Lessons Learned

Chapter Eleven: The Truth

'I want to talk to you about a few things'.

Anastasia sat on the smaller couch with a feeling of unease washing over her. Had she become too comfortable in their routine? Things had become so normal since Elliot had returned home. The only odd thing to her was their lack of intimacy since their first time, but she didn't feel comfortable bringing it up in case there had been any feeling of regret with him. Other than that, things had seemed so domesticated. Of course, their student-teacher relationship was making things difficult and increasingly more uncomfortable, but she kept reminding herself the class would be over soon.

Was he finally tired of the ever-looming threat of Jack on the horizon? Though he had remained quiet, she was sure it wouldn't be the end of hearing from him. Jack was a persistent man, but he was also cold and calculating.

She wondered then if he was finally tired of having a toddler in his home. Teddy was an incredibly well-behaved little boy, but he was still a toddler and sometimes still had little fits. Overall though, Christian seemed to enjoy having Teddy around.

Christian looked just as nervous as her. He was repeatedly rubbing at his face, pushing his fingers through his copper hair, and taking deep breaths.

Her insecurities getting the best of her, she finally blurted out, "What's going on Christian? You're killing me over here."

He looked up at her, his nervous look replaced with an incredulous one. "I'm sorry, I just realized that this might have seemed it was going in a different direction. I want to tell you a few things about my past... and I'm nervous to tell you, because they're big things. But I want things to also work out with you in the future, and I don't think that can happen without being honest with you."

"Being honest? Have you been lying to me about something?"

"I've been lying to everyone about something. Everyone here anyways. Ana, I do still own Grey Enterprises. Part of it anyways, and for the last nine years or so, my partner has mostly been running things with some input from me occasionally."

The situation was complicated, but Ros had been quick to do whatever she could to help him so many years ago. Plus, it meant she ran it most of the time and it had been a major pay increase of her. While Christian was still able to make decisions for the company if he chose to, it had been easier to walk away for the most part. He had sold his material items, such as his plane and his boat. And Escala was a place that he never wanted to set foot in again due to its sordid past.

"So why become a teacher?" She asked, her confusion at the conversation evident.

"I told you before, it was safe. And what I did was... dangerous."

"You told me before it almost killed you."

Christian took a deep breath and stood. He quickly checked over his shoulder to make sure Teddy hadn't quietly made his way to the stairs. After making sure it was clear, his fingers moved to his pants that he began to undo. He could see her confusion as he pulled them down to his knees before he watched her facial expression be overtaken with understanding.

Anastasia knew what she was looking at immediately because her 'step' father Ray had one of his own. Someone had shot Christian, and judging by the area and size of the wound, it could have likely been fatal. She lifted a hand, touching the ridges of the scar before looking up at him.

"Who did this to you?" She asked, suddenly feeling protective of the man that had spent weeks protecting her.

He pulled his jeans back up, zipping them before sitting back to next to her.

"That's where it gets... complicated. A former person I was in business with shot me... I believe she was trying to actually kill me, but my head of security came in. She had somehow gotten into my apartment and," He motioned again to his leg.

"Business gone bad I'm assuming?"

"Something like that. I ended ties with her when I found out she had been embezzling from the business I had owned with her. I was always a no-nonsense businessman, and so after my advisors informed me of her activity, I immediately got my lawyers involved. I didn't think about the potential consequences."

"Well, I doubt you would have thought that would be the result."

"It wasn't. Initially." Christian took a deep breath again. "Ana, that partner and I had begun sleeping together when I was 15."

Anastasia shifted in her seat, unsure of where the conversation was going. "So, scorn girlfriend as well?"

"Not exactly." His face went back in his hands. "She was 30 when we began sleeping together. It ended when I was in my early 20's..."

"Oh."

Ana took her own deep breath, unsure of how to respond. He had been a victim, at the young age of fifteen. Her heart broke at how hard it must have been for him to tell this story. "Christian, you don't have to tell me anymore if you don't want to."

"No... no I need to do this. She had initially given me the startup money for Grey Enterprises, but after I had paid it back, tenfold, I didn't want to be taken advantage of anymore. She controlled every aspect of my life. And when I ended the business ties, she threatened to expose our relationship. And she did."

"Oh no,"

"And everyone found out... including my mother, who was her best friend."

"What?! Did she... did she ever get in trouble?"

"She's been in prison for the past nine years. That day I received that call that made me so upset? I found out she's up for parole, and I have to travel back to Seattle to make sure she can't get out."

Anastasia paused; her mouth slightly agape as she mentally digested the words he was telling her. After a moment she collected herself and cleared her throat, "I'll admit. This is not... what I was thinking you'd be telling me."

"Do I disgust you?"

I disgust myself, he thought.

He wondered if he had ruined whatever they were forming by his admission. But while he felt disgusted with himself for even having to admit such a thing, he also felt a weight lifting off his chest. She had been the first person that hadn't been directly involved in his life at the time that he had told.

Christian knew he would need to one day tell her the nature of his and Elena's relationship, and his relationships that followed, but he didn't want to overwhelm her. And frankly after how Jack had treated her, he didn't want her to look at him like they were similar.

He slowly glanced up at her, surprised to find that her expression was not one of pity, but one of caring and understanding.

"Do you disgust me? Of course not. Christian, that's... a lot to digest, I won't lie. You've been through a lot, and there's a lot of questions I have, but I'm not sure right now is the time to ask them. That must have taken a lot to tell me all of this. Thank you."

Christian felt that weight lift completely off him and he let out a breath of relief. In a moment of vulnerability, and one that was unlike him, he moved toward her and embraced her, kissing her on the forehead.

