Summary: It was a mistake and Washington knew it. He regretted it the moment he realized what he had done but the damage was done. He knew that one punch to relieve his anger was not worth the scared look he saw in his son's eyes.

It was only one punch but it was one too much.

Warning: Past child abuse

Washington watched hopelessly at his boy who sat next to his friends at the table.

Alexander always ready for action and to fight. One who held himself always confidently talked non-stop and with bright passioned eyes that held a flame nobody thought could be doused.

Well, they were wrong. It could be. What once was so alive was now silent, guarded and dulled. The flame had been destroyed and what was left were ashes.

It pained Washington to know that he had been the reason for this. Because this was so wrong.

Alexanders small group of close friends were worried. They tried to cheer him up and on an occasion, they did get a small smile out of the kid. Small victories.

The other soldiers thought it was a joke that would wear off. They joked about it. Talking about how nice it was but it ended pretty quickly once time went on and things didn't get better.

The lack of their small energetic lion was affecting everyone. The lack of a small bit of annoying light in the war was hard.

The boy barely talked anymore, he still worked flawlessly and efficiently. He spoke when spoken to and acted very maturely. It would have been probably nice for any other general but not to George Washington.

Because he loved the energized young man he had gotten to know. He liked how passionate and how intelligent the boy was.

But this shell was not his Alexander and he wanted him back. He just didn't know-how.

Washington closes his eyes and thinks about the worst mistake he had made.

6 days ago.

Washington had been mad as hell. Everyone knew about his anger issues and how his temper was truly scary and something to avoid.

He rarely was violent against any living being during these moments. He usually trashed his office and was alone. Nobody in the way so nobody got hurt.

But sometimes with his anger on it's worst. He would see red and do something he would regret. And God if there was anything on his path during these times.

And that day there was.

Hamilton.

He had been truly livid. His jaw was clenched and fury was fogging his mind. How dare Lee go and do this? So many good men lost to the man's cowardice.

He wants to destroy something. Punch something and his office sounds like a good place to start but then he hears shouting in the distance. He walks fast outside to see Hamilton sprawling on the ground against some soldier. Washington's already high anger boiled and was just barely held back.

"WHAT IS THE MEANING OF THIS?" He shouts in fury. Everyone freezes on their tracks. They could all see Washington was nit in the mood.

"Sir-" Hamilton tries but Washington cuts him off with the glare.

"I do not want to hear your excuse right now. Everyone get back to work and do not disturb me anymore today. We will talk later" He hears yes sirs and walks away briskly. The need to hit something intensified.

He walks into his office and slams it shut loudly. He goes to his desk and after a while, he swipes the contents on it away. He breathes heavily as he looks at the mess. Then...

A knock. A knock on his fucking door after he has said that nobody should disturb him.

He goes to a door a rips it open. And the stands Hamilton. Eyes huge and worried.

They stare for a moment.

"Sir-"

"HAMILTON WHAT THE FUCK DID I JUST SAY ABOUT DISTURBING ME?" He shouts. He normally doesn't curse but he was way too angry.

"To not to but-"

"EXACTLY! AND YOU DISOBEYED. YOU ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL SOMETIMES."

"Sir.."

"SHUT UP! I SOMETIMES WONDER WHY THE HELL DID I HIRE YOU. SURE YOU'RE SMART BUT SO IS BURR AND AT LEAST HE KNOWS HOW TO KEEP QUIET AND OBEY!"

" But sir I was just worried. You seemed angry and then there was a loud noise and-"

And before Washington realized he had drawn his hand back and struck Alexander. Fist tight and full strength. Alexander flew backward hitting his head on the door frame and sagging like a ragdoll. His head started to bleed.

Washington seems to snap out of it instantly. His anger morphing into horror as Alexander touches the back of his head and his fingers stain with blood.

Washington moves forward. Alexander flinches away in fear. Eyes glassy unshed tears but not willing tonlet the slide. Washington freezes.

It was a mistake and Washington knew it. He regretted it the moment he realized what he had done but the damage was done. He knew that one punch to relieve his anger was not worth the scared look he saw in his son's eyes.

It was only one punch but it was one too much.

Suddenly Alexander's face goes plank. He gets up wobbly and looks up at his general with dulled eyes.

