Part 2

Waking up the next morning felt surreal, like Anne had dreamed the previous day. But, as she started at the canopy above the bed, one that wasn't over the bed she had at Uppercross Cottage, she knew she hadn't. Her mind swam as she remembered all that had happened, from her reason for leaving Uppercross Cottage in the first place to the Captain leading her to her room for the night. She was thankful her dizziness and nausea had passed, but the shame and embarrassment felt heavy at the bottom of her stomach. Breakfast would be starting under the hour, but she didn't know if she could face the Crofts or Captain Wentworth just.

She tried to piece all that occurred yesterday in her mind accordingly, but things didn't seem to fit. His behavior after seeing her the first time pointed to his confusion and chivalrous concern, but the second time when he found her pointed to something more than chivalrous concern. She wanted to have hope for something, anything, but after eight and a half years of nothing and his actions thus far pointing to him having moved on and forgotten her, she could not give her heart that hope.

The servants could be heard moving about the halls and it didn't take long for Margaret, her previous maid, to come in and check on her.

"How are you feeling, Miss Elliot," she asked, opening the curtains just enough for the soft morning light to filter in.

"I am much better, Margaret," Anne replied, moving slowly out of bed. "Thank you."

"Would you like me to help you dress this morning?"

Anne nodded, "Please."

They made quick work of Anne's dress and, as the hour grew near for breakfast, Anne couldn't bring herself to go down. To face Captain Wentworth again, with a clear mind and an even heavier heart, was too daunting a task. She wished she had a stronger will and mind, a trait the Captain had expressed he wanted in a partner, but she found it weak after the previous days' events.

Five minutes to nine came a knock at her door. Thinking it was Margaret again, she bade her to enter. As Anne turned to the door, she instead found Captain Wentworth instead in the doorway, respectfully standing on the outside. He was freshly shaven and put together, and the ache in her heart spread just a little wider.

"Good morning, Miss Elliot," he said, bowing to her. Anne returned the bow with a curtsey, her upbringing turning her on automatic while her mind tried to catch up. "May I escort you down to break our fast?"

"Of course," Anne replied. She managed to keep her shock from showing, but she still felt it. She didn't know what to expect from him, feeling that at any moment she might wake up from a cruel dream or he might pull away and return to his cold civility. "Thank you."

She walked and took the arm he stretched out to her, a heat rising in her as it always did when they touched. She was attuned to him, in a way that caused her more painful reminders than happy ones. There was a tension that seemed to melt from him when they began to walk, and it confused Anne.

"How are you feeling this morning, Miss Elliot," Captain Wentworth asked, voice softer than she thought it could be.

"Much better, Captain Wentworth," Anne answered, mustering up a little courage to squeeze his arm to try and assure him. It was not wholly the truth, but he did not need to know that.

"I am glad for it." They stopped to ascend the stairs slowly, for her sake Anne knew. Anne could not detect the cold indifference that he had previously afforded her, instead he seemed cautious. She couldn't understand it. "It is fortunate I happened upon you when I did."

Anne looked up in surprise, feeling as though this must be a lie. It was unfathomable that he found it fortunate, but he seemed sincere. It was jarring, sincerity wasn't an emotion he had directed at her since renewing their acquaintance.

"Yes," Anne replied, hesitantly. "You have my gratitude, Captain."

They entered the breakfast room, where Admiral and Mrs. Croft were already seated. Captain Wentworth guided her to the seat that was directly beside Mrs. Croft, pulling out the chair for her, waiting until she seated before taking the seat across from her.

"Miss Elliot, how are you feeling? You gave us quite the scare." Admiral Croft asked enthusiastically.

"I am very sorry to have caused everyone so much worry. I am feeling better, Admiral," Anne answered, turning to both the Crofts, "Thank you for housing me. It was very kind of you."

"Think nothing of it, Miss Elliot," Mrs. Croft kindly said, "You are most welcome here anytime you'd like, for it was your home before it has been ours."

"Thank you, Mrs. Croft." The smile she offered them was as genuine as she could muster up, and she could not help but glance at the Captain to see how he looked. He regarded at her with the ghost of a smile, like he wasn't quite ready to give her a full one. It was progress, she thought, but progress to what she hadn't much of a clue.

