of a direction to go in. But it's dark and… and you know how I feel about the dark. What do I do, Angel?"

The Angel offers his hand. "We'll find somewhere safe," he says. He's not entirely sure how to find Sirius' friend either, but he can feel that there's a church a little while away. Heading there seems like the best option right now. The priest will be able to call Sirius' family, or perhaps even someone who'll find him a new, better family. He assesses the situation — it's almost midnight; almost the next day. He wonders how long Sirius has been on the streets, and is relieved that nothing bad has happened to him.

Sirius takes his hand.

"Come," he says, focusing carefully for a moment before leading them down the street.

"How old are you?" Sirius asks, as they start their new journey.

"I'm… I'm not sure. Time moves differently for me. I could be anywhere from a year old to centuries old."

"I'm twelve," Sirius tells him. "I was eight, the first time we met. Four years between seeing you is a very long time. But you don't look surprised that I look different — I knew you were coming back. It felt nicer a little bit in the basement and I knew it was because you were there."

"Every time," the Angel insists.

"Angel…why me?" Sirius asks as though he's the last person that deserves to be protected. The Angel smiles.

"Because you need me," comes the response. He takes care in crossing the road, though there are no cars about. When they pass under a streetlight, Sirius can see his almost-gold eyes fixed intently on Sirius. "You asked for me, and your prayer was sent my way. How did you know I was an Angel anyway?"

"I told the priest about you after a church service last year," Sirius says. "He talked about Angels and then I thought about you… so I asked him. He shivers, pulling his hand from the Angel's hand so he can rub his bare arms. "Can we fly? Do you have wings?"

"I don't yet," the Angel admits, annoyed at himself for not realising that Sirius would be cold. He brings about a blanket and sets it around Sirius, ensuring its just as warm as the one from the basement. "Is that better?" he checks.

Sirius nods, looking much better, and the Angel takes his hand again. He tries to attune himself to Sirius, and sends healing through where they're touching.

"My whole body feels even warmer," Sirius murmurs, squeezing the Angel's hand. "Are you doing a warming magic?"

"No. Healing. You've been walking around in the dark and cold for hours. I want to make sure you don't get sick. Come, let's walk." He begins to guide them once more.

"I still like your eyes," Sirius blurts out as they turn a corner and see the church in the distance. "They're… pretty."

"Thank you."

"And I still need to give you a name," Sirius tells him. "I can't keep calling you Angel, can I?"

"Not all of us have names. We find out names along the way," the Angel tells him. "Sometimes we choose our own when we understand the world a little bit more. Maybe you can find mine for me?"

"Well... I was just thinking. It's a full moon and you're here, so… Moony?"

The Angel chuckles. "Perhaps not my name, but if you want to call me that until we have another?"

Sirius nods eagerly. "I know this church," he says as they approach. "But won't they be asleep?"

Moony closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. He can sense people in the small house next door to the church. The house is attached to the Church office. He knows that anyone in the service of God would be happy to help a lost child.

He guides them to the small house and presses the doorbell. He's about to let go of Sirius' hand, but Sirius' grip tightens.

"Don't leave me," Sirius begs, turning to the Angel. "Not yet. Please."

Moony knows he should leave now, but he realises he's not as strong as he thought, because he can't bring himself to say no. He nods. "Only for a short time," he tells Sirius.

"Yes, hello?" a voice calls from the other side of the glass.

"Father Lyall, it's Sirius. I… I come to church here. I… I'm lost."

"Hope, please come downstairs, there's a boy here who needs help," they hear the priest call. The locks of the door slide back and it swings open just as a woman appears behind the priest.

"Sirius, is it?" Father Lyall asks, rubbing at his eyes. "And a friend?" He glances at Moony before starting to turn towards his wife, but freezes, turning back. "No," he murmurs.

The woman stares at Moony for a long moment. "Gold," she whispers, her eyes drifting around the air surrounding him. "I've never seen gold before. What are you?"

Sirius shifts the blanket closer to himself and Hope Lupin snaps her attention to him. "Oh goodness, you both must be freezing. Come right in, I'll put the kettle on and get some tea and biscuits for us all. You can sit on the sofa whilst Lyall calls the police to let them know you're here. Your parents must be worried sick!"

"Probably don't even know I'm gone," Sirius says, looking cheerful at the idea of tea and biscuits. "I like two sugars in my tea please."

"Of course, dear." She leads the way into the house, the pair following her, and they hear Lyall pick up the phone to make the call. Hope leads them to the living room and tells them to sit down, before disappearing again.

Sirius arranges the blanket so it covers both of their legs, before leaning his head on Moony's shoulder.

When the tea is ready and the police have been called, the Lupins come back into the living room, their gazes on Moony.

Hope sets the tray down and they pass out the cups, though Moony stares curiously at his.

"Have you never had a cup of tea before?" Sirius asks, aghast. "It's the one good thing about being an adult; you can drink tea all of the time. You're going to love it. But it might be a bit hot, so wait a minute, okay?"

"So… Sirius, your friend…?" Lyall asks, when Sirius stops talking.

"Yeah. I told you about him before. This is my Angel. I call him Moony, but he says that can be a nickname. He doesn't have a name, you see. I was cold and scared and I prayed because I knew he'd come and find me and he appeared, just like that. Doesn't he have such nice eyes!"

"I sensed your church wasn't far," Moony explains. "It made the most sense to bring him here, rather than trying to navigate the roads. I can sense places like this far easier than anything else."

"Well, thank you for bringing him," Lyall says, with a warm smile. "Your presence is… unexpected. But welcome, of course. All are welcome. Is there anything we can do for you?"

"I'm just here to protect Sirius. I would have left when we knocked, but Sirius asked me to stay, so here I am."

Sirius lifts the cup to his lips and takes a sip, before glancing at Moony, and then at his cup. He raises his eyebrows and Moony lists his cup. He doesn't need to eat or drink, but he's curious about why Sirius was so excited to have this drink. He puts the cup to his lips and takes a small sip.

"This is delicious," Moony murmurs, swallowing the bit in his mouth and staring at the brown liquid curiously. No wonder some Angels talk about the food and drink they've experienced in their time on Earth — it's completely amazing. He can't wait to go back and tell the other Angels that he's had his first taste of tea.

"Now try a chocolate biscuit." Sirius is watching him intently, own tea forgotten. "Have you had food before, Moony?"

"You're my first charge," Moony admits. "I haven't tried anything except for this tea."

Sirius' eyes widen. "That means I get to show you all this amazing stuff," he declares. "But first, here. Eat this." He places a biscuit in Moony's hand.

Moony bites into it and he realises that this biscuit is the most amazing thing in existence. "What is this?"

"Chocolate," Sirius says, grinning at the look on Moony's face. "So… what's heaven like? Why did you come to me? Not that I'm complaining. I like having you around." He leans his head on Moony's shoulder. "You're my best friend."

Moony doesn't have friends. Angels don't have attachments like that, but he can't bring himself to tell this child that he can't be friends. He didn't say it when he had first visited, and saying it now may lead Sirius to believe that they had once been friends, but are now not. He doesn't confirm the friendship either, but it appears Sirius is taking the silence as confirmation.

"I can't stay much longer," he tells Sirius softly. "But you can pray when you're next in need…"

Sirius nods, head still against his shoulder. "Will you be gone completely, or will you be hanging around? Just today?"

"I'll keep a watch," Moony assures him. If Sirius does end up at home… the cold, the basement. Moony will never leave him alone to suffer that. "I promise I'll always watch over you, okay?"

Sirius nods. "Yeah. Knowing you're there makes it all easier." He sits up straight when there's a knock at the door.

"Perhaps we don't mention my guardian Angel," Sirius suggests.

"Good idea," Lyall says. "Not everyone believes and I wouldn't know how to explain." He takes the now empty cup from Moony, still watching him curiously. "Thank you for visiting our home," he adds.

"Thank you for the hospitality," Moony replies with a smile. Lyall leaves the room pausing to put the cup in the sink before heading to the front door. There are voices and Hope and Sirius look towards the door.

A smiling policewoman comes in a moment later, and Sirius turns to look for Moony, but Moony is already gone.

Though he still feels his warmth, so he knows Moony is really still there, watching over him.

"I got lost," he begins, as the woman sits down on the sofa, declining a cup of tea. "I was walking around for ages. I forgot a coat and thought I could get to James' house — that's my friend from school. But I saw the spire of the church and then thought about how churches are safe and decided to come here. Father Lyall and his wife have been really nice. They gave me tea and biscuits whilst we waited for you."

Moony returns that night, because Sirius needs him.

~o~

Memories return slowly. Just flashes of things. A name here, an image there, but slowly they piece together. When he opens his eyes, he sees stormy-grey watching him.

"I knew you were awake," Sirius tells him, reaching out to stroke his hair. "It's weird — you're breathing. You never breathed before. You have a pulse too."

"It feels odd," Moony whispers. "Turns out you were right. I'm nineteen. A mortal that was never given the chance at life so I became an Angel instead."

"I hate being right all the time," Sirius jokes. "Well, now you have that very chance. Here. With me… if you want it." There's a knocking at the door and people come in from the kitchen. "He's awake!"

