So, I'm back with a new chapter! I've been doing this and redoing this over and over and I just couldn't find a way that I liked before now. But if anyone's worried, this story isn't abandoned or on hiatus, it's just that my muse for this story is kind of going dormant now that the pollen has arrived and I just couldn't figure out how to get this chapter the way I wanted before my brain suddenly got the necessary inspiration to write this chapter.

So thank you so much for your support for this story and for sticking with me for all this time!

Chapter eighteen

Roy felt like screaming. To shout every profanity in the universe. To just unload some of his pent up frustration because of what Alphonse had just told him.

That Ed might never wake up.

And now this nurse in front of him was crying her heart out because someone was threatening her son, meaning that he had to push away all his emotions. He wanted to scream at her to piss off and come back later.

But Roy had to act professionally and that meant that he had to keep a straight face and his voice level, because he couldn't risk another child's life. And so he lifted two of the fingers on his heavily bandaged left hand, silently telling Hawkeye that he got this.

And first of all, he needed to make this nurse in front of him calm down. "The Lieutenant won't shoot you. Now what's your name?"

"Lindsay… Please! I only have two minutes to call back and then they'll shoot him!" The words were shrill and panicked and she looked like all the strength in her body had left her.

"Go ahead." Roy spoke through slightly gritted teeth because of a particularly sharp jab of pain from his leg.

She pulled out a note from her pocket and despite her tears and everything, her voice was level as she read it out loud.

…In a very different voice than before. "You definitely owe me a hamburger."

Roy could only stare at her. "Excuse me?!"

"Hamburgers… Like a week's worth of hamburgers. And fries and ketchup."

"What the hell are you talking about?!"

"There's no way I'm gonna go a whole month without fast food if you can't even keep your promise not to get drugged again for more than three days."

That stirred something in Roy's mind and he opened his eyes, like actually opened his eyes, realising that he had in fact been dreaming.

And his eyes fell upon a very familiar head of blonde hair and a pair of golden eyes, the left one still only half-open because of the black eye. Roy froze. Ed was lying there on Roy's right leg, a large pillow propped up under his stomach and his automail arm nowhere in sight. Most of Ed was covered in bandages, including his entire left arm from hand to shoulder, but his wrist clearly wasn't broken like in the dream, but merely sprained like before. And Roy's leg clearly wasn't broken either. What he had thought was a cast, had actually been Ed lying on his leg. "Edward," Roy said, his eyes wide and he was absolutely stunned. "You're actually okay? You're not in a coma?"

"Does it look like I am? I only got knocked out and woke up in the ambulance to find you babbling about some weird shit because those Shadow jerks obviously drugged you again. You've been like that for hours, shouting orders at invisible nurses and pulling rank on your IV stand. And other stuff."

Roy couldn't help the blush. "Wait, what other stuff?"

Ed looked a bit angry and hurt. "Well, you nearly told the entire team about the belting while thinking you were my brother."

Roy reached out with his heavily bandaged left hand as his right was currently trapped in a sling, and placed it on Ed's right cheek, not caring about how much it stung to do so, because Ed was here and he was talking and alive. And Roy also felt bad as hell that he'd said things that were highly embarrassing for the kid. "Ed, I'm so sorry. Now tell me how you are doing?"

"Better than you, you basically shielded me, and what was left was just my automail arm, so I'm okay. The bandages are just from a lot of small cuts after the window shattered, so you've got a fair few yourself. But what about you? You've got a broken collarbone after having your shoulder fucking impaled!"

"The doesn't matter as long as you're not lying comatose in the bed next to me and dying because I failed to protect you," Roy said softly, giving Ed a weak smile. The pain from Roy's shoulder had obviously seemed worse when he was out of it, seeing as Roy definitely did have painkillers in his system and all he really cared about was that Ed was speaking to him.

Ed rolled his eyes at him. "That's so sentimental, it doesn't suit you."

Roy just kept smiling at him, cupping his cheek. "Don't care, kiddo."

Edward groaned, but didn't move away from the touch.

Roy looked at Ed, forcing their eyes to meet, because he had to know if he had broken his promise about not telling people about the belting. He knew that if the rest of them knew, then that would be a serious blow to Ed's pride and Roy did not wish to be the one to bring that about, no matter how much he knew that his team would never think any the lesser of Ed, but only get even more ready to tie Schiff up and do the same to him. What Schiff had done to Ed was not "spank" him, it had been torture for the sake of torture and if Ed would just go to General Grumman and show him just exactly what Schiff did, then the bastard would be facing a court-martial before he even knew what was happening. Schiff had mutilated Ed's skin and flesh and Ed would have nasty scars for the rest of his life. Spankings did not involve about thirty stitches. That had been nothing more than the unprovoked torture of a child.