The Admiral motioned for them all to start their breakfast, which allowed for Anne to concentrate on something other than her folly's the day before. Captain Wentworth and Admiral Croft conversed together, talking about their plans for the day. Anne felt out of place, like an intruder.

"We have invited the Musgrove's and Hayter's for dinner tonight," Mrs. Croft started, turning to Anne and offering a smile, "We do hope that you'll be well enough to come back and join them."

"Of course," Anne accepted. Hoping to reassure them of her health, she continued, "I am well enough. Yesterday was an odd day for me, I am not normally so careless with my wellbeing."

"I quite understand." Mrs. Croft patted her hand, "I hear you are quite the nurse to your sister and nephews. They are fortunate to have such a dedicated woman taking care of them."

Anne was glad for the topic change, "I am happy to be needed. They are dear boys and Mary is always wanting for some help."

"Two boys of similar age are like to getting in all kinds of trouble," Mrs. Croft laughed, glancing over at Captain Wentworth before returning her gaze to Anne. "Edward and Fredrick were always getting in trouble when we were young. Always running about and causing such ruckus."

"As I recall," Captain Wentworth interjected, startling Anne slightly, "You were there with us causing ruckus." He smiled at the both of them and when he caught Anne's eyes, she watched as his smile widened.

"Oh Fredrick," Mrs. Croft said, her voice teasing, "What would Miss Elliot think of me if she knew that?"

"I would think you were a great deal more fun to be around than my own sisters," Anne assured, blushing when everyone looked at her. "A little trouble here and there would have been welcome."

A pleased smile passed over Mrs. Croft's, which made Anne happier than she would have thought. It shouldn't matter that Mrs. Croft liked her, but as she was Captain Wentworth's sister and her father's tenant, her opinion mattered quite a lot.

The rest of breakfast passed with Mrs. Croft talking to Anne about various topics while the Admiral and Captain discussed some friends that the Captain had in Lyme. Anne dared only a few times to glimpse over at them and it struck her how different he was with her and his family than when the Musgrove's were around. His face was open and warm, much like how he was during their engagement.

Just as breakfast was coming to an end, Charles Musgrove was announced. Anne felt her cheeks color for she knew that Charles would have ample to say on her disappearance. He made his greetings, coming into the room before turning to Anne.

"Oh, Anne, you had us all very worried," Charles proclaimed, moving to stand beside her. "Mary was beside herself; she had thought you had been captured by highwaymen. I assured her that there could be no highwaymen on the roads around Uppercross or Kellynch, but we were still very worried."

"I am sorry I caused so much trouble," Anne replied, "I did not mean to."

"No," Charles agreed, "No, I assured Mary much of the same. I knew something must have overcome you for such a thing to happen. I am glad Wentworth found you. I quite forgot there was a way to Kellynch from behind Uppercross Village that you must have taken."

Anne did not try to say anything else, just let Charles talk as there was nothing for her to say. She could not explain herself, could not explain the pathway she took except that it was path she knew well. She also knew how little it was used, which would have been perfect for the privacy she had wanted. She wished that people would realize how out of character this was for her and chalk it up to nothing more than a singular occurrence, but this wouldn't be the last time she would have to hear about her mistake. Mary and the rest of the Musgroves would prove that point.

Charles turned to thank the Crofts and Captain Wentworth for finding her and taking her in while she was ill. Anne felt a gaze upon her and when she glanced up, she found that it was Captain Wentworth watching her. She was still not used to his open gaze on her person and she felt her blush deepen, but she felt compelled to keep their gazes locked. It felt pivotal to her in that moment to have him see her differently than he had yesterday, to try and recover her weakness in his eyes.

It didn't last long, with Charles distracting Anne with questions about her health and if she was ready to make the journey back to the cottage. The servants were directed to put Anne's small bag of things into Charles' carriage and without much delay, Anne was readied to leave.

"Miss Elliot," Mrs. Croft said, pulling Anne to the side as the men talked, "I would dearly love for you to come and visit me a few times while you are still with your sister. I dearly love my husband and brother, but sometimes one does need another woman to talk to. And at these dinner parties, well, there is only so many times I can talk about lace."

"I'd be honored to, Mrs. Croft," Anne replied, smiling kindly. "I'd love to hear more about your years of being abroad and the days of a captain's wife."

