Deadeye

Chapter (2.3) - Making Alliances With a Psychopath is Weirdly Expected

If there was something else that I hated more than idiots, it's how said idiots are utterly incorrigible once they had set up a path for themselves. Not only is this stubbornness disgusting and sentimental, it also allows them to develop tunnel vision that hampers them from seeing the bigger picture. It's as if a single trigger even can suddenly sink their IQ by fifty, and when that point comes... it's too late. The only thing that you can do is damage control. Which is 'difficult', to say the least. After all, this is Karma that we're talking about here. Sociopathic, psychopathic, I-don't-know-what-goes-on-inside-his-head Akabane Karma.

To gain a semblance of control, I let out an aggrieved sigh and massaged my temples. My face slams into my desk, blocking out the rest of the attention that I would be getting. Stay calm. Keep calm. Take a few deep breaths. Besides, they aren't even that close, anyway. Start panicking when one of them sneaks up on you in like... forever.

"We're keeping her, right?"

"She's not a pet. And you're annoying her." I glumly replied back, propping my head up just so Okuda could see my eyes. Now you see what I have to deal with everyday. If it wasn't for the fact that I spent most of said day busy in trying to keep Karma's tendencies at a minimum, then I would've felt a bit ashamed at my... compatriot's, actions. Now however, I just want this to be done. There is only so much that one can take for the day before shutting down. And I was dangerously close to that limit.

"But..."

"You can just ask her if she wants to join you in making some of... whatever it is you're doing." More of those poisons that she had blatantly asked that alien monster to sample, obviously. But I can't just say it out loud in front of the whole class. Besides, Takebayashi was here for once (suspicious as it was), carefully munching down on his lunch while watching an idol show. As if such a banal thing would stop me from noticing how you glanced towards me every time that I did something. It wasn't as if I was going to stab him or something.

That was more Karma's schtick than mine, to be honest. But back on track. Disregard the paranoid otaku, and focus on the psychopath hellbent on roping in an innocent in our... antics, to put things lightly.

"... I'm asking her, though?"

"This and that are different", I reply with an aggrieved sigh, slamming my head onto my desk once more. More than likely, this was just another ploy to toy around with me. Both Karma and I knew that, and we knew that I was getting close to the edge. He had to be smart. Just why. If he was anything less than a psychopath that I could twist to my own ends, then I would've dumped him by the sidewalk for being too much of a riajuu for my tastes. "Ask her first without my presence."

Indeed. Okuda was already trembling, her knees all but molded together into one amorphous mess as she quickly glanced away from my eyes. To be honest, I almost forgot the effect that these eyes had on other people. Takebayashi didn't mind because he was an otaku. Karasuba-sensei was some kind of top government agent or something. And Karma was just a psychopath, true and true. If any normal person were to look upon these eyes — say, Okuda or someone else — then they would've been intimidated. Nagisa doesn't count. I think. Since he's... Nagisa, he isn't just any kind of normal person.

"Ah, right." Karma looked like a lightbulb had turned on in his head. Which was probably for the better, since he dragged Okuda out of the classroom by the hand and left me alone to savor my silence. I leaned back into my seat, arms crossed behind my nape, and basked in the feeling of silence with a smile on my face.

"Dude."

My smile immediately dropped into a scowl, opening my eyes to find Maehara staring at me with wide eyes and a gaping mouth. What's his problem? "Did you just...?"

"Yeah. Now leave me alone." Really, just one look at the entire situation and anyone with a working brain would know that I wanted some peace and quiet. Do I really need to say things upfront just so these idiots could understand what I'm trying to say here? I never really had a problem with communicating with Shu... though it might just be because of the fact that we've been... friends? I think? Yeah, friends for two years and counting. "Go bother someone else. Better yet, keep on eating. P.E.'s next, remember?"

I was all but done with my lunch, anyway. Nothing more than a few riceballs and some leftovers from yesterday's dinner to get me through the day. Along with a few cans of coffee that I had stashed in my bookbag, it gave me a little bit more oomph during the afternoon. Was it weird that the class period after lunch was always P.E.? No. After all, physical exertion is the best way to shake a sleepy mind awake. Or so I'd like to think, but I do think that it was more of the fact that it was Karasuba-sense teaching us rather than the alien monster.

Everyone part of the E class loves Karasuba-sensei. It was nothing more than a fact. Not that I didn't appreciate his help, but I didn't admire him with the same starry eyes that everyone had. After all, teaching was a soul-crushing job, no matter where you are. But here, in Kunugigaoka? He'd probably be torn apart within the year, forced to go along with the flow like the rest of the teachers had. All part of the principal's plan, of course, but it didn't help in getting rid of the bitter taste in my mouth. Just another one of the reasons why I wanted the bastard out of his position. Well, that and what he did to Shu was... rage-inducing. I'd rather not think about it.

Back to the topic. Peace and quiet wasn't really on the table any longer when you had a Komachi-threatening, tulip-ripping, money-grubbing, wily taskmaster of an alien monster teaching you everything in Kunugigaoka's standard curriculum. It was the main reason why valued times like these, wherein I can just lay back and spend some time in silence. The idle chatter didn't really annoy me all that well, but had grown fond of it during the short time that had spent in this class. At the very least, it was something that had appreciated more ever since I had brought Karma into the fray. Or officialized our alliance. I don't really know the term to describe such a thing.

Went into a deal? That probably works.

While Karma had toned down his abrasiveness towards others, he seemed to have made it up by making sure to annoy me at all hours of the day. It was probably a part of the deal list in the details, something that I can see written in fine print. An inconvenience to be sure, but one that I must suffer through to keep his side of the deal. It whatever passes for a deal inside his mind.