Hope is kneeling on the floor next to him, eyes filled with worry. "Dearest, I never expected it to be like this. We came and saw the gold flames and… how are you feeling?"

"So weak," he whispers. "But I made my choice. I fell for Sirius, to save him. To spend a mortal life with him. What now? I'm still so lost."

She glances up as other people find spaces to sit. Sirius remains kneeling on the floor, and Regulus runs down the stairs and into the room, sharing a nod with Sirius, who nods back.

"Well, we have to get you an identity sorted out, certificates. Perhaps we claim you've lost your memory or something? We're talking about what the best approach is because telling people you're a fallen Angel isn't really an option."

"Whatever you think is best." He sighs, wincing at the pain in his back. "My wings?"

"Gone," Hope says gently. "There are some feathers. James collected them up in case you… you've burns and wounds on your back. They may scar, I'm sorry."

Moony nods slightly but it hurts his head.

"I'll get working on the forms," Charlus Potter offers, sounding a little dazed. "When Sirius said about a Guardian Angel… I imagined he invented this Moony as a way to deal with the life he was living. I never… but he's here now. He's saved Sirius' life so he's family. We'll need a name for him though. We can't put his name down as Moony."

"Remus," Hope says, reaching out to stroke Moony's hair. "Remus Lupin."

Though he's in agony, Remus understands the implications of this. It's a name that Hope has clung to for so many years and she's bestowing it on him as a mother would her child. She's offering her child's name to him and her last name.

She's not too old to have children, and he knows that she could carry on holding onto the name in hopes, but she's choosing to offer it to him instead and that means so much.

He smiles. "I would be honoured to be your son," he whispers.

~o~

Sirius looks dishevelled. His eyes are red. He's been crying again. Though this time he's not in the basement and there seems to be a different kind of upset radiating from him.

He knows Moony is there even before Moony makes himself known.

"I'm an Omega," he blurts out. Panicked eyes move to the door. "I'm an Omega, and I'm gay," he whispers loudly. "Moony, does that mean you can't be my friend anymore?"

"I'm not sure I understand," Moony tells him, confused.

"Because being gay is… is a sin and stuff, and you're an Angel," Sirius explains. He's got a fearful tone. "Because I sinned today. Mother thinks male Omegas are… are bad. She thinks being gay is worse. I'm scared of what she's going to do. I've been so scared to call on you… but I need you."

"Do you want to talk about it?" Moony offers gently.

"I've kissed a couple of guys. We... He asked to have sex, but… I didn't want that so I came home. Then I realised… what if I lose you because of this? You matter to me more than anything, more than anyone. I don't want to lose you." There are tears on his cheeks. Moony hasn't seen Sirius cry in years. He tries to work out how long it's been since Sirius has called on him. There haven't been any basement incidents for over a year now. "How old are you now?"

"Fifteen, almost sixteen," Sirius says, sniffing. "I've been an Omega for about… about six months. Maybe a bit less. We thought I'd be a Beta because time was passing and I hadn't presented."

"God doesn't judge, despite what people try and say. God created man — if he wanted men to only be with women, he could have bent them to his will and made it so they didn't have a choice, but he gave everyone free will. Love matters, no matter the person's gender, no matter the second-gender. God made it so males could be Omegas, it's all a part of his plan for this world — and no, you won't lose me. I swear." He takes a moment, allowing the words to sink in, and there's a hint of a smile on Sirius' lips. "And in Heaven, we consider Omegas very important," he adds. He refrains from mentioning how everyone is important in Heaven. Sirius needs to hear that he's important.

In Moony's eyes, Sirius is more important than anyone.

Silence follows, but Sirius seems calmer now. Moony can take time to assess things a bit better. He can see Sirius is emotionally distraught, but not physically hurt. He doesn't like the idea of Sirius being with someone who doesn't deserve him. Something dark settles inside of him at the idea of someone taking advantage of Sirius and he tries to push the feeling away, unsure what it all means.

"But you're upset about the situation with your partner earlier," Moony continues calmly. "I think you're being pushed into something when you're not ready, and you're worth so much more than that, Sirius. You deserve the world. Don't allow anyone to rush you into anything, okay?"

Sirius nods, though Moony can tell he's a little uncertain about it.

"I would ask you to promise me that you'll wait until you are ready, but… but I can't ask for your work. I only ask that you really think about your actions and that you're happy with everything that is happening or about to happen. I don't want to have to come down here and hurt someone because they rushed you or hurt you." His words put the smile back on Sirius' lips.

"I can't imagine you hurting anyone," Sirius tells him.

"For you…" Moony trails off. For Sirius, he'd break his vows against harming a human. He can't bring himself to finish the sentence. He's clearly just caught up in the moment, that's all. He's just gotten a little too attached to his first charge. But he's pretty sure he'd destroy anyone who hurt his Sirius.

"It happens to the best of us," Kingsley had told him during one of their talks. "Sometimes we care too much when we're not supposed to. As long as you're aware and you take steps to detach yourself when you can… but it's our job to protect, and sometimes that causes us to feel protective. We, as Angels, need to control our emotions so we can better help those that call for us. You'll learn over time. You're still young after all, we've all been there."

"Guardian Angels don't hurt, they protect," Moony tells him instead. "I'll protect you from hurt. If you're ever in doubt, call for me, okay? If anyone even attempts to do anything that you don't like, I'll be at your side the moment you call for me."

Sirius nods. She sniffs again and Moony has a tissue ready to wipe the tears. When his hand brushes against Sirius, face, Sirius covers Moony's hand with his own for a moment. He turns his head against Moony's wrist and takes a deep breath. This is new. Moony stares, feeling like he's missing something, but he's not quite sure what. Whatever it is, he suspects it's something important, something big. Something meaningful. But Sirius doesn't explain his actions, and Moony isn't sure whether to ask.

It's a human thing, he decides, when Sirius finally lets go. "I'd protect you too, though I doubt it means as much. I don't have powers or anything… but if you ever need anything… I mean, I'm here if you ever need me too. I really care about you," Sirius tells him.

Moony smiles. "It means a lot," he assures Sirius, because it does. It's just the sort of kind gesture he expects from someone with such a beautiful soul. Though he knows that God cares about all his creations and that includes him, he's deeply touched by Sirius' words. Sirius cares about him. He's filled with a warmth at the very thought. "I care about you too. But I must go now."

"Angel business?" Sirius asks. Moony grins and nods. "I'm always listening to your prayers. I promise that."

"I know," Sirius whispers. "I just… I just want you to stay. It's a shame you can't… it's a shame you have to always go." Moony goes to open his mouth to explain, but Sirius just shakes his head. "I get it — you're different to me, but that doesn't matter. It's never mattered. You're everything, Moonpie. If I only get to see you a handful of times throughout my life, I'll accept that because it's better than not having you around at all."

"Time works differently up there," Moony explains patiently. "I'm here when you really need me. I'm always watching over you, listening for distress. I swear you'll always be safe with me. Years are passing here, but it's not feeling like that up there."

"I know. Ever since that first day… I've felt safer." He hesitates for a long moment. "Is there anything I can do to make you come here more often? What if I went to church more? Prayed more? Would anything help?"

Moony doesn't want to give Sirius false hope that he'll come more often, but maybe he can try. After all, Sirius is clearly being led astray by other guys who aren't worthy of him, and he will need to ensure that none of them hurt him.

"How old are you now, anyway?" Sirius asks. "Because you said before time works differently, but you always seem around my age."

"How do you know I'm not making myself appear the same age as you to… to make this all easier?" Moony asks.

Sirius shrugs. "It's the way you talk. I'd imagine Guardian Angels to be more… wise. I mean, I think you're wise, but not as wise as someone who has been around for like a million years or something. I think you're younger than you realise. I actually have a theory that you're the age you appear to be. Am I right?"

Moony just shakes his head slightly. "I don't have an answer," he replies. "Maybe one day I'll find out."

~o~

"Nineteen? It hasn't been that long since I last saw you?" Moony asks, when the Lupins and Potters have left the room. James and Regulus are lurking at the small table on the other side, though they're both looking over protectively, warily.

"Well, it feels like a long time," Sirius replies. "A… a lot has happened. I mean… I've wanted to call for you — so badly. I needed you more than anything, but… but I was scared that if I did… I didn't want to cause you further distress. I didn't want to put you in a position where you were forced to choose between me and something that meant the world to you."

Remus reaches out for Sirius' hand. It hurts to move, but their fingers entwine anyway.

"I was stupid," Remus murmurs. "I should have fallen sooner. I should have… It wasn't until I found out you were supposed to die, that I realised that I would give up anything for you. I'd have given up my life for yours if that was the cost. The alternative was being together in Heaven — it wouldn't have been frowned upon, but the thought of you dying was the most terrifying thing ever. I was a terrible Angel anyway."

"Were you? You protected me, kept me safe, cared for me."

"Gave into temptation with you," Remus murmured. "Angels aren't supposed to… but the ones that were once mortal feel human emotions, so it's no surprise that I fell in love with you."

"You don't regret falling?"

