Deadeye

Chapter (1.1) - A Sense of Space is Mandatory, it Seems

The concept of mandatory education is a flawed execution in order to obtain relevant knowledge. Such a thing might have worked for the past few centuries, but with the prevalence of the Internet interconnecting different spheres of thought and science, the need for mandatory schooling all but disappears due to the ease of which one could acquire information from the net itself.

Of course, one could rebut my point by saying that going to school is important for cultivating social skills relevant for getting a job and other important life skills, but! I desire to be a househusband! One does not require social skills when the rest of the time spent at my 'job' consists of taking care of the house and kids!

Also, important life skills? School does not teach you how to file taxes! School does not show you the proper way to invest in stocks and the proper way of simulating a workspace! The simple fact that I do not know such things by this point in time is proof of the fact that schools mishandle the way to appropriate knowledge!

Therefore, this is why I find mandatory education into nothing more than a flawed attempt to pass on knowledge to future human beings. While it does pass on knowledge as its primary purpose, the knowledge itself is useless in today's current society. An admirable effort, but being stuck in the same schooling model for the past few centuries isn't doing you any favors. 2/10.

An aside as well.

School does not teach you how to react to an alien being suddenly declaring itself as the teacher for your homeroom class. Nor does it teach you the proper way to react when the country's own Department of Defense is sponsoring us to kill said alien being. Also, way to put on the pressure when both say that we need to kill said alien being within the year lest the entire earth explodes. I mean, someone should at least have done something, right? It was just one being. It wasn't as if it has some countermeasures to—

Oh.

It can move at Mach 20.

...

This is hopeless. And the government bets its hopes on a class of outcasts and failures to accomplish what the entire world couldn't do? Alright, talk about additional pressure. Not that I didn't need any more.

"For your two years of probation after the incident, I would be transferring you to the E-Class. Do you have any problem with that?"

"None, Principal."

I felt my shoulder being nudged to the side. My gaze turns towards Takebayashi, the otaku lowering his voice to a whisper while leaning his body towards me. Personal space. While sleazy otaku like you don't need it, I sure as hell do. "Ne, Hikigaya, this feels something straight out of a manga, doesn't it?"

"Yeah." I reply, turning back towards my book. A few seconds pass while under the class's ruckus, and I find myself gazing over the edge of my book to stare at said alien being. Yellow skin, beady eyes, wide smile. That expression might be enough to haunt my nightmares for quite some time. Unless that was the alien's point, of course. In which case, more glory to it. Also, much curses. That's my dreams you're haunting, damn it!

... Thank whatever's up there that the alien's wearing clothes, at least. I do not want that image in my mind and oh god please make it stop I need brain bleach— "Hikigaya, you alright?"

I owlishly blink, turning my gaze toward's Takebayashi's own. Not that I could actually see his eyes however, since his glasses were glinting off some kind of light. I take it back. You can only throw yourself off a cliff after you teach me that technique, you otaku. "Uh, yeah. Just... spaced out for a few minutes there."

"Ah. Still in shock, eh?" I narrow my eyes at him, my lips morphing into a scowl.

"Who wouldn't be?" I snap back, rubbing my temples to prepare for the incoming migraine. Still, I didn't bother giving Takebayashi a reply after that, instead focusing back onto the topic at hand. Or at the very least, tentacle-like things with opposable thumb-like appendages. I... don't even know where to start with that. How is this thing a teacher again, with tentacles like that? There's girls in here, y'know? One wrong move and he might as well turn himself to the police out of shame. Or not. The alien could literally get away from anything with that Mach 20 speed.

Ugh, focus. Not on the tenta- appendages themselves, but whatever the alien being's talking about. "Therefore, I do believe that some introductions are in order! Let's start with Kataoka-san, shall we?"

Crap. Introductions. Never really good with those, and I surmise that I'm never going to be good with them for the entirety of my life. After all, I'm planning to be a househusband in the future. There wasn't really enough people to introduce yourself with, since in-laws and my wife's co-workers never really count. Or at the very least, I hope that it shouldn't be. Not that I'm perfectly sure that I'd get a wife in the first place, but at the very least some optimism is required. Else I'd just be a househusband without a wife. One of the most useless jobs ever.

"Psst! Hikigaya! Oi!" I ignored Takebayashi's voice, mostly for my own sanity than anything else. More than likely, he'd bug me with something otaku-related, and I'm not sure that I'd want to go down that rabbit hole. Piping down any and all sorts of chuunibyou was enough. I didn't need to keep additional track of my addiction to figurines and posters, lest I be overswamped with work. Literally the one thing that I'm trying to avoid once I have been opened to the plights of the Japanese workplace.

Alright, so it was more or less running away from the problem as compared to actually taking steps to solve it, but to be fair not that I can do anything by myself—

"Hikigaya-kun!"

