A/N: So after over a year of inactivity, who's ready for a weird Christmas story that doesn't really have much to do with Christmas? Who isn't?!

Disclaimer: I don't own Gravity Falls. It belongs to Alex Hirsch and his amazing team. Though in my dreams I'm part of that team... and then I wake up. *Sobs* I am also making no money from writing this.

The flaming mistletoe hung ominously above everyone's heads.

First of all it was on fire but not burning up. Second, no one knew how it had gotten there or someone wouldn't fess up to having put it there. But who wouldn't? It was on fire and not burning. That was bragging rights for at least a week!

Thirdly the flame was bright blue. So it wasn't normal fire. Considering all the demons that crowded the room it could have been any one of them but they all claimed that it wasn't. Even the fire demons insisted that they didn't do it and lit up their own fire to prove that their colours didn't match the flaming plant.

Although that in itself wasn't hard proof. Colour changing spells and enchantments were very easy to do. Even humans could use them once they learnt the right incantation. Mabel used them on her sweaters frequently!

Dipper finally gave up on questioning all the people/demons/monsters/whatever else was at the Christmas party his Grunkles had decided to throw.

They had decided to take a break from weirdness hunting to come home for Christmas and they had wanted everyone to come to the Mystery Shack so all their non-human friends could be part of the festivities.

Luckily for Dipper and Mabel their parents hadn't wanted to make the trip and they didn't want to stop the twins from going if they wanted to. Which duh of course they did!

They hadn't been to Gravity Falls for a while as life had kept them both busy. Dipper had just finished his masters in physics and Mabel had come back from the runways in Milan. They were both excited to go back to Gravity Falls and all their friends once more.

Giving a quick survey of the crowds Dipper could see Mabel's friends Candy and Grenda making lots of noise as usual. Wendy was there with her friends, half of which Dipper didn't know the names of which he felt bad about. He'd introduce himself to them later. Robbie was also with the group along with Soos and Melody. Pacifica was the only one of the Northwest's to receive an invite but she was there chatting away with Mabel and co.

Dipper knew that they had all remained close friends and had even visited her several times across the world at various runway shows that Mabel had designs in.

Other townspeople had come, glad to see the elder Pines twins safely back before they disappeared again. Among them were Lazy Susan, Toby Determined, Sheriff Blubs, Deputy Durland, Tyler Cutebiker, McGucket, Gideon (whom Mabel was avoiding like the plague. He was still convinced he could win her affection), Tad Strange, 'Manly' Dan, Shandra the news reporter (who was speaking to everyone like they were having an interview) and that was just the human half of the guests.

The gnomes were everywhere, although some were actually having intelligent conversations instead of just stealing food and generally being annoying. Mulit-bear was outside with Rumble McSkirmish and .GIFfany whom Grunkle Ford had let out of their games for the special occasion. The two Dipper clones that had survived where milling about and confusing everyone which they found hilarious. Dipper (the original or Dipper Classic as they called him) did not approve but couldn't help but laugh. They were technically him so they shared the same sense of humour.

Sev'ral Timez were keeping the entertainment going and were encouraging people to get up and dance on the impromptu dance floor; which was just space that no one was currently standing in. Blendin Blandin was stood nervously in the corner but that was normal for him and nobody paid him much attention.

Basically anyone and everyone that either sets of the Pine twins had befriended was there. It was crowded, loud, smelly and something broke every few minutes but Dipper knew he wouldn't have it any other way.

As the party raged on with everyone talking, laughing, dancing and having an all round good time the flaming plant above them was slowly forgotten about until two people stood under it at the same time.

The blue flames sprung down from the ceiling and surrounded the couple, affectively trapping them. The entire party froze as they all looked at the scene in horror.

Ford leapt into action, Dipper flowing closely behind. They tried everything from throwing water on the strange flames and several incantations to release the trapped pair, all to no avail. In the end it was Mabel that found the solution.