"Alex-"

"I'm sorry for bothering you, sir. It won't happen again. Have a good evening" he says monotonously and walks away. Washington frozen unable to stop the boy. He watches as Alexander and probably the change of getting to have any form of fatherly relationship with him walks out.

Alexander felt dazed. Washington had hit him. Hard.

He had been worried. The bastard soldier was insulting their commander so Alex had hit them. Then the general walked in clearly angry and disappeared into his office.

So, of course, Alex had followed him. Wanting to make sure the man he had started to like as a father was okay. He heard a crash and quickly knocked at the door.

He never expected to be insulted and hit. But really he should have seen it coming. They were all like that so far. Making you feel safe and taking your trust then throwing it down to dirt and stomping on it.

It hurt not only physically but mentally. He had really started to like this man. Trust him. What a mistake. Just like... just like father.

Well never again. Once bitten twice shy.

So he masked his pain. Made his face plank and left. He didn't want to hear it. He didn't want to hear the man apologize and tell him it would never happen again only to be let down later.

Because it will. He knew. He learned. It started like that before. He remembers when father said it when he was 4 and broke the plate.

Promising to never to hurt him again. That he was sorry only to do it again a few days later. And then again. And then again but then he would kick. And later he got a belt.

And again. Until he was ten and father finally left them. It had been the happiest moment in his life.

He wasn't lying when he told Eliza that he had a tolerance for pain. The scars on his back were a good example.

And now he was here. America. Place where things were supposed to be better. Nothing works out.

So he keeps quiet, he does like he told and doesn't let others touch him. Washington didn't like it when he talked. He didn't like it when he disobeyed. So he wouldn't. No reason to anger the man more. He learned when he was young to never anger father more.

His friends were worried. He felt bad but it would be better than a beating.

He wanted to cry. But he wouldn't. Father always got angrier when he cried. He could do this just win the war and it would be fine.

Next time Washington had a chance to talk it was in the showers. He walked in and found Alexander there. Alexander without a shirt. Alexander with old red scars on his back.

Washington felt his heart stop and sink. Oh, shit... no... Alexander...

"Alex..." he breathed out.

Alexander spun around wide-eyed and scared. Once he realized what had his General had seen he started to back away slowly.

"S-sir. I-"

"Alex who did that to you?"

Alexander shook his head. Washington would be mad.

"I-I'm sorry sir please"

"Son, I'm not going to hurt you. What I did was inexcusable I am so so sorry" Washington said slowly and as non threateningly as he could. It pained him to see the boy afraid of him.

"No... no... you're lying! You will. You just say that and then... you... just like him..." Alexander's breathing quickened. He knew he shouldn't break down. Especially in front of this man. Who knows if-

"Like who Alexander?" Washington asked gently.

"Like...like father..." Alexander breather out.

Washington felt his already broken heart shatter. Those marks were from Alexander's father. And if the kid saw Washington anything close to father figure it must not have done any good by hurting him. Washington wanted to cry.

"Alex no... please I- I know I don't deserve this but please give me a chance. I promise I won't do it again. I know it sounds really empty but I won't. Let me prove it."

Alex stares as Washington pleads with him. He had heard that before and it had been broken before. But he still wanted to.

"We miss the old you. I miss the old you. And I don't deserve to ask this but please come back"

Alex thinks about it. He really shouldn't. It would bite him but he does. He nods. One chance and he knows that if it's broken he won't give another. Never again.

Washington breaths slowly. He had one change he was not throwing it away. He moves slowly next to his boy and with a questioning gaze asks permission to touch. Once give he hugs Alexander and swears he will never do anything like this again.

The next months are trying. Alex barely lets him touch him. But that's alright. He had already starting to come back from the shell he used to be. He started to talk more.

Yet they weren't the same. Alexander would still be careful around Washington. More respectful more guarded. Maybe a bit more relaxed but not as they used to be.

Alex started to trust him more. He could forgive but he won't forget.

Notes: Well that was...something. I love Washingdad so this was kinda sad. I had no idea how to end this cause really I don't think it should be very good for him to just come back and everything is fine.

Violence is never good and abuse even less. So be a better person and don't abuse other people mentally or physically.

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