"I hate that I broke the rules that were set before me, but I don't regret a single moment or single choice when it comes to you," Remus insists. "But you're going to have to teach me the human lifestyle. How to do… well, anything. I may be a burden."

"You're never a burden."

"And I'd like to find something to do to protect people. I failed as an Angel, but perhaps as a mortal, I'll have better luck."

Sirius smiles gently. "Speaking of protecting, there's something… Moonpie, there's something you really should know. Can you sit up?"

Remus nods and Sirius helps him into a sitting position. The pain is still really bad and he feels like he's about to pass out, but he perseveres. The pain is a little less than it had been earlier, and he knows eventually it'll be gone.

"Uh… so… that night we spent together. All that sex… well, I've only ever slept with you, right?"

Remus nods, glad that Sirius hasn't been with anyone else.

"Well, a few weeks after arriving here, I realised something. I was unwell."

"You should have called me. I'd have helped you get better," Remus insists.

"Not like that," Sirius tells him. "I went to the doctor and he said that it's because I… Moonpie, I've got something amazing to show you. The truth is... I was pregnant. Love, it's a big thing… we're parents. Me and you."

It really is a big thing. Remus can't think of a reply. He can't formulate a response. He doesn't know what to do. He has a child?

"James, Regulus could you…"

The pair leave the room and Remus hears them going upstairs.

"You have a family now. One that you can help me protect, if you still want us."

Remus glances up at Sirius, who clearly looks terrified that Remus is going to turn his back on them after everything. Remus shakes his head. "I'm not going anywhere," he whispers, taking Sirius' hand. "I love you, I want a life with you. I… I never considered… but I… I will be at your side through everything."

Sirius grins, relieved. "Maybe we should get married one day."

"There's nothing I'd love more than to marry you."

~o~

"Moony, please. Moony… I need… Please!"

It's a different level of urgency this time. It's not panicked and scared, but there's still a desperation which brings Moony to Sirius' side at once. What he sees, however, is certainly not what he was expecting.

Sirius is sweating, flushed. His eyes are closed, his head thrown back. His hair, formerly in a bun, is coming loose on the pillow around him. Bits of hair are sticking to his forehead.

Moony's gaze moves down. He wonders if Sirius is ill and is about to reach out, when he realises that Sirius is completely naked. A blanket is caught around his feet as though he's urgently kicked it away. He can't tear his eyes away.

"Fuck, Moony," Sirius mutters. "Want you."

"I… I don't understand," Moony says, completely lost. Sirius' eyes shoot open and his hands flail from his lap to the blanket, which he hastily pulls over himself.

"Moony." Sirius sounds completely flustered. "What are you… did you like what you see?" the question, though Moony suspects Sirius had attempted to sound his usual cheeky self whilst talking, comes across with a slight desperation and he isn't sure how to answer.

"You… you called me," Moony tells him. He considers where Sirius' hands were and suddenly he realises exactly what Sirius was doing. He feels his cheeks burning. "I… I shouldn't… I shouldn't be here. Can I at least check. Are you sick or… or just… you're not sick, are you? You're…" he gestures to Sirius' forehead. "I…"

"Just starting my heat," Sirius whispers. "Do you want to stick around for a bit?" His hand slides under the blanket. "I mean, I didn't expect you to…" His gaze drifts down Moony's body. "But you're here, and the very person I wanted to see."

Moony disappears as fast as he possibly can.

Of course Sirius didn't want him to stay for any sexual reason. He's just in his heat, Moony tells himself. He can't explain why he feels so hot and bothered by what he's seen. Perhaps this is what mortals call embarrassment?

Embarrassment doesn't quite fit though, but he's too scared to examine the emotions — too scared on what else it could be.

~o~

"Amaris," Sirius says, gently lifting the little girl into Remus' arms. His own hands hover, are clearly nervous. "It means… child of the moon, because your nickname is Moony. But it also means 'given by God' and it just seemed… yeah."

Remus glances over to where Regulus is holding a second bundle, before glancing down at this little girl. The girl he's going to spend his life protecting. Her eyes flutter open and he notices the amber of her eyes.

"She has beautiful eyes," Sirius adds, following his gaze. "I wasn't quite sure why they were amber at first… but your eyes… they're not gold anymore, love. So… maybe it's your genetics, or maybe it's an Angel thing. Your eyes are amber, just like hers."

"She's beautiful." There's a tuft of dark hair on the top of her head, and she looks so much like Sirius. "How can I love someone this much in just a few seconds?" he asks.

Sirius grins. "And this is Aylin. It means 'Moon Halo'. I just… the names made me think of you." The second baby is passed to Sirius and he sits next to Remus.

Remus looks between the pair. He can see slight differences already. Their eyes and hair are the same, but the eye shapes are different. He's overcome with love for this other child — his child. His children.

"Can someone take her," he says, feeling light headed. "I don't feel steady." He hates to allow this baby to be taken from his arms, but at the same time, if he passed out whilst holding her... if he caused her any harm…

James comes to take the baby and Remus finds himself reluctant to pass his child to the other Alpha, but scared of risking hurting her, he does.

"Are you okay?" James asks, frowning. So far James has barely said a word to him, having regarded him with confusion and suspicion.

Remus shakes his head. "I think I need time to heal. What if I… I might drop her. But you make me uneasy. I'm very sorry, I'm not sure why I'm feeling any hostility towards you. From what I understand, you've looked after Sirius. I should be thanking you. I just… emotions are strange things. I need to understand them better."

Sirius lets out a laugh. "Moonpie, you're jealous because he's another Alpha," he points out. "Typical Alpha issue. He's dating Regulus, so you don't need to worry. I've only ever had eyes for you. I've got no plans to shag James and he's too scared of Regulus to ever consider shagging me. He's family, okay?"

"I'm sorry," Remus whispers, but James doesn't seem phased by it. He just shrugs slightly, a hint of a smile on his lips, and moves away with Amaris, murmuring to her about how much her Uncle James adores her whilst shooting Regulus hopeful looks. Remus glances over at them and can see how James feels for Regulus. It sets him at ease a little and he tells himself that he needs to get these emotions under control.

"So… how do you feel about all of this?" Sirius presses.

"When I fell, I didn't even begin to imagine that I'd have a beautiful family waiting for me. I need to heal fast so I can… so I can protect you all. I need to find a home for us. I need… money? Yes, money to support us. What else do mortals do? A job? I also need to… to..."

"Wait, one step at a time," Sirius tells him. "The babies sleep in with me upstairs. It's a little cramped, with my bed and the two cots. You can share with us, of course."

James loudly and pointedly clears his throat.

"James likes to pretend I haven't ever had sex, even though I have children," Sirius whispers loudly, amused. "But… my Uncle left me and Regulus some money. I… you remember that house. The one we stayed in for that night, where I seduced you?"

Remus nods his head. How could he ever forget that night with Sirius?

"Well, I bought it," Sirius tells him, smiling softly as he thinks about the house. "We're here until the house is suitable to live in. It's a bit run down and the Potters have been a blessing, helping with the twins. Three bedrooms and a nice garden. And it's fitting. It's the place where we admitted our love for each other. Why not spend our lives there?"

"I'd love that so very much."

The kitchen door opens and the two couples walk through. The Lupins freeze at the sight of the children.

"Mum," Remus says shyly, trying out the word for the first time. "Dad…"

They smile approvingly and Remus is relieved that they're happy to be called such things.

"Congratulations. It appears that you're grandparents."

Hope begins to cry, rushing over to Sirius to glimpse one of the girls. He carefully hands his daughter over. The family is just getting bigger and bigger and Sirius loves it. He's always wanted a big family. Strike that, he's always wanted a big family where everyone cares about each other.

Remus watches his daughters for a moment. "A miracle," he murmurs to himself.

"It's Christmas, Moonpie. It's the time of miracles. I mean. You're here, we're going to be a family. Today is the day of miracles!"

"It's Christmas?" Remus asks. For the first time he notices the tree in the other corner of the room and the lights in the window.

Sirius nods. "Well, in a couple of weeks. But it's nearly Christmas Day and I know just what to get you."

"You've given me more than enough," Remus insists, taking his hand for a moment and bringing one to his lips. "But would it be rude if I asked to lay back down?"

"Of course you can lay down." Sirius moves up the sofa. "Just rest your head on me, okay?" He puts a cushion on his lap and Remus lays down.

"I'm sorry that you've lost so much," Sirius whispers, fingers gently running through Remus' hair. Remus is laying on his side, and Sirius can see the burns and wounds on his back. "I'm so sorry."

"It's not about how much we lost, it's about how much we have left," Remus whispers in return. "This, here… you, our children. I may have lost a lot, but I've gained so much more. " His eyes flutter closed. "I love you, Sirius. If I was faced with the same choice, I'd do the exact same thing — every time."

Remus' breathing begins to slow as he falls asleep. He's got a lot of recovering to do, Sirius knows, and he's going to help Remus every step of the way. The blanket is fixed around Remus by Dorea, mindful of his wounded back and whilst Remus sleeps, the new family all get to know each other.

~o~

"I'm scared," Sirius says, in lieu of a greeting. "Moony, I'm scared. So scared. I can't go home again. They might actually kill me. They caught me kissing this guy and… fuck, I thought my mum was actually going to lock me in the basement for the rest of my life, or perhaps arrange some sort of hunting accident or… she actually said she was going to kill me. I'm scared!"