"I would be delighted to. But please, call me Sophia," Sophia gave her a wink, "If we are to get to know each other, formalities are not needed."

"Then please also call me Anne," Anne replied, happy with this development.

They made plans to meet the following day for tea, and as Anne made the move to leave, Sophia pulled her into a hug. Over Sophia's shoulder, Anne saw the Admiral's smile and Captain Wentworth's surprised eyes, a reaction Anne was sure she mirroed. Though she was used to the Musgrove sisters giving her hugs, she was not used to it from anyone else, especially her own family. It felt friendly in a sense that Anne hadn't known since she went to school in Bath, a notion that made her ache. She could feel her eyes begin to water and she closed them to stave away the tears.

Anne thanked them all again when she pulled away from Sophia, unnerved for a moment when the Captain offered his hand to hand her into the carriage. It was far more intimate than it should have been, because she could feel his eyes watch her every move, and when she did look back at him once she was settled, she felt incredibly warm. He seemed to resemble the Fredrick she once knew so much in that moment and it felt as though the past eight and a half years hadn't occurred.

Charles took Captain Wentworth's attention after that, asking for him to come by the next morning for some shooting. It gave Anne the chance to catch her breath for which she was grateful. They soon departed and Anne welcomed the sort of normalcy that seemed to fall over her.

The carriage ride allowed Anne to think about all the things that seemed to change since the morning before. Charles talked on, without needing Anne to supply a response much at all. Anne realized that there had been a small shift that occurred between Captain Wentworth and herself, and she could only attribute it to his finding her twice in embarrassing displays of weakness. He had not treated her with the cold civility and indifference that he normally had and even his actions spoke to his regard for her having changed. It was difficult to think about because she wanted to believe that he had forgiven her and might still love her as she still loved him, but there was nothing concrete that pointed to that. A few sincere gestures and warm gazes for a day wasn't enough for her hope to rise once again. It would be too painful, if things fell through and Anne wasn't sure she had the strength for such a disappointment and heartbreak.

So, instead, she resolved to be open and receptive should he continue this change of behavior, but she would not allow her heart to hope for the one thing she wanted so very dearly.

Anne was welcomed back at the cottage with Mary complaining how worried she had become and how thoughtless it had been of Anne to leave her in such a delicate state with little Charles still so sick. Anne did her best to appease her sister, but she knew that until Mary felt that she had complained enough, she would not stop.

The rest of the Musgrove's came before luncheon to the cottage as well, all expressing their own happiness that Anne was better and did not seem to be hurt. Anne felt quite ill by the end of their visit, the shame of having worried so many people and the embarrassment of having to explain what happened, without divulging her tears. Louisa declared that it was good that the Captain had found her and expressed that she hoped that, if anything were to happen to her, that the Captain would be there to save her too. The shame in Anne could only build after that.

The day passed slowly after the Musgrove's visit, with Anne taking care of Mary in her mood and little Charles in his unease and pain. Anne was exhausted by the time the Croft's dinner approached, but she was happy to be going back. Sophia's proposed closer friendship offered her a respite from the Musgrove's she had not previously considered until after they had left that afternoon. Sophia had lived a life that Anne had wanted to live since she had met Fredrick and Anne wanted to hear all of it.

The Musgrove's and Haytor's had arrived before Anne, Mary, and Charles, and the room bustled with activity. The first thing that Anne noticed was how Captain Wentworth stood beside the Admiral and Sophia, instead of where he normally was which was beside Louisa or Mr. Musgrove. It wouldn't have stood out for anyone else, but Anne always knew exactly where Captain Wentworth was whenever they met, and this was not so different. She found this change curious, more than anything, and wondered to herself if this was an addition to the changes he had gone through.

Once they all made their greetings, Sophia pulled Anne to one of the seats against the wall, away from everyone else. "I am glad to see you're looking far better tonight than this morning, Anne."

"I am feeling much better," Anne replied, "Food and keeping busy with Mary and little Charles helped more than I would have thought."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it." Sophia gazed across the room before turning back to Anne, "Fredrick plans to go to Lyme in two days to visit Captain Benwick and Captain Harville, his friends from his time in the Navy."

"Oh," Anne was confused for a moment before remembering bits and pieces from the Admiral and Captains discussion at breakfast. "That will be very good for him. Lyme is not too far from here."