And Roy would find a way to make him pay for that.

"Edward, did I tell the others?" Roy asked, looking at him in a way that left no room for lies and half-truths.

"No. Hawkeye got the others outside as soon as you began reciting the list of mostly imaginary injuries, so not even Al knows," Ed said before looking down. "And besides, Al's back at HQ helping with recovering the source of the explosion and cleaning up the rubble and stuff."

Roy gave a relieved sigh and gently began stroking Ed's cheek with the outside of his hand.

"Thanks, you know… For stitching me up earlier," Ed said in a low voice, still not looking at Roy.

Roy, however, got a nasty suspicion at that. "Edward, please tell me that you did not just survive an explosion without telling the doctors about the extent of your previous injuries?"

"They know about my back and they redressed it, don't worry."

Roy sighed. "Edward…"

"Shut up, Roy, it's not feeling any different, there's no need for them to know about that."

"You know, Ed, for a genius, you can be pretty stupid," Roy began to move to get out of the bed with a sigh. "Come on, kid, we'll have a look at it. I'm sure we can borrow a first aid kit if necessary and we can fix you up in the bathroom." Roy pointed to the lovely door at the other side of the room, revealing the splendour of not having to use a shared bathroom, even if the space was a bit cramped in order to squeeze in a shower, but they would make do.

And so Ed awkwardly got out of the bed with some support from Roy, and he was limping even heavier than before, confirming Roy's suspicions that the boy definitely wasn't doing fine.

They got inside the bathroom and Roy locked the door before sitting down on the lid of the toilet in front of a very awkward-looking and blushing Ed.

"Come on, Ed, let's just get this over with."

Ed turned around and winced and hissed as he bent to pull down his hospital trousers with his injured hand and wrist to reveal that his boxers were now bloodstained. Roy could tell that even if it hadn't yet soaked through to his trousers, it would have done so very soon. Ed then pulled them off too, revealing the bloody bandages and sickening bruises that covered his entire rear.

Roy threw all professionalism out the window in a second at seeing how much damage that had been done to his boy, and stood up and turned Ed around again and pulled him into a hug, not caring one iota about the way his shoulder was protesting the actions loudly. "Oh, Ed…" Roy said, feeling sick.

"Is it really that bad?" Ed asked, the right side of his face pressed against Roy's chest.

"Edward, I'll be honest, it looks like hell. I can only guess that quite a few of the stitches have been ripped, meaning that we need someone to help."

Ed froze. "No way. It's bad enough with you, but at least you're Roy … I don't want the others to know that Schiff mutilated my fucking ass. No way."

Roy sighed. "Edward, I currently only have about half of my non-dominant hand working, you're going to have to accept some help. Whether it's from the team or the doctors is up to you."

"No! And there's no way in hell that I'll let the doctors know! I'm not gonna let that be on my medical records!"

"Then the team. Hawkeye is good with a needle, Ed, and she won't breathe a word of it."

Ed pulled out of the hug at that, staring at Roy in horror, his cheeks bright red. "Hell no! I'm not gonna flash my ass at Hawkeye!"

Roy could barely repress the smirk because this was one of those rare times where Ed was acting his age. Right now, Ed was actually just being the teenage boy that he was.

Roy suddenly heard a couple of knocks and the sound of somebody coming into their hospital room. "Uh, Boss? Ed?" came a familiar voice.

"In here, Havoc," Roy said, trying to think of a lie that would work while his mind was elsewhere. "Ed's hair needed a wash, he had lots of dust in it."

Roy looked at Ed meaningfully, silently telling him that "we're going to ask him."

"Hell, no!" Ed hissed.

"Oh, okay, Boss. I just came to tell you about the bomb. Turns out the MPs made an arrest. I'll wait in here," Havoc offered.

"We'll be right there, Havoc, thank you." Roy glared at Edward while also feeling a leap of joy in his chest at the thought that they might actually have a lead on the bastards that wanted to hurt his boys and who blew up a building to do it. "Edward, I'm asking him…" Roy whispered. "Nobody will ever know!"

"I told you, NO!" Ed whispered furiously back at him.

"Edward, you need help, for fuck's sake! It's not like he hasn't seen stuff like this before!"