"You're under mistletoe. Just kiss." She threw out nonchalantly. Ford and Dipper both slapped their foreheads at the same time. For being two of the smartest people in Gravity Falls they could definitely be really dumb sometimes.

Obviously the people inside the flames had heard her as the flames returned to the ceiling leaving the kissing couple to be ogled by everyone. Once they realised that they had an audience they both stepped back blushing furiously. But Mabel took note of the fact that they left the room together holding hands.

Once more the party resumed and they were careful to not step under the mistletoe with someone else.

But this was Gravity Falls and it kept on happening. Couple after couple fell prey to the flaming flower and every time it created such a disturbance in the party that Grunkle Stan had finally had enough and went to take it down.

Why no one had already tried this was lost on everybody. It seemed all of them could be stupid at times.

Only once Grunkle Stan reached for the plant did they realise it was a bad idea. The flames licked at Grunkle Stan's hand and he yelped as it burnt him. It wasn't a bad burn thankfully but it was obvious that the mistletoe was there to stay and that they'd have to try their best to avoid it.

The party started to wind down as it got into the early hours of the morning. Eventually only the Pines family were left clearing up.

After stubbing his toe for the third time Grunkle Stan angrily announced that he was going to bed and that the rest of the clean up could wait until morning. Ford ultimately agreed and he disappeared into his lab where he had moved his bed into. Mabel also bid Dipper goodnight and told him not to stay up much longer as he insisted that he wanted to get as much cleaning done before he went to sleep. He knew that having to clean up in the morning would just irritate him so he wanted to clear as much as possible now.

And if he had an ulterior motive, well that was for him to know and for no one else to find out.

Once he was sure that there was no one else around, he reached up and plucked the flaming mistletoe from where it hung. Unlike Stan, the flame didn't burn Dipper but seemed to gently caress his hand.

He smiled as the flame began to climb his arm and slowly morph into the shape of a hand that came to rest upon his cheek. He closed his eyes for a moment leaning into the fire's touch and when he opened them again a flaming silhouette replaced the glowing flower.

The silhouette slowly took on a more human looking form; one that had a cheeky smile on it's face.

"You were right Pine Tree, that was a lot of fun." The now fully corporal form of Dipper's boyfriend whispered excitedly as not to alert anyone else to his presence.

"Don't I always have the best ideas Bill?" Dipper asked back rhetorically.

The former Dream Demon just smirked in reply.

"Come on, let's go outside so we can talk properly." Dipper whispered. Bill nodded along eagerly.

Once they left the walls of the Mystery Shack Bill took the lead and started to drag Dipper into the surrounding forest. Trusting Bill completely Dipper let himself be dragged.

They ended up in the clearing where Bill's old statue had been, where they had re-met; where they had gotten to know each other properly once all the hostilities where out of their systems; where they had begun their relationship.

Thinking on that Dipper told Bill, "I think Mabel's on to us. She knows that I'm dating someone. She hasn't brought it up but I know that she knows."

Bill turned to him, "Shooting Star is a clever one."

"That she is." Dipper agreed.

"So, are you going to tell her? Tell all of them that I'm not dead and have turned over a new leaf?" Bill asked as he turned his wrists making all the leaves in the trees turn three hundred and sixty degrees. Dipper laughed at his action.

"Maybe in the new year. Definitely before I got back to uni for my doctorate."

Bill smiled widely. "So I get to have you all to myself and I get to survive for a few more months. Fabulous."

"They won't kill you Bill." Bill raised an eyebrow. "Not straight away at least. They'll need time to get over the shock and gather weapons." He laughed again at Bill's unimpressed face.

"Okay, enough of that jolly conversation and let's get on with what I really dragged you out here for."

Dipper nodded eagerly.

With a click of Bill's fingers mistletoe appeared all around them along with the occasional ball of blue fire for lighting and ambiance.

Bill opened his arms from where he sat with a gentle welcoming smile gracing his face.

Dipper grinned back and walked forwards to claim his promised Christmas kiss.

A/N: Please let me know what you thought of this. Even if you thought it was weird garbage. All criticisms welcome!