"Indeed, it is not," Sophia agreed, "We have sent along an invitation to have Captain Harville's family and Captain Benwick come to Kellynch. This is a large house, as I'm sure you'll agree, and having some more rooms filled will be wonderful."

"Does Captain Harville have many children?"

"He has three, two daughters and a son. Captain Benwick was engaged to Captain Harville's sister before she unexpected passed while they were away," Sophia answered, sadness passing over her features. "I was hoping by them coming here, they would get a chance to enjoy themselves and join in on some merry company."

"I'm sure they'd love to come, and if Kellynch is to be filled with children again, I'd think it a fine endeavor," Anne encouraged. Anne was curious to see the men that Captain Wentworth lead and called friend. She had only heard the stories he had told, had recognized their names almost immediately from those stories. The difference here would be hearing stories about the Captain from those who knew him best, during the years she had not.

She wanted to ask more about Sophia's own journey's abroad, but a shadow fell across them and Anne knew, without looking up, that it was Captain Wentworth's. "It is time to enter the dining room, Sophia."

"Thank you, Fredrick," Sophia said, standing up with Anne's hand still in hers. "Please do take Miss Elliot into the dining room."

Anne started to object, feeling like this was a trap for him more than her, but there was no escape when Sophia put Anne's hand into Captain Wentworth's. Anne realized quite suddenly that neither she nor the Captain wore any gloves, the skin to skin contact causing her hand to tingle and her whole body to heat. She tried to say something, anything really, but all she could do was offer him an embarrassed smile as he placed her hand on his outstretched arm.

"It would be my pleasure," he said lowly for only Anne and Sophia to hear, smiling all the while. Anne blushed, meeting Sophia's gaze that showed her pleasure and amusement. She had never thought that Sophia knew anything about her and Captain Wentworth's past because Sophia had never said anything about, but in that moment, Anne could not help but think that she very well might.

They followed Sophia to the Admiral, who announced to the whole room that dinner would be served in the adjoining dining room. Anne observed the room, feeling incredibly out of place at the front with the Crofts, and this being confirmed when she saw the looks on Louisa and Henrietta's faces. The Captain usually offered to escort both sisters into the dining room and it was highly irregular for him to take just Anne.

"If you'd like to take the Miss Musgrove's in," Anne hedged, trying to give him an out of this predicament if he should choose it. It was hard to do so, because she liked the feeling of being on his arm, but it had not been his choice. "I would not mind."

Captain Wentworth looked at her fully then, as if considering her. His eyes softened as he shook his head, "No, Miss Elliot, I'd like to take you in, if you'd allow me."

Anne tried not to be shocked by this admission, but it must have shown because Captain Wentworth offered her a smile to reassure her. Anne smiled tentatively back and looked to her left to avoid the overwhelmed feeling that begun to build in her chest. She caught Louisa's narrowed eyes on them with Henrietta beside her whispering into Louisa's ear, gesturing to their Haytor cousins, who would be taking them into dinner.

They followed the Crofts in, with Captain Wentworth pulling out Anne's chair for her to sit beside Sophia. He sat on her other side, the Crofts having no real care for the seating arrangement. It was a move that ended with Louisa being on the other side of the room, which clearly made Louisa displeased, a displeasure she did not make known. It made Anne uncomfortable for a moment and she turned her attention to the Admiral as he motioned for their dinner to start.

Dinner passed with little else but stories from the Admiral and Mr. Musgrove. Anne was acutely aware of Captain Wentworth by her side, feeling his gaze on her more often than not. She returned his glances when she was sure his attention was elsewhere, finding him to be reserved, but no less charming and responsive. He answered every question and added his own anecdotes to the Admiral's stories, but it wasn't as much or as lively as before. This puzzled Anne; she could not imagine why he would become reserved.

When dinner was over, Captain Wentworth escorted her out of the dining room, following everyone else into Kellynch's larger sitting room. Louisa entered with her younger cousin but left his side to come talk to Anne.

"Oh, Anne, do you think you could play some music for us to dance to?" Louisa looked at Captain Wentworth as she said this, only turning back at Anne when she could not capture the Captain's gaze or approval at the idea.

Anne felt obliged to agree, "If the Admiral and Mrs. Croft have no objections."

"I don't see why they would," Louisa countered, regarding the Crofts, "They did not object last time."