Moony glances around. The alley stinks and Sirius is drenched in rain. He looks like he's walked for hours in the weather, before sinking down onto the wet ground and calling for him.

The way he's sitting is very reminiscent to their first meeting.

"Where are you going?"

"Maybe to James' place?" Sirius suggests, running a hand through dripping wet hair. He clings to his legs as he sits on the steps of the shop's back door. "I might be lost. We haven't talked in a long time, but… but I think he wouldn't turn me away... I don't think I'm far, though I may have taken a wrong turn. The rain is so bad, I can't even see where I'm going."

Moony doesn't know where James lives. He sits next to Sirius and considers his next move.

He extends his wings and wraps them around Sirius. It's dark and there's no-one around to see, except his charge. The wings are as tight as he can make them and he focuses on warming the entire space in the middle. "I can't bring you to James' right now. I don't know where that is. I'm still… I'm still learning how to do this; how to be a Guardian Angel. Once I've walked the Earth longer, I'll be able to find people more easily. But that'll be a while away…" he trails off, glancing at Sirius who is wringing water out of his hair. "How old are you now?"

"Nineteen," Sirius says, his eyes slowly moving around the wings as he lets go of his hair. "These are your wings? They're the most beautiful thing I've ever seen. You… you're the most beautiful." Sirius shifts closer to Moony, and his' wings tighten that little bit more. Through his robes, he feels the wetness of the rain and wonders how that could be — he's not human, he shouldn't be able to experience things like this — the same way he shouldn't feel so overcome by his emotions. It's a little scary.

He considers their options. It's cold and wet here, and they need somewhere for the night. He reaches out, searching. There's an empty house. It's much closer than the church — not that the church is far — but the house will offer some warmth at least. A place for the night and tomorrow they'll go to James, and Sirius will be safe once more.

"Come," he murmurs, pulling Sirius to his feet. "Hold onto me."

"I thought you'd never ask," Sirius says, doing as he's told. He's about an inch shorter than Moony, despite always having been taller in the past. Arms wrap tightly around him and Sirius rests his head contentedly on Moony's shoulder.

Moony widens his wings. He's only had them for a short time now. He moves them slowly, not wanting Sirius to be startled, but Sirius seems content in his embrace, burrowing into his neck and clinging to him. Moony flies them away from the alley and into the garden of the house. They both move towards the door and Moony puts his hand on the door, causing the lock to open.

He gestures for Sirius to go inside first, before he does, and locks the door after them. He leads them through the house, using his powers to warm the place as they go, and Sirius peeks into each room. The decorations are sparse and the house clearly needs a lot of work. But there are basic bits of furniture as though the owner is trying to show that the house has potential.

Sirius sees the bed and lets out a pleased sigh. "Great, there are covers," he says. "Must be put here for show. Hopefully they aren't old or musty." Before Moony's eyes be begins to pull off the drenched clothes.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm going to hang these over a chair," Sirius insists. "Or can you dry them?"

"I can," Moony confirms as Sirius pulls out an old chair that's tucked under a semi-broken desk. The clothes are draped and Moony runs a hand over them.

He shivers at the drenched feel of them, but they dry quickly. He looks at Sirius who is slipping into the bed, and then at the boxers on the chair.

"You… your clothes are all wet. Robes, I mean. You should… you should take them off," Sirius calls, watching him intently. "And come and join me."

"I should?" Moony considers what Sirius is saying. He's not completely naive. He knows what humans do when in a bed together and suspects that Sirius is making an offer. He tries to tell himself that this is all a bad idea. He hasn't been able to get his previous visit with Sirius from his mind. The vision likes to haunt him when he's meditating. He can barely focus. All he can think about is Sirius. He's scared to talk to other Angels because it'd be admitting that he's feeling human emotions. That he's breaking the rules by caring so much, by allowing a Mortal to become too important to him. He can't admit to anyone that he's not spending his downtime meditating or praying or learning how to be a better Angel.

But he's struggling with himself. Sirius is the most beautiful person in existence. He has no doubt about that. But he shouldn't be feeling any of these emotions. Any other Angel wouldn't be tempted, but Moony is extremely tempted.

"That may not be a good idea."

Sirius sits up straight, the covers pooling around his hips. "It's just… your clothes are soaked. It's best you get out of them. The bed is so warm. Come. Lay with me." It's clear in Sirius' eyes what he wants, and Moony moves closer to the bed.

"You… you're beautiful and you matter so much to me. Sirius, I know what you're asking of me… or I suspect. I'm… I'm not sure this is a good idea. I can't offer you anything. You deserve the best." He's not strong, and if Sirius keeps asking, Moony will give in.

He wants to just say yes. He wants to join him and find out the pleasures of being human. He wants to be in Sirius' embrace once more and not let go. Ever. He wants to see Sirius as he did last time, but with him doing the touching, not Sirius.

"You once told me that I should wait until it feels right. You're now telling me I deserve the best. Moony, don't you get it — you're the best. You are my everything. And… and the idea of you joining me… the idea of us doing this… nothing has ever felt more right. I need you." He hesitates, taking a deep breath. "I can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that they're you!"

"You… you need…" Moony says, stuttering over his words. "You pretend… you're kissing me?"

"Not in the same way I needed to feel safe before, or needed to be protected. This is your choice. I want this to happen, but if you don't want this, I won't make you. You can rest on top of the covers and I'll rest underneath or something. But… but I want this with you."

"I've never…" Moony whispers longingly. This relationship isn't allowed, it's forbidden, but he finds himself caring little for the rules anymore, because this is Sirius and Sirius is worth breaking every rule for.

"That's okay. I haven't either," Sirius assures him. He pulls the cover of the bed back a little and pats the space next to him. "So… it's your choice."

Moony's shaking fingers move to the edges of his robe and he begins to remove it. He's never considered clothing before and realises quickly that he's standing naked in front of Sirius. He hasn't got underwear like Sirius previously had — so once the robes are gone, his body is bare.

Sirius' stormy-grey eyes slowly move over his body. "I knew you'd be an Alpha," he whispers. "Please."

Moony slowly moves towards the bed. He's learnt about temptation, he thought himself above this, but he can't ever say no to Sirius. Not just that, but he has these urges, these desires that he's not quite understanding of.

"I… I don't want to get the wrong idea," Moony says. "Tell me… tell me what to do — I mean, what you want. I'm scared of doing the wrong thing and hurting you or… or causing you any distress."

Sirius gives him a bewitching smile and pats the bed. Moony reaches it and slides under the covers, relieved to be covered from Sirius' eager eyes.

"Let's have sex," Sirius says without hesitation. His lips brush Moony's, leaving Moony to lean in, trying to follow. "And don't worry about anything, I know what to do. I watch a lot of porn." He pauses. "But I know I've been very forward in what I want and I don't want to push you. If there's anything you don't want… if something doesn't feel right or comfortable, we'll stop. Just say the word and that'll be it. We'll stop and then go to sleep. Okay?"

"Shouldn't I be saying that to you?" Moony whispers.

Sirius' smile widens. "Love, I've been waiting for this for a long time. I'm not going to be saying no. Don't you get it, my love? I'm yours. But… but if it makes you feel better, I'll tell you if I want to stop. Promise."

Moony nods. When Sirius' lips come to brush his, he leans in to eagerly meet them. Hands move down his side, brushing over his hip. "I mean it," Sirius whispers, as his fingers begin to explore. "I'm yours."

"I'm yours," Moony admits in response. He knows he's going to be in a lot of trouble, but for tonight he can admit the truth. He belongs to Sirius.

…

"I know you're laying there, probably regretting what we did," Sirius whispers, cuddling into Moony's arms. "I know you're going to give me the talk tomorrow that we can't ever do this again, so just… just don't, okay? I… If I could, I'd spend my whole life with you, like this. I get that it's not going to happen, but don't ever tell me that it won't. Just let me… I just don't want to hear those words from you, okay? As for… for what we did… it was beautiful, so don't ever regret it. I never will. I love you."

Moony smiles. "How can i regret sharing something so amazing with you?" he asks softly. "I… I'm going to be in so much trouble, but I wouldn't change the last few hours for anything." His arms tighten around Sirius. He's only going to have this one night — he's going to make the most of it.

Sirius leans up, an amused grin on his lips. "Well, seeing as how you're going to get into trouble already…" his lips find Moony's again and in a swift motion, he lifts a leg so he's straddling Moony's hips. "If it's only one night we get, it doesn't have to end already."

Moony can only nod in agreement. His gave drifts down Sirius' body and he can't help but admire how utterly perfect Sirius is. If he could, he would spend his existence looking at such perfection, but he knows he can't. He pushes the thought away. He can resign himself to that later, but right now, there's other things on his mind.

Sirius' grin widens. "That thing you did with your wings where you wrapped them around me in the rain… can you do that again… but, you know… keep them out. They're really sexy."

…

They walk to James' house hand in hand the next day. It's very early and neither of them have slept. One night together and both were determined not to waste a moment of it.