"Boss? Are you sure everything is fine?" came Havoc's worried voice.

"I'm asking him!" Roy hissed.

"NO!" Ed repeated through gritted teeth.

"Cos last time I checked, none of you actually had, you know … hands … to wash Ed's hair with."

Roy stopped his furious staring match with Ed and just closed his eyes, cursing himself, just as Ed swore loudly.

"Damn you, Roy! You did that on purpose, didn't you?!" Ed demanded.

Roy looked at him. "I wasn't thinking, okay?! And there aren't that many excuses you can use in this situation, are there?!"

"And so you had to go with the one that anyone could see through within seconds! I thought you were tactical! You could have gone with helping me with the toothbrush or something!"

Roy froze. That was a very good point. "Fine! Excuse me for not thinking clearly because my kid is hurt and refusing help!"

Ed glared at him and spoke through gritted teeth. "Stop talking!"

Roy rolled his eyes, knowing that they were already screwed and Roy wasn't going to convince him anytime soon. And so instead he just strode over to the door and unlocked it, just before Ed jumped at him sideways, pushing him away from the door, making it impossible for him to grab the handle and push it down as he instead was forced backwards, causing his legs to crash into the two-inch edge around the shower, making him trip and fall on his ass just as Ed pulled his boxers back on with quite a few pained curses. "Edward! Come on! Stop being so stupid about this!"

"It's my business!"

"Well, it's my duty to take care of you!" Roy said, getting to his feet, only to have Ed's automail leg step on his chest to force him back down again. That thing really weighed a tonne.

"Well, obviously you're too useless to do it!" Ed growled.

Roy just stared at him, his chest suddenly feeling very tight.

Ed suddenly stepped back, removing the pressure from Roy's chest. "Fuck, Roy, I didn't mean—!"

Roy just held up his left hand in surrender, his insides feeling cold. "No, it's fine… I deserve it. It's my fault that you're here after all." Roy had to work hard on keeping his face straight. That comment had been entirely correct and justified, really. Roy had been stupid earlier and it had caused Ed's belting. It had been the reason why they had been there when the explosion went off and it was why Roy couldn't take care of Ed like he wanted to now.

But damn it if it didn't feel like Ed had punched him several times in the gut with those few words.

"Stop that shit, you know that that's not true," Ed said. "I shouldn't have said it."

Roy just looked at him with a raised eyebrow. "Edward, it's entirely justified. If anyone has the right to be angry with me after all this, it's you."

Ed looked at him, torn between anger and guilt. "No, Roy. Just stop that. It isn't true."

"Actually, it is." Roy was really struggling to keep his voice steady. Perhaps these last few days had just been a lie. Roy had been living a lie and Ed had finally caught up on it and exposed Roy. "You're absolutely right. I'm useless. I've failed to protect you how many times now? What that drug made me see could just as well have been the truth. I mean, really, that was just luck. Imagine what would have happened to your arm if it hadn't been automail? You'd probably have bled to death while I'd have been sitting next to you, drugged to high heaven as you died and I wouldn't have had a clue. That sounds pretty useless to me, kid."

Ed glared at him for a minute without saying anything while his lips trembled slightly. "You fucking IDIOT!" Ed shouted suddenly. "STOP THAT SELF-PITY "I'M YOUR CO AND IT'S MY DUTY BECAUSE I'M THE ALMIGHTY COLONEL" GUILT CRAP AND JUST START BEING MY DAD, WOULD YOU?!"

They both froze. Ed's eyes widened as his cheeks turned bright red.

Roy could only stare at him as Ed quickly turned away. "You know, like stop acting like we're in the office and I'm just some stupid subordinate who you need to protect cos I'm working under you. I can think for myself."

"Edward, I—" Roy began, stunned, but then they heard poorly disguised snickers on the other side of the door and Ed immediately limped over to it and threw it open.

"Shut it, Havoc, and get a first aid kit and wipe that stupid grin off your face, you need to stitch up my butt."

Havoc froze, his eyebrows raised. "Your …?"

Roy looked at him. "Schiff decided to belt him."

All traces of laughter vanished from his face instantly. "Damn."

"And Roy: you go get like about five hamburgers in the cafeteria."

Roy looked at Ed, then back at Havoc and then back at Ed again.

Then he chuckled and got to his feet, stopping by the doorway to wrap his arm around Ed and hug him again. "Damn, I'm glad you're awake, kiddo."