—I choked on whatever scream I was supposed to release, immediately snapping out of my thoughts while my eyes lock onto beady blank ones instead. So uh, should've paid attention to my surroundings. I can see those tentac- appendages of the alien swirling around me, snapping those finger-like things that they have at the ends. This is how I'm going to die, isn't it? Death by tentacled alien monster. A bad way to go all things considered, considering that I'm a guy for one, and whatever excuses this alien monster turned teacher would have, he's certainly going to jail for sexual harassment. At the very least, if they had some basic sense of human decency. Once again however, I'm not sure if it applies to someone like this alien thing.

"While having a vivid imagination is good for someone of your age, we'd still like to hear you introduce yourself to the class, Hikigaya-kun."

... Ah. So it was that. Not that I thought about anything else, really. I mean, I don't judge people or... things, based on their appearances, so I'm weirdly tolerant of this kind of stuff. I think. Probably. It's hard to tell just by looking at my face and ignoring my eyes. I should probably introduce myself instead of just babbling on. Who knows what this alien being would do.

"Hikigaya Hachiman. Transferred to the E class for the rest of the year. Specialty is Japanese Literature. Nice to meet you."

Having said my piece, I sat back down and managed to barely go through a panic attack. Most of the E class were already whispering about my rotten luck, while others were muttering about my former position in the C class. All expected, all accounted for. Which was good. I didn't like talking about this for far longer than necessary. At the very least, the alien thing with yellow tentacl– appendages was already slithering along towards the person behind me, a delinquent-type named Yoshida or something like that. He also had eyes like mine, if you know, they were just a little bit better.

"Ne, Hikigaya..."

I huffed, trying to bore a hole through my pocketbook as Takebayashi began prattling once more. This time was a fluke, I promise. Nothing more than my otaku-cover prattling on about some kind of inane nonsense about a galge that conquered 108 little sisters. Truly, a disgusting person with no redeeming qualities to speak of.

A true man would only be satisfied with one. Like Komachi, for example. Of course, it should come with a caveat that both parties are unrelated by blood, lest it becomes nothing more than sickening, disgusting incest.

... I should just stop burying a deeper grave for myself.

[–|–]

Transferring to the E class is commonly seen as a mark of shame, here in Kunugigaoka Junior High School. I can't help but agree with the opinion. After all, they are held up as the shining beacon of what not to do while studying in school, featured and made as laughingstock for each and every single school assembly that I have been to since my transfer into this school about... a year ago. It didn't take me long to know the power structure in this school, and I can't help but feel sorry for the rest of them.

The rest of the student body, that is. Not the E class themselves.

Day in and day out they are forced to memorize formula after formula, example after example, and factoid after factoid in order to gain an edge ahead of their studies, but it does not truly nurture the life skills that one needs to survive in the wild jungle that is reality. Merely remembering a quote from the second stanza of a particular sonnet does not teach you how to argue for a better job position. Knowing the perfect way to cook a spaghetti bologna isn't going to help someone make meals in accordance to their purchasing power. Knowing the myriad forms of government does not help in building connections to other political figures in the current climate. Thus, all subjects that this school teaches is undoubtedly worthless.

See my thoughts on the current system of education for that matter.

Additionally, the values that Kunugigaoka Junior High does instill in its students are pretty idiotic, and would most undoubtedly be useful for someone living half a century ago. Instilling the drive to work hard by the means of the existence of the E class does strive to make the rest of the student body work disturbingly long hours into the night, but it uses the irrational fear of what the E class stands for in order to enforce a tight grip upon the students' mentality.

This should not be the case. The hatred and forced isolation of the E class should be moved to a more logical approach, to show the rest of the student body that they are there due to the individual flaws that they had allowed to fester instead of grouping the whole E class itself into these stereotypes. That the E class should be the probation period for striving to fail the school's values – a last chance to ingratiate themselves once more into the school's vision under the looming threat of expulsion.

Which is the main reason as to why I am here in the first place. Damn my chatty mouth.

"So, Hikigaya eh?"

"Transferred from the main campus to here..."

"... Kind of pathetic, don't ya' think?"

Indeed. The E class should be a mark of shame for failing to live up to the principal's vision. But to see this kind of behavior from someone who is in the E class itself is just... disappointing.

"Hypocrites, the lot of you seem to be."

I jump, the hand slamming next to my ear too close for comfort. My breath quickens. A sharp breath escapes my throat, and my blood begins to pound against my skull. A quick glance down reveals that whoever this Terasaka is, he seems to be confident enough to keep his lower half unguarded. I can use that.

"Heh, you're just like the others. All talk and no game... no wonder you got yourself punted here. You can't get back to where you were, Hikigaya." Don't lean in. For the love of whatever's up there, don't lean in...

Terasaka ignores my warning, and leans even closer whilst meeting my gaze. "You know what that means? It means you're in my territory now— Ghk?!"