"No," Anne granted, trying to placate her, "But we should ask all the same."

Louisa made her agreement and went towards the Crofts to obtain their approval. Anne sighed, feeling rightfully tired after the long day she had had. She was beginning to feel lightheaded and a little dizzy again. She tried to breathe a little deeper, wanting the feeling to pass quickly. She did not want to embarrass herself and she did want to make Louisa happy with some dancing, it was a small price to pay.

"Miss Elliot, are you well?" Captain Wentworth asked, his arm coming up to lightly grasp her elbow.

"Yes," Anne answered, putting a hand on her chest to ground herself. She looked up at him to assure him further, but his concern stopped her for a moment. It was the same expression of concern that he had given her the night before. "I will play a few songs for Louisa, but I do not think I can do very many."

"You should rest," he argued, his hand still on her elbow.

"I have already agreed," Anne replied weakly. He was right, of course, she should sit and rest. It was just hard to say no, especially to Louisa when her request was so simple and easily done.

"Excuse me for one moment." Captain Wentworth moved toward Louisa and Sophia, leaving Anne bewildered.

It was good the Captain had led her into the room to stand beside a seat. She sat down and began to take calming breaths, closing her eyes and leaning against the back of the seat. It helped, chasing away the dizziness to the edge, just out of sight. She still thought she could only do a few songs for their party, hoping that Louisa would not be too disappointed.

There were approaching footsteps a few moments later, belonging to that of Sophia.

"Anne, Louisa has agreed to dancing another evening. You must be feeling the effects of yesterday now after a long day," Sophia said, taking the seat beside Anne.

"It is nothing," Anne tried to reassure her, "I would happy to offer some entertainment."

"You will forgive me," Sophia replied with a smile as she took Anne's hand into both of hers, "If I play surgeon and disagree. I would not want you to get ill for some bit of entertainment."

Anne colored, but did not press any further. She realized, belatedly, that Captain Wentworth had gone to Sophia to advocate on her behalf. When she tried to find him, she found him beside Charles and Mr. Musgrove, watching her and Sophia. He bowed his head in acknowledgement before turning to Charles and Mr. Musgrove again and began talking. She felt important and seen, just for a moment, and she had no thought of how to deal with it.

The evening came to an end a half hour later, when Mary expressed a want to go home. Anne and Charles made no attempt to argue with her, already knowing that it would be a futile discussion. Really, Anne was gratified to be leaving as she was feeling her fatigue.

They made their thanks for dinner to Sophia and the Admiral, with Charles reminding Captain Wentworth of their hunting outing the next morning. Captain Wentworth agreed once again, saying that he would meet Charles at the Cottage after breakfast. She was grateful that Captain Wentworth did not follow them out to the carriage, like he had that morning, instead letting Charles hand both she and Mary in.

A carriage ride with Charles and Mary was never quiet, for each had their fill to say. Charles was happy to have such good friends in the Admiral and Captain, and Mary commented on the dinner they had presented, naming it passable. Anne was content to listen, leaning her head against the wall of the carriage to combat the swaying of the carriage.

"Captain Wentworth paid you great attention tonight, Anne," Mary said, drawing Anne from her reverie. She was leaning her head against Charles' shoulder, looking at Anne expectantly. "I dare say he is quite over his fancy of Louisa. He did not speak above two words to her."

Anne could say nothing that would appease Mary's curiosity, so she continued to peer out into the darkness around them. She had no perception on why the Captain was acting the way he was, and she did not want to start questioning everything like Mary was often to do. It was just one nights change of character and there was no guarantee that things would be different in the coming days. Captain Wentworth would be off Lyme after his hunting outing with Charles the following day, so she would wait to see if this change continued.

She let the sway of the carriage lull her into a calm until they had reached the cottage and she could finally get into her bed and sleep away the last two days.

A/N:

Thank you so much to every single one of the people who reviewed, favorited, and followed this story. I honestly was not expecting this type of feedback, but it encouraged me so much to keep writing. You're all gems, so thank you again!

I hope you enjoyed this! This is unbeta'd again, but I think I got most of my errors. if not, please excuse them!

P.S. this fic is titled after "before you go" by lewis capaldi. this fic's alt title wouldve been named from lyrics from the song "so long" by niall horan