It felt too right to have Sirius in his arms. To feel Sirius' fingers exploring his body, touching places he's never even thought about. To do the same to Sirius, listening to his breathing change, the sounds he makes and causing him to lose every ounce of control.

"Okay, you're getting strange looks," Sirius says, after someone passes, their eyes lingering on Moony's robes. "Look, here. A clothes shop. Can you… can you do something? Like when you made the blankets magically appear. Can you make clothes appear too?"

Moony looks at the clothes in the window. One outfit catches his eye. A pair of jeans, some lace-up trainers that go up past his ankle the way Sirius' own heavy boots cover his ankles, and a white t-shirt. There's a forest-green patterned cardigan over the t-shirt and the pattern soothes Moony.

He glances around to ensure they're alone. The man who had been staring has turned a corner, so Moony focuses and the robes shift and change and suddenly he's wearing an outfit identical to that of the mannequin. Sirius steps towards him eagerly, fingers resting on his hips. "How do you keep getting more beautiful?" he asks.

It would be so easy to lean in and kiss Sirius, but somehow he manages to stop himself. "I could ask you the same thing," he replies, reaching for Sirius' hand and taking it in his own. "Let's find your friend's house, shall we?"

Sirius' smile fades slightly as he realises the rejection. Still, he nods his head. "You're doing that warming thing again," he says.

"You were in the rain for a long time yesterday. I'm just sending healing through you so that you don't get ill," Moony insists. "I don't know what I'd ever do if something bad happened to you." He realises that the idea of something bad happening to Sirius… no. He'll protect Sirius from everything. "Though I won't ever let that happen."

"I know. You're going to look after me forever, right?"

Moony nods his head. Forever with Sirius. He likes that.

"So… that means I get you for the rest of my life." Sirius moves a little bit closer, "I can't complain about that."

They turn from the high-street and walk down a couple of roads before stopping. It's only been about twenty minutes since they left the house. "This is me," Sirius says, gesturing to a nearby house. He leans in and lets his lips touch Moony's. "I know. Last night and all… let's call that a… not a goodbye kiss, because we're not saying goodbye. Just a… I won't do it again." He lets out a sigh. "If you were human, I'd be planning our future together. Wedding, kids, a little house. I hate this — that we can't be together. I love you. I can't even find the words to express how in love with you I am, and thought you might not understand everything yet, I think you may feel the same for me."

"Sirius," Moony begins.

"Please. I know what you're going to say. Just…

"Last night was the best night of my life. For once, I could forget you were an Angel."

"You… you like forgetting that?" Moony feels a little hurt by the words. He's not sure why they hurt though. He's completely lost to all of these emotions.

"No," Sirius insists. "I mean… last night it wasn't us, a human and an Angel. It was us, two men who care deeply for each other. But I think you should know that I would do anything for you. I'd die to protect you." He lets out a sigh. "I don't regret last night, but I didn't expect everything to intensify. I didn't expect to fall even more in love with you. I think… I need to be alone, I need to think. I need you to go." He turns, disappointment clear in his face.

"You… you want me to go?" Of all things, this hurts Moony. Sirius has always asked him to stay. "Do you not need me anymore?" He feels so lost now.

Sirius hears the panic in his voice and the disappointed look fades. He moves towards Moony, his fingers reaching up to Moony' hair. "I'll need you every moment of every day for the rest of my life," he assures Moony. "But I'm very selfish, I'm afraid, and I want you all for myself and I want to be alone so you won't see me sulking that you're not in my arms. I will never ever want you to leave and never come back. But I think you also need to take some time and try and understand what love is — because last night, I think you may have felt emotions like us humans do, and I think you need to try and understand everything. Okay?"

Moony nods his head. "I'll be back soon."

Sirius nods to James' house. "I'll probably be there."

"I'll find you," Moony says, smiling. "We have a bond. I'll be able to find you anywhere."

There's a triumphant edge to Sirius' smile. "We do have a bond," he agrees. "Well, I'm going to hope that James forgives me our argument a few years ago. Wish me luck."

"Do you want me to come in? For support?"

Sirius nods. "More than anything, but considering what's just happened, perhaps it's best I do this alone whilst you get your answers." He turns and walks away without a goodbye, but Moony doesn't mind. They never say goodbye to each other.

Goodbye seems so final, as though they'll never see each other again, and Moony doesn't think he can survive without seeing Sirius again.

~o~

The pain lasts for weeks, but Remus doesn't like laying around in bed or on the sofa. He wants to be up and about, helping, tidying, cleaning. Assisting with his family. Charlus and Dorea have to keep escorting him back to the sofa, insisting that he's not going to heal quickly if he doesn't rest.

He's given the easier jobs that involve sitting down.

"I think we're done for the day," James says, glancing over his college notes before opening the notebook and marking something down.

"Already?" Remus frowns. "Can't we continue?"

"We don't want to overdo it," James tells him. He closes the notebook and sets it and the college work aside.

"I'm not going to be any use like this," Remus protests. "James, please. All I've been doing is sitting around with people fussing over me. I'm no use to Sirius, to the girls… I'm a burden whilst I'm in this state. I need to sort myself out, I need to be able to manage so I can help more — so I can support Sirius. I can just about get up the stairs and then I have to take a break if I want to come back down. If we carry on — maybe double what I'm doing… that'd speed things right up."

James stays quiet until Remus is finished. He lets out a soft sigh. "Remus, you… look, you're extremely weak. Losing your grace, losing your powers and your wings… it's taken an insane toll on your body. Your body needs to recover and you need to learn to get around as a mortal. If you overdo it, it'll set you back and you'll take longer to recover. I'm doing as much as I think is safe to do until we're confident that you'll be able to go to the hospital." He pauses for a moment. "As for you being a burden… I'm not sure why you'd ever think that. No-one feels that way. You've gone through something big and you're recovering. We all understand that it's a slow recovery, and we also know this happened because you saved Sirius' life."

"You make it sound like it was a selfless deed. It wasn't selfless. I was selfish. I didn't want him to die. But I want to be there for him, to support him where I failed before. He needed me and didn't call for me, and that's my own fault."

"I'm sorry," James mutters, rubbing the back of his neck. "Me and Regulus haven't been the most helpful or supportive since you've arrived. I… I had so much anger that someone got Sirius knocked up and didn't stick around. So when you showed up, I should have let go of that. He didn't tell you and you had your own reasons for not being around. Plus… if you had fallen sooner, he may have died. You seem like a decent guy and we're all happy you're here. Especially Sirius. He's mad for you."

"I can't understand why, but I'll make it all up to him," Remus quickly assures James.

James chuckles. "I know that now," he says. "I've been meaning to ask you a few things… talk to you about something. You've been sleeping on the sofa."

"Yes?"

"Well… it might not be the best for your muscles," James tells him. "You need a proper bed to sleep in so you can recover. I mean, I know you head up to Sirius' when he's gone to class but that's… we need to talk about that."

"What's wrong with that?" Remus checks.

"Sirius… Sirius is scared that maybe you're not… in love with him, or you regret your choice or something," James says carefully. "He thinks you're avoiding him at times."

Remus hesitates. "I love Sirius, but last time we shared a bed… he's entirely beautiful — everything, especially his soul, but I want to do things right this time. Now I'm here, I want to marry him first. He told me before that he wants that, and I do too. I just think he deserves that sort of commitment."

"Yeah. Sirius deserves the best. But he always assumes the worst, so perhaps explain to him about this to put his mind at ease."

"I just want to be worthy of him."

"You saved his life. You're here, making this effort. You gave up being an Angel. Those wings were awesome… could you fly?"

"I could fly. But Sirius was worth falling for," Remus points out. "I left him alone to raise two children. He was too scared to even tell me about them. I shouldn't have ever made him feel like he needed to keep it from me. I have a lot to prove to him before I could be considered worthy."

"That's where you're failing," James says, shrugging. "By waiting to prove that you're worthy, you're pulling away from him and hurting him. Sirius thinks you're worthy already. Stop being so hard on yourself. I like that you want to marry him first — I know full well that you'll have the blessing of everyone in this household to do so — but let him know that you love him. I can see that you do, we all can… Sirius assumes the worst. Plus, being in the same bed doesn't mean anything has to happen between you. Sirius will understand that you need to rest to heal."

"You're right," Remus sighs.

"So how about you guys do something together? I know you can't walk far so suggesting a walk is out of the question. But maybe go to the cinema — you can get a cab there? Or even put a film on here and have some snacks and a cuddle? I'll watch the girls whilst you guys spend a bit of time together. Is there anything else whilst we're talking?"

"Besides being terrified that I'm going to fail at being a husband and father?" Remus says, laughing tiredly. "It's all so scary, James. I'm here, I've made my choice and I'm happy with it. But… it's still scary that I have all these people to protect and no powers to do so. But I've already proved that I'm a failure as a guardian."

"You did an amazing job. You kept him safe and protected. You found him when he was lost. You advised him away from relationships where he'd be unhappy. You gave up something important to you in order to save him. You gave him the twins. You really can't see how much you've given Sirius. Maybe you weren't there when the girls were born, but you're here now — and you have all of us to help you learn what this world is like. You're still trying to protect Sirius despite not being an Angel anymore."