Still, it didn't mean that I didn't get annoyed at his antics. It simply means that rationalized his actions in a way that made sense in my mind. Karma's still annoying as hell.

Reaching into my pockets and pulling out my earphones, I began listening to my phone's playlist while letting the time pass by. Silence is golden, and I plan on getting the most of it before Karma wrecks my solitude.

[——]

I spied upon my target with a hint of trepidation. Karma was beside me, humming upon seeing that alien monster's painfully obvious disguise. Both of us watched at the foreigner all but hanging off the alien monster's tentacle, a shiver running through the bottom of my spine at the sight. Truly despicable. Disgusting. I should add 'molester' to this alien monster's attribute, just so can feel a little bit more at ease.

"You think we should call Karasuba-sensei about this?"

Obviously. I didn't even bother giving Karma a reply as I stood up and began walking towards the faculty room. As per usual, I left the redhead at his spot. Karma seemed interested in watching the fireworks, and wouldn't want to miss it for the world. Lucky him.

"Hm? Hikigaya? This is unexpected." Karasuba-sensei remarked when slid the door open towards the faculty room, glancing a shot at the window just in time to see the alien monster being strung along by that foreigner. "... Ah. So it's about that."

There was a hint of resignation in his voice, meaning that whoever that woman is wasn't classified information. Or at the very least, classified to the class. Nevertheless, I didn't have much to speculate on, which meant that I needed more information. This time however, information that I can actually ask for instead of finding it myself.

How wonderful. To reap the rewards for another's work without doing anything. Truly a wonderful way to live through life. "You know something about that, Karasuba-sensei?"

Our teacher's brow twitched. It seems like was right on the money, then.

"Her name is Irina Jelavich." Karasuba-sensei spoke, turning back towards his laptop. He sounded like he was reading from a script or a resume... which he probably was. "She'll be your English teacher starting today. Officially."

Ah. I see. It wasn't as if the government would just twiddle its thumbs while waiting for a class of fourteen to fifteen year olds to get good enough for assassinating an alien lifeform. Still, I smile while raising a brow. I had to look the part, after all. "And unofficially?"

"She's a hired assassin."

I waited for Karasuba-sensei to elaborate. He seemed to be waiting for a reaction, by the way that he fell silent and turned towards me with a neutral expression. I didn't know what he saw, but he let out a sigh and leaned back against his admittedly comfy-looking chair. His headache must've been as bad as it looked when he started rubbing his temples with an exasperated expression on his face. "You're not even going to say anything about this?"

"I don't really expect the government to place all their eggs into one basket." I replied back, keeping the word 'duh' from being materialized in the depths of my mind. Karasuba-sensei was just a little bit frazzled due to whatever he was doing a while back. I can't imagine sending daily reports to the government being a cushy job. "So yes, I'm not surprised that the government would send in some help. The bounty on that alien monster's head might probably account for the ease in hiring whoever she is."

Needless to say, a chill ran down my spine at the implication that the government was hiring assassins. Luckily, I had my hands shoved into my pockets, so Karasuba-sensei didn't see them trembling. Maybe all of this was just a low-key way to impart that if any one of us were to spread this secret...

"In any case, I advise you to observe her, Hikigaya." Karasuba-sensei replied after a moment of silence, turning back towards his written report. "There are a lot of lessons that you can learn from an assassin like her. Seduction and infiltration, for instance."

"Seduction? Me?" Karasuba-sensei winced. Yeah, I didn't like the image that came up in my mind as well. Just another thing to add to my nightmares, then. Although at the very least, infiltration was something that I can get behind. At the very least, it would make plan 'spike-that-alien-monster's-food-with-laxatives' a lot easier. I might even be able to do it outside of class period, if I get good enough.

... In any case, back to the topic. It would seem like this assassin is some sort of honeypot. Seduction and infiltration painted a good picture of this assassin's abilities, but there was one main flaw in the government's plan to assassinate that damnable Komachi-threatening, tulip-ripping, money-grubbing, perverted, wily taskmaster of an alien monster.

"Karasuba-sensei."

"Hm?"

"Are you sure that this assassin would be able to seduce that alien monster without even a single hint on what its preferences are?"

There was silence in the faculty room, only broken by the clacking of keyboard keys. It took a few moments before Karasuba-sensei gave me a reply. Even then, I can still sense the undercurrent of pain in his tone.

"She's the one that took up the job, if you're asking."

"Ah. So she's one of those people, then."

"Hikigaya, get back to your classroom. If you'd been listening earlier, then classes had already started."

We both know that the opening bell hadn't rung yet, however. It was Karasuba-sensei who rang the damn thing, after all. Nevertheless, I bade my farewell and went back towards the classroom, noticing that Karasuba-sensei had also gotten up from his seat. Probably to make sure that I didn't say anything about our new teacher's... quirks.

Still, Karma needs to know. That way, I can sit back and watch the fireworks.

AN: I have determined that it is much better for me to write this using my phone. However, it also means that the quality might drop due to errors that pop out due to autocorrect. So, I'm going to have to uh, get a beta to make sure that my grammar's up to snuff. Anyone wanna volunteer?

In other news, this arc isn't done yet. Karma's introduction in the manga took about one... two chapters, I think? I want to flesh him out more here. Probably sneak in some characters development to and form what would become Hachiman's clique. Not that he even notices, the idiot. Sometimes having a one-track mind isn't all that promising. Uh, that's experience talking.

Also, a little more butterflies this time around. They're subtle ones to be sure, but the fact that they still happen is a glimpse of things to come. Anyone who wants to share their theories can leave a review. And a favorite. And a follow as well.

Hope you like the chapter, and see you next time on uh... whenever college isn't grating me a new a-hole. Damnable 7 am classes...