"Thank you."

Anastasia glanced at the clock next to Christians bed in his guest room.

11:07 pm

She knew she'd need to go lay with Teddy soon. Every night he'd wake up for a few minutes, looking around until he found her. He'd then fall back to sleep soundly until the morning. Now though, Ana didn't want to move. She lay in Christians bed with him, her head on his chest while his fingers stroked her arm. After what seemed like such an emotional talk with him, he had asked her to lay with him.

Though she was surprised by his request, she immediately accepted. They had been silent for the most part and when she looked up at him, his eyes were closed. She momentarily wondered if he was sleeping before he peeked down at her.

"Go on. I know you want to ask me something," he finally said.

She sat up on her knees. "Do you miss it?" She asked.

"Do I miss what? Being rich?" He sat up on his elbows and let out a small laugh. "Everything I told you, and that's what you're asking me?"

"I didn't want to pry on the... other subjects."

He let out another laugh and laid back down, putting his arm behind his head.

He continued, "Yes. I do. And no, I don't. I miss... the power. But I don't miss the dependence. Live was... all planned out, every day. My food was cooked, my house cleaned. I did nothing, but business. It was lonely." He turned his head to look at her. "When I grew up, before I was with my adoptive parents, we had no money."

"That's right, you had mentioned that." Anastasia lay back down on him, snuggling into the crook of his arm again.

"So when I finally did have money, I acted like it. I still do have money - like I said, I still own part of the business. I just realized I don't need a housekeeper, or someone driving me around..."

"You were humbled."

"Exactly."

Anastasia began to let her fingertips drag across his stomach. "I think it's admirable that you took such a trying time and turned it into bettering yourself. Like I said, I still have a lot of questions... but don't ever think you could disgust me. I revere you."

Christian felt in awe of her, though her fingers on his bare skin were beginning to awaken other feelings.

"Ana, don't." He said quietly, as her hand began to move lower.

Her hand immediately halted, and she sat up on her knees once again, a frown on her face.

"Okay, did you regret having sex with me Christian? You said you didn't the day after but we... we haven't..." Anastasia said, thoroughly looking hurt in her features.

"What?! No!" He sat up on his elbows once more, "It's just... Teddy's been here."

"And?"

"And I don't... I don't know, he's a kid... and..." Christian suddenly felt stupid as he said the words, but he wasn't sure how having a kid around worked.

Anastasia scooted closer to him, "Christian. He's sleeping. It's not like he's downstairs trying to boil water on the stove. Adults can still have sex even if there is a kid in the house. I'm sure your parents did."

"Gross."

"You're so silly. I thought you honestly just... maybe didn't enjoy it, or... I don't know."

Christian immediately readjusted himself, crawling toward her until she gave, and he finally lay on top of her.

Anastasia hooked one of her legs around his own at his lips crashed against hers. His hand immediately moved to the hem of her shirt, fingers sliding beneath the fabric to lightly move along her skin. It made her shiver.

She hadn't been expected his immediate response, but as she felt his growing bulge in between his legs, she was glad. Since their first-time having sex, she had been left wanting so much more. She could see now that he had felt the same.

His lips trailed down her neck, teeth nipping at the skin there as he ground his hips down into hers. She let out a soft moan, the mixture of pleasure and pain exquisite.

"You like that?" He growled next to her, and she responded by pushing her hips back up into his.

She felt herself getting lost in the moment, until a little voice came from the hallway.

"Mommy!"

Christian let out a small laugh against her skin, pushing himself off her and giving her the biggest I told you so face she'd ever seen.

7:08 am

Christian leaned back against the granite counter top as he enjoyed a fresh cup of coffee in his favorite mug. The townhouse was quiet; Anastasia and Teddy were both still asleep. He could admit to himself that while he enjoyed being around them, it was nice to have a moment alone.

He stood and thought about the night before. Telling Ana everything, or mostly everything, had been freeing. But he knew there would eventually be more to tell her if they progressed. The thought of having to have that conversation with her pained him.

How could he ever possibly explain the world of BDSM to a woman that had been abused by a boyfriend? Would she see that it wasn't actually meant to be violent, but enjoyable for both parties? His mind momentarily slipped back to his days of having submissive's and shook his head, trying to remove those thoughts. Christian didn't miss that world, and while he was open to the possibility of 'playing' per say in the bedroom, he would never have another submissive again.

His phone pinged, breaking him of his thoughts. A quick glance told him it was an e-mail to his school account and so he opened it, expecting to see a student explaining they'd be missing class.

From: Natasha Sanford

To: Christian Grey

Subject: Nice to meet you, coffee maybe?

Message: Professor Grey. I hope this email doesn't come off as inappropriate, but I found it in the directory. I thought maybe since i'll be helping you out we could get some coffee and get to know each other a little better?

xoxo

Natasha

Christian raised an eyebrow at the closing part of the email, especially after her comment about the appropriateness of the email. He had never involved himself much with the help of TA's. It had been simpler to do things himself rather than teach someone how to do something, and wait the extra time.

He immediately hit the delete button.

Anastasia couldn't focus on the lesson her teacher was presenting. Her mind was racing with everything that Christian had told her.

He wasn't just a teacher; he was still a very successful businessman. That meant nothing to her, but what really continued to play over and over in her head was how someone could take advantage of him at such a young age and try to kill him later on in life.

The image of the bullet wound was seared into her brain and the thought of someone trying to hurt him had her clenching her fists. Since that night of the Halloween party, Christian had done nothing but make sure that she was safe. Now that he would have to return to Seattle and relive those memories, she wondered if she'd be able to do the same.