"He'll always be my Angel." They both look towards the doorway where Sirius is standing. Sirius smiles. "So… how are things?"

"Would you like to watch a movie whilst the kids are asleep?" Remus blurts out. "I've never watched one before, so perhaps you can recommend something? Or maybe we can go for a walk?"

"A walk might not be the best idea after the physio," James points out. "But I'll go and put on some popcorn and get you guys some drinks. You both relax, okay?" He walks from the room into the kitchen, and Sirius slips off his shoes and coat and puts them into the hall before walking into the room, glancing at the two cots in the living room. The twins are fast asleep and he smiles at the sight before walking over to Remus.

"Can you manage a film, Moonpie?" Sirius looks so hopeful at the idea that Remus can't bring himself to say that he's not sure. He nods instead, eager to make things right for them. He never wants Sirius to doubt his feelings again.

"I think if we fix some of the cushions so my back doesn't touch the sofa, I'll be alright," he says.

They begin moving them around, putting the cushions lower for Remus to lean back on, before Sirius grabs the tv remote and turns the television on. He sits next to Remus and Remus leans against him carefully. Sirius takes his hand. "If you sleep upstairs, I'll promise not to seduce you," he says gently. "I can wait until we're married."

Remus smiles. He's only slept in the bed after Sirius gets up for the day, cuddling Sirius' pillow. "We can give it a trial," he replies. "But I need to heal. I'm sorry I've been distant. If you ever worry again, talk to me. I'm still getting used to everything and… and I love you. Don't ever doubt that."

"I love you too," Sirius insists softly. He reaches for the remote and puts a movie on, setting the remote down at his side and accepting the bowl of popcorn that James offers minutes later. He silently retreats to the kitchen, leaving the pair to have some time to themselves. Remus ignores the pain on his back.

~o~

"I'd like to do Confession if you're free," Moony says softly.

The priest jumps at the sound of his voice, spinning around. "It's you! My apologies," he quickly adds. "You're always welcome here, but I was starting to suspect you were a dream. Of course. Come on through to the box." He sets the candle down by the altar and guides Moony to the confessional booth, going to sit on the other side.

"Forgive me Father," Moony says, his voice soft. "I've broken so many rules and I feel so very lost."

"What have you done?" Father Lyall asks.

"I… I got attached. From the first day, when I visited Sirius as a child, I cared for him. As he grew, as I grew… that bond only strengthened. I've been feeling human emotions. I don't think I'm like the other Angels, I think there's something wrong with me." He feels his voice shake. "I… I allowed myself… to give into… desires last night. I… me and Sirius… I think I've fallen in love with him. I've committed these sins and I don't know if I even deserve to return to Heaven."

Father Lyall is silent for a long time and Moony sits quietly. He's most likely never had an Angel in the confessional booth and therefore has to really consider his words.

"You're both consenting adults?" Lyall asks.

"Sirius is nineteen," Moony confirms. "I don't know how old I am."

"You sound quite young if you don't mind me saying," Father Lyall tells him. "There are many verses in the bible that relate to love, to caring, to acceptance," Lyall tells him. "The one that comes to mind right now is: Peter 4:8: 'Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.' Moony, isn't it?"

"Yes."

"Son, love is important. Falling in love, I believe that makes people stronger. Perhaps in your role as Sirius' guardian, it was not expected of you to fall in love, but you should never consider it a sin having done so, when you're both adults and able to give consent to each other for anything that has taken place between you. I think you didn't come here to confess sins, you came here because you wanted someone to talk to, to confide in and you didn't know who else to talk to. So come over for a cup of tea, and let's have a talk, shall we?"

"Yes, Father."

…

"It doesn't surprise me," Hope says, sipping her tea. "Sirius has been very taken with you for years. For him to fall in love with you… I think he's felt this way for a long time. Sometimes he stops in after church to talk to us and he's always so eager to mention you, to talk about you even if he hasn't seen you in a while. I could see it in his eyes that he was in love. I tried to set him up with a couple of nice Alphas from the church, but realised that no-one had any chance because he barely noticed them. I hoped that he'd find someone else and not set his heart on someone who was so out of reach."

She sips her tea again.

"You have a similar look in your eyes. Like Sirius means as much to you as you mean to him," Lyall adds. "Perhaps it's not my place to ask this, but what's stopping you from being with him? You seem to be aging at the same rate — will you stop at a certain point? Is there anything stopping you from spending the next… seventy or eighty years on Earth? Time moves differently there, so it won't feel like a long time up there. Why not let yourself experience love?"

"I'm needed. I have a job. From as long as I can remember, I've wanted to help people. I've wanted to be a guardian Angel. I've wanted to protect people. But now I feel things. Angels shouldn't feel. I felt the cold on Sirius' skin, the wet on his clothes. The wet through mine from the rain. I should be immune to these things. I don't understand."

"It's not up to us to make your mind up for you, but we're always here to listen," Hope tells him gently. "You seem so lost, and I imagine it's hard to find someone to talk to — someone who understands. Not that we understand the rules and laws surrounding being an Angel. But we do understand religion and we do understand being mortal and emotions such as love."

"Would God have given you the ability to love if he expected you not to experience it?" Lyall adds.

Moony considers the question.

"God has plans for everyone, I imagine that extends to Angels," Hope tells him.

Moony smiles. "How are you so… you make me feel warm inside. What's the word? Motherly?"

Hope's smile widens. "Thank you."

"May I ask if it's not intrusive… though it perhaps is…"

"You want to know why I'm so motherly but don't have a child of my own?" Hope guesses. Moony nods his head.

"I always hoped to be a mother," she admits. "But it never happened. It wasn't to be. God has a plan for all of us, so perhaps my plan is to be a mother to those that need it in the church. I always wanted a son, though I'd have been equally happy with a daughter. I used to dream that I would have twins — Remus for a boy, Romulus for the girl. Though they wouldn't follow the story and harm each other of course."

She sips her tea. "You believe you've broken rules. Wouldn't… wouldn't Heaven know? Wouldn't they have called you back if they believe you've done wrong? What rules have you really broken?"

"I let myself get attached. I let myself care. I let myself feel." He hesitates. "I… I let myself give into temptation. Last night… we…" he can't bring himself to say the words. "Sirius says he loves me. I think I may love him back, but I'm not sure to what extent and whether it's the same thing. But he… I would do anything for him. I would… I believe I would die to protect him. But all my feelings seem… seem irrational, impulsive."

"That sounds like love to me," Hope tells him with a grin. "Love can be completely unpredictable. People never plan to fall in love, it just happens. I think you're in love with Sirius. If you weren't, you'd not be here, seeking answers. What happens if you decide to stay?"

"I… I may be reassigned. I might be kept in Heaven and unable to leave. I may fall."

"Fall?"

"From grace. They'll take my wings and powers. I'll fall and be like everyone else. What do I do?"

The couple look at each other.

"You need to determine whether your feelings for Sirius matter to you more than being a Guardian Angel," Lyall finally offers. "It sounds like you can't have both. We can't tell you what choice to make, but you'll have to pick. Pick your choice and don't go back on it. Because if you pick your job, you need to make sure Sirius is aware that there is no future for you, so he can move on and meet someone else. But if you choose Sirius… he deserves to have your full commitment."

Moony nods, bringing his cup to his lips and finishing the rest of his drink. He stands. "Thank you for the tea. I think… I need time alone to consider what to do."

"Anytime." Lyall stands too. "I'll walk you out."

"I'll come back soon," he promises. He feels comfortable here, in the presence of these people. They're so kind, so welcoming.

"You're always welcome here," Hope promises.

~o~

The Christening for the two girls and the wedding both happen on the same day. One straight after the other. Remus has been there for almost three months now, and is still healing. Everything still hurts but he's able to walk further than before especially with the aid of a walking stick, able to rest gently back against something, though painful red scars run down his back where his wings once sat. The scars and burns are the kind that'll never fade. He finds them ugly, but Sirius says otherwise. He tells Remus they're a reminder that Remus gave up everything for him, which makes them beautiful. Those scars mean something. They're confident that one day he'll be able to move around with ease.

Remus hasn't had a chance to meet anyone yet, having spent most of his time recovering. Sirius is delighted that his best friend and the love of his life are getting along so well. After the first week with distrust and a little hostility, things settled. Sirius could see why the pair were acting odd. Remus, struggling with emotions, trying to make sense of everything and why he's feeling each of them… and James, like a protective brother who, despite knowing Remus is an Angel, also considers Remus as the Alpha who abandoned Sirius when he was pregnant — even though Remus didn't know.

Sirius asks James to stand at Remus' side, as his best man. He asks Regulus to stand at his own.

The Potters and Hope watch the ceremony, holding the two little girls between them.

Sirius is glad of the Lupins. Not just for the help they've given in the past, but because Remus has found a family. Sirius knows the importance of a found-family. He found the Potters and though they aren't blood, they matter more than his own parents. So when Lyall and Hope look proudly at Remus and he smiles back, Sirius understands.