A scream echoes through the air. Terasaka's, that is. He crumples to the rotten floorboards as I draw back my knee, hyperventilating and eyes switching to and fro his two lackeys. They take a step back, most likely due to meeting my gaze, and I sprint off while they were distracted towards somewhere... anywhere far from here.

I shudder whilst gripping my arms a few moments later, looking out onto a badly-maintained field and trying to tuck myself into a ball. The concrete steps were as cold as my hands, but luckily they were solid enough to hold my weight as I let the jitters pass through. One moment passes. Two moments pass. I silence a scream when the third moment passes by biting the sleeve of my cardigan and holding it tight.

Never again. Never again. Never again...

"Can't I... Can't I study with Shu for this?"

"He already finished that topic by noon. I suggest you finish the assessment test soon Hachiman-kun, lest you're going to spend the night reviewing your mistakes. Do you have any problem with that?"

"N-No."

Never again.

"Hikigaya-kun." I freeze, finding that lilt to be eerily familiar, and I slowly turn my gaze to the field to find myself staring into the beady eyes of our new 'teacher'. The airsoft gun I have in my cardigan grows heavier, and I slowly take it out and point it towards the alien thing. "H-Hikigaya-kun, put the gun down, and let's talk, yeah? You can't just hold the next class hostage if you don't like it!"

Was that what it looked like from the outside? Yes it did. Math before Japanese Literature. So I sucked at Math. Not that it was any more obvious, but it wasn't what I was actually here for. Might as well go along with the ride and see where this goes. At the very least, my shaking hands were more or less calm.

"Move one step and I'll put a bullet into you."

The alien thing had the gall to click its nonexistent tongue and waggle an opposable appendage at me. "Tsk, tsk, tsk Hikigaya-kun. I can move at Mach 20. There is no way that you can fire that airsoft gun fast enough to hit me, considering that it doesn't even approach a fraction of the speed of sound itseeEEeEEE–?!"

My finger kept on pulling the trigger, the pellets flickering out of sight just before they connected with the alien being and finding them right next to me. Short puffs of air reigned around the alien thing as he flickered in place at speeds of Mach 20, and I soon found myself without bullets as the short puffs of pressurized carbon dioxide were all that was heard in the clearing. Even still, I kept on firing.

"May I?" The alien thing asked, all the way back as to where it was standing, the same unsettling grin on its face. I kept a neutral expression while I nodded, all but throwing the airsoft gun towards the alien thing. It caught the replica with unerring ease, flickering towards the side entrance of the satellite campus with the BB pellets held in a bouquet of tissue paper, and I could feel the smugness oozing from its grin.

"You're assassination's a failure, Hikigaya-kun!" It said, the sing-song voice more than likely responsible for the twitch in my brow. Before it destroyed the Earth, how about it taught me how to do that flash-step like thing instead? At the very least, it can say that it had a worthy disciple or something like that. "Come in, or I'll flag you late for the next class!"

I grumble and follow the show thing, keeping my gaze locked on the airsoft gun to distract myself from the alien thing's opposable tenta– appendages. At the very least, the jitter's gone, and I can finally take a fresh breath that didn't involve blood pounding against my temple.

Something akin to a small smile forms on my lips.

AN: Merry Christmas (on my country, at the very least)! On the 25th of December, a year before the second decade past the second millennium, a story is reborn!

Though seriously, sorry I kept you all waiting. It (the rewrite) was supposed to take just a few months, and I expected it to be done by somewhere around... April, May? Somewhere along those times.

Alas, college happened. Me, social anxiety, and new places don't mix. Spent my first semester trying to get myself accustomed to everything, and I found myself swamped in requirements. Joy. Not to mention that I had to rewrite the storyboard (or at the very least, major events that coincides with the story) a few times that I can write without issue (looking at thou Zenno-sama, you adorable creature that eats up my free time, you are).

So, here's the result. Changing the format to something like a serial to motivate me into continuing on writing it, instead of just dividing chapters by plot point division. Experiments on a few fics with this style to see if it worked, and I must say that I am surprised with the results. Though the greatest factor is the word count being reduced from 3k to 1.5~2.5k. Allows me to write at a more casual pace, which is noice.

Anyways, story! As you might notice, I tried injecting something called 'subtlety' into the fic. Time would tell if it works or not. Until then, I'll await your response to this. I won't cry if anyone bashes this, really.

... I really won't.

Anyways, thank you o' wonderful friends of mine that wouldn't stop me bugging about this fic. You are far more important than you might think. The alarms have nothing to do with this whatsoever.

In any case, this is Erithemaeus, signing out. Hope you guys have a lovely Christmas and enjoy the rewrite!

PS: Oh god the formatting is terrible on mobile. I swear I'll edit this the first time that I get on a PC.

Edit: Finally had my hands on a PC. Edits away!