There are very few people there. A couple of old friends from school that James had kept in touch with — Frank and Peter, and Frank's fiance, Alice. His own cousin Andromeda accepted the invite and turned up with her husband and their young daughter. Sirius doesn't need more people than this — there's no point trying to fill out the church. All that matters is that they are both here, both wearing nice suits and finally vowing to spend their lives together.

He can't wait for that night. Their house is ready for them to move into now, with everyone heading over to work on it in their free time, with the exception of Remus who is still struggling with his health, though he's managing a lot better. But tonight the girls will be staying at the Potter's house, and Sirius and Remus will have a couple of days to themselves. The honeymoon will wait for Remus' health to improve.

"God has a plan for all of us," Lyall says, as the service comes to an end. "It may not always be clear to us what he intends, but I believe all of this was intended. I never questioned before why me and my wife were never blessed with a child of our own, but now I realise why. Because God knew this would all happen. He knew that Remus would be in need of a family and that we would be the ones to love him as our son. When he called us Mum and Dad for the first time…" his voice shakes slightly and he clears his throat. "But more than that, God knew we'd be standing in this church today to unite Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. For them to make their vows here, before God, in front of their loved ones. With all the power I bear, I pronounce you married. You may kiss."

Sirius grins and grabs Remus, pulling him in for a kiss. He keeps it clean because of the parents, but as he pulls away, he makes sure to whisper a promise of the night to come into Remus' ear, causing his Angel to turn bright red at the words.

They move over to the church hall. There's a table full of finger-food and someone turns on the music. It's still a tiny party, but Sirius has never had as much fun as he does that day, enjoying his first dance with his husband, cutting the small, two-tiered chocolate cake and just finally allowing himself to be happy with his life.

He has everything he's ever wanted and more. The girls were a beautiful, joyful surprise, and he has his Moonpie, his freedom from his family and he has a new family — one that love him.

What more could he ever ask for?

~o~

It's a new prayer and Moony's eyes open quickly at the sound of it. He looks up to find Kingsley approaching. "I have a charge. Are you asking me to take on a second? Or..." he doesn't finish the sentence. Are they taking Sirius away from him? He can't bear the thought of anyone else looking after his Sirius.

Kingsley shakes his head. "No. Your first charge will be joining us today so you'll be taking on a new case."

"He'll… wait, he'll be what?" Moony asks, his eyes widening.

Kingsley looks sympathetic. "I understand he's your first charge. Lines got a little blurred — sometimes it happens, but you took a step back. I've smoothed things over. A forbidden relationship, but you've distanced yourself, and you've tried to set things right. Unfortunately he's at the end of his path now. He may call for you later, but if you just ignore it…"

"No," Moony says, shaking his head. "I promised I would always be there. What do you mean, end of his path? Is he going to die?"

"That was a mistake, because you can't always be there," Kingsley tells him. "The death is written. That life must end today. There's nothing we can do to stop it, and we shouldn't — you're letting personal feelings cloud things, Angel."

Moony is on his feet now. "I won't let you take his life."

Kingsley gives him a pitying look. "You'll understand one day. Perhaps this is the wrong call. Perhaps we can have you working with the Cherubs? It's a little higher up, but less attachment. Matchmaking is less involvement in mortals lives."

Moony shakes his head. "What happens if the death is stopped?"

Kingsley frowns. "You, Angel, would fall. You'd fall from grace. The cost of his life is your grace, your wings, and that's a big ask for one mortal. Your grace will be gone until his life finally ends. You'll die with him and be reborn as an Angel, or perhaps not, depending on the life you live."

Moony can't think straight. Sirius is going to die. Yes, they would meet again in heaven, but he wants Sirius to live a life on Earth. He wants him to be happy.

Moony has spent time considering his feelings, but he's at a crossroads now. One path will lead to a new assignment, something he could only dream of before Sirius became his charge. The other…

"Where and how does he die?"

"Do you understand what you're giving up?" Kingsley asks. Moony shakes his head, his shoulders shrugging slightly.

"I understand but… I don't know what to do. Have you never felt attached where you'd give your very existence to save someone?"

A softness appears in Kingsley's eyes. "Perhaps, once," he admits. "So long ago. You'll be trapped in the body of a nineteen year old. You'll live a long mortal life without powers. Are you certain?"

"Why nineteen?"

"Because if we use the mortal sense to judge how long you've been an Angel, it's been a little over nineteen years," Kingsley explains. "You came to us nineteen years ago."

"How did I come into existence?" Moony demands.

"There are many ways Angels are born. Some were created so long ago. God can create Angels if there's a need. Some… some are those that never got the chance at life, some are mortals who were such pure souls, they were given a chance to help others. Perhaps you were the second."

"I was… I would have been mortal?"

"It explains your emotions. We find Angels that were once mortal feel things more than those of us that were created as Angels. But think about this carefully, Angel. You'll have barely a hint of your powers left." He closes his eyes briefly. "You have thirty seconds."

That's not enough time. Moony doesn't even stop for a moment to consider what he should do. He sends himself back down to Earth.

He can't pretend anymore. He would die for Sirius, he would fall for Sirius. He would do anything for Sirius. Love really is irrational, he realises, as he ends up on the street near James' house. Sirius is jogging away from him, headphones over his head and shopping bag swinging from his shoulder. He doesn't see him.

Moony looks around with some urgency as Sirius moves towards the road, his head quickly turning to scan for cars. Left to right, but as he turns his head right, a car comes speeding around the corner and Sirius steps out onto the road.

Moony is there like a flash. He grabs and pulls Sirius back with every ounce of strength that he has. Though as he begins to pull, he starts to weaken drastically. As Sirius falls backwards on the pavement, Moony feels so drained that he can barely stay conscious.

"Shit, that car almost. Thanks mate, you… Moony?" He hears the delight in Sirius' words when Sirius looks at him, realising that he's back. "You… I didn't call you. Did you…" He glances over Moony's robes which are turning from pure-white to an old grey, and worry fills his eyes. "What happened to you? You're filthy. Are you okay? Do you need First Aid? Do you need to be nursed tenderly back to health?"

"The cost of saving your life is giving up my wings," Moony whispers. Even his throat hurts. "I'm falling."

"You're not. You're on the ground. I can help you up? Is it safe to move you?"

"I'm falling from grace. I'm falling from being an Angel."

"You're… oh shit, you look like… you look like you're going to pass out. Let me get you inside, okay?" Arms pull him up and he's half dragged from the street. His legs are too weak and Moony feels himself slipping in and out of consciousness.

"James, help!" He's pulled into a small house and barely registers another man rushing over, grabbing him and hoisting him up. He feels himself being laid down on the sofa, darkness threatening to overtake him.

There are a few different voices and Moony is overcome by so many emotions. Mostly, he feels fear. He's in agony, he's terrified of the choices he's made and what's going to happen next. He's not regretting his choice, but it doesn't help that fear.

But Sirius' hands are clutching his and though he can't make out the words, he can hear Sirius murmuring softly.

He's saved Sirius' life and whatever happens next is worth that.

...

Moony looks terrible. Sirius is used to seeing his Angel with almost glowing skin, There was always something so untouchable about him, he was always so out of reach. Though Sirius took the risk and touched and kissed anyway. But now. Now he can't move. He's barely conscious on the ground.

Something is wrong, Sirius just knows.

"The cost of saving your life is giving up my wings. I'm falling."

Sirius doesn't understand. No, he doesn't want to jump to the wrong conclusion. "You're not. You're on the ground. I can help you up? Is it safe to move you?" He's desperate to help, but he doesn't know how to help an Angel. What can he do? He'd do anything to help Moony but he's at a loss.

"I'm falling from grace. I'm falling from being an Angel." The words are barely audible, but Sirius hears them clearly enough. He wants to take a moment to understand what this means, to realise what's happening, but Moony is hurt and he needs help.

He can't call the hospital. How would he ever explain who or what Moony is? They might call some secret alien police people and have Moony taken away and experimented on. Well, not Alien, but experiments all the same. He can't risk Moony getting hurt.

"You're… oh shit, you look like… you look like you're going to pass out. Let me get you inside, okay?" Whatever happens, it's best for it to not be in the street. Sirius pulls Moony off the ground and Moony feels more real in his arms, more human. He's not this mythical figure anymore, he's someone who needs Sirius' help.

Sirius turns away from the road and heads back to his house, aware of the implications of what was just about to happen — Moony came here to save his life, which means the speeding car had almost killed him. He pulls Moony gently along and the Angel stumbles, threatening to drop with each step. Sirius won't ever let that happen. He uses all his strength to keep Moony on his feet, and pounds on the front door, calling James' name.

"James, help," he says, as the door swings open. James, loyal as ever doesn't ask any questions. He merely grabs Moony and pulls Moony's arm over his shoulder. Moony is pulled to the sofa and laid down, much to the surprise of James' parents.

"What's happening?" Dorea asks.

"Well, you know I told you that I had a Guardian Angel?" Sirius asks, shooting both James and Regulus a harsh look — he had argued that Moony had existed to Regulus when growing up, but had an outright fight with James over him when James accused Sirius of making Moony up, merely for attention. James had tried to apologise after, but Sirius hadn't accepted the apology, not until he ran away and they could fix things — though they never talked about Moony. "This is him. He just… he just pulled me out of the way of a speeding car and…" he reaches for Moony's hands, distraught as he watches Moony's face twist in agony. "He just saved my life."

"Sirius?" the voice is barely a whisper and Moony sounds completely terrified.

"I've got you," Sirius murmurs. "I'm right here, okay, I'm not leaving you."

"Dear, I'm not sure I understand," Dorea says, clearly choosing her words carefully. "Should we be calling your friend an ambulance? How did he get hurt?"

"My back," Moony whispers, attempting to get up. "My wings." Sirius helps him into a sitting position and suddenly two pure white wings emerge from Moony's back. Sirius ignores the gasps of his family. He can see from the corner of his eye as James quickly backs up, his face filled with awe. Glass shatters as the wings knock various items from tables, but none of it matters. Just Moony. He backs up slightly as the feathers begin to fade into a grey. "Well… I was obviously wrong," James murmurs in awe.

The three Potters rush around behind him, and Regulus shifts closer. Moony's eyes open slightly, he glances at Regulus with a dazed look. "Nice to see you again," Moony murmurs.

"You… you know me?"

Moony nods. "I was told to guard the basement. You rarely went in there, but I sat with you."

"How come I didn't see you…?" Regulus' eyes are on the wings as the colour of the feathers keeps darkening.

"Because I wasn't supposed to be there. But protecting Sirius meant guarding you in there too."

Regulus drops down next to the sofa. "I remember it never felt as scary in there. Less… dark and…"

"Told you," Sirius murmurs. He's watching the wings with concern. He's sure the feathers are dying. They begin to fall and Sirius knows that there's more to come. "How can I help you, love?"

"Don't leave me," Moony begs. He's shaking. His eyes flutter closed once more. "I feel like I'm dying."

"You're not… are you?" Sirius asks.

Moony shakes his head, though the movement seems to make things worse. "Just losing all of my powers. The cost of saving your life is giving up being an Angel. There's a balance. When I found out you were to die, I didn't even need to think about what I was going to do, what choice I was going to make.I just knew that I would do anything to protect you, to save you. There wasn't time to think. Not that I needed time — I don't regret it at all."

"Is this your way of telling me you love me?" Though he tries to sound like he's teasing, he wants this to be. He wants Moony to love him back.

"Emotions are still confusing, but… but I think I may possibly do," Moony whispers. The feathers continue to fall, leaving bare wings and that's when they burst into flames and Moony cries out in agony.

"This is too much," Sirius says. "Tell them… I don't even know, just… just stop this, please."

His skin is burning and Sirius forces himself to keep a hold on Moony's hands. Flames fly up from the wings, but thankfully nothing gets set alight.

"Darling, his clothes seem to be…" Dorea hesitates. "Perhaps you should come to the kitchen?"

"Mum, I… it's… I've seen him naked before," Sirius says nervously.

"You what?" James says loudly. "What? When?"

"Uh… you know the day I ran away — I said I stayed overnight in that house? Well… that night."

"Wait. That…" Regulus starts, but pauses. "Is he…"

"Yeah," Sirius confirms. "It's him, and he's finally here with me."

~o~

Remus doesn't want to leave the garden at the back of his parents' house. They have a greenhouse and now he can manage to be out and about more, he brings the twins over and works in the greenhouse, the door open so he can watch them play as he does so.

His parents dote on the twins so he finds he doesn't worry as much, though he's sure he'll never not worry about his girls. But gardening has become a passion of his in the last few weeks and he finds he's a very prolific gardener — the section he has taken over is growing bigger and faster than the others.

"Love, Sirius will be home from work soon," Hope says, popping her head into the greenhouse. "We'll get the girls into the pram, you have a quick wash."

Remus nods, standing up and dusting his old jeans off. He heads to the kitchen door where a towel sits on the windowsill, and he wipes first his forehead and then his hands. He steps inside, making sure to wipe his feet first, and washes quickly in the sink.

"I'll go out of the side," he says as Lyall wheels the pram into the kitchen. Lyall nods his head and maneuvers it outside into the garden, before fixing the blankets around each of them. "Goodbye my darlings," he says. "We'll be seeing you tomorrow."

Remus says his goodbyes and begins the journey home.

…

Dinner is almost ready when he gets in. He reaches under the pram and pulls out a bag of vegetables, before unstrapping his daughters and putting them down to play. Keeping a careful watch, he sits at the dining table and catches his breath. Though he's feeling a lot better, he's still getting tired quickly, even though it's been ten months since he's fallen.

Sirius leans in for a kiss. "You alright, Moonpie?" he asks.

"I am. How was your day? How was work?"

"It was… it's not always good. Being a social worker is hard because… I feel like I could do more to help, you know? But I'll learn. Maybe it was a bad idea to do work experience during my course. How are your parents?"

"They're good. They send their love and said they'd see you on Sunday for dinner," Remus replies. They've been alternating each Sunday — one at the Lupins, one at the Potters, and one at theirs, and it's Hope and Lyall's turn for dinner. "I've been thinking… my health is getting a little bit better and I need to consider our future. Your parents and mine said they're fine to look after the kids between them when I'm healed enough… I was considering a late admission to the college, perhaps. Dad offered work at the church, but I was thinking of… I want to help people. I may not have powers, but I can still help those in need. Maybe I can work at a hospital or something like that? Be a doctor?"

"I think you'd be amazing as a doctor," Sirius insists gently. "You know you've got my support, no matter what you decide to do, so don't rush your choice, okay? Now relax. Dinner is almost ready." He glances towards his daughters. "Aylin, Amaris," he calls, walking over to them and scooping them up into a hug. "You both ready for dinner? I made pasta! I missed you both so much today!"

Amaris lets out a squeal at the hug whilst Aylin giggles and Remus forces himself up from the chair, heading over to the trio and dropping to his knees to join in the hug. He still can't believe that this is all real — that he has his own family.

He realises how lonely his life had been up in Heaven. He had the Holy Father and the other Angels, but he never had a family. Now he has so much family. Everyone is supportive too. Both the Lupins and Potters are always stopping in to check on them, and the Potters have welcomed him to the family with such ease. He's even formed a nice friendship with James, Regulus and Sirius' other friends. They've had to pass his injuries off as a car accident, but Remus is fine with that. People avoid asking questions upon learning that.

Life down here is perfect and he wouldn't change it for the world!

Word Count: 19,685

Pretty much everything listed is for the Hogwarts forum - go and check it out!

Gringotts - (dialogue) "I was obviously wrong."

Stickers - Standard Book of Spells - 2. Wingardium Leviosa - Write about an alternative method of flying. (not brooms)

East: Snow Angel - AU: Wings / Trait: Intuitive / Weather: Torrential Downpour

South: Light the Menorah - 10. (au) Angel

North: Christmas Sing-Along - Christmas Must Be Tonight - The Band / "On a cold winter night, a band of Angels sing" - Being: Angel

Writing Club

Assorted Appreciation: It's A Wonderful Life - Write about a guardian angel.

Disney - Song 5. Breaking Free - Write about someone 'breaking free' of something.

Trope of the Month - Dialogue: "I can't keep kissing strangers and pretending that they're you!" (bonus)

Space 17. Stability - life is fragile and needs stable conditions. No extreme or weird temperature swings, or anything else of the matter: (word) balance

Book Club - Sam: (dialogue) "I can fix that.", (weather) rain, (plot point) forbidden relationship

Showtime - 10. There is a Santa Claus - (dialogue) "There wasn't time to think."

Amber's Attic - 27. Social Distortion: Write about someone acting on impulse, and the consequences of the action.

Press Play - 3. [word] Miracle

Liza's Loves - 4: "What happened to you? You're filthy. Are you okay? Do you need first aid? Do you need to be nursed tenderly back to health?"

Angel's Archives - 1. Red Velvet Cake - (word) bewitching

Scamander's Case 21. (prompt) write about an action that has a heavy consequence

Bex's Basement - 5. "I hate being right all the time."

Film Festival - 29. (dialogue) "It's Christmas, [Name]. It's the time of miracles."

Marvel - 15: [Dialogue] "It's not about how much we lost, it's about how much we have left."

Lyric Alley - 12. For weak and for strong

Bookworm Club - The Fault in our Stars - John Green. - Quote: "As he read, I fell in love the way you fall asleep: slowly, and then all at once."

Seasonal

Day of the Year - 18th November: Occult Day: Write a fic featuring a supernatural creature.

Autumn - 18. (weather) Rain

Colour: 5. Forest Green

Birthstones: 2. Peridot - (dialogue) "I've got something amazing to show you."

Flower Prompts: 6. Begonia - (plot) A proposal

Tarot Cards: 4. Two of Swords - Write about making a difficult choice.

Air: Sign: 1. Gemini: Remus/Sirius

Bake a Cake - Sugar: [Theme] Fluff

Ravenclaw: Trait: Accepting

Star Chart - December 13th: Geminids Meteor Shower: Prompt: Word: Prolific

Religious Holiday - 29th September: Michael & All Angels (Christian) - AU: Angel

History - 3. In ancient times, autumn was one of the most important periods of the year as daylight began to fade while darkness lay ahead. Prompt: Write about an important moment in someone's life